Reconstruction Arc
Chapter 21
The Observer
~I~
He'd hoped his short walk from the elevator to starboard observation would go unnoticed. Seven meters of peace was all he asked for. No such luck, he heard footsteps coming from the hall. It was Garrus. They both stopped in unwelcome surprise. Garrus glared sharply in ire and kept silent. He had nothing to say to the passenger. He blinked and turned away.
Naruto watched passively as Garrus retreated. This wasn't their first incident, the ship had become uncomfortably small. Many on the ship reacted negatively to the news of his imminent departure, and Garrus was the worst of them. He was angry at both Shepard for kicking him off, among other things apparently, and at Naruto for letting it happen. First Kaidan, the Alliance, Anderson and The Council, Liara and now him, just another friend who walked away when they needed him most. And what made it truly painful was his hunch they were keeping the real reason from him. He felt betrayed, much like Naruto had, by both of his friends.
Not everyone treated him with disdain. Most simply ignored him like the elephant in the room. If he passed them in the halls the opposite wall was suddenly fascinating. Two CIC crewmembers once talked about the weather after he sat down next to them at the table. The weather. In space. It wasn't hard to get the message. He was an outsider now.
And he'd done his share to reinforce that view. The crew that tried to reconnect him were politely rebuffed. He'd tried the first day after Chakwas insisted on giving him a checkup. He tried talking over breakfast with Rupert and Kelly, and down in the engines with Ken and Gabby. But it was strained when everyone knew how temporary it was. They finally silently agreed to wait until he left to have a final goodbye, no more awkwardly dragging it out. So he accepted his role as a specter aboard the Normandy and unwillingly haunted whichever room he occupied at that brief moment.
Ignoring Garrus with a sigh, he planned to haunt the observatory for now.
It pleased him to find it empty. Samara must be getting her equipment from the armory. She always was punctual, if not early. Naruto had the room to himself, probably for the last time.
He set himself on the left bench and stared out into the cosmos. The whole of possibility stretched out before him. He could go anywhere, nothing but his own uncertainty was holding him back now. But there was the problem with endless choice. You had no idea where to begin.
Everywhere in his past felt unwelcoming, even his homeworld, and everything else was unknown. He was still lost with no way forward after the trial. He feared for his future. He watched the stars twinkle and wondered which of them would welcome him. After all, there were billions of homes in this galaxy. Surely one could be for him.
"Didn't know you could be quiet for so long."
Naruto jumped from his seat and twisted, "What the!?" he asked perplexed, he hadn't heard the door open.
It was Jacob. The man leaned, "Whoa! Talk about wound up. Can't say I blame you though." Jacob shot Naruto a reassuring smile, and pointed at his stomach. Naruto panicked and wondered if he was referring to the Fox, but Jacob said, "Looks like you're already packing on lost pounds. Rupert's food is good for something after all."
Naruto grimaced, Jacob's friendliness was unsettling now that he was used to being ignored. He recovered his composure and said, "Shouldn't be getting ready for the trial?"
Jacob shrugged, "I'm the armorer, gotta make sure everyone else is suited up first. The Rayya's Captain was very clear that anyone without perfect suit seals wasn't setting foot on their liveship. So I gotta triple-check everyone who's gonna support Tali."
"Everyone? It's not just the ground team?"
"Shepard made it optional for everyone on board."
That might be a lot, Tali was well-liked by most of the crew. A strong show of support would mean a lot to her. "So you're on break?" Naruto asked.
"Most of the crew are good to go. Just checking if you want in too."
Naruto raised an eyebrow, "I'm a passenger, I'm not part of the crew anymore."
"I followed up with the Commander. He made it clear, 'optional for everyone on board'."
"Did he..." Naruto pondered. Naruto had come to believe the only thing expected of him was obedience. No rash acts or sudden outbursts that could indicate a lack of control, or anything that could lead to an incident, especially with the Fox. Sit down and don't make a fuss, in simple terms. He hadn't expected Shepard to give him the choice to attend. Still, it seemed like a bad call, "This is for Tali, and I don't think she wants me there."
"Come on, listen to yourself. We both know that isn't true."
Wasn't it? They hadn't spoke since he found her returning his belongings to his quarters. He never asked her to help him move the rest of it like she'd offered. Since then she'd given him plenty of space, or as much as she could with his quarters so close by. He made himself scarce when she was in engineering, it was why he'd come to the observatory in the first place. His assumption was she didn't want to pressure him into a conversation he wasn't prepared for. Or maybe she did, but like him couldn't figure out how to start. Regardless, he couldn't bear to face her now, he still felt shame for everything he'd done.
