Burke laid in the darkened on-call room of the hospital that practically owned him, staring at the bottom of the bunk above him.
He often found himself sleeping in this particular bunk when he couldn't be with her, when he had to 'rest', because it was the bunk where they found each other.
It was the bunk that he laid in alone after she'd scurried off immediately following their first encounter and swore to himself that he'd be able to kiss her enchanting lips and take in her intoxicating skin any day that would want to.
But now, he wasn't sure what he'd wanted.
He'd become as indecisive as her.
His mind followed the coils of the bunk bed, all linked with each other, all connected, not disjointed like his thoughts.
His heart was overcome by sadness, his body ached to be with her, but his mind.
His mind was just as complicated as hers.
He used to teach the interns lessons by torturing them.
Those interns always ended up doing the worst in the program, save for a select few that excelled and became stars in their own fields.
Then his mind wondered to Cristina working in a different field.
There was no way that she could be a surgeon.
And she'd never do OB. She'd scare the mothers into a precipitious labor and delivery just to get rid of her.
NICU wasn't right. She wasn't the cuddly baby type.
That brought his thoughts to the baby.
She could've told him about the baby, he would've never broke it off with her.
Maybe that's what her issue was. Maybe that's why she was being the way she was now. She was testing him to see if he was going to leave her, if this 'future' thing would really stay intact.
He let out a long exhale and looked at the clock, it had been 6 hours since he'd been in her room, not counting when she was sleeping.
The errant thought that she didn't even care had run through his mind and he continued to study the bottom of the bunk in front of him until the door of the call room flew open to interrupt his flight of ideas.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Meredith stepped into Cristina's darkened room and heard stifled sobs from under the blanket of which she lay and shook her head.
Cristina seemed ever the masochist; too stubborn to tell him she was sorry, too much pride to admit that she wasn't going to be the best surgeon, and too afraid of her feelings to admit that she could be happy just being Burke's wife.
She sat on the edge of Cristina's bed softly, and laid a hand against her shoulder.
"Debbie..." she heard a small groan from under the bed, "I'm not crying, I told you...and I don't need any meds. Just let me be."
"I'm glad you don't need meds, because I don't have any to give." Meredith sighed, pulling the blanket back.
Cristina looked her straight in the face, and there was rage in her eyes, "You are the last person that I want to see right now."
She pulled the blanket back up over her face and Meredith felt as if she'd been slapped.
"You forgave me. Do you not remember the cheesy Cristina, 'Oh, I'm living in the moment.' crap you fed me just a couple weeks ago?"
"I lied."
"No you didn't." Meredith pulled the blanket back down and sat on the edge of it, observing Cristina's tear streaked face. "So you can't be a surgeon- so what. That just means the rest of the interns have a chance."
"Not funny."
"And y'know what, you can be home more often. You could feasibly have a husband and children and not completely screw them up from working all the time." Meredith continued, pressing her luck.
Cristina looked at her, dampened black curls falling from her face, "Since when have I been the one who wanted to get married and have children?" she asked dryly. "Since when has that been my dream? Let me refresh you of my dream; my dream was to be the Chief resident, then the Chief of surgery and to have everyone in the world think of my name before anybody else's when it came to pioneers in Cardiothoracic surgery."
"And I'm oh so sure that Burke wasn't in that dream, that's why you've been living with the man for two years, right?"
Cristina opened her mouth in protest then closed it.
She was right.
Burke had always been in those fantasies that she'd piece together in the call-room late at night when she should be sleeping, but was too excited awaiting the arrival of another patient.
As a matter of fact, she couldn't think of one where he hadn't been a part of the fantasy.
Meredith grinned at her best friend, "See? I was so right."
"Whatever." Cristina sighed.
"Yeah, whatever." Meredith repeated, laying a hand on her shoulder, "He's pretty wounded y'know."
"Who?"
"Burke." Meredith answered, then continued, "His girlfriend has been in a comatose state for a week, has emergency brain surgery again, lives and gets extubated, and then gives him the silent treatment."
Cristina sniffed, "He wouldn't expect any less from me."
"You told him you were going to spend the rest of your life with him before all of these other complications." she chided. "I think he expected much more."
"Whatever...how the hell do you know what I told him anyway? Have you been stalking us?"
Meredith allowed a small smile to creep across her lips, "I pulled a trick from your book."
"Oh?" Cristina's curiousity was piqued.
"I found him in the call room and made a bet with him."
"And he didn't kick your ass?"
"He told me that he didn't hit women." Meredith joked.
"And the bet?" Cristina sighed.
"I bet him that I'd get you talking and get you to stop ignoring him and get you thinking about possibilities for the future instead of moping in your bed and making him feel worthless." Meredith rambled.
"The prize?"
"He'll forgive me." she shrugged.
"Burke would forgive you if I came around? Seriously. I figured it'd take more than that, y'know something like, 'She'll be able to operate after 2 months out and it'll be as if nothing ever happened.'" Cristina guessed quietly.
"That's the part you're not seeing, Cristina...you're worth so much to him that he's willing to set aside his grudges...because he does have every right in the world to hate me...anyway, he's willing to set aside those grudges for you. He wants to be with you. That's all he wants." Meredith rambled, "You're so damn blind sometimes."
"So that's the bet." Cristina was unsure of what else there was to be said.
Her heart began to ache for Burke to be the one in here telling her this, and she was reminded of a time not so long ago where he must've felt the same way.
Left alone and in a bed, his best friend the one coming to see him and keep him company.
Then she felt guilt.
Guilt for making him sit here in silence after him being by her side non-stop for almost a week, doing nothing but staring at her imitation of a vegetable.
"Well...there was one other part to the bet." Meredith suddenly interceded.
"And that is what?" Cristina questioned quietly.
"He said if I could get you so out of the hole that you'll actually kiss him and tell him those three words that you've told him all of 3 times since you've been together, and one doesn't count since you're sleeping, that I could visit whenever I want to." Meredith grinned quietly. "Did I mention that I'm not even beginning to count on that one?"
"You're funny." Cristina dryly replied.
"I thought so." she shrugged.
Meredith stood from the bed, and leaned over to give her friend a semi-hug, "Yes, I'm touching you and you can get over it."
Cristina took in a sharp breath and grabbed her friend's arm, "Don't go yet, Mer...I have to think."
Meredith was taken aback for a second and shook her head gently, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. "Okay. I'll stay."
"Thank you." Cristina mumbled, "I can't do this alone...and I can't..."
"You can't do it alone.
Cristina nodded and closed her eyes, silently beginning to flip through different medical specialties in her head, her heart aching and sad, her body exhausted and her mind trying to keep it all together.
Sacrifices had to be made.
A/N: Here's another chapter, and I have more later, but for now I want to watch a movie. :) Thanks for all the feedback guys, I love you:D