Alrighty

Alrighty. I have returned. cheering and applause from the audience Oh, no, please, you're too kind. bow

Okay.

Wow. I just totally forgot what I was gonna say…

…erm, well, type.

OH YEAH!!

Nope. I lost it.

Oh well. Maybe it'll be back by the time I'm done typing the chapter. Which, by the way, is right here:

BPOV

I collapsed onto my bed.

OH WAIT!! Right, I was just gonna say that the people who were here at my house are now gone, and now you all once again have the right to yell at me if I don't update at a speed that is of your liking. ;-) (Damn…I pretty much just shot myself in the foot there.) Okay. NOW here's the chapter:

BPOV

I collapsed onto my bed. The "date" had gone relatively well, I guess. It was fun, but it was too much like hanging out with Angela for it to be considered a date…by me, at least. Jake was probably having a massive erection just remembering it.

Okay, that was mean.

But it's true! Jake and Mike obviously like me (grr). Edward…well I'm not so sure about him. He's still awfully quiet in a not-Mike-ish way when he's around me. He just acts like we're friends, sometimes even acquaintances.

Anyway.

Now that Jake's been checked off the list, there are two people to choose from for my next "date." But before I decide…

Bella: if u 3 one of the guys, who wud it b?

Angela: uhm…bell? Hav u SEEN Edward?!

Bella: rite. k. bye.

Hmm…

MPOV (next day)

Ding!

Huh. A text. Maybe I should get that. Then again, that would require movement, something I'm really not in the mood for right now. Or ever. I mean, I'd have to stand up, walk all the way over to the desk, (other side of the room, people!) pick up the phone, and then actually open it, all just so I could use some overrated, piece-of-crap technology that really isn't necessary, never was necessary, and most likely never will be necessary. I mean, what ever happened to sending letters? I don't know who the bastard was who invented the 'cellular telephone,' but I really do resent –

Ding! A reminder, courtesy of none other than my cell.

Alright! GOD! I'll get up!

I shoved myself up off the couch. I staggered slowly over to the desk and picked up my phone. Before opening it, I stumbled back over to the couch I'd been resting on before this hell-bound text made me get up, something I really never want to do. As soon as I threw myself onto the couch (or, rather, fell onto the couch,) again, I realized I could've just lain down on the bed next to the couch.

"Shit!" I muttered aloud. Then, momentarily forgetting why I'd gotten up in the first place, I dropped my cell onto the cushion next to me and closed my eyes.

…All was peaceful and silent, the way the world should always be, and I was beginning to drift off –

Ding!

"God dammit!" I picked up the phone and began to open it. "Who could this godforsaken text possibly be from that makes it so important –"

Oh. Well, there's her.

Bella: u alone?

Oh, and not only is it Bella, but she's saying something that's probably supposed to be totally innocent but sounds completely seductive and downright sexy.

?!

Mike: yea. y?

Oh, like I care why she wants to know.

Bella: u wanna go swimming w/ me?

Mike: confused it's September…

Bella: yea, but theres a YMCA right off campus and I really need to go 4 a dip. Wanna cum?

YES!! Only more than I've ever wanted anything in my LIFE!

Mike: sure

Bella: k. cum 2 my dorm in…15 mins?

Mike: sure cya then.

Bella: yup.

I could've shrieked girlishly and hugged my seventy-year-old math professor and planted a big one on that hot blonde Jake had seen our first day right then and there.

Obviously I didn't, but it's the thought that counts, people! Jeez…

Anyway.

"Bathing suit…" I muttered to myself, scanning the empty dorm for my suitcase. "Where is that bastard? Ah." I saw the corner, poking out from under one of the beds. I made my way over and pulled it out, then unzipped it. I dug through the small pile of crap that took up practically no space in the suitcase until I found my plain black swimming trunks. It didn't take long. I grabbed my striped rugby shirt and quickly changed.

Then I remembered: I can't swim.

"Shit…"

BPOV

I twisted my hair up into an elegant, ballerina-style bun on my head. Then I put down my hand mirror and walked over to the full-length one. I need to look perfect, I thought. I could very well be going out with my soul mate in five minutes. I took in my reflection, adjusting everything that needed adjustment and tweaking everything that needed tweaking. Finally, I was pleased.