But if Jacob was right, she wanted him there. Was he too blind to see it? Did Shepard want that too, was that why he gave him the choice? And even if all this was true, could he bear watching her put on trial?
"I don't know what's true anymore. I didn't expect everything to be perfect, I just wanted them to be better." Naruto finally answered pensively.
Jacob tilted his head, "Look, I get where you're coming from."
"You think so?"
"I do, probably one of the few who can on this boat. A lot of them signed up for this assignment because of Shepard. You heard the way they've talked about him, he's still more a legend than a man. Me? I don't buy tall tales. I'm here because I think Cerberus are the only ones taking the Reapers seriously, and The Illusive Man is placing his faith in Shepard to stop the Collectors.
"But I'm not placing all my bets on one man. I'll admit there have been times I've asked if this really is the best place for me. I seriously considered leaving halfway through the Lazarus Project, and again after we lost you on the cruiser. But I'm still here. For now. I'm still open to new options until I'm entirely convinced that where I am is exactly where I need to be. So if you really are moving on to look for a better place, you've got no hard feelings from me. Hell, if you end up somewhere better than here, let me know and I may join you. Regardless, right now I think Tali could really use your support."
Naruto tried to hide his sudden stupor. So it wasn't only him wondering where else he could go. Was it just Jacob, or could there be others? He hadn't heard any ruminations before he was captured. Or had he just missed them? Could his departure be the beginning of Shepard's team coming apart?
Well it didn't matter now, Shepard already dismissed him and his clock was counting down. The only real choice he had left was whether he would support Tali or not. Sure, he felt like he didn't belong. But it was better than sitting here alone.
Naruto nodded, turning to Jacob, "Alright, I'm going. I'll need a suit."
Jacob grinned, "Now we're talking. Follow me."
Naruto took one final look through the observation window. Somewhere nestled between the heavenly masses was the Migrant Fleet, an entire race endlessly wandering the stars. Were it not for his species, he could fit right in. Just another wanderer searching for a home. Perhaps he'd learn from all their years wandering the heavens and find some answers of his own.
~II~
"Ugh, this space suit is really cramping my daddy bags." Ken complained.
"Definitely harder to breathe in these things. Glad we're not on the ground team." Gabby added.
Joker grimaced, "If the guy with brittle bones isn't complaining, I think you can bear it."
Naruto shifted uncomfortably behind the group in the quarian boarding ramp, which doubled as a decontamination chamber. He stood behind the rest of the outgoing personnel: Garrus, Jacob, Miranda, Samara, Kasumi, and Kelly along with Ken, Gabby and Joker. Shepard and Tali were already on board the Rayya.
A red light blinked overhead as a noticeably quarian voice said, "We're beginning the enhanced decontamination process in 30 seconds. All personnel check your suit seals."
'Enhanced' because Normandy's decontamination was insufficient by quarian standards. This enhanced process had been mastered by necessity. The team patted down their seals and checked their omni-tools for suit leakage. They needed to remain secure. Moments later they learned why.
A magnetic field running along the ground secured them to the floor. Tiny holes opened in the decontamination chamber. Invisible gases were audibly and violently sucked into the emptiness outside and exposing them to the vacuum. Naruto huddled into himself until he felt the cyclonic rush end. Then powerful radiation waves blasted the exterior of their suits to finish off whatever hapless bacteria somehow survived the void. After a minute of this the holes sealed themselves and quarian sterile atmosphere was pumped into the boarding ramp.
The doors opened just as everyone recovered their bearing. Shepard and Tali were waiting outside. Shepard rounded them up, "Everyone get in line. The Rayya's Captain is going to brief us before he grants us access."
The crew and the passenger did as they were told. They lined up in front of the quarian wearing a gray environmental suit lined with red flourishes. Naruto wasn't sure whether this was personal aesthetics or a symbol of rank.
The ship's Captain looked across the line with his hands resting calmly behind his back. "I am Captain Kar'Danna vas Rayya. On behalf of the Migrant Fleet and the quarian people I welcome you to the Rayya, and know we wish it were under more fortunate circumstances.
"We have a few conditions we ask you to abide by. First, treat all members on board with the respect owed a member of the Migrant Fleet. In particular, the Admirals are the guiding hands of our people.* Show them the respect they deserve. Second, you are to remain in your suits at all times with no exceptions. Third, you are not to leave authorized areas. You are being granted access to the trail chamber and nowhere else. We cannot risk unauthorized access to our sensitive systems. Fourth, during the trial you are expected to remain silent unless called upon by the Admiralty or the defense. Only Captains holding a recognized commission of their people may request permission to speak without being formally called.
