Every Word You Said

I walked into my dad's home "office" looking for a stapler. That's what I loved about his job. He always had whatever supplies I needed for school.

"Ooh." I smiled, reaching for a framed picture of mom and dad when they first got married in his drawer. It was framed, but I wondered why he didn't have it on top of the desk. "Cute." I picked up the pictures under it, my gaze stopping on one of a young, frighteningly beautiful young woman that I didn't know.

'I saw her picture.'

It was taken recently and on the back she had written some things. These words made me wonder what she thought she had with my father. She was probably another crazy and obsessed patient of his. But those words still stayed with me …

"Aren't you going out with us?" Paige asked as Jimmy looked up at me, waiting for a response.

"No. You guys go ahead and eat. Have fun, but keep it platonic." I joked, really worried about what was going on with my parents.

'How could you be so careless?'

"Are you still worried about the picture you found? It's probably just one of your dad's clients. My dad keeps a record of his business partners and their history. And your dad's a psychiatrist, so he has to." Jimmy reassured me.

Lately with all of Paige's and Matt's drama, I wasn't able to talk to he and she didn't really want to hear anything that I had to say.

"But a picture? I think I'm going to have to confront him about it."

As soon as I got home, I could hear yelling from my mom and dad. They were speaking in Arabic, which meant that they didn't want everyone to understand what they were saying. It wasn't time for prayer, so I didn't know what to expect.

I listened for a little while before entering.

"What am I going to say to the girls? How can you explain this?" My mother asked frantically.

"Tell them we need some time apart and nothing is final. Nothing's going on." He explained.

"But this woman thinks so. You can't make me the bearer of bad news."

"I'll be back to visit." He answered shortly. Dad opened the front door, walking past me without really noticing I was there.

"Mom, what's going on?" I rushed into the room.

"We're divorcing." My mom handed me the same picture I had seen earlier.

"How could you have done that to us?'

I didn't know what to do or how to respond to my father. He wasn't going to come back. I knew it. Grabbing a sheet of paper and I pen I started to write:

'When I write this letter. I'll send it all back to you.'

Dear "Dad"

You have ruined this family more than you'll ever know. I can't believe I trusted you and believed in you. But you don't even care. Did you ever care? Do you care? Everyday now for the rest of my life, I'll think of you with hatred … of what you've done to my mother more than anyone else …

'And every word you said.'

"They're divorcing." I sat emotionlessly in Jimmy's living room. "I don't think he cared enough to tell us about it." I added, playing with my wedding ring.

"But, he still loves you. You know that Haze."

"But I hate him for making us another statistic and for failing to live up to the image he's pressed upon me since the day I was born." I bit my lip. An adulteress. Like father, like daughter.

"I was loving you like a child yeah.'

How hypocritical was I to say that I hate him and truly feel it in my heart, when I was no better. I had done the exact same thing he was out doing now.

"Honey, there's something I have to tell you." My tears welled up as I tried to stay calm. "But we have to go somewhere first."

"Why are we at Mohammed's grave? Hazel, what's going on?" Jimmy wondered, confused.

"Because … he wanted to be here and he wanted me to do this … when he was alive."

"Do what?"

"Tell you the truth. I'm trying here, okay?" I yelled, falling onto the snow-covered ground. "It's about the baby."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded continuously. "But … she's not yours. I tried to be what my parents wanted me to be and--" Bull shit. I stopped myself it was utter bull shit.

"You what?"

'All the time you were smiling the same smile.'

"Before we got married, right before I took a chance. I had been growing really close with Mohammed. I wanted a relationship with him, but I had you and you're so perfect you--"

"Don't patronize me."

"We had never done anything together before that night. I swear." Tears continued to flow from my eyes. "But I don't know what happened. Everything just seemed right and I wasn't thinking. I knew it was leading up to sex, but I couldn't stop seeing him not--"

"You bitch." Jimmy suddenly stopped breathing.

"But, it wasn't a mistake. Part of me still loves him Jimmy. But I married you and brought you into this, which I should've never done." My lower lip trembled. "And now looking at the lie that my parents have lived for twenty-two years, it seems like maybe …"

"I don't want to hear it. I want to be the one to say it!"

"Then say it. We're both hurting."

'I was loving you like a child.'

"But I didn't right by you Hazel. I treated you like a queen. I did eve-everything for you." Jimmy started to back away.

"No. Don't leave." I pleaded as he continued on, leaving me in the cold.

'I really trusted you.'

(A/N: If this seems a little short and incoherent, it's because I was trying to get this chapter out quickly for you guys. It was originally just supposed to be about Hazel and her father, but I added in the big secret too … which was really obvious. Review. Next is Craig and "Haunted" which was really interesting to write … it kind of overlaps with the first chapter, but you'll see. –NL)