Part 21

John walked into the diner and ordered a cup of coffee. He had gotten to the bottom of it when the other side of his booth was filled with an old, gray face. It made John wish he smoked. Bobby flipped his hat off his head and thwapped it against the window sill. "Hell, I thought Sam was crazy until I laid eyes on you."

"That so?" John motioned for another cup.

"It explains a lot about the last time I saw you… which, by the look of you, was yesterday." His beady eyes raked John over. "Was it yesterday for you?"

"Close to it." Leave it to Bobby to notice right off the age difference.

"We really did salt and burn you two years ago, didn't we."

"I think so."

Bobby's eyes drifted to the waitress on the other side of the restaurant, who smiled and waved at him. "She never found out about you dying. I never thought to call her. Sam didn't know about her."

"She never found out." John agreed. "She didn't miss a beat."

"How are you here, John? I don't remember you going missing for two years."

"No… I took a walk one day and I ended up here. Dean's gone… and then I take a walk right back and Dean's alive."

"You sure?"

"The first time… I might have been drunk. Figured I dreamed it up. How does that happen? Walking fifteen years into the future." John rubbed a hand over his face. "Jesus, and I met Sam the other day and that was a slap in the face."

"You been going back and forth?"

"Yes! I've been saving Dean this whole time. Trying to prevent the things that I'm finding and he keeps dying."

"You been changing things?"

"Of course! I can't let him die."

"Calm down, John." Bobby raised his hands slowly. "I know how much your boys mean to you. I know what you were like right after Sam left. Just calm down." He clasped his hands on the table. "You know… off the top of my head… someone says something about woods and booze and waking up years in the future and I think of Rip Van Winkle."

"Well, I didn't meet with any trolls or funny old men. I just walk right on through. I don't even need to be drunk."

Both men shut their mouths when Liz walked up to the table. She refilled John's cup and was about to ask Bobby what he'd like when she slammed the coffee pot down on the table and ran for the back door. John sipped his cup and waited for Bobby to comment. Liz returned after she had rinsed her mouth out. She poured Bobby a cup and one for herself. "I'm too old to do this again."

John glanced her over. She still looked a little green. "You off soon?"

"Hour more. Kids will be home hour after that." Liz shrugged her shoulders and stretched her back. She gulped the coffee down then picked up the pot to return to her other tables.

John didn't look up but he could feel the heat of Bobby's glare. "I know it. Bobby, don't give me grief."

"You knocked her up? John, are you crazy?"

"Been accused of it."

"You gotta walk back through and not come back. You can't keep coming back and expect much will change."

"Well, I don't have your help when I walk back through, Bobby. You don't believe me."

"All that shit you spun me was you trying to justify yourself. It wasn't the truth."

"Well, now you know. Tell me what I do when I go back."

"Why did you go see Sam, John?"

"Can you believe what he's become, Bobby? How did he get like that?"

Bobby took a breath and figured John would ignore what he wanted and focus on what he thought he needed. "I won't say I saw it coming but when Azazel killed his girl, things were going on with that boy and after the big showdown that got Dean killed, Sam just walked on over to the darkside to do as he saw fit." He lifted a hand to stay John's tongue. "I'm not saying the boy is evil but the line of good and evil that he's on is broad and fuzzy."

"When did his girl die?"

"Near as I can figure, before that night with Dean's Dead Man's Hand. Don't know how long before."

"So, it's too late for me to save her."

"But not to save him."

--

John stared long and hard at the picture they made before making his presence known. Dean flipped through the book and scratched his head. "What happened to normal names?"

"Like what?" Liz lay on the floor with her feet propped on the couch next to Dean's knee.

"John and Mary and Sam. Look at this thing. "Cindi with an 'I' and Cyndy with two 'y's. It's ridiculous." Dean snorted. "Danyael spelled 'y-a-e-l', when did the world go crazy?"

"I'm partial to John, myself." He announced with a clearing of his throat.

"Hey, John." Liz smiled but didn't get up.