Commander Shepard, though you are not a Captain, you are recognized as the leader and voice of your vessel, and so hold similar status. The rest of you, any breach in protocol will be viewed as contempt and will not help Tali'Zorah. Are there any complaints with these conditions?"
No one spoke, though Naruto was sure there were plenty. The Captain nodded, "I accept your silence as consent. Everyone stay close and follow me to the garden plaza."
Their trek through the corridor was cramped, both from personnel and from cargo. The wide windows covering the exterior of the Rayya's boarding zone were sadly lost as they went deeper into the ship. The halls could be considered luxuriously spacious when compared to other starships, which were near universally designed to minimize. Shorter crew usually had an easier time living on a ship, and fewer blemishes on their foreheads.
But where there would have been space, the quarians proved their utilitarian mindset. Most prominently, if something could be converted into storage, it was. The ceiling was imperceptible through the myriad of boxes, tools and supplies stored with thick webbing. The walls proved no better. Boxes were piled high, sometimes taller than Naruto himself and secured to the hull with rope and netting. Every part of their homes were made to serve a practical purpose, even where none was originally intended.
This led to close quarters with the dozens of quarians bustling about the halls. Even as Tali's fate hung uncertainly in the air, life must go on amongst the busy crew. Ventilation needed inspecting, crops needed tending, and so on. But that hadn't stopped the Rayya's rumor mill from running rampant with speculation. Naruto caught several pairs looking Tali's way as she passed before leaning in close and whispering heatedly. Naruto saw Tali tense several times, this was affecting her. He wished he knew what she was thinking.
Captain Kar'Danna led them into an antechamber of sorts with far less clutter. A single quarian was standing at the end in an ornate and well cared for envirosuit. Tali inflated, "Auntie Raan?"
"Tali, it's good to see you again." She turned to their escort, "Thank you Captain. I'll take them from here."
"Yes Ma'am." He went on through the next door. Naruto caught a flash of light in the next room, a flash of green.
Tali approached the older woman and hugged her, which Raan sadly returned. "It's so good to see you."
"You too, child. When we kept hearing of delays, I worried I wouldn't be able to extend your trial any further. The other Admirals have not been pleased."
Tali turned to everyone else, "This is Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay. She's been a friend of my family since before I was born."
Shepard shook her hand, "It's a pleasure. Will you explain the nature of the charges?"
"I'm sorry we could not tell you before, this is a very sensitive matter to the fleet. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy has been charged-"
"Vas Normandy!?" Tali cried.
Shala'Rann nodded, "The Admiralty board, through majority vote, determined it best to have you tried under that name. Given our family connection, I was made to abstain."
Tali explained. "So you stripped me of my ship name? That's as good as declaring me exiled before I even know what my charges are. My father must be fuming over this."
Shala paused, "You'll see once we go inside. As for the charges, you're accused of facilitating transport of active geth units to the Migrant Fleet."
Shepard looked at Tali, "You sent geth to the Flotilla?"
"No! Well, yes, but I only sent inactive parts and pieces, not even complete units. I made sure everything was incapable of reactivating. I was careful, if there was any chance of reactivation I destroyed it."
Shala said, "I'm certain you were, but there's been an incident. You'll learn about it once we convene the trial." She turned to the Commander, "Captain Shepard, Tali'Zorah is now crew of the Normandy, recognized by quarian law, and the accused is always represented by their ship's captain. You must speak in her defense."
Shepard looked to Tali, "Are you comfortable having me speak for you?"
Tali nodded, "I wouldn't want anyone else."
The Admiral nodded, "Excellent, you have some time before the trial begins. Everyone may head into the garden plaza. Shepard, Tali, you will be given time to prepare. Your crew may take seats, but as Captain Kar'Danna explained no one is to leave the chamber."
The doors opened and the team stepped inside a whole new world of color. The rest of the ship must have been shrunk to accommodate a room of this size. The ceiling was so high he'd need a ladder of a dozen shadow clones to touch the top, and it was wide enough the entire Normandy crew could live here together in relative comfort.
But what surprised him most were the plants. He realized he was stepping on grass as he walked to the assembly seating. He wished he could take off these boots and feel it between his toes. The sides of the room were covered in foliage and tall trees. He recognized some of them from his time on Rannoch, the quarians were carrying their fauna with them. This was all the nature these people had left. Their reverence for this chamber showed.
