Shelly's Note: Okay I don't have much homework this week so I'm trying to write while I can

I own nothing, as always

Enjoy

Chapter 21: Dear Agony

Naruto hated how he felt. He hated the look on Sasuke's face when he told him he wasn't ready to be friends. The blond never thought he'd be the cause of such a look. He couldn't help but to let out a deep sigh as he thought about the interaction with Sasuke.

"What's wrong?" Kiba asked as he entered the room, noticing Naruto's look of discontent.

"I talked to Sasuke today," he frowned.

"I can beat him up for you if you want," the brunette smiled.

"He did nothing wrong," Naruto looked away.

"Then what's wrong?" Kiba asked, slightly confused.

"When I tried to talk to him, he told me to leave him alone, saying that if I didn't want to be friends to not talk to him," his blue eyes closed as he sighed.

"Oh," was all Kiba could say in response.

"And it's not like I don't want to be friends, I mean I miss him every day, it's just I don't think I could ever go back to being just his friend, you know?" Naruto asked as he sighed and opened his eyes to stare up at the ceiling.

"I get what you mean," Kiba said.

"It's just how can someone be so amazingly perfect and so incredibly annoying at the same time?" Naruto asked.

"Sasuke is nowhere near perfect," Kiba scoffed.

"I mean perfect for me," Naruto rolled his eyes.

"If you say so," he shrugged. "But you could do better."

"You've never even seen us together," he glared.

"My point exactly, love isn't something to be held in secret if you are in love you tell everyone, I don't care who you are," Kiba said.

"Shut up dog breath," Naruto said as he hit him.

"I'm just saying, he's a singer right?" the brunette asked.

"Yeah so?"

"If he loved you then why don't you have a song about you yet?" Kiba asked.

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked as he sat up straight.

"Why isn't there an I want you back song or an I love you song or an I miss you song about you written by him?" Kiba asked.

"You know what Kiba you should just shut up, he's not the kind of guy to get all mushy and write about his feelings," Naruto said, not even convincing himself.

"We both know if you meant enough to him or if he felt something for you, then there would be a song about you, because that's what he writes about right? We've both heard his songs," Kiba said.

"Go away, I'm going to take a nap," Naruto said.

"You can try to escape it, but I'm right," Kiba said.

"Fuck you," he said.

"Sorry, I'm straight," Kiba laughed.

"Go to hell," he threw a pillow at him as Kiba walked away.

Naruto lay down on Kiba's couch, suddenly questioning if Kiba was right about Sasuke, and wondering why he didn't have a song.

NS

"Hey Sasuke," Suigetsu said, cautiously. The raven didn't say a word, but merely looked up at him. "Look, I know you're mad at me, but I only did it because you're important to me," Suigetsu said.

"I wasn't planning on taking drugs, you should have trusted that," Sasuke said.

"But you are obviously fragile," Suigetsu said.

"Only when the people I trust the most betray me...I thought of all people I could count on you not to," he looked down at the counter he was sitting at.

"Itachi and I care about you and we don't want you to fall back in so we just thought that we'd make sure we knew what you were up to," he sighed.

"I need to feel like I have people in my life that trust me, not like people that are spying on me, I mean Itachi spies on me do I really need that from my friends too?" Sasuke said.

"You obviously still trust us enough to come to us when you're in trouble," Suigetsu said.

"Yes, unlike you guys I trust you, or I thought I did; now I'm not sure if I should. I mean I can trust you to help me with my drug problems, but is that because you're my friend or because you're part of my band?" Sasuke glared.

"Excuse me?" Suigetsu said in disbelief.

"If I weren't the lead singer of the band, would you give a damn about me?"

"You have always been my friend," Suigetsu said.

"Then why would you dare side with Itachi?" he glared.

"I'm sorry, I was worried about you," Suigetsu said and walked away.

NS

Sasuke found himself once again on his roof looking over the city of Konoha. He wasn't sure why he found it so comforting, maybe it was the fact that he felt like no one could touch him, as if nothing was real. The dark haired teen was fed up with feeling, probably because he still thought about his parents and since he had yet to get over their deaths, he didn't feel like he could love.

Sasuke had his guitar on his lap, yet another thing to relax him. He was unsure of what to do. The anniversary of his parent's death was coming up and he knew he didn't want to do drugs and it felt as if he had no one to turn to with Naruto gone and Suigetsu on Itachi's side.

He decided music would be the best idea to get him through the memory of his parents, so he started to play as he looked out toward the direction the graveyard they were buried was in.

Sasuke felt as if he had nothing left within him, that there was nothing left for him to give to the world. He had given his parents, he had given his heart, he had given his brother and best friend because he felt betrayed by them, what else did he left to give? He looked up as he sang as if singing to his parents in heaven to bring him up to heaven with them, that he could die in the city he was born in and join them. However, he knew he wouldn't, because with the things he had done, he wouldn't be going to heaven if there truly were one.

Sasuke knew he had to let the thoughts of death and joining his parents go. He had to fight the enemy within him that told him there was nothing left. He had to rise above anything that may make him not want to fight anymore.

It was agony to be in so much pain, to remember the deaths of his parents. It was agony to want to do drugs, but also to not want to do drugs at the same time. It was agony to be in love with Naruto and terrified of taking any kind of leap that may break his heart, but finding not doing anything would do just that as well.

He was suffering by agony that was growing inside him. He was wondering if it had to be that way, as it seemed like so many other people could maintain normal happy lives, except him. He had to defeat the faceless enemy, the one inside himself, the one that made him fear love and anything associated with it.

His and Naruto's break up was sudden. He'd been dragged down by his parents' death his entire life, and now the breakup was dragging him down. He knew though he had to pick himself up and fight until the end, get over those things dragging him down in order to move on.

Ever since his parents' death, he'd felt the fear of love crawl under his skin. At first, it was just under the surface, but now it runs deep within him and he had thought that Naruto would be the one to cure it. However, he loved Naruto, and he knew Naruto couldn't be the one to cure it if he were to be the one to benefit from it. Sasuke had to fight this, Sasuke had to beat this, before he could say he truly loved someone and therefore he couldn't be with Naruto until he beat it.

Sasuke closed his eyes. He was sick of feeling as if he couldn't love. He was sick of feeling buried by the weight of his parent's death. It had been long enough, it was time for him move on.

He wanted the feeling to go away. He felt pulled by love pulling him down in the sense of down to Earth with Naruto. He felt hate all around him though that made him want to lift up to heaven with his parents. Moreover, when Naruto was gone, he really had nothing left anymore.

He felt like he was going numb. As if there was nothing left to feel. He wanted to get his life back but he wasn't sure how he was going to do that, how he would get past the one thing that plagued his life for so long. If he could move on from his parent's death he knew he could move on from Naruto, or try to win him back.

Sasuke stopped playing and looked out over the city. He let out a sigh as he stared for a moment, suddenly realizing the one thing he failed to do all these years. Sasuke knew what he had to do, it wouldn't be easy, but it was something he'd been avoiding all his life. He decided that he'd talk to Itachi in the morning, for now he was relaxed just looking at the city lights.

TBC...

Song of inspiration: Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin

End Note: As I said this chapter is added in so I'm sorry if it is not one of my best, I didn't really plan to have it I just love the song and felt it kind of fit with Sasuke's struggle to get over his parent's death and also his new struggle with the break up. The next chapter will be a Sixx:A.M. song anyone want to guess which one? Or what will happen?