After a week in the hospital, seven long days of driving everyone on the floor stir crazy through her harassment of the nurses, Rachel's ready to go home that Friday night. Her dads aren't able to drive her home, so Finn is stuck with the delightful task. He's not particularly looking forward to this, even more so since she's spent the better part of their break-up week crying over Puck. Finn's not too sure how much more he could take, and if she had anyone else to drive her, he would make up weak excuses and avoid the whole thing altogether. The drive home is silent between them, the only sound evident is his fingers strumming across the steering wheel. Pulling into the driveway, he knows he's doing the right thing, but he still has to convince himself of it.
Linking his arms with hers, he walks her up the stairs to her room, and helps her lay down, positioning her onto her back to avoid putting emphasis on her ribs. He watches as her head hits the pillow, her brown hair a tangle of curls across her pillow, her head absorbing a shape into the pillow. He sits there, his fingers clasped tightly to avoid touching her hair, to avoid touching her at all.
Looking at the tension in his hands, Rachel assesses the situation, and comes to understand the next words out of his mouth will be nothing less than negative, and nothing she wants to hear at the moment.
"You were in a car accident." He stares at his hands, he can't make eye contact with her yet.
She rolls her eyes, avoiding eye contact with him just as easily. "I know, Finn. You don't have to tell me. I was there. I have bruises from it, in case you can't see."
"No, don't talk. You need to listen to me. Like really listen."
Surprised at the harshness of his tone, she closes her mouth instead of uttering another word. He pauses, catching his breath.
"You were in a car accident, and you could have died. You could have died, and your life would have been a waste. You spend so much time being sad, you keep forgetting how to live. You keep forgetting there are bigger things than this, bigger things than your pain. Yeah, I know it hurts, and I know it hurts you a lot, but I'm tired of you using your pain to justify everything you're fucking up in your life."
The words continue to come easily, as if he didn't have to think about what he was saying at all.
"You're Rachel Caroline Berry. You once had confidence that made everyone jealous of you, and naturally, you don't have cowardice running through your veins. You're born to be a star, you're born to shine. You're not born to settle, to settle for this relationship that's become second best in your life. This is your chance to overcome things, to use this pain to become better. You can't hide behind your sadness forever, you know. Sooner or later, you're going to have to push through it, and fall in love with the real world again. You're not a damsel in distress, Rachel. You're better than that."
Walking over to the closet, he picks up the box of letters, and gently drops it on her bed. He sits down next to the box, grabbing her hand, tucking it in with his. He was always so surprised how someone so tiny could fit against him so well.
"You can't move forward until you look back. You have to do this, Rachel. You have to face these letters, everything he's left for you is right here, and you've been ignoring it because you're scared. You can't be scared anymore. You have to swim against the tide."
She sighs, pressing her lips tight, and she arches an eyebrow, staring back at Finn. It couldn't have been under her influence. Her heart lurches when he's finished, if she didn't know any better she would say it's fallen to her stomach floor. When did he get so thoughtful, so well versed? She hears the words he says, the way they carry from deep inside him to nestle into spots across her skin. She wants to explain to him, she wants to explain to him time and time again. She hears him well, but the problem lately has never been her hearing; it's been her inability to believe. She's fallen into a state of quiet isolation, and now it's become difficult for her to move out into the sunlight.
"You're going to spend the night and tomorrow in bed, and you're going to read these, and I'm going to tell Puck to stop by on Sunday and the two of you can work this out."
Her eyes turn frantic, flickering over his face, and he can feel her body fidget next to him. "But I told you what happened. I told you he went on a date with someone else. I don't understand what you're trying to do here, Finn. Are you trying to cut the wounds in a little deeper?"
Finn shrugs, refusing to show his offense at her remark. As if he would or could ever purposely hurt her. "I thought it about it a lot this week, how easily he let you go when he spent a summer fighting for you from somewhere else, and it didn't add up to me, and I've thought about it a lot, and I've only learned one thing. He is in love with you, it's you he wants to be with, and judging from those letters, you may be one of those lucky enough to find forever at sixteen. He's just stupid because he's seen how badly he's hurt you before, and now he thinks this is his way of fixing things with you. He's letting you go so you could find someone to be happy, it's very altruistic of him. "
She smirks, the quirk of her lips he's come to love, and she ignores everything he's just said but the loaded word in his sentence. She's only sixteen, she can't let herself wish for forever so young, not when she can be disappointed just as quickly.
"I'm glad I could teach you a thing or two about vocabulary, Hudson."
He kisses her on the forehead, and smiles. Altruism. Unselfish, benefiting others. He's doing for her what he should have done before, what he should have done from the beginning.
"What about us?" Her voice rattles him from his thoughts.
"We broke up, remember?"
She sighs, a weary sigh that even he can feel. "I know we did, but where does it leave us?"
"We're going to be friends. Friends. And if things don't work out with Puck, or things don't work out with whoever you date afterwards, maybe we'll find our way back to each other. We'll find our way back together for the right reasons, if it's meant to be but right now, right now you need to become the person you were born to be, regardless of who's at your side."