Shepard and Tali proceeded to the front while the rest of the squad searched for seating. There were several quarians already seated near the front, finding a group of available spots near Shepard and Tali proved difficult. Naruto didn't mind, he remained near the back and took one of the many available seats alone. At least, he thought he was alone.
"Hey there!" Kasumi chirped merrily. "This seat taken?"
"Not yet."
"Well it is now." Naruto's eyes trailed Kasumi as she took the seat next to him. He hadn't spoken with Kasumi since their time on the cruiser, but he wasn't surprised. Kasumi always did make herself scarce. Which made him wonder why she came to the trial. He didn't remember her and Tali being close.
Kasumi claimed her spot and crossed her legs, "Welcome back, by the way."
"Thanks, but it isn't for long."
"Oh I know. I keep a vigilant eye on going ons." She turned to him, her eyes twinkling like promising stars, "So, open to a change in career paths?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow, "What?"
"Well you did say you'd help me, remember? I'm going to need your help for what I have planned."
"How will that work while you're part of Shepard's team?"
"Who says I'd stay?"
Naruto looked at her suspiciously, "You're thinking about leaving too?"
Kasumi shrugged, "Not exactly, but I really just need you, not Shep. I wasn't really down for this whole Suicide Mission in the first place. No offense to the rest of them, but I prefer to enjoy the fruits of my labor. So, if you're going off on your own, maybe we could go together. Think about it. With your clones and transformations, and my contacts, target knowledge and skill set, we'd be the greatest thieving pair in the galaxy. I'll even split the take fifty-fifty, because I'm just that nice."
Naruto blanked as Kasumi laid out her proposal. So it wasn't just Jacob. Kasumi was considering leaving as well. It sounded like she might have planned on dropping out from the start. "But you promised to support the mission for Shepard's help."
"Yeah, well, if I find a better deal, I'll move on. And you my friend are definitely better." She got up to leave, "Think on it and get back to me after the trial. I hope you agree, we'd have a great partnership."
Kasumi cloaked and disappeared into the crowds. Another member of Shepard's team considering a quick departure. Was his dismissal the first cracking that would lead to the Normandy's collapse? That may be a little extreme, but just knowing it was a possibility haunted him. Shepard's team was coming apart, just as Miranda had predicted long ago.
Shala'Raan took her place at the top of the podium. Below her stood three quarians in uniquely ornate suits. The Admirals, he realized.
"This trial is brought to order." Shala'Raan began, "Blessed are the ancestors who kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. Keelah se'lai." The prayer echoed through the chamber by the gathered quarians. "Admirals Daro'Xen vas Moreh, Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib and Han'Gerrel vas Neema presiding. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy stands accused of treason. Her Captain, John Shepard, speaking in her defense."
Shepard stepped forward and spoke to the Admirals, "I proudly stand beside my crew. But in her heart Tali'Zorah remains vas Neema, and a proud member of the Migrant Fleet."
"Thank you, Captain. Before we begin with the prosecution, we will open the floor to any Captain who can speak to Tali's character."
Two quarians immediately rose to their feet. "Captain Kar'Danna vas Rayya, requesting permission to speak."
The second spoke. "Captain Cha'Relah vas Neema, requesting permission to speak."
"Both granted." Shala'Raan declared. The two approached the podium while giving Tali a reassuring nod on their way. They were on her side.
The Captain of the Rayya began, elaborating how at an early age Tali had showcased incredible aptitude for technology and engineering and how she was expected to achieve great things in life. He voiced his opinion that given her extensive knowledge on the subject, Tali could not have misjudged active geth tech for inactive materials.
Naruto listened closely until he noticed someone sit next to him. He turned and saw a quarian in a suit he'd never seen before. He turned, "Hey. You're more battle-worn since Haestrom."
The suit was new, but the voice was familiar. "Kal'Reegar?"
"Still breathing. I took leave to see the trial. Glad you made it when you did, I've almost run out. I'm scheduled for a deployment in three days. No details yet, but I'd wager my new suit it's back in geth space."
Naruto tried to split his focus between the Captain's speech and Kal, and couldn't absorb either properly. He changed the subject, "So the Admirals act as judges?"
Kal nodded, "It'll be a simple majority vote once all the evidence is presented."
"What can you tell me about the Admirals?" Naruto asked. Maybe knowing would give him some idea how they'd vote.
