Hello all :) I am so so sorry for my disappearance. It seems like its been ages since I've been active on here. Life has gotten in the way but I will never forget about writing. I appreciate you all who have read my story so far and are sticking with me during this long journey lol. My apologies for the long wait, it won't happen again. I have about 10 more chapters for this story. I also have 3 other stories in the works that will be posted eventually.
Has everyone balled their eyes out from the departure of our beloved Derek Morgan on Criminal Minds? I have. He will truly be missed, but with FF he will forever be apart of the BAU team - so put a smile on. Xoxo
"JJ what do I do?" Penelope whined as she plops down in the chair sitting in front of her desk.
JJ stops what she is doing to lookup at her best friend. She sighs and walks around to the front of her desk and sits on the corner of the edge with her arms folded.
"Honestly," she pauses. "You go home and talk to him." She answered simply.
Penelope just stared at her blonde friend.
"Seriously? That's all you got?" She asks unconvinced.
"Garcie, I am your best friend. And I will always be here for you and try my best to stir you in the right direction. Derek is your life. A big big part of your life. You miss the hell out of him, you know that." She leans down to pat Penelope's knee.
Taking in her words Garcia inhales a long breath before letting the air rush out of her mouth making her blonde bangs fly up.
JJ gives her an amused look knowing she won her case and Penelope had no come back of a comment.
"Hate you." Penelope mocked.
JJ stood up and padded across the room to re open her door. She held it open and faced Penelope with a smile.
Sucking her teeth, Penelope got up to leave and as she was walking through the doorway she heard JJ say in a sing song voice, "love you too."
JJ went back to her desk and took a seat. She reached for her phone and started typing.
"Penelope is on her way home to talk to you. Behave or I'll gladly help her wipe you off the face of the earth."
She pressed send then set the phone down. Sending up a small prayer she hopes Derek doesn't mess things up further than he already has.
The ice cream parlor was full of people surprisingly for the middle of the week, but Derek and Tara found a booth near the back corner slightly away from the crowd. They both took their seats sitting across from one another and began eating their tasty treat.
Halfway into the ice cream sundae, Tara's bites slow down. Derek noticed her change of mood and slowed down his bites as well.
"I know this was my idea, but Daddy you can't take me out for ice cream and expect for me to just pretend that everything is okay." She stressed. "I'm 13, not 3." Tara mumbled as she played with the spoon in her cup.
Derek sighed. He knew damn well ice cream wasn't going to fix anything. He put down his spoon and cup and sat up right before folding his hands in front of him placing it on the table.
"Tara baby, I'm sorry. What I did was the wrong. And there's no right explanation for my actions. I'm going to have to live with this forever and pray to god that you, your mother, and your brother will find it in your hearts to forgive me." He said in a soft serious tone.
Tara processed his words for a moment and eventually looked up to meet his eyes. Derek saw unleashed tears welling up behind her eyelids and he stood up, sliding into the seat beside her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned her head against his shoulder.
His daughter was so broken inside that it broke his heart, but remembering they were in public he held his emotions in check.
Seeing a waitress a few tables down handing out waters, Derek waved his hand for the lady who soon glided over to him on her skates.
"May I have these," he gestured towards the melting unfinished ice cream. "Bagged to go."
"Yes sir, be right back." She said before quickly gliding back to the counter area.
Just then Tara felt the vibration of her fathers pocket and raised up some from his hold.
"Sorry bout that." He said meekly as he pulled his phone from his clip to check it. It was a message from JJ sent thirty minutes ago. He gulped then made eye contact with his daughter.
"You have a case?" She asked
Derek shook his head no then smiled unsurly. "It's time that I go home and face your mother."
Tara sat up right and wiped her face of tears. She began to giggle.
"What?" Derek cocked his head to the side
"It might as well be a case, the danger you're about to face.
He laughed.
Penelope rushed into the house to begin her quick cleanup. The house wasn't a mess, but their master bedroom was. Seeing that Derek's car wasn't outside, she figured she had a little bit of time. Kicking off her heels at the bottom of the stairs, she began her ascent up the staircase.
Kylie who was in the hallway bathroom heard the slam of the door, so she peeked her head out the doorway to see who was coming.
"Penelope? You're home early?" She frowned a bit. "Is everything okay?"
Pen looked in the girls face and a million thoughts zapped through her mind.
"Yes, well no." She began to ramble. "
"Oh my god, is DJ okay?" Kylie feared.
Realizing how she sounded she shut her mouth so her brain could catch up and she could back pedal to not scare the young girl into a frenzy.
Putting her hand on her shoulder to calm her and assure her, "I'm sorry, it's just that... Derek is back."
Kylie's eyes got wide. Penelope wasn't sure if it was a happy wide or scared wide.
"Do you uh, want me to go?" She hitched a thumb towards no where in particular but indicated to leave.
Penelope thought about it for a moment then nodded shyly with a wolfish grin.
"Just for tonight. You'll be right back here tomorrow. I hate to do this to you but I don't know how things will play out once Derek steps foot in this house. I need to speak with him and I don't want you in the line of fire if he truly still isn't okay with this." She rubbed Kylie's stomach referring to the baby that no matter what, Derek had no say about.
Kylie nodded in understanding and gave Pen a half smile. "Not a problem Ms. Morgan, I'll be at Lindsey's." She walked past her to DJ's bedroom to begin packing an overnight bag.
