Chp 21

The next morning, Quinn and Carrie are up and getting ready for the day. Quinn is speaking to Carrie from the shower as she stands in front of the mirror applying moisturizer to her face.

"So when do you think we should do this?" he calls from the shower stall.

"I don't know…I don't want anything fancy, just us, my Dad, Maggie, Bill and the girls. Ok?" she asks.

"I know…."

Quinn turns off the water, steps out of the shower stall, grabs a towel and briefly dries his face before wrapping a towel around his waist. He steps behind Carrie and watches her in the mirror, admiring her grace and beauty.

"How about next weekend?" he asks her gently, bending down to kiss her cheek.

Carrie smiles. Of course he knows what she wants, what she needs. She turns towards him and wraps her arms around his waist.

"Next weekend is perfect. Let me just call my Dad and Maggie."

She kisses him briefly then releases her arms from around Quinn and strolls into their bedroom to dress.

"I was thinking." Quinn continues, "why don't you come up to NY afterwards, we can make it a little honeymoon. Maybe have dinner with Saul and Mira?"

"That would be nice…" she responds as she pulls a blouse over her head.

He pauses…trying to choose his words and timing carefully.

"I was also thinking of calling my parents."

Carrie turns her head to look at him. His parents? Quinn had not mentioned his family in years. All she knew of them was what he told her late one night during a power outage.

FLASHBACK

"This reminds me of the time we lost power for a week in Philly, growing up."

"Yeah?" she asks quietly, staring at the flames dancing in the fireplace.

"There was this hurricane and it knocked out power for almost a week. My parents tried to make an adventure of it. We broke out every blanket and tent and built these forts in the family room and camped out in front of the fireplace for days. "

"Just you and your parents?"

"And my older sister."

"I didn't know you had a sister. Are you still in touch with her?"

Quinn grows quiet and takes a deep breath.

"She died…when I was 16."

Carrie remains quiet, waiting for him to say more.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I understand…"

"No…it's okay. I haven't been trying to hide this from you, it's just…it's hard to talk about it."

Carrie stays silent, giving Quinn the space to speak when he's ready.

"She committed suicide when she was twenty. People thought it was over a guy but she had been struggling for a while. She was in therapy, on meds…"

"Was she depressed?"

He nods.

"She was bi-polar."

Carrie's heart sinks and she drops her head. Jesus.

"Peter…" there is both sorrow and anger in her voice.

"Why have you never told me this? This is kind of big…"

"I know…"

"I mean…Jesus…"

Quinn can see the emotional struggle in Carrie's face.

"No, Carrie. It's not like that. Come on… I'm not making up for the past."

She stares at him, somewhat in disbelief.

"Listen, it was a dark time for me, for my entire family. After she died, I shut everyone out. My parents shut down. We just fell apart. I got angry at the world, at her, at them…."

"And you've been trying to reconcile this ever since," she tells him.

He stares at her, silently.

"Maybe."

Maybe his connection to Carrie was more than love, more than attraction. Maybe it was his unconscious way of coming to grips with the death of his sister.

"Carrie, that is all in the past. I've moved on. I've never been happier."

Quinn reaches out and pulls Carrie back close to him, hugging her between his outstretched legs.

"I know that."

They sit in silence a few moments.

RETURN TO PRESENT DAY

"So why do you want to visit your parents now…after all this time?"

He looks away from her and stares off into the distance.

"Because I'm happy. I want them to see that. And I want them to meet the people that have helped change me."

"Me and Margo…"

"Yes, and now this little one."

He reaches out to hold her waist and pulls her in towards him.

"I'm a father now. And I think I have a better understanding of what they might have felt back then."

She smiles up at him and looks at him intently.

"I can't even begin…" she says.

"I know. I'm sure me disappearing from their lives didn't help. As if losing one child wasn't enough."

Carrie looks in Quinn's eyes, smiles and lays a hand on his cheek.

"Alright, let's do it."