A/N: Here is some more ... Enjoy!
"The best thing I ever did with my life was becoming a father. There isn't anything in this world that could ever compare to being a father to some of the best kid's on this planet. When you were born, my world completely changed. I already had girls and added another with Lizzie but on the same day I got you, my son. You were the one who I was going to teach how to play baseball, the one who I was going to be able to play in the dirt and rough house with. I was going to teach you how to treat a woman, I wanted to teach you to be a better man than me." He looked to Dickie and found him starring directly back at him. "I'd like to think that I accomplished most of the things that I wanted to do, but I know I wasn't perfect. I worked crazy hours and missed a lot of school functions, but don't think for one second it was because I didn't love you, or didn't want to spend time with you. Being around you, and your brother and sisters, are the happiest times in my life."
Dickie took in everything his Father had just said before responding. "Is it different with Noah? Do you feel differently about him than you do about us?"
"No. I love him just the same as I love you. There is a difference though," he trailed off to look at Dickie's face, trying to gauge a reaction. "The schedule I have now allows me to be around more and spend more time with Noah than I was able to with you, and I wish I would have had this job back then. At my age, I am really trying to capture every moment I can with Noah and every milestone because this will probably be the last baby I'll watch grow into an adult. I regret all of the things I missed out on and not being able to fully enjoy every little thing, but the memories I have with you and your siblings are the ones I hold the closest to my heart. Now that I have steady hours and a lot more free time, and with Noah, I hope that you and I will become closer, as well as your siblings."
Dickie reached out and rested a hand on Elliot's shoulder "We know you love us, Dad. I think we could all work a little harder to bring us closer together. Growing up, it was hard that you weren't around like most kids' parent's but we understood that you had an important job to do. You were my hero back then ... you still are."
Elliot looked to his son and recognized the sincerity in his eyes and voice and it felt like a burden was lifted from his shoulders. He had always carried around the regret and sadness that he let his children down and was happy to know that they did understand and that they knew he loved them with all he had.
Dickie dropped his arm from his Father's shoulder "So you and Olivia versus you and Mom?"
Elliot took a deep breath and looked down at his hands "What Olivia and I have is just different than what I had with your mom. Your mother and I were stuck in a situation where marriage and building a life together was the best option. We were young and in love with a baby on the way, but I don't regret any of it because I got you and your brother and sisters out of it. I truly did love her and a part of me always will. We had a good life together and we made some really great memories."
"So what's different between that, and what you and Liv have?" Dickie asked, genuinely wanting to know.
"When we were partnered together, in the beginning it was strictly professional and let me be clear: I never cheated on your mother with her. I could never do that ... to either of them." Dickie nodded his head in understanding and Elliot continued, "The things we saw every day on the job, they change you. I didn't want to bring that home to you guys, so that left me with Olivia to turn to. She understood me and what I was dealing with, but it was so much more than that. She accepted all of the things about me, things your mother never truly understood. It wasn't her fault, it was mine. I wasn't an open person back then. The more Olivia and I learned about each other, the closer our bond became and I fell for her. She was, and is, my best friend. We have history and heart ache that only we can understand. When I left SVU, the way that I missed her," he sighed and shook his head "It was like I was missing my other half. Not a single day went by that I didn't think of her ... where I didn't miss her so much that I physically hurt, but I knew that I needed to try to make my marriage work for my kids' sake."
Dickie turned to face his Dad, furrowing his brow "So you stayed with Mom ... for us? Even though you loved Olivia?"
Elliot shrugged his shoulders "Yeah. You all deserved to have the best. I wanted to do all that I could to make sure you all had a normal life ... especially for Eli. He was so little, he still is, and I didn't want him to have a different childhood than the rest of you. Above all else, I didn't want to let you kids down."
He took a moment to absorb all his Dad was telling him "Why did you and Mom decide to call it quits?"
"One night her and I were talking about you guys and our jobs and something just clicked. That aside from our children, we were basically living separate lives. We were just two stranger's living in one house and we weren't happy with that. We both wanted better and decided that we both deserved the chance to find that again."
Dickie nodded "Okay ... that makes sense. You haven't been happy the last couple of years. I can't say the divorce was easy, for any of us, but I do understand it." He let out a sigh and shrugged his shoulders "I want you both to be happy and if Olivia and Noah can do that for you then ... okay."
"Having Olivia and Noah doesn't change how much I love you ... I hope you know that. I want them to be accepted into this family. I love them, just as much as I love you," he reached out and pulled him into a hug.
"I know that," Dickie told him, returning the hug. "I've always liked Liv, and with Noah we're finally even. Just need one more to take the lead."