Kal tapped his thigh, "I'm not the best person to ask, I just follow orders, shoot what I'm told to shoot."
"Better you than no one."
"True enough. Let's start with Xen. She's the Admiral in charge of our research and development. Pretty sure that's the only reason she got the position. She's as smart as a computer, and from I hear she has the empathy of one."
That didn't sound like a good leader to him. How could she have made Admiral? "Doesn't sound like someone I'd want as a commanding officer."
"Let's just say I wouldn't want her planning my ops. No idea how she'll vote though. Whatever's pragmatic is my guess.
"Next is Koris. He's an odd one. Civilians love him, he was appointed Admiral off of popular sentiment. Not sure if that was before or after people learned about his geth sentiments, but he hasn't been forced to step down. Still brings civilian matters to the other Admirals the others won't touch, so I guess that's his saving grace. He won't be a fan of what Miss Zorah's doing to the geth though, I think his vote is already cast.
"The last one is Gerrel. Don't know why he didn't recuse himself like Raan, he knew Miss Zorah's father longer than just about anyone. Guess he wasn't as close with his daughter, and two admirals won't make a, er, not sure what the word is, but you need three Admirals for a vote to count."
"A quorum." Naruto added.
"Yeah. Anyways, Gerrel's always been a hard-ass. Good military minded man, so he won't take indiscretions like this lightly. I think friendly ties will weight more heavily for him though. We're a social people, those bonds matter. I think he's on Miss Zorah's side."
So a no from geth sentiment, a yes from nepotism, and a wild card. Things didn't look good for Tali just as things were getting started.
The Neema's Captain was just finishing his testament to Tali's character and her time aboard his ship. He'd emphasized her talent and hard work ethic and her dedication to the fleet. He too argued her innocence. As he stepped down Admiral Raan motioned for silence in the crowd, "We may now begin with a statement from the defense. Captain Shepard, if you would-"
"Objection, Raan." Koris piped up, "Before the trial we discovered something we'd like submitted for the record. I've already shared it with the other Admirals."
"Make your statement," She replied.
"I had my ship scan the Normandy for any radiation. They detected something peculiar. Geth signals are being transmitted from inside the Normandy!"
A murmur erupted in the crowd. Naruto spotted Shepard visibly stiffen, he had not wanted them knowing about Legion.
"I confirmed his crew's findings. There is active geth hardware on the ship." Xen stated.
Gerrel agreed, "Shepard, we need an explanation."
Shepard glanced at Tali, who looked solid enough to be a statue. "There is a geth mobile platform currently under my command. Its name is Legion."
Koris crossed his arms haughty, "So the person accused of sending active geth into the fleet is currently traveling with a functioning geth platform! What further proof do we need?"
Tali interjected, "It came to us just before this trail! We haven't encountered the geth since our mission to Haestrom!"
"My, how incredibly convenient." Xen mused.
Raan, who somehow kept her composure, motioned for everyone to be calm, "Whatever the reason, this platform must be examined. Captain Shepard, have your team escort the geth into the chamber. Captain Danna will provide a guard for the geth. It is not to access any restricted spaces."
Xen added, "Scan for any rogue signals. It can't be allowed to transmit."
Captain Danna nodded, "If it does, it will be shot."
Raan went to work trying to settle the shocked crowd. Kal looked to Naruto, "You really traveling with a geth?"
Naruto shifted uncomfortably. Geth took Kal's entire unit, he doubted he'd react well to the news. "We are. In fact, it saved my life not long ago."
"Did it?" Kal murmured, "Good story. Mind if I steal it? Definitely win me a few drinks at the bar."
Naruto snorted, of course Kal would roll with it. "Be my guest."
There was a long wait for Legion's arrival. Squad members had to be suited up, decontaminated, and briefed before they set foot on the Rayya. After a half hour the doors finally opened. Sounds of shock echoed the chamber as Legion entered, flanked by Thane, Mordin and an entire squad of quarian marines. Legion's head turned curiously to observe its surroundings, but a guard quickly barked for it to keep its flashlight forward.
Koris jumped on the situation as soon as Legion approached the podium, "Are you a functioning collection of geth programs?"
"Creator Koris, we are one thousand, one hundred eighty three geth programs." Legion began. It must have been ordered to cooperate by Shepard.
"And are you currently a member of Captain Shepard's team?"
"Negative. We are cooperating with Shepard-Commander, we have not established contact with the Captain."
"Same person, Legion." Shepard said.
