Trap-A stratagem for catching or tricking an unwary person.

No-hime and Oichi rarely agreed on anything. One was a schemer while the other was open and honest. However, they both had this odd love of kidnapping Ranmaru and dressing him up in their kimonos, make-up included.

No matter how many times he said 'no', Ranmaru always ended up looking pretty...er.

If getting dressed up wasn't bad enough, the girls wouldn't let Ranmaru change until they decided he could. They'd even drag him around the castle as if he was one of the other ladies.

Nobunaga had seen this and hadn't bothered to step in. Ranmaru wasn't stupid. He knew Nobunaga thought this was entertaining. Anything that threw Ranmaru off his game was entertaining to Nobunaga.

Over time, Ranmaru figured out it was easier to just go along with it. Nobody knew it was him which was both good and bad. Good in that he didn't have to face the embarrassment of running around looking like a girl, but bad in the fact that nobody recognized it was him. They saw him every day, how could they not recognize his face? This was a serious risk on Nobunaga's life. Who's to say someone couldn't just walk right into the castle pretending to work there. Nobody would say anything. That's why Ranmaru made it a point to memorize faces, their names weren't important.

All of this could be worse though. The ladies could have made him sing or dance or play a musical instrument or sew...not that he couldn't already do those things, he just didn't want to, not in this get up.

Lucky for him, they normally sat with the other women and drank tea...and gossiped. Augh, the gossip. How did women do this all day? He knew more about women he'd never met then pretty much anybody else. He was even more disgusted when he started adding to the conversations without even realizing it.

Today was not Ranmaru's day. No-hime and the other ladies had decided to rate the attractiveness of the unmarried men. Not only did Ranmaru feel it was inapropreate for married women to be talking about such things, but the fact that he was being rated himself.

It was awkward to say the least to have women he barley knew talking about him in front of him. The consencus was 'Ranmaru would make a better wife then a husband'. It was hard to keep from speaking up especially when the convertation became centered around Ranmaru's appearence and the looks he was getting from other men.

It didn't take long after that for No-hime to get angry with the convertation and send everyone away.

Ranmaru was thankful to be let go, but this day was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. There were several men he could never look at the same again having heard all the 'attractive' details about them.

"Good afternoon." A man a few years older then Ranmaru blocked his path only a few hallways away from Ranmaru's room.

"Ah, huh." Ranmaru took a step away cursing how he had mastered moving in such a thing.

"I've seen you every now and then, but you always seem to vanish."

"Oh, well, I have my duties to No-hime, she keeps me very busy." Ranmaru was annoyed that he barley have to change his voice, the damn thing was just that feminine.

"You're free now."

"Not by choice." Ranmaru started to walk away.

"Wait a moment, my dear." The man grabbed his arm.

"Let go." Ranmaru growled.

"Just a minute of your time."

"No."

The young man was a bit confused. Though she was beautiful, she didn't act like any girl he'd ever met, but she was in the service of No-hime, so that could explain a lot.

When he gave a gentle tug to pull Ranmaru towards him, the cross dresser easily stood his ground. People had pulled on him a lot, it wasn't hard to brace himself, especially since people usually didn't pull too hard.

"Let. Go. Now." The longer this moron talked to him the longer Ranmaru had to wear this ridicules get up, not to meantion the fact that Nobunaga could find them at any time and though Ranmaru didn't care what his lord did to his admirer, Nobunaga would tease him relentlessly.

"My dear, since you have some free time how about..."

Knowing he shouldn't, but losing all ability to care, Ranmaru gave his admirer a lovely upper cut.

He fell to the floor like a rag doll.

Ranmaru blinked at the man on the floor. "Sir?" He squatted down the best he could in his kimono. "Sir?" He tapped his shoulder. "Sir, are you awake?"

The man was out cold.

"Oops." Ranmaru had punched him unconscious. "That...wasn't suppose to happen." He couldn't lie to himself though. If he could hit someone that hard, he was getting stronger and if he got strong enough, he wouldn't look like a damn girl.

"Well, that's not something you see every day."

Startled, Ranmaru lost his balance and would have fallen over if Nobunaga hadn't caught him.

"Careful." The lord helped him to his feet. "You should be more." He stopped. "Ranmaru?"

Ranmaru puckered his painted lips in annoyance. "Lord Nobunaga, how did you not notice it was me?"

"From the back, you look like the other women."

Ranmaru's face twitched. He was hurt. He could always recognize Nobunaga. He knew the way his footsteps sounded. He always knew what Nobunaga smelled like. There was no way he'd ever NOT know Nobunaga.

"I have to find someone to look after the moron." Ranmaru turned away. "I'll change and then bring you your tea. I hope that is acceptable." He started to walk away.

It wasn't hard for Nobunaga to catch up to him. "I must admit, No-hime and my sister know what they're doing. They always know what parts to accentuate."

"I'm glad everyone else is having fun at my expense."

Nobunaga snaked an arm around Ranmaru's waist and pulled him to his side. "You're adorable when you pout."

"I'm not pouting." Ranmaru informed him. "Pouting is what children do."

"Sulking then."

"I'm not doing that either."

Nobunaga kissed Ranmaru's temple. "Everything you do is lovely."

"Lord Nobunaga, please release me. I would really like to change."

It was a hard decition to make. On one hand, Ranmaru looked very fetching in his kimono and it would be ashame to lose that now, but on the other hand, Ranmaru was visibly getting frustrated which wasn't a very good sign. Even the good natured Ranmaru could be pushed too far. He would never do anything major, mostly just the silent treatment, but the tea he served always tasted bitter.

"Very well." Nobunaga pulled his arm back. "Change if you must and then I would like some warm sake."

"Of course, but what about..." He was trying to ask about the uncontius man, but Nobunaga cut him off.

"He'll be fine. Someone else will find him or he'll wake up on his own."

"Understood, it'll only take me a moment."

I wanted to get Mitsuhide in on this, but I couldn't figure out how to bring him in without being like "Mitsuhide rounded the corner" that just feels stupid and lazy. Anyway, I hope this is enjoyable and not boring or choppy.