Thankyou so much for all the reviews! They really inspired to me to get my ass in gear again on this story! I'm a pretty good deal a head so here's a treat so soon after just posting!

Chapter 21: Melissa

I sighed and stared out at the back yard. Nearing four in the morning, the night was calm and the quiet chirping of crickets was enough white noise to let my mind wander. The house was dark and too quiet to stay inside. The back patio was the perfect escape for my thoughts without having to actually get dressed and leave the house.

Josh had been ignoring me since I got home with Jeff and EJ. I really couldn't blame him either. I had freaked out on him in a drunken rage and then proceeded to disappear for twenty-four hours with another man. Aren't I just the damned sweetheart?

I wanted to talk to him about it; wanted to apologize, but I had no idea what to say. So I apologize and then what? He just forgives and forgets? Not likely. And I wasn't sure that's how I wanted it to play out either. I wasn't one for relationships. Over the years I had two solid, real relationships and look how both of those turned out. My brother would kill Lucas Strattson if he ever saw him again… and then there was Jeff.

There was always Jeff.

I sighed and leaned back in outdoor couch I was sprawled out on; settling in for the long haul.

I hadn't been kidding when I said that ship had done sailed years ago. There was no future for me and Jeff, and I'd never go down that road again. We were toxic together; much better off as friends.

Jeff had given me the green light with Josh. Just two days ago, he had said in his own way that he was cool with it. It didn't surprise me that much; Jeff had always liked Josh, so his approval made sense.

But why was I having doubts?

I was over analyzing this thing with Josh. I should just let it go and leave it alone. Only I couldn't. There was too much going on right now in my life to even try to have a real relationship. Not that we had that. I mean we were just fuck buddies, right? But he had been so clearly jealous Wednesday night at the benefit show when I showed up with Jeff.

Grrrrr! Why the hell did this have to be so hard?

There was too much stress. Meeting my family, starting a new business proposition, the deadline for next month's magazine issue were just a few of problems, but add on top of that the ever encroaching summer concert festival season. But if that wasn't enough stress, I had to open my big mouth and invite my older sister and niece and nephew to come stay with us. When the hell did I have time to hang out with my twin brother, let alone try and have a relationship with his best friend?

So how the hell did I fix the stress over load?

It was simple. It was the only logical answer I could come to. I had to get rid of some of it… if only it meant I wasn't hurting people in the process.

Jake:

Six a.m. and I was wide awake. Four hours of sleep. Maybe? No hangover. Just wide the fuck awake. I groaned and rolled out of the bed. I grabbed a random dirty shirt off the floor and threw it over my head as I searched through the piles for a pair of basket ball shorts. I found a pair of navy shorts near the door, that I quickly stepped into before walking out of my room.

The house was quiet, but that was to be expected. Everyone should be sleeping at this god forsaken hour, but I knew somewhere in the house, Melissa was probably wide awake herself; probably sitting in her office typing away at the computer, thinking up some brilliant scheme to make business run more smoothly. With that in mind, I hit the back staircase, taking them two at a time as I headed toward the main floor.

But Melissa wasn't in her office, nor was she in the kitchen. Not too worried though, I grabbed my pack of Marlboro Menthols off the counter and headed toward the front door. I'd look harder for her after some nicotine.

The front porch was more occupied than I thought it'd be at this hour. Jeff and EJ were both sitting on the top step, on opposite sides of the stairs, leaning against the support columns. "What the hell you guys doing up?" I grumbled to them, not expecting to have company so early in the morning.

They both looked over their shoulders at me and shrugged.

I sighed and quickly lit my smoke as I walked to the right of the door where two chairs were located in front of the front room windows. A room that no one ever went in. I took a long drag off my smoke as I threw myself down into one of the wicker chairs.

The morning was cool, despite the sun already rising higher in the sky. Dew sparkled on the grass around the house and birds chirped loudly in the abundance of trees. Only nature could be heard all around the house and it had me smiling despite the obnoxious hour. The peacefulness definitely beat out listening to the boat engine rumble for days on end.

We sat in silence for a while, each puffing on a smoke, or lighting another when the first finished. I was lost in thought when suddenly Jeff's deep rumble of voice spoke up. "Good day for a bike ride," he stated.

I nodded looking around. There was no breeze and it was still cool enough that we wouldn't be baking in the sun as we rode around. "Yeah, I'm down."

"Yeah," EJ agreed.

A while later after getting dressed and heading out, I was riding my Dyno behind Jeff's Fatboy, with EJ next to me on his Chopper. It had been years since the three of us went riding together, and I was damn glad Jeff had suggested it. Sometimes there was nothing better than the open road and the wind on your face and machine between your legs.