Legion flared, "Statement redacted. We are cooperating with Shepard-Captain, also known as Shepard-Commander."
Koris began, "This should be all the evidence we need."
Gerrel disagreed, "Evidence of what, Koris? Shepard stated the platform came to them."
"It proves the accused is working with active geth hardware. That is enough to tie her to the ongoing atrocity."
Shepard stepped forward, "Has something happened that we weren't made aware of?"
Koris paused, "You weren't informed..." He shot an accusing glance at Raan, then turned to address the crowd, "Active geth units Tali'Zorah supplied have seized control of the lab ship operated by Admiral Rael'Zorah, your father."
"What?" Tali's meek reply echoed in Naruto's heart. "What are you talking about?"
Gerrel gave his solemn recounting, "It's as he said, Tali. Geth have seized the Alerai, and have likely killed everyone on board...including your father."
"Oh Keelah..." Tali prayed, turning to Shepard, "We have to go there, Shepard. My father and everyone on board could still be alive!"
Xen looked mildly amused, "We estimate the geth have seventy active platforms. Going against them would be suicide."
"I'm familiar with the impossible. We'll take back your ship and prove Tali's innocence." Shepard boldly declared.
Gerrel nodded, "Very well, we'll grant access to the ship for you and your squad. Bring back any evidence you can find to prove Tali'Zorah's innocence. And if you should fail, your name will be exonerated in recognition of your sacrifice to the Fleet."
Koris turned to him, "That we will discuss later."
Raan gathered the crowd's attention. "Very well. Captain Shepard, you and your team are hereby given leave to depart the Rayya and attempt to retake the Alerai. This hearing will resume upon your return, or confirmation of your expiration."
"Thank you Admirals." Shepard said formally. He called his team to him, including Legion, and began planning their surprise mission. He sent out a call for the rest of the ground team on the Normandy to suit up. All non-combat personnel were ordered to return to the Normandy.
Naruto watched from the nosebleed section. Part of him wanted to get up and join in, but their circle left no room for one more. His spot on the team was gone, his spot filled by the geth who saved him. This was Shepard's team. Would it be enough for his Suicide Mission? Would it be enough to take back the Alerai?
"Aren't you going?" Kal asked.
Naruto turned. He felt his cheeks warm from embarrassment, "I'm, uh, not on the team anymore. I'm not in a good state, as you can tell." he pointed to his eye, even though that wasn't what he meant.
Kal seemed to understand. "Sounds about right. Lotta good cybernetics out there, you'll be back in the field soon enough. I'm gonna give my best to the Ma'am. Keelah se'lai."
"You too." Naruto sighed as Kal went to talk to Tali, and he wasn't the only one. Quarians from the crowd were crowding around her once she was dismissed from Shepard's meeting. Friends, shipmates, everyone from her true home who cared for her. They were there for her in her time of need. He did his best to do the same, but he couldn't bring himself to face her, to wish her luck. She had so many others who were doing that, he wouldn't be missed.
He raised his good eyebrow when he spotted Shepard walking his way. He wasn't of his intention until he was close enough to see his eyes focused on him. He stood, "Shepard."
"Naruto. Do you have a moment?"
Naruto nodded, "Nothing but moments."
"Good. Come with me." Shepard motioned for him to follow and headed back through the chamber. Naruto curiously followed and wondered where this would lead.
~III~
Shepard led Naruto back to the boarding ramp. The pair stepped inside and Shepard closed the door.
"What is it?" Naruto asked. Being alone with the Commander again unsettled him. Shouldn't he be preparing?
Shepard motioned for him to wait, then unlatched his helmet seals and took it off. Shepard was covered in a thin layer of sweat, just enough to make his skin gleam. This couldn't be because of temperature, the suits regulated internal heat and Jacob kept everything running in top gear. This was from stress, Naruto realized. And probably not just from the trial. He wiped his brow with his palm and flicked the liquid to the floor. Naruto made out a vein pulsing in his forehead like a timer counting down.
Shepard motioned for Naruto to do the same. He quickly unlatched his own helmet and set it on the floor. He breathed in the air from the quarian vessel. It stung his nose, there must be some sanitizer in the air. He wondered if it was safe to breathe. Too late now, it'd better be.
Shepard breathed deep and said, "I'm sorry about everything that happened to you." He said with the first bit of sympathy Naruto could remember since his return.
Naruto was thrown off guard by Shepard's admission. "It wasn't your fault."
"My team, my responsibility." Shepard said, regaining his usual air of authority.
