CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Hermione sat in her room many hours later pondering the events of the day. She had sat with Draco while he made the appropriate arrangements to take over the Malfoy family fortune. Utilizing the Floo Network, they had gone together, at Draco's request, while he signed the paperwork. The solicitor inquired as to whether Hermione and Draco were courting and the pair laughed so hard that the solicitor became offended. When they'd returned to Hogwarts, Draco thanked Hermione for her support, but said he needed to be alone. He gave her a rare hug, holding tight for a few moments before releasing her and heading down to the dungeons. Now she was sat on her bed wondering what was going to happen next.

Her relationship with Ron was over. There was no doubt about that. The silver lining to that particular cloud was the letter she'd received from Molly and Arthur Weasley not one hour after Harry had removed Ron from the school grounds. They'd told her that no matter what, she would always be welcome at the Burrow. Family didn't always mean blood and though she'd never be a Weasley in name, she would always be one in heart. It was a weight off of her shoulders that she hadn't realized she'd been carrying, especially since her attempts at finding her own parents were for naught.

She had no prospects of a relationship at Hogwarts. How could she? Between her studies and rebuilding the castle, she was stretched thin. Add into that her friendship with Draco and all that entailed and she had even less time. She was certain that the next time she was at The Burrow, Molly would attempt to set her up with one of her other sons. The thought was laughable, as they were big brothers to her. …except for Charlie. She had such a huge crush on Charlie for the longest time, but would never admit it to anyone. Besides, she knew for a fact that he was seeing a very handsome dragon tamer named Edvard.

The sound of tapping on her tower window roused her from wondering what would happen next. Confused, she walked to the window and threw it open. The owl that dropped a letter on her bed and immediately took flight could only be described as haughty. It glared at her as if to show its displeasure at being sent out on a delivery this late in the evening. Hermione picked up the missive as the owl flew from her sight.

Hermione, the letter began. I hope this letter finds you in happier spirits than those I left you in that day. My wish for you has always been happiness. I have few regrets in my life, but allowing harm to come to you under my watch and in my own home ranks right beside getting my son involved with the Dark Lord for the biggest of them all. I have given you my reasons and it is my hope that someday you will come to forgive me.

I cannot regret the time we had together, nor would I change the eventual outcome, for as much as I love you, there was no way that you could have given me Draco. He has been my light through many dark times and though his mother and I were not a marriage borne from love, I will always hold a place in my heart for her simply for giving Draco to me. After all, it is because of him that you and I first came to meet. Had he not been born when he was, had he not needed to go to Flourish and Blotts that day…

I digress. Narcissa and I have completed a magical dissolution of our marriage vows. The rituals required to do so have left me temporarily weak and maudlin, and hence I find myself unable to resist contacting you. My initial plan had been to simply leave Wiltshire, leave the island, and fade into obscurity with what little pride I have left. But leaving you to not know…

My heart breaks every time I remember your voice and I am not able to be with you. My heart breaks every time I hear your name. My heart breaks every time I think of you, and my heart breaks every time I dream of you. But I am old, or at least old enough to be your father.

I am a selfish man, Hermione, selfish enough to have wanted to keep you for my own and never allow another to set eyes upon your perfection. Selfish enough that when I lost you in 1972, I wanted to rain down fire upon the world just to bring you back. Time may have changed a lot of me, but not that. I will always be selfish and right now that is my driving instinct.

By the time you've reached this part of my letter to you, I will already be well on my way into seclusion. Please don't attempt to contact me. Only two people know my final destination: one of them is me and the other is not you. My most sincere apologies, but as I've said, I'm selfish. I wish to retain the broken bits of my heart and live out my life remembering what we had while I was youthful, vibrant, and untainted by the darkness that the Dark Lord brought into my life.

With all my love,

~L

Hermione read the letter again and again, completely in denial over the words before her, hoping every time her eyes scanned the parchment that the words would change. Somewhere deep inside, she'd hoped that he would come back for her now that he and Narcissa were separated. What a fool she was. There was a headache brewing behind her eyes, so she decided to call it a night. Placing the missive under her pillow, she went to sleep and dreamed of Lucius.

The next morning, Hermione read the letter again, her denial over the words morphing into anger at his cowardice. By the time she found Draco in the Great Hall, she was completely livid. He asked her what was wrong, but when she opened her mouth to answer, she came up short. How could she explain the letter she'd gotten? Oh, I'm sorry, Draco, she thought, but your father owled me to say he was leaving the country, that he loves me, but he's too much of a chicken to be with me. Yeah. That would go over well. She decided to just play it off as women's issues and he immediately left it alone. Most men backed off when a girl mentioned their monthly menses.

They went to class with her anger still simmering on the surface of her emotions. Everyone steered clear of her except for Draco, who was running interference on those who dared to get too close and ask what she deemed to be dumb questions. When Ginny Weasley came to her for relationship advice shortly after lunch, Hermione fairly exploded onto her friend. She screamed about how every relationship she'd ever been in had been a disaster, yelled at the younger girl that even if she did have advice, she wasn't keen on discussing the sex life of one of her best friends, and then when she went to storm off, her bag slipped from her shoulder. The contents spilled all across the Charms corridor but instead of screaming about it like they all thought she would, she broke down into tears. She got to her knees and began picking up her books, parchments, and quills. Ginny and Draco moved to help her, but the rest of the students nearby took it as their cue to leave and not become the focus of Hermione's next emotional outburst.

