Blanco – Chapter 20: White Butterflies

Your smell is still on me since yesterday
so is your taste in my mouth.
I want to know everything of every thing,
what does all this truly means?

When Yamamoto Takeshi's eyes opened at the first ray of sunlight that fell upon his eyelids and showed the world that he woke up, he couldn't remember where he was or what he was doing there. It had the strange morning feeling that a person gets sometimes after falling asleep without even realizing it. As his eyes got used to the light and he could see clearly, he looked to the sides so he could gather more details about his surroundings.

And when his eyes stopped suddenly on the one most important part of the room, he remembered.

As he looked down at the sleeping face of his beautiful lover, he remembered. Remembered what had happened and what they had done just mere hours before. And while he was still a bit confused by sleep, his mind was working in a surprisingly clear way. The moment he looked to his side and saw his lover sleeping peacefully surrounded by his long arm was the moment everything fell into place.

'Oh my god, what have we... what have I done?'

And so only seconds later found the Vongola swordsman sitting on the edge of the bed with his arms on his knees and his face on his hands, regrets fresh in him mind. The only thing he had done correctly by his standards since he woke was to cover his boyfriend with the formerly stranded blanket. Even then he was met with the sight of an unpleasant result he would rather leave out of his mind for as long as he can manage it.

They were reckless, too rash and probably didn't think it through. Will this change everything for them? For their relationship? What were they thinking? Those questions kept coming to the rain guardian's mind and it meant a lot that someone as optimistic as him would find it difficult to find answers to them.

Meanwhile, as Yamamoto was too closed inside his own mind, from the other side of the bed his lover woke up. It wouldn't be weird to find out that the storm guardian noticed the lack of warmth source through his sleep and was drawn to consciousness by this. Once he opened his eyes though, he could clearly see that his lover was not by his side and as his eyes looked around they fell on the crouched figure.

Another leaf falls from the tree
and another new one grows.
I want to paint me a world
with the colors of sweet honey.

"Takeshi." he called, his voice rough from sleep and his mind just screaming to him to grab the other teen and pull him back to his rightful place. This would not do though, because he could see that something was not right and he couldn't leave it at that. He wouldn't. "What's wrong? Is there something you want to talk about?"

Yamamoto in turn looked at him briefly and even if it was only for a second he saw the remorseful gleam in the startled eyes. He repeated his question with more conviction then. "Is there something wrong?"

A short silence filled the room while the tall teen thought carefully about how to voice his thoughts, whether or not to voice his regrets and why couldn't he just move on with the feelings he had those hours ago, when he connected irreversibly with his lover.

Finally, the only thing he could manage to get out of his mouth was, "I'm sorry."

This, more than anything, had caught the silver haired teen off guard and made him look at the other resident in the room even more carefully, studying him. "What for?" it was a genuine question. After all, the last time the both of them were awake together was one of the best meoments in his life. What should his partner be sorry for?

The answer that came from the dark eyed teen was simple. "I enjoyed last night so much that I didn't notice you were hurt."

"Hurt? What are you talking about?" the Italian was completely losing the other boy's line of thought it seemed.

"I'm such a bad lover." the Japanese boy said with full belief as he lowered his head even more with shame. He elaborated even more. "Blood. There was blood." he said as he gestured with his still lowered head in a defeated manner towards somewhere around the bed where Gokudera was currently covering. This had caused the green eyed boy to look down with confusion and then back at his lover.

"Of course there will be." the storm guardian said then after he had found what Yamamoto had seen. He released a sight and continued, hoping that that was all. "It's my first time."

"But you were hurt!" Yamamoto looked shocked at Gokudera as he said those words. How could he not blame him for something like that? "How can you be so calm about this?" he was so unprepared for a reaction like that that he let another sentence slip through his lips. A sentence that reflected his darkest and most painful thought.

"I'm no better than Gamma."

White butterflies
once again fly to the light,
like the songs, the stories.

Slipping into your soul.