Elliot chuckled and clapped him on the back "Woah there now. We aren't a couple of teenagers. That probably isn't even a possibility for us, even if we did want it."
"Well, never say never. Stranger things have happened and with that super sperm you've got, we might have six more running around," he laughed along with his Dad. He stood up and pulled Elliot up with him "I'm gonna go talk to Olivia and clear the air."
"That sounds like a good idea. Have I told you how proud I am of the man you're becoming?" Elliot asked as he followed Dickie to the door.
"Maybe once or twice," he chuckled "But I know you are."
Dickie walked into the living room and found Olivia on the couch talking with the girls as Eli and Noah played on the floor, and that's when he realized it. Until that moment, he still felt a little confused about everything and the mixed emotions he was dealing with but this changed it all. Adding Olivia and Noah
only made his family better. He did care for Olivia, even though in his younger days he had made things difficult, but now that he was getting older and understood the meaning of love a lot better he understood it. Watching his sisters interact with Olivia and Eli babble away and play with Noah, he watched as two people had the ability to light up his whole family.
"Hey, Olivia, can I just have a sec?"
She looked from Dickie to Elliot, who had an encouraging smile on his face "Of course you can. I have to grab a couple things from the nursery if you just want to come with me?"
"Sure. Lead the way," he gestured for her to go ahead and he followed closely behind. Once they made it to the room she turned to face him "I'm sorry about how I've been acting. It really has nothing to do with you or Noah. It was just my own insecurities. My Dad and I talked about it, he told me a lot of what he went through to get to this point," he smiled at her and she returned it "He told me how he fell in love with you and how he gave that up to try and do right by my mom and us."
She nodded her head in understanding. They had discussed the reasons why he had left and while he never said those exact words, she knew one reason was for his kids. "He loves you all very much. When we worked together he talked about you guys constantly. He felt horrible for all of things he missed out on. I know it still hurts him ... even to this day."
He shoved his hands in his pockets and shifted between his feet "Can I ask you something?" He inquired, slightly unsure of himself.
"Sure, go ahead," she encouraged him.
He rubbed the back of his neck and looked into her eyes "What made you fall in love with him? Like ... how did you know?"
Olivia just stood there starring at him. Her mouth was gaping slightly and she
was shifting uncomfortably.
"I'm sorry... I'm not trying to be rude or nosey. I shouldn't have asked," he said as he brushed past her and went to the door.
"No, wait Dickie," she said as she turned and grabbed his elbow before he could
open the door and he turned back to face her. "The questions are fine, I just wasn't prepared for them...that's all. Do you really want to know?"
He shrugged his shoulders "Yeah, Dad told me some of how it was for him I just want to see it from your side."
She moved and sat down on the rocker and picked up one of Noah's stuffed animals, occupying her hands. "I don't know the exact day I fell in love with him. All I know, is that one day I woke up and realized that the best thing in my life was him. Every day I went to work, the only thing that got me through it, was him. No matter what I said, no matter what I did, he never judged me and
he was always, always, there for me." She looked up to see Dickie sitting on the rocking ottoman facing her. "I fell in love with him because of all that he is ... good and bad. The way he cares about the ones he loves, the protector in him. The way that he can piss me off but in one minute can turn around and make it all better. How devoted and dedicated he was to the job and to your mother. He loved her, please don't doubt that," she put her hand on Dickie's shoulder and he nodded his head. "Through all of this I realized you can't control who you fall in love with. Once he left, it hit me tenfold. I never felt pain like that before. I couldn't physically function without him. Every time something good or bad happened, he was the only person I wanted to call, the only person I wanted to talk to, the only persons voice, I so desperately needed to hear. That's when I knew that the love I had for him wasn't going to go away. He was a part of me ... a part that I could never let go," she choked out as the emotions finally took over. She buried her face in the stuffed animal in her lap.
"It's okay ... please don't cry," Dickie tried to comfort her. He move his hand to rub her back, "You have him now, that's all that matters."
Olivia picked up her head to look at him and wiped away her tears "I'm sorry. I'm sure this is already difficult enough and you don't need me making it worse. I shouldn't have said any of that."
He shook his head "It was strange when I first realized you two were together but talking to you both I know that you two are better together, than you were apart." Dickie gave her a little bit of a smile "And besides, I gained another woman who genuinely cares about us and a brother. So thanks for making it even now," he chuckled and was happy when Olivia started laughing along with him. He pulled her up off of the chair "Let's go hang out and enjoy the rest of the night?"
She joined him at the door "Any time you want to talk, about anything, let me know. I want all of you to be comfortable with this."
"Olivia, we are ... I promise. Welcome to the family," he told her, pulling her into a hug before they left the room and joined the rest of the gang.