He pauses, watching the emotions flutter through her eyes.
"You're going to be okay, Berry. You'll see." He doesn't call her by her first name, he uses her last name to make it less personal, more cold but he can't help it, still feeling the emotions he's carried over the past several months. He leans in to hug her, his fingers tangled in her hair, burying his lips into her shoulder, murmuring I love you softly enough for her not to hear, but softly enough to leave an imprint. He takes a breath before he leans out, he can't look at her without her noticing how undone he's become.
He gets up to go, before it becomes any harder than it already is, and he turns to look at her when he's by her door. She looks at him, her head tilted to the side and smiles, like ones she gave him long ago, and she gives him an air five, which he returns. Walking out, he texts Puck to let him know he's coming over, part two of his plan.
Snuggling under the covers after Finn leaves, Rachel thinks she'll do what he wants, she'll read the letters after a short nap, and promptly falls asleep, curled up next to the box by her side.
Arriving at Puck's door, Finn waits patiently for him to open the door, and when he does, he throws another punch at him., the hit landing directly on his upper cheekbone.
"What the fuck, man? Did you come over here to hit me some more? My face can't take any more bruises."
Finn pushes his way into the house, ignoring Puck's stream of expletives.
"You're an ass. I had to listen to her cry for seven fucking days because of you and your lying, that lame ass date you invented."
Puck's eyes narrow. "You're her boyfriend, it's your job to listen to her bitch. That's what boyfriends are fucking for."
"We broke up. It's over." Finn says quietly, the words meaningful to them both.
Puck opens and closes his mouth, gaping like a fish several times.
"What for? You got the girl, man. I don't know why you had to throw it away."
"I'm doing the right thing. She doesn't want to be with me, she's always had a soft spot for you. If you can man up, stop being such a fucking pussy, maybe you'll admit you want to be with her too."
"Watch your tone, Hudson. I'm fucking awesome. The Crazy ship has sailed, my friend. It has sailed, and it's not coming back anytime soon, if ever."
Finn follows Puck as he walks to the freezer, as he grabs a bag of peas to stuff on his face.
"I don't believe that shit for a second, and I know you don't, either."
"I don't care what the fuck you believe, Hudson."
Finn stands there, digging his shoe into Puck's floor, his hands in his pockets. He looks at Puck, really looks at him.
"I told her that you're going to be by on Sunday, and the two of you are going to work this out, one and for all."
"Sunday's pretty bad for me. I have to practice my nunchucks skills. I've been slipping."
Finn shakes his head. "I don't give a shit. You're going to cancel it, you're going to show up at her house. It would look better if you can bring flowers, maybe some chocolates. If you don't show up, I'm going to find you and I'm going to pummel your face in again."
"Leave my face alone. Studs do not have black and blues all over the place. You're damaging my reputation. Not that I've told anyone how I got them. They assume I did something bad ass again, and the chicks fall at my feet. Maybe you should punch me again."
"I'm not punching you again, not until I have to. My fist gets sore from your concrete face. You're going to show up on Sunday, and you're going to fix this."
"What about you and her?"
"We're going to be friends."
Puck laughs sarcastically. "Friends? Really now?" Unbelievable. It's almost as if he's stepped into the Twilight Zone. In what alternate universe has Finn ever wanted to be just friends with Rachel?
"We're going to be friends, while you two do whatever it is you two are going to do, and if you end up together, I'll suck it up and be happy for you both but I can't be with her while she wants to be with you. If you two fuck it up, then maybe we'll see. If we're meant to be together, we will be."
Finn can't imagine a scenario where he gets the girl, but it's all relative at this point. He's been lying to himself for so long about her feelings for Puck, that the truth feels like a welcome change.
They stand in silence, relief hovering slightly above them. There's nothing else to be said, Finn has done his part. As Finn puts on his jacket, he turns to Puck and sticks out his hand.
"What's this?" Puck looks on.
"A peace treaty, I'm sorry."
"For what? You're going to have to be more specific."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say those things I did last week. Some were uncalled for."
Puck doesn't take his hand. "A lot, a lot were uncalled for. If you're going to apologize, don't do it half assed."
"I feel like shit I hurt you, and I didn't mean to. You're my best friend, you've filled that role for all our lives. Can we be cool again?"
Puck walks over to the door, and takes a deep breath before speaking.
"My dad died this summer, you know. Well, let me correct myself. You don't know. You weren't around this summer. Things change, people change, I've changed. I appreciate you trying to fix things with me and Rachel, but it's not going to make up for you not being around this summer, for fucking ditching me, and for saying that shit the other day."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about your dad."
Puck nods uncomfortably, he doesn't want to take the conversation in this direction with anyone, least of all, Finn.
"Thanks."
Finn stands there awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed.
After enough time has elapsed, he speaks, the words quiet and resigned.
"I guess I'll see you around."
He walks out into the night, Puck left behind.
AN: I always get particularly sad when I notice I have over 200 alerts on this story and only ten of you review (Those particular ten are awesome, by the way) and then I fall into a funk and then, I'm in no particular rush to update.