Mikayla's POV

I hate my life. I hate it. That's all I know. That's all I care about. She left. I told Miley how I felt and she left. Haven't seen her, talked to her, texted her, nothing. Everything I lived for, gone. Some hero I am. I'm nothing. I'm not a hero. I'm just some idiot who thinks she's saving someone, when I'm really just setting myself up for heartache.

I was fooling myself. She never loved me. She could never love me.I'm just something to take up space to her. Teenager? What teenager? I've never been one. I jumped from child to adult for her. All those years people describe as a trying but fun time, the best time of their lives, I never got to live it. So how do I be a teenager now? How do I put six years into a year and a half? Look what I did to my life. Look what I've become. Nothing.

"Mikayla, get your ass out of bed." I hear Mackenzie say sternly. I groan in response. "Mikayla, Christmas is in a week. So you're gonna get off your lazy ass and help me decorate. We're leaving in fifteen minutes to get a tree, so get in the shower, get dressed and meet me in the living room" She says still being stern. I groan again. I hear her pick up something. Sounded like glass… oh shit. I guess I forgot to tell you, I've been depressed lately. Depression can lead you down roads you swore you wouldn't go down. Like I don't know, but alcohol can play a part. Heh heh… "That's it" I hear her say.

I hear the shower start and footsteps. Suddenly my covers are ripped off of me. I groan again but its cut short by Mackenzie yanking off my pj pants, taking my boxers along with them. I quickly sit up ready to cuss her out but that also doesn't go as planned. She takes advantage of me sitting up and pretty much rips my shirt off. Before I know it her arm is locked around my neck and I'm being dragged out of bed and to the bathroom. Under normal circumstances I would say this is hot, but for the time being, it's definitely not.

She shoves me in the shower with her arm still locked around my neck. She holds me under the ice cold water and I do everything in my power to get away. That's not much since everything's spinning. "Turn it off!" I yell. She doesn't listen. She just keeps holding me under. When did she get so strong? Why is she doing this? Does she know I can't breathe?

She kicks the shower knob, turning off the shower and she pins me against the shower wall. Her forearm is against my neck and she's using the rest of her body to hold me there. She brings the glass bottle up to my face and any sympathy that was in her eyes, gone. "What is this" she snaps. I don't answer, I look away ashamed. "Look at me!" She yells pushing her forearm against my throat harder, partially slamming me into the wall. My eyes instantly find hers. "Mikayla what are you doing? You see this? You are better than this!" She says pushing the bottle against my face. I try to grab it away from her, big mistake. Her eyes get dark and something I've never seen before makes its way to her.

She pulls back from me and unscrews the cap. "M-mackenzie…don't" I say thinking she was gonna poor it out. She smirks then it turns into a killer face. She slings it at me and the liquor slaps my skin. It stings as she keeps doing it. She moves forward every time, till she's pinning my on the shower wall again dumping it on me. I'm trying to push her away but she's too strong. "Stop!" I scream at her. "No. This is what you want Mikayla, right? You want to drown yourself in this. So I'm helping you. Come one Mikayla, drink up. You're wasting precious drops." She says in a tone only the devil would appreciate. It keeps filling my mouth but I keep spitting it out trying to breathe. It seems like it's endless but I swear it was almost empty on my night stand. I start to cry, begging her to stop. I choke on it as I try to inhale. It burns my eyes as she keeps dumping it on me. She wraps her hand around my jaw and forces my mouth to stay open. A few muffled cries come out but are drowned out by me choking. I cough hard a few times and fear for my life as I can't get any air. I do the only thing I can do. I fall into the tub crying, then start throwing up. From choking, from being scared, from drinking, from depression, from everything. Its hurts… everything hurts… I want it to just stop… to go away. I heave a few times before calming down enough to breathe.

"Lucky for you, it's empty now. But I'm sure I can find more." She says in that tone again. "N-no… please… stop" I stutter. "Stop? Oh, now you want to stop? I'm not stopping Mikayla, not until you do." She says.

She throws the empty bottle behind her and it shatters against the wall. I jump as a few small pieces of glass hit me. I try to push her away again but she takes that as me not having enough yet. She drags me out of the shower and turns me around locking her arm around my neck again. I hate this. Whatever she's doing to me. I'm scared.

