Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or any of the characters. They belong to Hart Hanson and Fox who kindly allow us to play with their toys.
1956JohnDeere50: Are you sure you want to hear Legates inner voice? LOL ;-)
Yenyen76: I had a lot of fun writing that whole Michelle running from Daisy scene. I could mentally picture the faces of the men as she shouted her facts. LOL
Angelbach: No translation needed, I already know what that means, thanks though lol. Maybe, maybe not lol, we'll see if more than Techie and Legates can get away with it. Lol you said stimulated *insert Beavis and Butthead laughs here* Picky, picky we'll agree to disagree about rum ;-) To be honest didn't even think about it until I was halfway through the chapter in Espionage and had to go back to put in that song because it was too funny. I sat there going did I seriously just do that? Yes I did but you know what? I'm leaving it *snicker*
BecksBones: I'm glad you're still enjoying it! I just hope some chapters won't give you indigestion with your breakfast =D.
Thank you for your reviews guys I really do appreciate them.
Chapter 20 - Frog in a Blender
Michelle was still drifting through Legates' thoughts when he heard Brown.
"Hey man, we're going to need fuel," he said to Legates.
"Sarge, we're going to have to hit a fueling point here soon," Legates said without turning around.
"Okay, see what you can find. Preferably something with a bathroom," Booth said, shifting uncomfortably.
Legates snickered and reached behind the seat and picked up Brennan's laptop. When he flipped the lid open, the video automatically resumed.
"Blech, that is disgusting," Legates said, quickly stopping and minimizing the video. Hearing about the surgery was bad enough without having to actually see it.
"What is?" Brown asked, glancing sideways at the laptop.
"Sarge's brain," Legates said. Brown chuckled at his answer thinking Legates was teasing.
"He's not kidding, Brown. That's a video of my brain surgery," Booth said.
"Ick, why the hell would she re-watch that?" Brown said, grimacing.
"She's an expert witness. She was reviewing the surgery to make sure she has all of her information correct," Booth said.
"There's a Royal Farms, whatever the hell that is, here on route 8. It's about three miles ahead," Legates said.
"Got it," Brown said.
They stayed silent for the next three miles and Brown pulled into the parking lot. Legates got out of the Humvee and walked to the back of the vehicle and popped the back open. Legates pulled the prepaid debit card from the back and looked over at Brown.
"You fuel and I'll pay," he told Brown.
Brown nodded and Legates headed towards the store. A cold wind blew over the field behind the store, across the parking lot and into the trees on the other side of the road. Legates shivered in the early morning air. There was something desolate and quiet about the morning here that was borderline creepy.
In DC even this time of the morning there was traffic. Here, it was still and post apocalyptic silent. It was reminiscent of those mornings on his parents farm before the sun rose before the animals woke up. Walking in the door, he was hit by a blast of heat when it opened. Going immediately to the bathroom, he took care of business, washed his hands and left. Hoping to not have to use a bathroom that gross again anytime soon.
Shaking his head, he walked back to the drinks. He scanned the doors and grunted. There was one door of Coke products and they were mostly Coke and Diet Coke. No Mellow Yellow which meant he had to drink Mountain Dew. Blech, he thought. Groaning, he grabbed a Coke and then walked to the coffee pots. He poured himself some coffee and dumped some sugar in it. There were times when living in the north sucked.
Walking to the deli section, he grabbed a sausage egg and cheese biscuit then to the doughnut case. Krispy Kremes were another thing he didn't get. Pursing his lips, he waited for Booth and Brennan to finished then set his stuff on the ledge of the doughnut case. Grabbing a paper, he reached in and got a red velvet muffin and bagged it.
"Okay, what the hell is wrong with this state, Sarge?" Legates asked him with a frown. Booth looked at him questioningly.
"They have three, count them, three doors of Pepsi products but only one of Coke," Legates said, pointing towards the back of the store.
The man leaning near the newspaper racks chuckled, took a sip of his coffee, and went back to staring out the window. Legates looked closer at the older man. He had to be pushing seventy but he was up before sunrise standing in a window at a twenty four hour store. The cashier didn't seem to mind the man being there. He spotted a navy pin on the man's hat.
"Do you know, Sir?" Legates asked the older man. Cocking his head, the elderly gentleman pursed his lips and nodded.
"Pepsi distribution center in Harin'ton," he answered in a gravelly voice.