In formation with Jeff and EJ, it was hard to ignore the gapping whole the triangle presented. No longer were we riding pairs with Zetti, instead EJ and I followed behind Jeff. I was still having problems wrapping my head around the whole thing, but I had searched all over town for Mike, and hadn't found a trace of him at any of the usual hang outs.

If he was still alive, he was staying in hiding well.

I followed Jeff as he pulled off into the Starved Rock State Park parking lot. We were quiet as we dismounted and headed toward one of the main trails. It had been a long, long time since I'd been out at the bluffs of the State Park, but it was definitely long overdue.

It wasn't long before the three of us found an out cropping of the bluff, down a dear path from the main trail. The bluff jutted out over the Illinois River, almost a hundred feet down to the smelly, oily looking river below. "Damn…" I groaned as I took a seat on the rock. "I don't remember it smelling this bad years ago."

Jeff nodded. "Yeah it's gotten pretty bad. A lot of garbage barges go through here."

"And it's over run with Asian Carpe," EJ nodded. "They litter the shore line, adds to the stench."

Soon everyone was sitting back, smoking a cigarette while we watched the locks down the river, where the river suddenly dropped twenty feet. The locks made it easier for all boats maneuvering the well used and connected river.

"So about dinner the other night," I started wondering why the hell I was even bringing it up. We were having such a good time too.

EJ glanced over as he took a drag off his smoke. I could feel the tension in the air despite the laid back natural landscape. But it wasn't EJ that spoke. "I've been telling Melissa to tell you since day one," Jeff said.

I looked over at him suddenly, not expecting that answer from him.

"EJ seemed to think you shouldn't know." Well there it was. All laid out on a silver platter. EJ hadn't wanted Melissa to tell me from day one.

"What the fuck dude?" I narrowed my eyes at him, suddenly pissed. "How could you keep that from me? Why the fuck would you make my sister keep it from me?"

EJ didn't look away, but he didn't answer either. He held my stare, only moving to take another drag off his smoke. "I didn't think you deserved to know," he finally answered.

I was suddenly on feet, towering over him. "He's my best fucking friend!"

"And you weren't here for him," EJ answered casually. He barely even raised an eyebrow up at me.

"I was out fishing! There was nothing I could have done about that." I glared down at him, pissed that he still hadn't moved. I could feel my blood beginning to boil just under the surface and I knew that if EJ did stand up and get in my face, we'd come to blows quickly.

"Maybe that's the problem, Parker," EJ drawled, reclining back on an elbow. He glared up at me with such an intense hatred in his eyes I had to pause.

"So that's what this is really about," I sneered down at him, shaking my head. "I should have fuckin known. You're jealous that I found my father when you don't have yours anymore." I knew it was a low blow, but I was tired of him just sitting there, showing next to no emotion.

EJ chuckled and shook his head. Definitely not the reaction I was going for. "No. Not jealous. Just tired of your selfishness."

"Okay, stand up," I all but growled down at him.

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "No. I'm not gonna fight you."

"Yes you are. Because I'm gonna beat your fucking ass right now. You gonna sit there and call me selfish, what the fuck about you, huh? You sit back and ride on my sister's coat tails, getting rich while she does all the work."

And suddenly EJ was on his feet and in my face. Perfect. I threw the first punch and then it was all over.

Melissa:

"Hey, whatcha doing out here?" the deep voice was slightly gravely like the man just woke up. I glanced over to see a messy haired, Josh standing a few feet away with sleep still in his eyes. He was in a pair of basketball shorts and nothing else. Dark hair sprinkled over his chest and downward, disappearing beneath the waistband of his shorts.

I took in his muscled body appreciatively. Just one look at him and I was already starting to doubt my decision. "Just thinking," I murmured, returning my gaze to his face.

There was no emotion showing and that had me worried. Josh was always animated, usually always smiling and definitely always joking. There was something going on with him. He nodded and took a seat next to me. "Seems to be the theme of the morning," he sighed as he looked over at me.

The intensity in his gaze sent shivers down my spine. He was angry, and I was almost a hundred percent positive that it was my fault. "Are you okay?" he suddenly asked.

That was definitely not the question I was expecting out of him. I was thinking more along the line of him questioning mine and Jeff's relationship. That would have made more sense after that had happened in the last few days. "Yeah…why?"

He shook his heads and looked away. I let the silence stretch on, waiting for him to continue. "I realized something in the last two days," he started as he stood up. I didn't say a word as he started pacing around the outdoor living room. I sat still, watching him as he gathered his thoughts. "You know what I realized?" His eyes snapped over to mine.

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. The heat pouring out of his gaze was body numbing. I found myself holding my breath as I waited for him to go on.

"I realized that I don't know you. Not really."