She grabs the back of my neck and pushes me over the sink. She pushes my face against the mirror and holds me there. "Look Mikayla. Look at yourself. Look what you're doing to yourself." She says still in that tone.

I'm sobbing uncontrollably. I never do that. I'm begging her to stop. She won't. She has me pinned there for at least five minutes. I can't look at myself. I'm afraid of what I'll see.

She pulls my head back enough for me to turn my head and look at myself. "Look" She demands. I do. I look in fear of what she might to if I don't. Wow… that can't be me. I don't even recognize myself. "Mikayla where are you?" Mackenzie says softly. Where am I? My eyes widen.

..

I open my eyes and though gritted teeth say, "Miley shut the fuck up and wipe that wise-ass smile of your fucking face!" I yell at her. I never yell at her. She looks like she has no idea what she did. "For two years I let you walk all over me! This is the only way you thank me! I waited! I waited for you! I gave you everything! I stopped my life so you could live yours." I yell. Her facial expression changes. I guess she realized that I'm right. "Miley where are you" I say softly. (chapter 3)

..

I come rushing back from the flash back and really look in the mirror. Mackenzie lets go of me and steps back. I stare at myself in shock. This isn't me. Whoever this is staring at me… I don't know them. That… That's not me. I don't know her.

I lean up of the counter and take one final look at this person. What did I do to myself? Mackenzie is gone. I don't know when she left the bathroom but I know she's not here.

I have to fix this. This… monster… this, thing. I have to fix it.

Mackenzie's POV

Rough? Yes. Hard one her. Definitely. Sometimes it's the only way to get to her. She always helps and shows love to others but doesn't see the girl in the mirror who needs it most. I think it's time she focuses on herself. This is the one time it's ok to be selfish. I can take care of her. But she needs to let me. Mikayla is a strong person. Drinking her life away… that's not her. She's not like that. I honestly think it's because of Miley. Not blaming her but… I think part of who Mikayla is, is in Miley. So when she left. She took that part of Mikayla with her. The strong confident… hero. The hero in Mikayla is Miley.

It's like building a whole new Mikayla. It'll be rough, but she has to do it. And I'm gonna help. I'm gonna be here every step of the way. I'm not gonna let her throw away her life. After all she's done she deserves one.

I know exactly what I'm gonna do too.

I turn to go grab my car keys off the coffee table and am met with… Mikayla. A sober, showered, dressed, clean cut Mikayla. I left her what, ten minutes ago? This girl never stops amazing me. "Hey" She says quietly. "Hey" I say back. I pick up my car keys and just stand looking at her. After a few moments she brings her eyes to mine. "I'm sorry. For everything. You're right… I'm better than that. And… I'd be honored to help you pick out a tree and decorate for Christmas… that is, if you'll still have me." She says. Something I haven't seen in Mikayla before, humility. This humble presence she has… I don't know if it's cute or scary.

"I would be delighted" I say grinning.

"What about this one?" Mikayla asks inspecting a tree. "It's too skinny" I say disliking it. "Jesus Mackenzie we've looked at like five hundred trees and you find something wrong with all of them. Is there no tree that satisfies you?" She whines. "There is, we just haven't found it yet. Now quit whining, keep looking" I say. She groans then walks down another row of trees. "Kenze, what about this one?" I hear her yell. I find her in the next row over grinning and holding a tree. "It's too fat" I say. Her grin turns into a gawk, then a scowl. As I turn around to go back the way I came I hear Mikayla mutter something under her breath. "You're too fat". I turn around so fast it might have started a tornado. I give her a, you're-so-dead look.

She swallows hard then takes of down one of the rows. I chase after her weaving in and out of trees. I see her stop short and I almost run into her. "Mackenzie… look" She says in awe. "It's… perfect" I say eyeing what she's drooling over. The perfect tree. If I wasn't so cold out I would rip my clothes off and make love to it. Wow… I've been hanging around Mikayla way too much.

We both walk over to it and Mikayla frees it from its bindings. She holds it up and grins. "Can we keep it?" She asks like a seven year old. "Fine" I say giggling. "I see you two lovely ladies found what you were looking for" the owner of the tree farm says. "We did. How much?" I ask him. As he's about to reply but stops when we hear Mikayla yelp then a slight thud. I turn around to face her and… she's gone. The tree is on the ground but I don't see her anywhere.