"Uh, thank you sir," Legates said. He walked up to the register and paid for his items. His eyebrows climbed at the price.
"No sales tax," the cashier said in a bored tone. Legates picked up his bag and walked out to the Humvee.
"Crap, Brown, I forgot to wait for you to finish pumping. Here," Legates said, handing Brown the card.
"Good job, dumbass," Brown said, laughing and taking the card.
The three climbed into the Humvee and waited while Brown went Brown paid and got his own food, he returned to the vehicle. Pulling back out onto route 8, Brown drove the rest of the way to the base. They arrived at the base entrance twenty minutes later. Brennan provided her ID when asked and sat silently observing. They finally pulled through the gates and headed towards the hangers.
After parking the vehicle, the four made their way across the tarmac. The silence was unnerving and almost creepy that quietness from the parking lot of the Royal Farms hung in the air around the tarmac. The darkness still enshrouded the area causing Brown to shiver involuntarily.
Brennan tugged on Booth's arm and drew him to a stop. Booth looked at her and she gestured towards the two lines of men walking silently to the back of the C-17s on the tarmac. Booth looked at her in confusion and she rolled her eyes.
Grimacing, she snapped to attention then pointed to the lines of men again. The light clicked on and Booth snapped to attention. Following his lead, the other two snapped to attention. Brown's face contorted in horror as he saw a flag draped coffin being carried off the plane.
Legates kept his eyes open but swallowed hard his face emotionless. They had seen death in Afghanistan, they had watched the coffins loading but the unloading here in the US made it so permanent. These men were home and being buried. Legates pushed back thoughts of the men he had known that had come home this way.
They stood still, silent and at attention for just under an hour as coffin after coffin was unloaded. Brown looked like he was going to be sick, Legates looked scared and Booth just looked sad. Legates was worried that one day, someone he loved might be standing in the cold morning air watching him being unloaded. If they even got that far but the mental image was firmly imprinted.
He shuddered at the thought. When the last van began to pull away the men standing on the tarmac near the planes, snapped to attention and saluted smartly.
•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•
Michelle stepped out of the Humvee at the Jeffersonian and gave a shiver. A chill had run up her spine and she slung her backpack over her shoulder.
"Someone walk over your grave?" Techie asked with a raised eyebrow. A frown touched her brow and she shrugged.
"Who knows, just got a creepy feeling is all," she replied. She followed the group into the lab and walked up to the lounge. She pulled out her books and sat down on the floor.
"Awww, I don't get a pillow?" Johnson whined from the couch behind her.
"Not today, sorry. I'm falling behind on my studying," she mumbled, delving into her books. As she opened her anatomy book, a note fluttered out.
You shouldn't sleep on your books. It puts red marks on your beautiful face ~ J
Michelle now knew who had turned off her light and tucked her in. Johnson snorted and pulled his hat down over his face. Michelle drifted into a serene, comfortable, place as she studied, the rumbling snore of Johnson gently vibrating the couch on her back.
•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•
As Legates watched the last van's tail lights fade into the rising sun's glow when a sweep of calm washed over him.
"Dr. Brennan?" A quiet voice asked from behind them.
The four of them turned to face the voice. The man standing behind them looked at Booth while asking the question. Legates mentally smirked at the man's mistake. He was waiting for the immediate come back, temporarily forgetting the loss of her voice.
"I'm Captain Morgan," the man said, reaching his hand out to Booth.
"Captain Morgan, I'm Special Agent Seeley Booth and this is my partner Dr. Temperance Brennan," Booth said, moving Brennan in front of him.
Legates saw Booth lean forward near Brennan's ear. The movement was so slight that unless you were looking for it you wouldn't have seen it.
Brennan put her hand in Morgan's and shook it. He looked at her then his eyes shot away from her face. Booth looked over Brennan's shoulder to see her reaching into her bag. When her hand withdrew holding the magna doodle, Booth reached around her and snatched it from her hand.
Legates couldn't hold back the laughter when he saw Brennan pull out her magna doodle and Booth take it away from her as if she were a child. It got even funnier when Brennan crossed her arms and almost pouted.
"If you will follow me please," Morgan said.
Turning on his heel, the Captain walked over to where a jet was sitting. They climbed on board and a few moments later were in the air. Brennan opened her laptop and began clicking and typing. Booth paused when music began to come from the laptop.
I was feeling the blues
I was watching the news
when this fella came on the TV
The music rang throughout the cabin and Brennan's eyes started to water. Booth looked at her trying to figure out what was going on.
