Sorry for the long delay. Getting ready for my 18th birthday on Tuesday. But I'm still alive and writing new chapters. Here it is.
I try to be delicate
Then crash right into it
But my intentions are good
Sometimes just misunderstood
[Miley Cyrus - Nobody's perfect]
Chapter 21 - Miscalculations
He does fall asleep after all, slumping forward on the end of the bed, head resting rather uncomfortably against the metal. The machines around him beep slowly, an electric, sizzling sound fills the air, but to him it seems strangely comforting. And then his eyes close and don't open again.
For an hour or so everyone in the room is asleep. Then somewhere down in the office a bell rings softly, and a blonde nurse in spotless white clothing comes upstairs. Her grey rubber shoes slap against the floor with each step and rip Liza, Tobias and Michael out of their lazy half-asleep state on the chairs in the hallway.
"Visiting time is over", she says with a small smile. "You can come back tomorrow at eight. Until then, I have to ask you to leave the building."
They share looks, each with their own thoughts, but with similar confusion shown on their faces. Liza softly knocks against the door of Splinter's room, and something moves inside. She opens the door slowly, peeking in through it cautiously. Before she enters to tell the boys they have to leave, she hears Tobias ask the nurse something.
"It's 10 p.m. now", the nurse answers, and a shudder is crawling down Liza's spine. Ten. They have spent a whole day without noticing anything. They haven't even eaten anything, and even though she does feel slightly nauseous, it isn't nearly half as bad as it should be to someone used to having food around all the time. It doesn't feel like 10 p.m. either. Rather like two in the afternoon.
"Guys", she calls out and is met by sleepy gazes from four sets of eyes. Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello are standing in a kind of defense, arms raised, even though their movements look rather clumsy compared to their normal natural grace. Leo just stares at her, his long blue hair ruffled and his expression confused.
Splinter remains as he is, still and unmoving, and Liza looks away before she can take in details.
They leave the building and step out into the warm summer night. The moon and stars shine brightly here, and the four brothers take their time to stare up at them, because New York's light pollution is so much worse than here, and they have rarely seen that many stars except for the farm house.
Liza can't help but think that it shouldn't be dark outside. It should be a sunny Sunday afternoon, and she should spend it with her friends at the local swimming pool. Not night. Not 10 p.m.
Maybe she's just paranoid.
Or maybe someone - something - is messing with their time line.
When another shudder crawls down her spine, it's not because of the cold.
*L*A*T*E*R*
They took two taxi back from the hospital, not talking on the way. After a brief good-night and the tiniest discussion about the rooms they have all gone to bed, each in their own room, with Raph simply crashing on the living room couch. Liza refuses to show them how much it bothers her. She remembers the last time they were here all too clearly; huddled together on mattresses in the living room, telling stories and laughing through the night. Now it seems that they don't even want to talk to each other.
Michael and Tobias have to leave, eventually, and she walks down the street with them a few metres in her need to escape the tense atmosphere of her own home. Everyone's nerves are blank. Michael even asks her if it is okay to just leave her alone. She smiles, trying to put as much gratitude as possible into the small movement of her lips, before she hugs them. "Go home. I have four ninja protectors around, I'll be fine."
They all know that exactly these "ninja protectors" are the reason Michael is asking in the first place. But they won't say it aloud. It'd make it more real, somehow.
They stay at the corner of the May's fence for another few moments, seemingly reluctant.
"I've been thinking, you know", Tobias says slowly, and Liza holds back her angry comment because it's not the red-head she's mad at. She doesn't even know who that is, exactly. No. That's not true. The one she wants to yell at is Ue. Instead, she urges her friend to continue. The night is getting chilly.
"Thinking about what?"
He looks at her then. The sharp white light of the street lanterns deepen the frown that's ceasing his brow, causing every line to stand out like black marker. "About how to get them back into their timeline", he answers.
Liza doesn't miss Michael's confused look, but before she can react, Tobias continues with his explanation.
"We need to get Usagi here."
She stares at him, unsure about what he's getting at. "What?"
Michael stares, too. "What the hell is an Usagi?" Lack of sleep and irritation make his voice sharper than usual, and he takes a deep breath, calming himself. Not for the first time Liza thinks that he is kind of like Leo in his behaviour.
Like Leo was.
She wonders if Michael ever had any kind of self-defense training.
"Usagi is a friend of Leo." Tobias gives the short explanation absently before continuing, facing the girl again. "I am not sure if they can solve this problem without him. Or, let's say there is a fight. Do you think- are you absolutely certain- that they don't need him to win? In the timeline we know, he is a mayor factor in their victory. Besides, he might have some valuable information. And he might just be able to snap Leo out of... whatever spell he's under."
When he says it like that, it sounds perfectly reasonable. When Liza thinks about it, it sounds only stupid.
"How are we supposed to get Usagi here?"
Her disbelief is plain in her voice, and he is taken aback, his motivation fading. Liza isn't done yet, though. "And now you think about it. What it we could, somehow, open a portal. What good would that do? You think he'd just hop through and say 'Hey'? And if we went there, he'd never believe us." Not that we'd live long enough to actually find out in his world. "We don't know what's happening at his home. Without Leo there, what's gonna happen to Lord Noryuki-what's-he-called? And the giant snake guy and everything?"
Tobias looks at her in fresh horror. Michael looks at her as if she had lost her mind. And that's when she finds out.
He doesn't know anything. Realization sets in, hard, making her eyes go wide. Gosh, Tobi, are you sure you know what you are getting yourself into?
She stares at the red-head. Tobias stares back. They hold gazes for the fraction of a second, and suddenly Liza feels the time stretch out before her. She feels the second flatten, becoming a thin layer quivering with tension, before it rips and she snaps back into the present.
They go.
She looks after them.
Something is going to happen.
She has a bad feeling about this.
*T*M*N*T*
Donatello is pressing the pillow against his face, screaming into the thick layer of fabric and feathers until he runs out of air. He takes a deep breath. Buries his face again. Resumes screaming.
The buttons dig into his cheeks, leaving deep red marks like half-moons in his pale skin. His throat hurts. His eyes are prickling, squeezed shut. It's nothing compared to the agony, the endless agony he keeps locked within him, fed by self-hatred and fury.
His fingers cramp. Every muscle is sore. Even his hair seems to hurt. He doesn't have the willpower left to tell himself that this is impossible. He isn't doctor professor Donatello right now. He thinks this part of him might have died, dropped dead and gone without him noticing, without him being able to stop. Along with his happiness. Along with them.
He screams again, muffled by the white soft fabric, pressing his nails into his palms, desperately searching for a release that won't wake up the others.
The pillow is wet.
Leo turns it around, presses it against his ears, crawls under the blanket to hide himself. It doesn't help. It doesn't change anything. He can still hear the cries, the agonized screams from the boy that calls himself his brother.
He doesn't know what to do about it, doesn't know what his place is in this world of horrors, and so he hides and closes his eyes and tries to ignore it. But he can't.
The pillow is wet.
*L*I*Z*A*
My thoughts are swirling in my head fast enough to make me feel dizzy. Maybe I should eat something now. Maybe I'll feel better then. Maybe once I've eaten I'll wake up and everything is normal and fine and it was just a weird dream, keeping me away from food so I won't escape.
Doesn't even make sense to me.
Ten steps from my door, from my fridge, from my bed.
Nine steps to the safety of my own room.
Eight steps, and my fingers search for the key in my pockets.
Seven steps, and I'm tensing.
Six steps. Something is there.
Five steps. Hurry up.
Four steps. Paranoia.
Three steps.
Two.
One.
Blackness.