I wore my hair in a bun on the top of my head, allowing a few strands to hang loose around my face. I was clad in a hot pink bikini with white stripes and a little see-through cover-up type thing that fell to mid-thigh. I had on plain silver flip-flops and no make-up. (Hello? We were going swimming!) I looked good, if I do say so myself. And I do. Bam.

Knock knock!

I opened the door.

MPOV

Knock knock! I knocked, which you probably figured out. I was only left waiting for a second, and then Bella opened the door.

I felt my jaw drop, but wasn't conscious enough to close my mouth again. Bella. Looked. HOT.

She was wearing a tiny pink and white bikini that hardly covered anything at all, (but still covered far too much…) Over that was a robe-slash-dress thing that was see-through. Her hair was twisted into some sort of elaborate knot on top of her head but she of course left a few strands hanging around her face…FRICKEN SEXY!! Do you have the slightest idea how badly I wanted to jump that girl right then and there?

Didn't think so.

"H-hey, Mike," she stuttered clumsily. Was she nervous, or just surprised by my reaction to her freakin' sexy…sexiness?

"Hey," I mumbled after tearing my eyes away from her body. (I probably wouldn't have if she hadn't looked so uncomfortable...more uncomfortable than nervous. I don't think she liked me staring at her…ahem… 'female assets'.) "Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Just lemme get my bag," she said, disappearing into her dorm and reappearing seconds later, purse in hand. "'Kay. Ready."

I wonder if there are condoms in that purse… No. Those kinds of thoughts are far from allowed, Mike. Silence from you. We are simply going swimming together as friends. I want to get to know her better, and I think she feels the same way.

Y'know a place where we can get to know each other even better? The bed…lotsa things are revealed when there's nothing to cover you up…

FRIENDS! THAT'S ALL. FRIENDS!

My warring emotions must have been clear on my face, because Bella's expression was worried.

"Mike?" she asked uncertainly.

I shook my head to clear it. "Yeah. Sorry. Let's go," I offered. "Lead the way." She gave me one last skeptical glance before finally deciding to accept my words. Then she stepped out the door, closed it behind her, and began making her way down the hall.

BPOV

As I made my way down the hallway, I couldn't help but picture myself.

And boy, did I look stupid.

Here I was, dressed in nothing but a bikini and a skimpy cover-up, strutting down the hallway of my dorm building. Not only that, though, but I was shaking my hips in a hopefully mesmerizing way and my ass was stuck out at an unnatural angle in an attempt to be sexy. I would've turned around, being the insecure girl that I am, to make sure Mike was following with an awe-struck look in his puppy dog brown eyes, but that would've blown my I'm-sexy-and-I-know-it charade for good.

And I could not afford to blow it. Not now. Not when there was a fifty percent chance that the boy who was (hopefully) following me was the boy I was in love with.

LATER

"Mi-i-ike!" I managed to gasp through my hysterical laughter. "You said you were on the swim team at your high school!" I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt; I was sure I was getting a six-pack.

"Oh, did I say swim team?" Mike asked innocently enough as he clawed desperately at the wall of the side of the pool. "I meant shuffle board team. I was the captain, you know." I laughed even harder. Mike, though his hair was plastered to his face with pool water and he was half-drowning, smiled the brightest smile I've ever seen on him.

And that smile broke my heart. It sent stabs of pain and guilt wrenching through my chest.

Much as I love Mike, his interesting sense of humor, his big brown eyes, his quiet but fun personality, he's not the one.

Which means that Edward is.

Which SUCKS.

Why?

Because, clearly, he's the only one of the guys who's not in love with me.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DRAMA!

Poor Mike. Not only does he not get the girl, but literally NONE of you wanted him and Bella to be together. I guess he's just unloved by everybody. That pitiful boy. Aww, I love you Mike.

Okay. Guess what? It took us many chapters and almost as many author's notes, (yeah…sorry 'bout that…) but we finally hit one hundred reviews! WOOO!! Party at my place! I want you all out here in Orange County for the fourth of July, 'kay? We'll dance till we drop!! Woop woop! Who's comin'?

R&R or you are SO not invited!!