"Oh, God, who is playing that stupid song," Morgan growled. Booth looked at Brennan with a raised eyebrow. He, Legates and Brown burst into laughter when the chorus was being sung.
So bring me two pina colodas
I gotta have one for each hand
Let's set sail with Captain Morgan
Oh and never leave dry land
Hey! Troubles I forgot 'em
So bring me two pina colodas
I buried them in the sand
She said goodbye to her good timing man.
Legates was still laughing when she cued up the video and began watching. Looking over her shoulder, Legates watched the video. He was trapped, he wanted to look away because; a. it was Sarge and b. it was really gross but he couldn't. He just kept looking. Glancing over, he saw Brown stuck in the same sort of fascination with the video.
He didn't realize that the surgery was almost two hours in length. When the video ended, Legates sat back and ruminated on Brennan's ability to completely detach from the situation to save the love of her life. Legates was not so sure that if he loved someone as deeply as the two of them loved each other that he would be able to distance himself in order to perform that task.
But then again, he was trained to take out a target. Could he shoot a target who held someone he loved hostage? Could he clear his mind and focus on the task at hand? Yeah, he probably could. So, he mused, it was no different for her, except that instead of breathing techniques she just locked the emotion away at least until it was over. He distinctly remembered her falling apart in the waiting room and passing out from lack of sleep and stress.
When he got off the plane with the others, he groaned. Another Humvee, seriously? There was only three of them. Sighing, he headed to the vehicle with a groan that was echoed by the others. Twenty minutes after leaving the airport, they arrived at the prosecutor's office.
"Hi, I'm James Hammon," the prosecutor said, holding his hand out to Booth.
"I'm Special Agent Seeley Booth, this is my partner Dr. Temperance Brennan, Corporal Legates and Private First Class Brown," Booth said, making the introductions. Legates nodded to the man and stepped back closer to the door. He listened to the conversation but did not comprehend any of it, he could probably deny any knowledge of any material considered secure.
"Mr. Hammon, we are currently investigating something that Francis may have been involved in. We would like to know if it were possible to offer some kind of deal if he gives us useful information," Booth said.
Legates mouth dropped open when Booth's statement registered. Did Booth seriously just offer to let some of the charges drop on the man who had tried to kill him? The man who had gotten him shot in the head? Shaking his head slightly, he shot a 'is he serious' look to Brown.
Brown just shrugged. They missed the rest of the conversation and came back to the conversation when Hammon was on the phone. They stood silently saying nothing, observing until the lawyer hung up the phone.
"Private Francis has agreed to speak with you about your offer. He requests that his lawyer be there. I made the suggestion due to the security nature of your request that the lawyer be there for the offer and leave if he gives you what you are looking for," Hammon told them. Brennan turned and looked up at Booth. Booth looked at her and nodded.
"We want to talk to him. When can we see him?" Booth asked Hammon. Hammon looked at his watch and grunted.
"Eleven o'clock. He's having a meeting with his lawyer at the moment," Hammon said. Legates mentally groaned. What were they going to do for the next several hours? Jeez, he should have brought his ACU's and changed into this later.
"I assume you can amuse yourselves until you speak with Private Francis then?" Hammon asked, twiddling the pen in his hands impatiently.
"Yeah, we'll head over to the Fort and amuse ourselves," Brown said from where he stood near the door. Legates wanted to smack Brown. There was not a lot to do on base, he mentally groaned and rolled his eyes at Brown.
Brennan stood up and Booth put his hand at the small of her back and escorted her out of the office. They walked together out of the building and into the waiting Humvee. The kid behind the wheel raised an eyebrow in question.
"Just take us to the Fort and drop us someplace we can amuse ourselves for a few hours," Legates told him.
The kid put the vehicle in gear and drove away from the lawyers' office. What could Legates do for the next few hours to amuse himself? Mental pictures swept through his mind. Yeah, that wasn't a good idea. That's all he needed was pictures of Michelle bent over in her underwear spinning through his head while sitting near Booth.
•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•
Michelle was ass deep in the human reproductive system when lunch arrived. She saw boxes of Chinese take out and breathed a sigh of relief. She was even happier when she saw Sid's handwriting with her name scrawled across the top of the box. Taking the box, she went back to her studying. Techie flopped down behind her and opened a box of his own.
