Erik, Christine, Meg, Madame Giry, Carlotta's replacement!!, Raoul,

Can we go on a picnic?

To where, mon ange?

Why, in your little garden beneath the opera house!

Err, I don't have a garden there. Are you feeling alright?

Of course! Hey, where are your multiple masks?

What in the world are you talking about?!

You have a schnazzy black tiled mask, and a freaky black one with giant eyebrows, and then a red one that looks like Mephistopheles, and a clown one, and one that makes you look sort of gay, and then you have a plain one you wear under it all the time!

… Have you hit your head?

ARGHHHHHHH!!! I'm not crazy! You took me on a picnic and you had an adorable little hat, and a walking cane, and you could play the flute, and you dumped rats onto Carlotta after she poisoned me, and then-

I think you should lie down now.

But I don-

Yes, you do want to rest. It'll be good for you.

Bleeeeeh.

Do not "Bleeeeeh" me mademoiselle. You will suffer an unimaginable fate.

Watch me. BLEEEEEEEEEEEEH.

… if you were someone other than Christine, Erik would've killed you by now…

And that's why I love being meeee!!

Erik, why is the girl rolling on the floor?

Daroga! What are doing down here?

I heard jovial laughter, and wondered what sort of trickery you were up to.

You use big worddds!

Yes… I suppose I do. Erik, are you absolutely positive Christine is alright?

Honestly, I have no idea anymore. She was going on about some sort of artificial garden around here, and something about my having… questionable masks.

Questionable?

ERIK'S GAY!!

There is nothing wrong with two men being in a relationship, nor two girls.

But I'm not! *cries* why does everyone think I like men, and not Raoul?! He's obviously queer!

I take offense to that, "angel." By saying that my husband is queer, that's insinuating that I am either a man, or that Raoul is using me as a cover up. I can assure you now that you would be wrong. He loves me very much, almost as much as you do Erik. And another thing, Raoul is not a fop. Yes, he cares about the way he looks, but doesn't everyone? I know for a fact that you have tailored suits made from the finest materials.

Yes, but-

No buts. I'm tired of having myself and my husband picked on by you, and nearly everyone else right now. You would kill for me Erik, and I note that, but Raoul would die for me, and no offense, I think that's demands much more bravery.

Whoa.

Yeah. I'm deep like that.

I apologize, mademoiselle. I had no idea my taunting affected you so deeply.

Yeah, you better say sorry.

Hey, what's up guys?

Have you realized your wife is very intelligent when she applies herself?

Oh yeah. Every morning she reads the paper, and at night we-

Let's not go there, dear.

*blushes* right.

… I'm going to ignore that.

Sassafras!!!!!!

And then it's gone.

A/N I have no idea where the last part came from. I lied. I was reading over the last few chapters, and I saw that I was basing Raoul off of the movie. In fact, I barely used the book, except for some descriptions. So from now on, I'm going to make the characters more like Leroux wrote them.

Yeah... I owe you an explanation. My grandma has N stage Dementia, so it's been kinda hard to be funny. Also, my brother came home from Iraq a few days ago, so I'd been worried about him, and just a lot of other stuff. BUT! I am getting my funny back, little by little. And plus, it's summer! Yay! This means I'm going to try to update my stories as much as possible. :)

Erik: It is a pleasure to see you readers again.

Yeah, he left me to go visit Paris again. :p Don't do that to me again.

Erik: Erik shall do whatever he pleases, mademoiselle.

Blah blah blah. Anyway, I hope you guys aren't too mad at me, because I have some funny, funny ideas now!