Pen continued on to her room. Once inside she leaned against her closed door and roamed her eyes over her tornado of a room. The morning after Derek left, when Penelope woke up, she went on a bit of a tyrant and threw everything around the room like a troubled teen who just lost a boyfriend. She almost went all the way to ripping wedding pictures if Emily hadn't ran in at the moment to stop her.
Tara pushed the key into the hole and turned it to unlock the front door. Pushing the door open wide Tara stepped inside then turned her head to look at her dad. He looked a little hesitant, as if the home wasn't his anymore. The house was quiet and warm, the scent of vanilla flowing through the air.
Sensing her fathers unsteadiness, Tara made a come here motion with her hand. "It's okay dad. It's home." She said softly.
Reconnecting eyes with his little one, he couldn't help the smile that spread across his lips. She was his Penelope #2 in the flesh. Another god given solace, as she coaxed him into relaxing. He took a step forward and entered the place he once called home.
Tara shut the door behind them. Moving past her daddy who stood in the foryet as if he weren't welcomed, she set down her backpack at the foot of the stairs.
"Mom!" She called up to her.
Derek gave her a look that said "not so loud" which got a chuckle from her because she missed having her dad around.
Penelope inhaled a deep breath to prepare herself for the unbearable. She really didn't wanna do this, but she knew she needed to. They needed to. Opening her door, she walked down the hallway to the railing and peered over it.
Seeing Derek's beautiful face once again made her heart melt but she needed to hold her ground. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours but in reality a few seconds before Derek got the courage to raise his finger signaling "1 min". He turned his attention on his daughter who was looking back and forth between the two of them.
"I'm gonna go upstairs and talk to your mother. You stay down here and tackle your homework." He looks back up at Penelope and sees the worry in her eyes. "And whatever happens up there, know that I will NEVER leave like I did again." He assured his daughter with a kiss on the forehead.
Tara gave him a smile with happy tears that he wiped. She gave her dad a big hug before pulling away and heading towards the kitchen to put away their ice cream.
With each step towards his wife Derek gained more confidence. Waiting at the top Penelope watched him.
"You mean it?" She asked in a whisper once he reached her.
Confused Derek asked "mean what?"
"That you'll never leave again."
His heart shattered and all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and never let go but he wasn't sure he had that right or how she'd respond.
"Penelope I promise you I will never do that again. You are my wife, the mother of my greatest accomplishments. You're my life and I threw that away the day I walked out those doors and got in my truck. And I regret it every second and forever will. I am so so sorry. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair to anybody. I was a coward Penelope, a straight wuss."
Penelope jerked her head towards their bedroom silently telling him to follow her, which he did.
Standing in the bedroom, Penelope leaned against the door. She was speechless, not sure what to say or where to start.
"You left me. I can't believe you fucking left me."
Derek was taken aback. He knew it was gonna go down between them but cursing? Pen never cursed.
"Baby I-"
"No! Do not call me that, Morgan."
The room went silent. In all the years of them being married Penelope never referred to Derek by his last name. When they were best friends she called him that when she was mad at him, but not once while they've been married.
"You know when we were just friends," Derek began, "I'd come home from a case, and after what I'd seen I'd be wrecked. And you, you'd come up to me and wrap your arms around my waist and you'd look me in the eyes. You'd say it's okay Derek."
Penelope's eyes got watery.
"Penelope I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" She wanted to hear him explain.
"You shouldn't of had to say that to me. I should have been saying that to you. I put too much on your shoulders. I made you worry about me constantly, you took care of the team and you took care of me. For the past 16 years you've taken care of our family. Our children. You did that. And you didn't complain not once."
A stream of tears flowed down Penelopes cheeks.
"I just want you to know that I am so proud of you baby, and I love you so much."
Penelope wiped the tears from her cheek. "Then why'd you leave? You were that mad at me for keeping our sons business from you? Derek I-"
"Penelope stop!" Derek interjected. His voice silenced the room. He stood stalk still trying to collect himself. He hated being interrupted and worse he hated arguing with the love of his life.
"You are an amazing women Penelope, truly a goddess. My god given solace that I've almost lost too many times because of my stupid head on decisions." He finished.
Derek swallowed back his emotions though Penelope could see the tears forming in his eyes.
"I really don't wanna argue with you. Not because I don't want you to get your feelings out, no that's not the case baby. I want you to scream and shout and tell me how terrible you really feel, though I can see it all over your features. I hurt you in one of the worst ways and I will make it up to you."
Penelope nodded.
"I know it's gonna take time, you're not gonna just allow me to kiss you to make up, and I know you need answers to why, and I'm willing to explain everything. I'm gonna let you in. But right now can we not do this"
If looks could kill Penelope just slit cuts into her husband's face. Was he avoiding their situation. Here Penelope thought tonight would be the night for them to get it all out and get past it, but no, Derek wanted to skate around things and dismiss it.
She was going to say something when Derek cut her off once again.
"I'm going to be sleeping on the couch tonight, And every night until you want me back into our room with you."
Confused and heart broken Penelope watched as Derek walked towards her at the door. She remained speechless and moved aside to let him leave the room.
He swung the door open slowly then turned back to her before making an exit.
"And Penelope, your husband is home."