"You know that stuff in the box, you're supposed to eat it not let it sit to the side while you study," he paused, leaned over her shoulder, "zygotes. Oh, Jeez, really? I'm trying to eat here," he whined at Michelle.
"So, stop reading over my shoulder," she said absently. Daisy had bounced into the lounge and sat down next to Techie.
"Oh, you're studying the human reproductive system? I can help you with that," Daisy said. Michelle winced and tried to think of a polite way of telling the bouncy woman to go to hell.
"Did you know that most men have erections every hour and a half while they sleep?" Daisy said, digging into her food.
Michelle rolled her eyes and flinched when Techie coughed and shifted behind her. His foot tapped her hip trying to get her attention.
"Is she serious?" Techie leaned over and whispered the question near Michelle's ear.
"Unfortunately, yes," Michelle mumbled, her face turning red at having this discussion with Techie.
"Also, a woman's ovulation is not on a set schedule like menstruation. You can predict when you'll ovulate but it takes a lot of time and practice," Daisy chattered. Michelle glanced around and saw the security team shifting uncomfortably.
"Thank you, Daisy, but I think I have this under control," Michelle said, trying to get the woman to shut up.
"Oh, but those books are in fact incorrect," Daisy said, pointing towards the book.
Michelle dropped her forehead into the palm of her hand. Techie patted her shoulder in sympathy before standing up, stepping around her, and leaving the lounge. She glared at his retreating back when she noticed the carton of food in his hand. The bastard had left her in the hands of Daisy.
"Those books don't tell you things like a woman only loses 2-3 ounces of blood during her monthly menstrual flow," Daisy said.
The men sitting on the other couch stood up abruptly and left the lounge. Michelle tried not to burst into tears.
"If you'll excuse me for a moment. I need to use the restroom," Michelle said, standing up quickly and heading down the stairs.
She bolted for the bathroom and after waiting a few minutes, she opened the door and peeked out. Where the hell was Josh when she needed him to protect her from people like this? Seeing Daisy still sitting on the couch, Michelle glanced around and saw Angela sitting at her desk. Bolting from the bathroom, Michelle ran across the lab and into Angela's office.
Angela scooted back in front of her computer screen. Michelle did not see the skype or Brennan on the screen as she darted behind Angela. Angela was about to say something to Booth and Brennan when they saw Michelle run behind Angela.
"Hide me please?" Michelle said in a frantic voice. Legates leaned around Brennan to look at the camera.
"What's wrong, Baby?" Legates said in a concerned tone. He wondered if one of the guys was teasing her or something.
"She, oh God, here she comes," Michelle disappeared and they saw Angela's arm wave Michelle towards the back corner of her office.
Michelle ran to the little wall outcropping in Angela's office and ducked behind it. Silently, she prayed that Daisy wouldn't see her. Daisy came bouncing up to Angela.
"Have you seen Michelle? I was helping her study the human reproductive system when she took a bathroom break. She never came back," Daisy chirped. Legates mentally laughed, poor Michelle.
"I'm sorry, Daisy, I haven't seen her," Angela lied to the bouncy woman.
"Well, if you see her. Oh look, there she is," Daisy said, pointing toward the other corner of Angela's office.
"Michelle, did you know that the average man produces 500 million sperm daily. That amount gets higher in healthy males such as Agent Booth, Corporal Legates and Corporal Techie," Daisy squealed, as she chased Michelle across the lab.
Booth and Legates' faces turned red and they saw Michelle run by behind Angela. Michelle bolted past behind Angela, running past Daisy, making it quite obvious she was trying to get away from the woman.
"Did you also know that 40% of males that masturbate admit to masturbating daily?" Daisy called, still chasing Michelle towards Cam's office.
Hodgins' mouth fell open at Daisy's shrieked masturbation comment. Looking around, he chuckled at the red faces of the CID members on the platform. Michelle locked herself in Cam's office and wondered at what point in her life an autopsy room made a perfect hiding place?
"Poor Michelle. She's going to kill me for leaving her alone with them," Legates said, smirking.
"Legates, that is Cam's daughter and let me tell you, Cam has an evil streak. You should start hiding now," Booth said, licking the icing off his fork.
A moment later, Rowan's face appeared behind Angela. Michelle had locked herself into Cam's office and sat down at the computer. She saw a small window open in the bottom corner of the screen.
