Chapter Twenty-One

I Don't Need Words that Break the Silence

"I love you!" cried Rin, pouring out her heart and soul, finally, after so many years of loving Gumi in secret. She leaned over Gumi on the green-haired girl's bed and searched for answer in her green gaze. But Gumi just stared at her in silence, unsure what to make of it. Rin couldn't find any other words to say, so she simply stared at Gumi, waiting for a response from the shattered girl.

Gumi slowly spoke. "I love you too, Rin," she said. "You're the best friend a girl could ask for."

Rin felt her heart breaking. No. No no no. She wasn't going to be rejected, not after all this time. At least, not unless Gumi knew she was rejecting her. Rin couldn't go back to having her feelings hide away from Gumi, to keeping her love a secret. She shook her head vigorously. "Not like that, Gumi."

Gumi frowned. "Then how?"

Rin stared at her, struggling for words. "L-like, like how boys and girls are supposed to feel about each other."

Gumi laughed, and each laugh felt like a strike to Rin's heart. "You do know neither of us are boys, right?"

"I know that," argued Rin. "But I still—"

"You love Len, Rin," insisted Gumi. "Everyone can see that."

Rin couldn't give up, not now. She was so close. She just had to make Gumi understand that she really did love her, and not in a platonic way. "No, I don't, Gumi. I like Len, like girls like boys, but I don't love him. You're the only one I've ever loved."

Gumi grew more forceful as she shook her head and insisted, "No, you don't. I'm a girl, Rin."

"I don't care," refused Rin. "I love you, Gumi."

"No, you don't," said Gumi forcefully. Her voice grew weak again as she murmured, "Please, Rin, don't tell me you love me, because I know you don't mean it, not in that way. You're just confused right now. There's a lot going on, I understand. You don't really love me."

"Yes, I do!" cried Rin, despite Gumi's request. She had to make Gumi believe her. She loved Gumi, and she truly meant it. Why couldn't Gumi just see? "I love you and only you, Gumi!"

"Listen to me, Rin!" shouted Gumi, closing her eyes and shaking her head, fighting against Rin's grip.

"No, I won't, Gumi!" exclaimed Rin, pushing her back down. "I can't! I love you so much, Gumi! Please, just accept my feelings! You don't have to love me back! Please, just listen to what I'm telling you and know that I love you, and that I feel nothing like that for Len."

Gumi opened her mouth to argue again, so Rin closed her eyes and covered Gumi's mouth with her own, knowing it was the only way to convince her. She felt herself melting into Gumi. It was so different from when she'd kissed Len. With Gumi, it felt so perfect, so right, like it had always been meant to be. With Len, it had been perfect, but it was too perfect. Here, with tears covering their faces and making the kiss taste like salt, it felt exactly right, and it was nothing Len could ever give her.

Rin pulled away, dropping tears on Gumi's cheeks as Gumi stared up at her in utter shock. Rin braced herself for shouting, for Gumi to tell her how disgusted she was, and that Rin was sick, and that she never wanted to see her again.

Instead, Gumi smiled sadly.

"But if you've loved me all this time," Gumi said softly, "and I've always loved you, then what have we been doing all this time?"

Rin stared at her for a moment, trying to decide if she'd heard her right. Then, a laugh escape her lips and her eyes shone with joy. Gumi loved her. She loved her. Gumi loved her, just as Rin had loved her all this time. Rin bowed her head and she laughed, her hair brushing against Gumi's neck.

"Who knows?" she replied, dropping more tears onto Gumi and smiling so wide it hurt.

Gumi laughed with her, and they stood there for quite a while until Rin lifted her head up and stared at Gumi. Gumi's hair was a mess, black smudges from mascara tears had left her entire face sticky, and dark bags had formed under her eyes from all the nights she'd been unable to sleep. Still, she was the most beautiful girl Rin had ever seen.

Rin couldn't control herself as she lowered herself onto Gumi to kiss her again. Their breathing grew ragged as they kissed, too involved in one another to remember how to breathe. Rin's arms ached from supporting herself, but she couldn't feel them anymore. All she felt was Gumi's body against hers. She sucked in a sharp breath between kisses and moved herself closer to Gumi, dissatisfied by the mere centimetres between them. She wanted to be closer, closer, closer, as close as she could get.

Then, Gumi put hr hand between their mouths. Rin froze and stared at her, a question in her gaze. Gumi smiled cryptically and gently pushed Rin off her. Rin moved reluctantly aside as Gumi stood up and left the bed. Rin watched her go curiously, the curiosity intensifying as Gumi started shuffling through a drawer.

Rin busied herself studying Gumi's slender figure. Gumi's waist was tiny and her entire body was well-toned from all the sports she did, and her stomach was flat from a well-planned diet. Her chest wasn't incredibly flat like Rin's, and her legs were long and slender, accented by the black leggings she wore under her jean skirt. Rin could see Gumi's pink bra strap beside the straps of the tight-fitting black spaghetti-strap top she was wearing, and she immediately grew self-conscious of the flowery blue top and jeans that she was wearing. Gumi looked so much more grown up than she did.

Gumi turned abruptly, and Rin's entire face went red. Gumi didn't notice and shook a bottle of nail polish, gazing at Rin to see if she understood. Rin nodded immediately, glancing at the nails Len had insisted she paint yellow. Gumi sat beside her on the bed and took one of Rin's hands in her own. It took all Rin had to sit there patiently as Gumi covered the yellow with green when all Rin wanted to do was kiss her again and again. Gumi smiled at the other girl, noticing her impatience, but Rin couldn't bother to hide it and just smiled tensely at the other girl, struggling to control herself.

After the agonizing minutes it took for her nails to dry, Rin wrapped her arms around Gumi's neck and buried herself in Gumi's kisses. She felt Gumi's fingers fumbling with the edge of Rin's shirt, so Rin pulled herself away for a second. She stared at Gumi for a second, unsure and suddenly incredibly nervous, and Gumi met her with the same expression, too afraid to ask for what she wanted in fear of chasing Rin away. Rin took a shuddering breath and lifted her top over her head. She threw it aside and stared at Gumi, who smiled at her.

Gumi stood up at that moment, leaving Rin wondering, again, what she was doing. Then, Gumi turned the lock on her door, closed her blinds, and shut off the light.

Author's Note: On account of this story is rated T, we'll stop here, and this chapter is thus shorter than the rest. And Gumi's parents aren't home, if you were wondering. Her dad's at work and her mom is looking for a new house for her and Gumi. Len (who has been gone for the last while) is simply sitting alone in Rin's room, twiddling his thumbs (okay, maybe not twiddling his thumbs). Oh, and Gumi's brother is home. I wonder if he's a yuri fan . . . . In my chapter summaries (which is like how I plan the story out), this chapter had the information "They are in Gumi's room, where the two proceed to, uh, you know." I sound so immature . . . . Yay, happy chapter! Right? Well we're still not at the end so obviously it's not gonna be that way for long.