Naruto saddened as three familiar animal masks flashed through his mind. It was a bond the two shared, "I remember, Shepard."
"There are some things I'd planned to say on Illium. It didn't play out like I'd hoped."
"What were you hoping for?"
"Your honesty. I've had it with people hiding all the pieces from me."
"I never lied to you, Shepard. I just, never told you."
"It was a lie of omission. I needed to know about this, especially when it became unstable."
Naruto felt a twinge of guilt, "I guess you're right. I should've told you after Purgatory. I didn't because, people don't look at me like they used to once they know. They tend to distance themselves from me, and it takes a long time to close it again."
"How did you think I'd react?" Shepard asked.
Naruto chuckled, "Not like Jack, at least. Like Miranda, maybe. I worried I'd be a weapon again, or treated like an unstable bomb. I've had people trying my entire life to make me a weapon, or lock me away like a prize. I didn't want that here. It liked how the Fox wasn't what defined me."
"And what is it that you want to define you?"
Naruto felt defensive, "Why are you asking all this?"
"Because I didn't on Illium. Now I need to know."
Naruto nodded, that he could understand. Fine, no more hiding his secrets. He was sick of running away. "I only found out about the Fox when I was twelve, that's when I learned why everyone hated me, why they taught others to hate me. So I wanted to prove to them I was more than just a prison for a Fox. But I had a wise old master who asked me that same question. He told me that by wanting to be something more than a jinchuriki, I was doing to myself exactly what the villagers did to me. I was trying to build an identity off of that foundation. If I did that, I'd never escape the Fox.
"So I tried to be something new. I didn't want to be Hokage so people would accept me, I wanted to protect my friends and my village. Then I wanted to protect everyone. I wanted to end the cycle of pain." A hollow pit was forming in his chest as he opened his heart to the Commander. There was nothing left to hide. "And...now I'm here and I've lost that. And I don't know what I am anymore."
Shepard listened to his story with all due consideration. He recognized how difficult this must be for Naruto, and he gave him his peace. But when he finished he didn't hold back either.
"Without knowing, it'd be easier for the Fox to control you." Shepard wasn't asking. He knew.
"Yes."
"And that's why I have to stand by my decision to dismiss you. It's not just about the secrets, it's about keeping the mission and my crew safe from serious internal threats. You've lost your will to fight. Without that, and if I kept you on combat duty, something might happen that we can't recover from. That's more hazardous than anyone or anything else on my ship, and I cannot have that on board.
"So I had to make a call. And I chose to protect my crew, from you and your tenant. It wasn't the best choice, but the best one I had at the time."
Naruto felt a swell of anger rising in his chest, which was swallowed by a hallowed resignation. Shepard was right. It just hurt to admit it.
"Have you decided where you'll go?" Shepard asked.
Naruto paused, remembering Kasumi's offer. It wasn't something he wanted to take, but if he didn't have any other options… "No, not yet." he admitted.
Shepard nodded, "I know it seems like I'm abandoning you, but that isn't what I'm trying to do. You need help, and you need more than either myself or my ship can give you. We need to keep ourselves focused on stopping the Collectors, and everyone on board needs to be dedicated to the fight. But even if I can't keep you on, I can take you somewhere to get help. If that isn't sanctuary, I'll take you to an institute on the Citadel. I'll make sure you're taken care of before we go. I won't forget you."
Help? What did he mean by help? Some kind of institution? That didn't sound like something he'd accept, he didn't want to be locked away until someone else told him he was better. What did him getting better even look like? He doubted Shepard could know. He was still looking for the answer himself.
"But there's something else I need to ask you." Shepard began, "I don't know what we're getting ourselves into retaking the Alerai. They don't know what capabilities the geth have restored. I want to bring all the firepower we can into this one. Even some that's questionable." Shepard looked Naruto straight in the eye. "What do you say? One more mission. For Tali's sake."
Naruto watched the man carefully through his remaining eye. After everything he said, Shepard was asking him to follow him one last time. How could he trust Naruto after everything he'd just said? For all he knew Kurama could break free in the middle of their mission and kill them all. Could Shepard's concern about what they'd face outweigh that risk? Or was Shepard trying to give him one last chance to prove himself? The last he selfishly hoped.
The airlock to the Normandy opened, catching both of their attention. Jacob walked out with a machine pistol and handed it to Naruto. "Ready to go?"
Naruto looked uncertainly at the pistol, then to Shepard. He sighed, "Sorry, I wasn't expecting this to take so long."
