Disclaimers in earlier chapters.
Chapter 21. Sex and the Single Vulcan, part XI
This chapter was written by ejectingthecore.
It's a good thing we played earlier. That night, things go dark again.
He rolls me over on my back and dives into me for what seems like the millionth time. I'm not even sore any more, simply numb. It's a mercy. His body is alarmingly hot and heavy and his chest rams against my face. In a moment of lucidity, he pulls back to look at me, panting, "McCoy told you, at times I will be completely overtaken by my body..." As he thrusts he looks into my eyes. He looks apologetic. It scares me. "I can feel one of those... periods coming on." His eyes are bright with tears that don't fall yet. "Remember....remember...I love you." It sends a jolt through my body, and I can nearly forget, for just a moment, what he's telling me - that he is about to go into a clouded, dark time. Saying that he loves me - I cherish these words, but this time they sound like fingers scrabbling at the edge of a cliff.
Spock comes with a loud grunt, but I know he'll be ready to go again, immediately. What follows will be fucking. Uncontrolled, savage fucking. I hear the doctor in my head.
"He may have periods where he doesn't know who you are...or care....He may say or do things that will hurt you, emotionally or physically."
I now know what this really means, and it's about to happen again. My insides close up, as if my mind and soul are curling into a tiny ball even as I leave my body open for his use. I feel sick. I tell him, "I love you, too." Before he slips away, I grab his hand and kiss the back of it. I whisper, "Don't be afraid."
We both know he can't say the same to me. It's going to be terrifying and painful for me, the one who will be present for it. But I mean it, when I say it to him. I want him to do what he has to, without shame and without fear of what I will think of him.
And then it's begun.
"Your legs...high in the air, spread wide." I do what I need to do. "Wider," he growls and grabs my thighs and pushes them apart, hard. I bend my knees. "Keep them up." He grabs my feet and puts them where he wants them. Then starts plunging into me, and his eyes glaze over and he's gone.
Some time later, my legs are shaking in near collapse, when he tires of this way of doing things. "Hands and knees," he barks, and I do it. He starts into me again, and I'm too close to the head of the bed. I start knocking into the headboard every time he pushes into me. During normal lovemaking, it would be comical, embarrassing at worst. Now it seems life threatening. I don't need him to stop fucking me. I can't feel that anymore, except as an insistent pressure. No, I need him to move me away from the wall. I turn my shoulders as far as possible so my head doesn't take the brunt of it. My shoulder is banging into the wall over and over and the pain is throbbing and soon the headboard cracks. I try to crawl away, to get out of the way before it breaks into pieces. Or before I do.
"Hold still," he growls. He pushes me face first into the bed, wraps a hand around the back of my neck and presses down. The bed is warm and inviting and I'm glad that it gives way to my head, gives me room to escape a bit into its softness. He pulls my hips up, positions me on my knees, head down, and fucks me more, and more, and more. I start humming into the mattress and allowing my face to go slack, until finally he climaxes again, yells out in conquest, pulls out of me, and pushes me out of his way so he can lie down. He falls asleep.
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Prior reviews:
hot4edward:
Oh, I was worried he was trying to suffocate her! At least she's prepared for these dark times, knows what to expect. And thank god Spock can recognize when he's about to completely lose control and warn her with his reminder of his love. I hope Spock has enough control not to kill her.