"Dr. Brennan, can you please do something about that woman. She is making most of the men in the building uncomfortable screeching about penises, testes and ejaculation. Not to mention her trite facts about masturbation," Rowan growled. The table next to them howled and Brennan tried not to laugh as her face was getting stiff.
Michelle ignored Daisy and hoped that the woman would just go away. Michelle heard Sergeant Rowan speaking with Daisy outside Cam's office door and then a moment later saw Brennan's message to Daisy at the bottom of the screen. Thank God, Michelle thought. Opening a dialogue box, she typed her thanks in big bold letters.
THANK YOU!
Michelle saw Brennan roll her eyes and look over to Booth. Michelle could hear Angela's laughter through the screen.
"I'll let Parks get up with you later. Bren, you need medication on your face and can't talk anyway," Angela said, swallowing her laughter unsuccessfully. Brennan nodded and closed the connection.
Michelle peeked out of the door and saw Daisy on the platform. Leaving the office, Michelle sprinted to the steps and hauled ass into the lounge. Flopping down, she closed her book and opened her food.
Legates looked down at his cinnamon roll and tried not to sweat Booth's last statement about a vengeful Michelle. It's not like he really wanted to be here. He looked up sharply when he saw a man approach the table.
"I have to say thank you. I've not enjoyed having coffee this much in years," he said, laughing. Booth clapped his hand into the man's and shook it.
"Glad to be of service," Booth said, smiling.
The man walked back to his table, still laughing. Legates watched as Booth let Brennan out so she could go to the bathroom. He looked over at Booth when the man slid into his seat. Booth's next words didn't surprise him in the least.
"I want you two in that room with us when we interview Francis," Booth said, pointing his finger back and forth between Legates and Brown.
They nodded in acceptance of his command. Nothing would give Legates more pleasure than to snap Francis' neck if he tried anything. He was slightly unsettled by that feeling. He killed when he had to but he wasn't generally violent by nature. He could only think of two separate times when he felt the need to beat the crap out of someone or kill them.
The first being when a guy that had been abusing a female friend of his. Later, he had dated the girl but it just hadn't worked out. Of course falling off a couch and embarrassing yourself would make things weird, he mused.
The second had been that night in the jungles of Maluku. What kind of asshole did that sort of thing to women? The images of Brennan hanging, Michelle strapped in that chair, and the dead Indonesian girl flashed in his mind.
Shaking his head, he cleared his mind and realized he'd been lost in thought for quite a while. Brown looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Glowering at the man, Legates stood up and threw his garbage in the trash. Minutes later, the Humvee pulled up to take them to the prison.
•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•
Michelle was still picking through her food when Techie walked by an hour later. Snorting, he looked at her.
"Are you still eating or did you just start?" He asked her with a frown.
"If you had been observant on your patrol you would have seen that I've been picking at my food for the last hour. That way if Daisy comes back I'm not studying," Michelle said, grinning at the super observant Ranger's lack of observation.
Techie rolled his eyes and walked off. Oaks rolled over with a snort and his head dropped on her shoulder. Michelle let out a sigh, she was resigned to being Booth's unit's pillow, Michelle picked up her phone. Punching in a message, she sent the text to Tanya.
Entertain me I'm bored.
You are in a building full of hot men and you're bored?
Yep
Michelle stuck her phone up near her shoulder and took a picture. Rowan had seen Michelle do it and laughed. The picture was obviously not a security risk. Attaching it to her next message, Michelle sent the picture.
This is what I'm dealing with.
ROFL okay okay go to scuzzstuff on the internet you can play frog in a blender
Michelle giggled and pulled the website up on her phone. She went through the games playing on where you sold juice and killed birds that kept pooping on your juice stand. Bored with that, she pulled up the frog in a blender.
"What the hell are you doing?" Oaks mumbled into her shoulder.
"Playing frog in a blender," Michelle said, tapping the screen.
She showed him a cartoon of a frog spinning in a blender. The frog was saying 'hey look I'm spinning I'm spinning'. Oaks smacked his hand on his face and groaned.
"You are so not right," he muttered.
She giggled and hit the button all the way on the end of the blender. The water turned red and frog guts sprayed everywhere. Oaks groaned and rolled into a sitting position.
"That is so gross," Oaks muttered, standing up, he left the lounge.
Michelle laughed and started a game of bejeweled. Michelle wasn't getting a large score because her mind kept wandering. That gem was the color of Josh's eyes. That one was the same color as his uniform.
