It's Shark Week, my lovely lovelies.

And I move into my new apartment today! Woo!

Enjoy if at all possible. I less than three all of you.

First Person Alice!

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!" I sang as I cooked.

Kathryn, who had just walked into the kitchen, cocked her head to the side at me. "Uh, why are you singing Christmas songs in August?"

I glanced at her. "Because it's the most wonderful time of the year."

She blinked owlishly. "But my birthday is in September."

"Try again, idiot." I sang, stirring the sauce in front of me.

"Are you on your period?" She asked.

I shook my head.

"Uh…" She tapped her chin. "Itachi's birthday is in June and so is yours…" She huffed. "I give up. Why is it the most wonderful time of the year?"

"It's Shark Week, bitch!" I said, grinning and looking around at her.

She laughed. "Is it?" Her smile widened. "Which sharks?"

"Mine and the wild ones." I told her. "Duh."

"Do they know?" She wondered.

I shook my head and laughed manically. "Not yet. But they will."

Third Person!

Kisame eyed Alice warily as she hummed the Jaws theme to herself as she cleaned the living room. He looked at Itachi who was standing beside him. "Are you as afraid as I am?"

Itachi glanced at his blue partner for a moment before rolling his eyes. "If she does anything to you, the worst it could be is biting you. I do not know what you have to be afraid of."

Kisame paused as he considered his words. "You're right." He grinned a second later. "Hey Squirt, what are you humming for?"

Alice paused in cleaning and looked up at Kisame. "Hey Sharkman."

He stared. "Hi?"

Alice tossed her towel behind her and skipped over to Kisame, glomping him when she reached him. "Are you aware of what this week signifies?"

He shook his head slowly, watching her cautiously.

She grinned up at him. "It's Shark Week."

Itachi introduced his palm to his forehead.

Alice released Kisame spectacularly and punched the air. "This is the week dedicated to two of the most important males in my life. This week emphases the fishy majesty, power, instincts, and absolute perfection of my boys!" She turned to beam at Kisame. "It gives me an excuse to spoil this shit out of you and Tibby and no one can tell me not to! I can talk about how incredible you and my baby are without it seeming as weird as it usually would!"

Itachi cocked his head to the side. "And has anything ever stopped you from doing that before? Since when has the opinions of others ever hindered you from doing exactly what you wanted?"

"Hush, Comadreja. Weasel Week is in June, not right now." Alice told him, putting her finger to his lips.

Itachi rolled his eyes while Kisame simply started chuckling.

The giant missing Mist-nin rumpled Alice's hair. "I love you too, Alice."

Alice made a purring noise before she darted away from Kisame. She jumped over the coffee table, grabbed her rag and then ran out of the room, singing the Jaws theme as loud as possible.

"She gets too hyper during Shark Week." Itachi said.

Kisame chuckled. "Yeah she does."

Kakuzu looked up from counting his money when he heard a familiar tune being sung in an ominous voice. He got up from his desk and poked his head out of his bedroom, looking down the hallway just as Alice ran by him with a rag in her hands. He blinked owlishly and followed after her, noticing Hidan was also looking after Alice from his bedroom.

Hidan, however, did not look confused as he had a deadpan expression on his face.

"Uh?" Kakuzu began. "What is she doing?"

Hidan rolled his eyes. "It must be fucking Shark Week."

Kakuzu sighed heavily as his partner disappeared into his bedroom and the miser entered his own. "I see."

Oh how he hated Shark Week.

Deidara walked into the kitchen only to jump when something solid crashed into his face. He froze as the cool and slightly damp object slid off his face and fell to the ground with a smack. He looked down at it, noticing it was a bag of chocolate icing, before looking up at the individual who launched it at him.

Alice was still standing in her launching stance, a purely manic grin on her face that made Deidara pause in snapping at her. "Alice un?"

Alice cackled madly and turned around to cut stuff up with a giant knife that she should not be allowed to handle.

Deidara stared at her, utterly confused. He jumped when someone stopped in front of him and he looked down to see his partner bending over to pick up the icing boredly. "Danna, un?"

Sasori carried the icing over to Alice and set it down beside her without a word before returning to the kitchen table where he was working on puppet designs.

"What the fuck, yeah?" Deidara demanded.

Sasori glared at Deidara when Alice stopped chopping stuff and he motioned for Deidara to remain silent for a moment until the cutting resumed and he sighed in slight relief. After making sure that Alice was focused on her cooking, he looked at his blond partner. "It's Shark Week."