Sucker punch to the gut. For real. I hadn't seen that coming. I opened my mouth to try and deny it, to defend myself, but I was quickly cut off.

"Don't. Because you know it's true. In the last year we've grown closer, or maybe I thought we were getting closer. Yeah, we mostly talked business, but I thought I knew more; the scars, your past. I knew all that before your dad did. I just thought that you trusted me more."

I was going to interrupt him, but was quickly cut off again.

"No Melissa," he shook his head. He paused for second before he continued. "Look, I know we're not together or exclusive or whatever. You don't owe me anything, but seriously Melissa? Not once in the last year could you have mentioned that you were once engaged? Or that you and Jeff used to date? Or the fact that you're raising his kids?"

My eyes flashed as they narrowed at him. I could feel the anger boiling. But that didn't stop him.

"Maybe I'm being selfish, but I think I deserved to know about it. Hear about it from you, not your brother." He stood staring down at me defiantly.

"Josh," I sighed, closing my eyes, knowing how hurt he must have been feeling. He was right, not once had I mentioned any of that. "I didn't think it was that big a deal."

"And that's the problem Melissa. What you don't think is a big deal, really is a big deal to me." I opened my eyes to find him sitting on the chaise lounge three feet from me, staring intently at me.

My breath caught in my throat as I stared into his pain filled eyes. The chocolate brown almost a deep murky black. "You don't understand that I don't like to talk about the past. It's in the past. There's no need to drag up all that old shit all the time. So no, I didn't tell you about being engaged to Lucas, because there's nothing to tell. I was young and stupid. Shit Josh, I was barely nineteen when he proposed! We broke up a year later! I haven't seen him since then!" I took a deep breath and tried to gather my thoughts. This was going to end badly. I didn't want to make it worse by saying something I didn't mean. "We've never talked about what's going on between us. I get that we never had to… but Josh, you're acting like a jealous boyfriend."

He stared across the coffee table at me, his arms crossed over his chest and his jaw popping as he ground his teeth. He didn't say a word.

Silence stretched on while I let him think for a while. God knew I needed the time to gather my own thoughts. It was hard to ignore that he was sitting half naked a few feet from me. Every single muscle in his upper body was taunt with tension. Defined with hard lines and deep valleys, his tan only adding to the perfection.

"And if I said that's what I wanted?" he asked, pulling me back to him.

I sighed and looked down at my lap, knowing that it was going to come to this. "Josh," I trailed off, not wanting to hurt him, but knowing there was no other way.

"No," he suddenly stood up and shook his head. "I get it. I'm not Jeff."

"What?" I sat up straight, wondering where the hell that came from. I knew he'd be upset, but damn was he killing me here. I didn't open myself often, and it seemed like lately I was a wide open book that couldn't close. But that was a low blow.

"I see the way you look at him. How he looks at you. How he'd do anything you asked, no questions asked. You can't drop that kind of loyalty." He had paced away from me, slowly circling behind the chair.

"Josh," I said as I stood up slowly. He was already on the offensive, no use setting him off by startling him. "Jeff has been there for me, since I was ten years old. He's my best friend. But I am not sleeping with him, nor do I have any intentions in doing so!" My voice had risen, though only barely. My control was holding strong, which was surprising for how badly I was hurting.

He shook his head. "We'll have to disagree on that one."

I shook my head in disbelief, and started walking toward the brick wall surrounding the patio, listening to Josh as he kept speaking. "Besides, you warned me already, right? You told me at the beginning, from day one you said you don't do relationships. I get it. You're just like your dad."

Yeah, he was hurt. Throwing that shit in my face was a good go-to defense mechanism; proven to have worked in the past. Only it didn't sting as much as it used to. I still wanted to lash out at him though. I knew he was hurting, but he wasn't seeing the truth either. And the truth was, mine and Jeff's relationship was none of his business.

I stopped when I reached the wall and sighed as I turned back to him. "So now what?" I asked him.

"I'm leaving Monday for Seattle," he answered. Definitely did not see that coming.

"Just like that?" I asked, my mind reeling.

"Jake called Wednesday during the benefit show. He wants to get the boat fishing in time for King Crab. He asked me to run the boat with him."

Now I was really confused because last I heard no one knew where Jake was, or if he was even sober. "What about your Discovery appearances?"

"Scaled back. They understand we need to get boat running if they want us on the show next season." He said everything so calmly and matter-of-fact that I had wondered just how long he had been planning this. Clearly long enough to have already cleared it with Discovery.

I leaned back against the wall and stared at him for a long time, just trying to process everything. I had never even considered the idea that Josh may want to go fishing again. It had been a year since he had last gone, and I had thought he was content running the businesses from land. It just shows how much I really knew. "I never meant for it to end like this," I said softly, searching his face.