•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•
Legates stood in the cell, his eyes pinned on Francis. Legates was waiting, just waiting for Francis to give him a reason to kill him. Then he did it, Francis lifted his hand and Legates stepped forward with every intention of kicking the man in the nuts.
Hey, might as well earn some brownie points, right? He stopped when Francis held his hands up in a compliant gesture. As he listened to the man spill his drivel his stomach rolled. He would never EVER do what that man did for a piece of tail.
Sex, Francis had committed treason against his country, his commanding officer for that blonde whore. God, there were times when Legates just wanted to vomit. And then to top it all off, he tried to say he never meant to kill Booth. Yeah whatever, that guy was the biggest piece of slime and he hoped that they would fry him.
He knew they wouldn't but he could dream. He honestly couldn't believe that Booth had said yet on the end of he couldn't forgive. Yet? Man, Booth was too good of a person.
They traveled back to the lawyers office in virtual silence. When they reached the waiting room, they took a seat to wait. This day felt like it was going to last forever. Legates would rather be back at the lab patrolling.
At least then he wouldn't have to wear this uniform. Dang it, it itched under his arm and all he wanted to do was scratch that spot and the spot on his lower butt. He really did hate wool. He learned as a child that he was slightly allergic to wool and it drove him nuts. Not enough to do anything but irritate his skin and make him itch. The last time he wore it, he'd had something other than his itchy butt to think about.
Michelle sat staring at her physics book and chewing her lip. She was hoping the book would solve this equation for her but she knew better. Sighing, she leaned over and looked at the equation again. Wilson snorted and then, oh no he didn't.
Michelle's eyes started watering, oh yes he did. Getting up, she walked out of the lounge and leaned over the railing. Techie was walking past and froze.
"It was Wilson," Michelle said before he even had the nerve. She looked up and Techie burst into laughter, her eyes and nose were running.
"What the hell did Sid give him? Oh. My. God," Michelle said in a choked voice.
Men were disgusting, farty, butt scratching, and smelly. She paused and sighed. Women farted too but most of them would hold it in until their eyeballs popped out or leave a fog in the grocery store for the old lady further back in the aisle. Shaking her head, she went down the stairs and walked around looking for some matches. Hodgins, he'd have matches.
"Hey, Dr. Hodgins, do you have any matches?" Michelle called out from the bottom of the steps.
Cam turned and looked at Michelle in disbelief.
"Michelle, what in the world do you need matches for?" Cam asked with the surprise all over her face.
"To burn off methane gas," Michelle said, smiling sweetly.
"Ewww," Cruz said from over Hodgins' shoulder.
"It's Wilson, Cruz, not her," Techie called from the platform.
Cam snickered and Hodgins nodded. Opening the drawer on his table, he pulled out a box of matches and held them out to her. Reaching out, she took them from his hand. Walking back to the lounge, she sat down. Techie walked by chuckling at Michelle sitting there with the matches on the table.
"Don't laugh too hard. If he does it too much I will light his ass on fire," Michelle said calmly, still looking at her book. She sighed and shook her head, men.
•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•
Legates mentally groaned when he realized that they would be spending the night in Kansas. The thought of wearing this uniform for another day made him want to scream. He followed Booth and Brennan out to the Humvee. He huffed out a breath and tried not to groan. The mall, he mentally whined.
"Guys, Bones says that if you can afford undergarments, the hotel she's booking us into has dry cleaning services for your uniforms," Booth told them.
Legates and Brown nodded in acceptance. Well that takes care of that, he'd just buy new underwear and chuck these. No muss, no fuss. He saw the driver's mouth twitch and realized Booth and Brennan were probably having a silent conversation again.
"Are they talking again?" Legates asked without looking back.
"What? No, neither of them said a word," the young man said in a deep bassy rumble.
Legates snorted and looked at the young man, glancing at his name tag. He had to pause and remember back to when he had first seen them together. He remembered how weird their silent conversations had been at the time.
"They don't have to speak with words, Robertson. They're weird," Legates said. Brennan made a snorting noise then rubbed her throat.
"You guys are here for Francis' trial then?" Robertson asked not taking his eyes off the road.
"Yeah, Booth and Dr. B are star witnesses," Brown said.
"Wait, Booth, are you the one Francis shot?" Robertson asked, glancing in the rear view mirror at Booth.
"Yes, I was shot in the back of the head," Booth said. Brennan scribbled and Booth looked down.