~*~*~*LMHG*~*~*~

Draco came into supper looking a little green in his face. He sat down across from Hermione, put food onto his plate, but really didn't eat much. She noticed that he looked like he wanted to say something, but every time he went to open his mouth, he would snap it closed and shake his head. Finally, when Hermione was about finished, Draco asked if they could go somewhere private to talk. She agreed, and led him up to the seventh floor.

'I know the school's come a long way,' he said, 'but I seriously doubt I'd be welcome in the Gryffindor Common Room.'

'That's not where we're going.'

They stopped before a blank stretch of wall and Draco understood. The door appeared, and the pair went inside. The room was set up like a small study. There were chairs, a low table, bookshelves, and a hearth. The fire was already throwing off heat, so Hermione sat on the floor behind the table and dug out her Transfiguration notes in order to work on an essay they had due. Draco still wasn't saying much, merely standing near the door and gaping a bit, his mouth opening and closing like a fish's would. She set to work, but after only a few lines, she crumpled the paper and threw it into the fire. Another draft met the same fate mere minutes later, and then a third before she saw Draco move into her line of sight, fury on his face.

'I didn't want to believe it,' he whispered.

'What are you talking about?'

He didn't answer her. He simply held up a folded bit of parchment with a familiar scrawl on it. She swallowed. He knew. She knew that he knew, and evidently, he wasn't too pleased.

'Draco,' she began, getting to her feet and putting her hands in front of her in a motion begging him to wait before he jumped to conclusions. 'Calm down, Draco. It's not what you think.'

'No, it couldn't be, now could it?' he seethed. 'The girl Father loved was his age! His age! Not mine! There's no way!'

'Draco,' she tried again, but he cut her off.

'You don't get to talk right now. My parents divorced. They divorced, Granger! That shit doesn't happen often in our world! Not at all, not ever! This isn't like your world. When people vow to be together, they are until death! Who the hell do you think you are to try and convince my father that you're the girl of his dreams? What are you playing at? Was it a potion? A spell? How'd you do it? How did a mud-'

For the second time in her life, Hermione hit Draco. The echo of the slap radiated around the small room, the stone walls seeming to magnify the sound. He stared at her for a moment, both of them a bit shocked at her actions, and then she spoke.

'Oh no you don't, Draco Malfoy. You do not get to use that word with me! Not now…not after everything…' She began to cry. 'This was never my intention. None of this.'

He was still angry, though his tone was a bit more forgiving. 'Explain this to me. Explain this,' he added, holding up the letter from his father.

'I wonder,' Hermione said, closing her eyes and concentrating. Almost immediately the room began to change. The fireplace stayed, but the table, chairs, and bookshelves disappeared. In the middle of the room, a stone pillar sprung from the floor, stopping at about four feet tall, and holding a pensieve on top. Hermione smiled and pulled out her wand. 'Just give me a minute. You can see for yourself.'

She pulled quite a few memories from her mind, the first being the Battle in the Department of Mysteries and her being knocked back into the cabinet of Time Turners. She then let him see a bit of her conversation with the Unspeakables and Dumbledore, before flashing ahead to meeting Lucius on the train. Allowing him to view the entire interaction, she then bounced him between moments in the Slytherin Common Room, the classrooms, and other areas of the grounds. While she never let him see their more intimate moments, she made certain he understood that they were falling for each other, even despite Hermione's obvious attempts to keep her distance. He saw when Hermione realized she loved Lucius. When Lucius had referred to her as his love outside of the Common Room. Secret smiles. Stolen glances. The conversation after Lucius had taken the Dark Mark. The fight in The Three Broomsticks. Him asking her, begging her, to stay with him. To give him one night…

Draco came up from the pensieve, looked at her, and backed away. 'I need… I need to think.'

~*~*~*LMHG*~*~*~

It took a week before Draco talked to her again. They ate meals at opposite ends of the Great Hall. Hermione had taken to sitting by herself at the end of the Gryffindor table while Draco always came in late and only stayed long enough to shove food in his mouth in a way that strangely reminded her of Ron Weasley. He would leave just as quickly as he arrived and he never spared her a glance.

The morning he decided to speak to her, he came in only a minute after she'd sat down. He sat and stared at her for long minutes, not saying anything, but simply watching. When it became obvious that she was waiting for him, he spoke.

'Time Turners?' She nodded. 'How many?'

'I'm not sure. I only know that the Ministry no longer has any. They were all destroyed that day, during that battle.'

'Was Hogwarts really that different?' At her confused look, he went on. 'You had access to Slytherin House. How?'

Hermione chuckled. 'I must have forgotten that bit. They resorted me. Put me in Slytherin. Shocked me more than I care to admit, thank you very much.'

Draco looked at her, possibly trying to picture her in Slytherin robes. He shook his head, seeming to think better of it, and stared at her again.

'Look,' Hermione began, 'I know it's a lot to take in, but –'

'It is. Unfortunately, having seen for myself from Father and in your memories, I can't deny it. It's unconventional, but undeniable. It just leaves one question: do you still love him?'

She sighed. 'It doesn't matter…unless…' Hermione began to get excited. Her voice and eyebrows ticked up a bit as she spoke. 'Do you know where he is? Do you know how I can reach him? Draco! Please! I-'

'I don't. I'm sorry, Hermione, really I am, but the other person he mentioned in his note to you is not me. I'm guessing it's one of his financial people at Gringotts. It's the only logical choice. I mean, how else would he have means to live?'

'I wish he wouldn't have left,' admitted Hermione.

'Don't worry. We'll find him eventually. He isn't the type of man who can stay in the shadows for long.'