His hard features softened a little, his eyes losing just some of that murkiness. Before I knew what was happening, he walked over and invaded my space, pressing my lower body against the hard stone wall, as he molded his half naked body against me. Both hands reached out and grabbed my face, pulling me into a scorching, body numbing kiss.

I latched onto his strong biceps, holding him to me. Needing to feel him against me.

As quickly as it started, it was over. He pulled away abruptly. Just like that he was gone and heading toward the house, nearly colliding with John at the door.

He didn't look back, not even once.

Jake:

"God damn, Jake, you still punch like a girl," EJ moaned from the rock next to mine. We were both propped up, nursing our wounds. Blood was trickling from cuts and scrapes, knuckles were raw and eyes were swollen. Bruises were probably already forming all over our bodies from the good ass kicking we'd given the other.

I had to chuckle though. "Going from the blood pouring out of your nose, I'd say I broke it with my girly punch," I shout out with a smirk.

He laughed too and instantly groaned. "Son of a BITCH!" he yelled.

Jeff sat back, like he had for the duration of the fight, and laughed loudly. "You guys beat out the stupidity yet?" he asked.

"Naaahh," EJ and I drawled at the same time.

Jeff laughed again. "Ain't that the truth?"

We fell into a comfortable silence, each deep in thought. The fight had been necessary. It was long overdue and neither one of us would have able to move forward if he hadn't been able to knock the other around first. "I'm sorry I didn't want Melissa to tell you. I was pissed that Mike had been doing so well up until Kelly left him. He was showing real promise you know? A year completely clean and sober, a steady girl friend, working a real job, everything just went out the window. It just coincidently happened the day you left town again. I know it wasn't your fault, it was just easy to blame you."

I sighed. "But it is on me. If I had called home more, maybe I could have talked to him, you know? Maybe none of this would have happened to Melissa if I had just called more."

"No," Jeff shook his head. "You can't change the truth. And the truth is Kelly was always going to leave Mike. Their relationship was already crumbling before you left. And he was still fighting the addiction. Even more so because he saw it was ending."

"How do you know that?"

"I saw him almost break down," Jeff sighed, falling quiet again.

I nodded, because it was all I could do. We had all seen him almost break down at some point. He had been battling the addiction for years and every time it was harder and harder to get him clean. He had gotten so good at hiding it so we'd stop questioning him. "You think Melissa knows where he is?" I finally asked.

Jeff didn't answer, but his shoulders slumped like he knew the answer. I looked over to EJ to find him playing with a blade a grass, watching his hands intently.

"Yeah she does," I sighed, answering myself, because I had already known the answer. "I wanna go looking for him again," I told them.

Neither one of them made a move. Not surprising. They had to see it coming.

"We could take a ride past the cabin on the way back," Jeff suggested glancing over at EJ. "He might be hanging around there again."

EJ shrugged and looked over at me. "We can stop by the cabin, but I'm not going looking more than that."

I nodded, "Of course not. We'll just make a quick pit stop on the way home," I agreed.

"You know what he did to Melissa is unforgiveable, right?" Jeff said as we all slowly started getting to our feet.

I looked over at him almost shocked, almost not. Leave it to Jeff to always be thinking about Melissa's well being. "I'm sure you already kicked his ass for that," I shot out at him.

Jeff sighed. "I don't want to fight, man. Hasn't there been enough of that today?" he asked motioning between EJ and I.

"He's right Jay. My cousin may have been high and fucked up, but there's no forgiving him what he did to her. She's never done anything to deserve that."

"Trust me, I of all people know what kind of saint my sister is. And you're right, what he did was fucked up, and I will be kicking his ass for that. But forgiveness? That's up to Melissa, and only her. It's not our call to make."

EJ shook his head and bit out a laugh. "You're as crazy as she is, you know that?"

Jeff nodded. "It's too bad you're not around more," he admitted.

Now that shocked me to my core. Jeff had always been closed off about his feelings, usually only opening up to Melissa about anything, but for him to actually admit in his own way that he missed me caused me to shoot a shit eating grin his way. "Aww, now don't get all sentimental on me. People might think you care."

Jeff just grinned and started walking toward the path. EJ chuckled and punched my shoulder. I groaned instantly and clutched where he hit. "Fucker," I groaned.

Jeff and EJ laughed as we headed back to our bikes. I grinned the whole way back, knowing for now at least, all was right in the world again.

I had my boys back.

So that was nearly half the size of the last chapter. Came in around 4,000 words. But I hope you enjoyed this! I've really gotten into writing again. Having a blast and hope to start seeing chapters coming quicker!

Please review and tell me what you think! Love hearing from everyone!