"Hey, Dad." Dean turned with a grin. "Might get confusing with two Johns around."

He jerked his head towards the hallway. "Mind if I use your guest room for a private phone conversation?"

"Um… sure." Dean frowned but nodded and pointed. There was no reason to ask or to utter the phrases. He waited a minute before picking up the extension in the kitchen against Liz's glare.

The phone rang in John's ear. He could hear confusion in the voice that answered. "Hello?"

"Sammy?"

"Dad?"

"I'm not picking a fight with you, son but… why didn't you call after the fire?"

A long silence. "Who told you about the fire?"

"Word gets around." John wished he could see the boy's face so that he would know what he was thinking. "She died then?"

"Yeah, Dad." There was a long shaky breath. "Her name was Jess… and she died."

"Tell me how it happened." Silence. "Sam. Was she on the ceiling?"

"Yes. She was on the ceiling. She burned. Okay?"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Well, you weren't talking to me. I don't know what good it would have done."

"At the very least, we could have gone back to get you, Sam. That's… not something you should have to deal with alone." John bit back more reprimands. "It's good to hear your voice, son. I am sorry about your girl."

"What are you and Dean hunting?" Sam cleared his throat. "I'll meet you."

"Well, Dean's not been much for hunting these days but I'd suggest you hear it from him, not me." John couldn't hide the smile in his voice. "We're in New York, Catskills. Tiny little nothing in the mountains. Cooling our heels for now. I'll be checking on what happened to your girl. I'm still looking for that son of a bitch. I'd welcome your help."

"I… I'll come."

--

Liz looked up from her midnight snack and cleared her throat to warn John she was sitting there. "You're going back to the motel?"

"Maybe." John nodded as he polished off his whiskey.

"You leaving in the middle of the night or are you going to wait for Sam to show?"

"Still thinking that one out."

"Please, wait." She stirred the melting remains in her bowl. "I'm glad you called him. I know that it was a battle of wills who was going to call who first but… you are the… um… more mature option in that equation."

"Yeah, I know. I know. Took me long enough."

"How did you know? About his girlfriend?"

"He talks to some people still."

"You are welcome to stay here, you know."

"I know."

Liz dumped her bowl in the sink and ran the water through it. She stood over him, one hand resting on the small belly she'd grown since he'd last seen her. "Get some rest, John. You look better than you've been."

She kissed the top of his head and ran right into Dean coming to look for her. "Hey… save some of that for me." He pressed a kiss to her forehead then turned her to face his dad. "Look at this thing. She just popped right out." He pointed to her belly. "She's barely pregnant."

"Yeah." John nodded to Dean's excitement. "Well, she's a little woman. Hiding a Winchester isn't easy."

"Okay. Enough baby talk. It gets him all riled up and then he can't sleep." Liz cleared her throat to remind them she was still in the room. "Night, John. Come on Dean. We're going to have a talk about boundaries."

--

Dean sat hunched over the table with a lamp and his tools. "Dad, what's the sigil we used back in St. Louis?"

John peered at the leg of the cradle then traced out the sigil he had used on that hunt. "Are you just going to cover the thing in mystical sigils?"

"Well, some of them are for protection… and some of them just look cool." He tilted his head at his dad. "But they're all safe."

"I trust you." John rubbed Dean's head and lifted a second leg to examine the carvings. "Smooth bevels."

"I do try."

"So, what have you been doing for money?"

"On call at the body shop. When they don't need me, I do a turn at the register downstairs… and on slow weeks… I head to the next town over for some good old fashioned pool sharking." Dean grinned. "Locals know me already but they still don't learn."

"Guess they like giving you their money."

"They should just hand it over when I walk in but… gives Liz some space. She says I smother her."

"I wonder why she would say that." John teased as he lowered himself into a chair.

"Maybe… I talk a lot… and I ask a lot of questions… and I don't go away on hunts as often as I used to." Dean shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Maybe I… hang around to see if she needs anything."

"Also, you smell bad."

"What are you talking about, I shower."