"Can you please get this off me?" I hear her ask muffled. What the…? "Oh god" I say rushing over to the tree. The owner helps me lift it up and when we get it upright, we can't help but snicker at a flattened Mikayla. "Stupid perfect tree" She mumbles standing up. She's so cute when she does that.

"FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!!" Mikayla and I belt out along with the radio. "Four calling birds, three French hens two turtle doves, AND A PARTRIGE IN A PEAR TREE!" we finish together. "That was awesome" Mikayla says turning down the music. "Where are we going?" She asks. "Going to set the tree up" I reply. "Our house is in the opposite direction" She says. I nod and pull onto a neighborhood street. "What are you doing?" She asks. "Going to set up the tree." I reply simply. "Our house isn't down this street" she says getting quiet. "I know" I say pulling up to a house. I put the car in park then turn it off.

Mikayla stares out the window with a hurt expression. "Please don't make me-" I cut her of "Out" I say pointing to her door. She looks at me for a moment with teary eyes then obeys. She helps me get the tree out of the back of my truck and bring it about half way to the driveway before she drops it. I turn back to scold her but sympathy is what bubbles up. She's panicking. "Mackenzie… I-I can't" She says starting to cry. I put the tree down and walk over to her. "Don't… don't make me… please" She says sobbing and starting to hyperventilate.

I wrap my arms around her and she burry's her face into my shoulder. I let her cry on my shoulder for a few minutes before she calms down enough to hear me. We stand in the driveway swaying slightly and holding each other. "Mikayla. No more running. You need to fix this now. I know you. You're a fearless, strong, passionate woman and I know you can do this." I say pulling back to look at her. "You can do this" I repeat wiping her tears with my thumb. She nods and sniffles a few times, then looks toward the house determined.

Not just her. Us. We're going to do this.

Mikayla's POV

I'm scared. As hard as it is to admit it, I'm scared. Not just because of what I'm about to do… but… I'm scared of being scared. If that makes sense. I'm never weak. I'm never vulnerable. I'm always the strong one that you can trust with your life. But now… I find myself being the one who needs someone to trust. I need someone to hold me. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life.

Everything just kind of fell apart after my dad left. All this… all that I'm feeling, is what happened after he left. God I miss him. He was my best friend… and I'm sure in some way I was his. He was friend and my teacher. He taught me how to fix pretty much anything that has to do with cars, he taught me how to fix household utilities, hell he even gave me "the talk". I was a complete daddy's girl. I wish I could say I still am.

He taught me well. Pretty much everything he knew he taught me. He always told it was "just in case". I never thought that "just in case" wasn't where the sentence ended. "Just in case your mom cheats on me, I tell you you're a mistake, then leave" is what it meant I guess. Who would've thought right? But I guess I get it now. He's gone… so now I'm the provider. I'm the strong one. I have to do this. He would've wanted me to.

And so does Mackenzie. I don't know what I would do without her. She's here to hold my hand. Alright… let's do this.

I help Mackenzie pick up the tree and head to the front door. I take a deep breath then knock. I hear the lock click and the door slowly opens. "Mikayla?" She says in shock, but starting to tear up. "Hey mom…"

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Hello again my lotus blossoms. Another wonderful chapter up for you, my loving, patient, caring, forgiving, readers. However, I must admit, I am not feeling the love. 4 reviews. 4. On the last chapter. The anniversary. 4 reviews. Ouch. I almost didn't update because of that.

Anyway, this chapter shows a more vulnerable side of Mikayla that we haven't seen. If you thought she was broken before, then you probably think she's shattered now. No Miley in this one. Sorry. But Mackenzie being the good friend she is really stepped up and took her place in this chapter.

I guess I'm only giving out FOUR shout-outs today.

Lita rocks LBC: You make me laugh. You are quite a master of words… well… curse words but I loved every minute of it. Just breathe in, breathe out. We'll get through this together, haha.

Tomatoes: Easy now my red faced fruit. Interesting face you got going on. All is well. You'll see. Just don't come through the screen and kill me in my sleep and you'll see, I should say.

Croaker: My loyal and faithful reader. I favor your thoughts.

Farmerg: You had me laughing then confused then laughing again. You're such a joy to talk to. I hope this chapter satisfied you.

Welcome to all my new readers.

Ok, reviews! I refuse to update until I get more. More = a lot more than four. Please and thank you.

A.Y.P