"Shit." Deidara said. "Already, un?"

Sasori sighed. "Yep."

"It feels like Blood Week just ended, yeah. I'm so sick of Hidan I could puke, un."" Deidara whined.

"At least Shark Week has programs dedicated to sharks to occupy her time so she'll be distracted for a while by the TV." Sasori stated.

Deidara nodded. "That's true." He looked at Alice. "What is she making, anyways?"

Sasori glanced at him. "Do you really want to know?"

"Should I be scared, un?" Deidara wondered.

Sasori shrugged. "She's making a mountain of sweets for Tiburon and basically the entire ocean for Kisame aside from Shark-fin soup."

Deidara sighed. "Seafood."

"It's been a while since she's made any." Sasori mused. "I think she was planning ahead."

"Thank Pein, un." Deidara mumbled. "Why isn't Itachi restraining her like he usually does?"

"She's making him sweets." Sasori sighed.

Deidara slumped. "Damn Uchiha, yeah."

"I am so glad we aren't in Konoha for this…" Tiburon sighed. "I mean, I love my Mom, but her obsession with Shark Week isn't healthy. She doesn't need to have all of Konoha as her insane asylum for this."

"Apparently, where she comes from, people go bat-shit about Shark Week." Cielo said. "I wonder why…"

"The programs and stuff they play on TV are pretty amazing." Sanaa said. "Though, I think Icy is doing the Shark Week thing more for Kisa and Tibby than she is the sharks on TV. Either way, she's going a little crazy about it."

"Crazy is an understatement." Cielo said simply, looking at his blonde teammate.

Tiburon sighed deeply. "There was one time we had Shark Week in Konoha and my mom literally posted fliers about Kisa, me, and Shark Week in general. She made Danna and Kitty rewire all of the cables in Konoha so the TVs only broadcasted the shark themed shows."

"That's frightening." Cielo admitted.

"But at least she makes me food." Tiburon said, biting off the tail to a shark shaped cookie his mother had made. She had literally shoved an entire jar of the delicious cookies into his arms, telling him he was cute and that she had to go and make more food.

"You're so spoiled." Sanaa said, smiling.

"And you're not?" Cielo asked, looking at Sanaa.

Sanaa shrugged. "My mom isn't the one who made a week about me."

"It already existed before I was born." Tiburon said. "I just benefit from it because my name means Shark." He gave Sanaa a look. "And you benefit from Blondie Week that my mom made for you, Dei, and Kitty so don't make fun."

Cielo shook his head. "Alice has serious problems."

Sanaa and Tiburon both scoffed. "No kidding."

First Person Alice!

I looked at Kathryn as she walked into my room about an hour before the shark shows were supposed to start. I smiled at her. "So? How scared is everyone?"

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "I think they're more exasperated than scared."

"Damn it." I sighed, huffing. "I need to up the crazy image then."

"Why do you do this, Alice?" Kathryn wondered.

I held up my hand. "Four reasons. One: I truly do enjoy spoiling the shit out of Kisame and Tiburon because Kisame deserves it and Tibby is my baby. Two: I love Shark Week because Sharks are badass. Three: It amuses me. Four: It's a perfect chance for revenge."

Kathryn stared at the four fingers I had pointed at her. "Revenge?"

"Shark Week is my chance to get back at those who had pissed me off and have been rude to me by making food only Kisame, Itachi, and Tibby like. Also, Sasori and Kakuzu hate it when I act like a nutcase and their reactions amuse the hell out of me." I winked at her. "I'll secretly make you some food too, just like always."

Kathryn smiled. "You're evil."

"I know. Now let's go and watch Sharks launch themselves out of the water to eat shit." I said, getting to my feet. "And help me fuck with the others."

Kathryn saluted me with a grin. "Aye, Aye, Captain Crazy-Pants!"

I cackled. "I love Shark Week!"

Shark Week is my shit. I even have a shirt for it. :)

I've been watching anime after anime non-stop for the past two weeks. I've made it through twelve of them at least. I don't remember correctly. All of them have been at least 13 episodes or so. If anyone wants a good show, let me know and I'll hook you up.

I get to move into my new apartment today and then me and my roomie are going puppy hunting. :P Super pumped.

I typed this in like 15 minutes so please excuse any typos and whatnot. I'll fix them if I decide to.

Comadreja means weasel in Spanish.

Until then, my lovelies,

Happy Shark Week!