Jacob looked confused, "He's not coming."
"He didn't decide."
Naruto blinked as he understood. Shepard had sent Jacob to bring him a weapon because he believed he'd say yes.
Shepard motioned for Jacob to head back inside, "Worry about the others. I'll-Naruto?"
Naruto strode past Shepard and snatched the machine pistol out of Jacob's hands. For a split second he had the impulse to point it at his head and pull the trigger, then shook it off, feeling horrified as one does when the get the urge to suddenly slap or spit on someone, and feel repulsed by it the moment after.
He clicked the weapon to unfold it. He checked the cartridge for a full thermal clip and was pleased to see one there. He aimed the weapon at no one and was satisfied with how it felt in his hand, and stored the weapon on his belt.
Naruto glanced back at Shepard, who was watching him intently. He could say he was doing this for Tali, but that would be a lie. He was doing this for himself, to no longer be a bystander. He was sick observing events unfolded around him with no say of his own. He would not sit around waiting for help to arrive. He wanted to make things happen with his own two hands and whatever motivation he would create for himself. He would find the spark that would reignite his will of fire.
He didn't know what answers he could find on that ship, but it got him moving again, just like when he set foot on the Rayya. It was a start.
Naruto said, "One last time."
Codex Entries
-The Quarian Admiralty
Following their departure, the quarian people have established five admiralty positions on their Admiralty board. While each Admiral is assigned to a vessel, the Captain still holds ultimate authority on the ship's daily operations, though the Admirals are still held in a position of respect while on board.
Admiralty positions are not simple unrestricted line positions among officers. Each Admiral is considered an expert in one of five primary fields of interest to the fleet. This ensures the Admirals are a diverse group with varying perspectives. Because of this, it is not unheard of for a quarian expert inexperienced in command to be appointed Admiral when they are recognized as the best in the required field. There are five Admiralty positions, and so there are five Admiralty specialties. These are: space warfare, exploration, civil engineering, research and development, and target expertise.
The Admiral of Space Warfare commands all heavy combat ships and is the Fleet's foremost expert in war-time strategy and operations. In war, timely decisions that do not allow for a full Admiralty Board discussion and vote are at the judgement of the Space Warfare Admiral. A strong Captain is usually selected. The current Admiral is Han'Gerrel vas Neema.
The Admiral of Exploration is given command of the scouting fleet. These ships are fast and nimble and tasked with scouting the ship's surroundings to provide situational awareness and search for resources. In the days following their exile, they were originally tasked with finding a hospitable world to colonize. They have since abandoned this objective. The current Admiral is Shala'Raan vas Tonbay.
The Admiral of Civil Engineering is responsible for managing civilian affairs. It is their role to monitor all civil matters not directly related to any ongoing war effort and present them to the Board for a proper vote. They are also the head of the Conclave, the formal legislative body of the Fleet. The current Admiral is Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib.
The Admiral of Special Programs oversees all research and development efforts in the fleet. This includes a modest number of research vessels, though their command is among the smallest in the Admiralty. They present potential upgrades and new projects to the Admiralty Board for a vote on manning, resources and funding. The current Admiral is Daro'Xen vas Moreh.
The Admiral of Target Expertise is the leading expert on the quarian people's primary threats. In the decades immediately following their exile this centered on mercenary and pirate bands in their sector. As the Migrant Fleet now houses the largest navy in the galaxy, these are no longer considered major threats. Instead the Admiral of Target Expertise is now the foremost recognized expert on Geth, the primary enemy of the quarian people. Unlike the other Admirals, this position does not have command over any single vessel. They do however have the authority to requisition marines, scientists and vessels for extra-fleet operations, including into Geth space, and to request personnel for their own focused research efforts. They work closely with The Admiral of Research and Development. The current Admiral is Rael'Zorah vas Rayya.
A/N
I'm sure many of you know the feeling when the writing goes quickly, and everything is coming together. These last two chapter have been like that for me. In fact the first draft of chapter 22 is already complete, but I need time to refine it. This one must be perfect to me. The next chapter will be the climax of the arc. Everything has been building to this, and I'm incredibly excited to put it to paper.
I'm keeping the title for my Naruto/Star Wars crossover as The Will Of The Force. It, like the next chapter, will be up next week. I've already gotten most of this first chapter written. I'm excited to share it with you and hear what you think of it.
I was very concerned with how the last chapter would be received, so that you to everyone shared their opinions, good or bad. I'll continue working to improve this story as I continue. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter, and see you all in one week for the climax.