"Yes, Bones, I know. The bullet lodged in my parietal bone after cracking my lamboid suture," Booth said, chuckling. Robertson winced and turned his eyes back to the road.
"And they managed to remove it without any damage?" Robertson said casually, turning on the blinker and taking an exit. Legates grinned, Robertson had just made that way too easy and Legates wasn't one to let an easy shot like that pass unnoticed.
"Has to be something up there to damage first," Legates said, teasing Booth with a grin. Booth's eyes narrowed and Legates jumped when a small hand smacked his arm hard. Dang, he'd forgotten about Brennan's defensiveness.
"Ow, Dr. B, that hurt," Legates said, rubbing his arm. Robertson chuckled at the Corporal and quickly shut up when Legates glared at him.
"I had someone special watching over me," Booth said, squeezing Brennan's arm. She let out a soft sigh and squeezed in closer to him.
"Dr. B, glued his skull back together for him," Brown said. Robertson paused and glanced at her in mirror.
"She glued his skull back together?" Robertson asked, his voice laced with a small amount of doubt.
Brennan sat up, crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the floor while glaring at Robertson. Uh oh, Legates thought, this Private was going to get his ass kicked. Now the question was, should he warn the man or just laugh?
"You better be glad she can't talk, Robertson," Legates advised.
They stayed silent and Legates watched as the traffic slid by with ease. After Robertson parked the vehicle, Legates climbed out and followed close behind Booth and Brennan. Brown was just a step to his left. After they entered the mall Booth stopped near the doors, untucked Brennan's hair so it covered more of her face then smoothed it down.
When Booth started walking, Legates sidled up closer to Brennan. She didn't seem to mind and he was glad for it. It made her less likely to try to get away from the three men squeezing in around her. He glanced over his shoulder when he heard Robertson snort.
"Dude, we have security issues with Dr. B and the fact that she's famous doesn't help," Brown told him with a frown.
After a pit stop by the mall directory, Brennan took off. She was a woman on a mission and Legates was going to have to step it up to keep up with her. They went into a men's store and Legates almost cried at the prices on the suits as they walked through them. He and Brown followed Brennan as she flitted around the store picking up items.
She picked up a tie that made his eyes water but he knew it suited Booth to a tee. Her face lit up at the striped socks that adorned the back wall. Legates wondered if Booth actually liked striped socks or did he wear them because Brennan bought them for him. He paused behind her not noticing that they were at the register counter. His face was scrunched in thought when his eyes fell on the magna doodle and he started snickering at the words written there.
"What's so funny?" Roberts asked, looking between Booth and Legates.
"Don't you dare, Legates," Booth said, pointing threateningly at Legates.
Legates grinned at Booth but didn't say anything. Although if a woman as attractive as Dr. Brennan offered him that, he'd be taking out a front page ad instead of trying to keep it a secret.
Booth heard Robertson start laughing and looked over to see Brennan holding the magna doodle over towards him. Booth walked over and clapped his hands over his face with a groan. Legates was grinning at Brennan.
I offered to try on lingerie in Victoria's Secret, at a later date, and let him pay for his favorite
They quickly left the store and headed down the mall. The men sticking with her like glue. She walked into The Loft and Robertson groaned.
"My girlfriend spends for-ever in here," he grunted as he followed them in. Booth chuckled at the kid's grunted comment.
"Bones, isn't really a shopper. Angela has to drag her kicking and screaming. We'll be out of this store in half an hour tops," Booth told him.
Legates snorted and Brown chuckled. No way a woman was out of a clothing store in less than half an hour. Not happening, Legates thought. Booth looked at his watch and grinned.
"It's 2:30," Booth said.
Booth watched carefully as Brennan quickly flitted from rack to rack. When she disappeared near the shoes, Booth moved so he could see her. He glanced at his watch again and chuckled. She came walking towards them quickly, carrying a bag.
"Time?" Booth asked casually, trying not to laugh. Robertson glanced at his watch and his mouth fell open.
"2:45," he stuttered.
"And that includes shoes. Now all she needs is undergarments and bath stuff," Booth said. Legates shook his head, Dr. Brennan was certainly an unusual woman that was for sure.
A/N: Tomorrow there's still more shopping to do...underpants, Victoria's Secrets, mental pictures, caramel, Legates' inner devil, sloppy joes, getting a hotel, personal items, speaking, allergies, coffee, kissing ass, having balls, packing and breakfast.