"Wait, what?" Gokudera was not following. This was not what should have happened when they woke up. They should have just kept sleeping until one of them woke up. Then, that one wouldn't wake the other up but instead use that time hypnotized by his lover's features. When the other would finally wake up, then they would kiss good morning and go eat breakfast. Maybe even one of them would make the other stay in bed while he goes to bring breakfast to the room. But none of that morning could be seen at the moment. The only reality of their true morning was shown transparently by the rain guardian's words.

"I hurt you, but I never noticed. I'm sorry." he continued then, not even knowing if what he was going to say would serve as a justification or not. For him though, it didn't matter. He didn't think he deserved anything after what he had done. "It just felt so good and I gave in and I lost control and...-"

"-And you think that I would have just laid there, suffering quietly while you were having your fun without saying a word?" Gokudera asked harshly enough to make the other guardian flinch visibly at the tone.

True, Yamamoto didn't really think about it that way, but that might be the only way it could have happened, right? Everything was his fault after all. So he stayed quiet, and waited for Gokudera to realize the situation suddenly and to begin yelling and accusing him. That was what he partially believed he deserved for hurting someone so precious.

"Then you are wrong." the storm guardian stated simply, lifting his head with pride and shocking his boyfriend once more. "You were the best." he added for good measure.

Yamamoto's mind couldn't really function at the dazzling smile Gokudera sent his way so he just asked dumbly,"Really?" he gathered his wits a bit more, he gathered his chin too. "You are not ju-"

A kiss was what made his words disappear. They were swallowed by the sweetness and the love that were currently covering his mouth. And the rain guardian would forever wonder how his storm guardian managed to get from point A, meaning the other side of the bed, to point B, meaning his side of the bed, with such agility.

"-No I'm not just saying this, you were amazing." Gokudera confessed truthfully. "In fact, after yesterday's perfect night, I might want a repeat performance."

Before he could even comprehend the offer, a sudden change that threw Yamamoto a bit off was when Gokudera began pushing him down lightly so he would lie on his back.

He looked up and was met with the sexiest look he had ever seen in his life. His lover, silver hair falling down and gracing his slightly flushed face. The green eyes darkened with lust that were looking at him with so much intensity he felt he could pass out if they just kept looking, burning him.

His heart was beating faster and faster as the teen above him lowered his face closer and closer to his own face and he had to fight really hard with his lungs to breathe. They didn't seem to want to.

It seemed like his body wasn't under his control anymore, but Gokudera's. The storm guardian's breathtaking eyes that were hypnotizing him all over again, never allowing him to close his eyes. His heart might as well have been held by Gokudera as well because it was obviously beating for him.

Kisses were trailing down his chest, going lower and lower and lower, the love was obvious. At that moment, only one thought came to his mind. One thought that was there some minutes before but now, showed in an entirely different context.

'Really, what was I thinking?'

Once again, the same feeling that it's good to keep going on
and that you can lift your gaze up.
Even when the sun sets, even when it's dark,
it's the two of us together, me and you.

Well, that's it, but don't worry, I could almost tell you for sure that the next chapter will come out this weekend. Why so short you will ask, so I would answer now – it just didn't fit well with the next chapter's plan and while at the beginning I had this chapter a lot longer than it is now, I had to shorten it because none of the parts fit together. With that said, you should view it as I do, as some sort of an interlude...

Well, how can I say that next weekend would probably already have a chapter? Because as I said, this chapter was supposed to be longer. The meaning is that all the parts of the chapter that I took out will be in the next one. They are already written. Why almost and not for sure? Because while I'm supposed to be home this weekend, nothing is really 100% known until the last minute...

I really do think that it is better to update a chapter this short than wait another week, possibly two, for a longer one that wouldn't be good enough because none of the parts fit. If you don't see it that way, then I apologize, but there was nothing else I could do, it was a last minute change for the best in my opinion.

Next chapter: The family's acceptance. (So yeah, there will be many characters and interactions...)