"It's a hormone thing son. Right now, your smell skeeves her out. She'll snap at you for no reason. Burst into tears over a long distance phone commercial. Your mom made me sleep on the couch for a month when she was pregnant with you… and two months when she was pregnant with your brother."

"Is that why you slept with me before Sammy was born?"

"That's right. I did." John laughed as he recalled the forts and late night man-to-man talks with his nervous four-year-old. "I had forgotten about that."

"I remember some pretty random shit." Dean shrugged and grinned.

"At least you can remember it."

The grin faded. "So… that pretty girl that we saw hanging all over Sammy… she died?"

"Yeah."

"The thing that killed Mom did it?"

"Looks that way."

"Then why are we sitting here?"

"It's long gone. Sam… was on top of things."

"He's out of practice."

"No, he was taking care of himself."

"Since when are you on the Sammy-bandwagon?"

"Since I realized how much I fucked up my family, Dean." John stared at his now petulant son. "And unless I do something now, it's only going to get worse in ways that can't be fixed."

"Dad… is this part of your near-death break down?"

"Maybe."

"But you're still the baddest badass Dad, right?"

"Well, of course."

"Alright then. I'll deal with the shithead when he gets here."

"Don't call your brother a shithead… he's in mourning."

"Well, he's still a douchebag."

"That's between the two of you."

--

Sam could see them through the window, hear them if he listened hard enough.

"Dean Winchester, get your hands off my stove and scrub that grease off your fingernails before you dare taste my sauce."

"Fine. Fine." Dean trudged over to the sink, but not before he wrapped his hands around her middle and left grease stains all over a shirt with some local band's logo on it. It earned him a smack upside the head… and a deep rumbling laugh from the table's sole occupant.

The girl gasped suddenly and grabbed her middle, which was basketball shaped under the pressure of her hands. "I think it kicked."

Dean placed his hand over her belly and grinned after a moment. "I'm not an expert but I think you're right."

"John, feel." She stepped to the table and forced his hand to her belly. "It's kicking, right?"

"That is a kick. Strong one." After a moment, John turned so he could place both hands on her belly. "If I'm not mistaken, this is a Winchester boy."

"Proud grandpa on the loose." She teased and took her belly back to the stove to finish fixing dinner. "Watch out. It's too soon to know the sex, John."

"Call it a feeling… and like I keep saying. John's a good strong name for a boy."

"We'll keep it in mind." Dean snorted as he dried his hands. "What about Jonah?"

"Judah." The brunette corrected. "Judah."

"Judah Winchester… that's for a girl, right?" John laughed.

"I told you!" Dean jabbed a finger at her.

"It's a man's name. It was my grandfather's name." She smacked his finger away.

"What's your dad's name?" John prompted.

"Jeff."

"That's the name of a college student." Dean protested.

"Your brother's a college student."

"But he has a man's name."

That made Sam laugh enough that he had to knock a moment later. Dean froze but crossed the kitchen to open the door. "Hey."

"Hey." Dean nodded, then glanced behind him. "So, you smelled food all the way from California and came running?"

"Um… Dad… invited me." Sam shifted his weight awkwardly.

"What's the matter with you?" Dean jerked his brother into the apartment and hugged him. "You're family, little brother." After a moment, Sam returned the hug, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears. Then Dean shoved him away. "Dude, come on. We're family but not that kind."

That made Sam laugh. "Glad to see that some things never change."

"Hey Sammy." John had risen and gave Sam the hug he'd been looking for.

"Hey Dad?" Sam's shoulders hitched only once. "This really you?"

"Yeah, Sammy. It's really me." He ran his hand through the mop of hair on his boy. "You need a haircut."

Snorting back a laugh, Sam stepped back. "Yeah, it's really you."

"Hey, Sammy, this is Liz." Dean hung his arm over his girlfriend's shoulders. "She's family, too."

"Hi, it's good to finally meet you." Liz held out her hand.

Sam shook it firmly, eying her belly the whole time. "Some other news, Dean?"

"Yeah. Observant, this one." Dean jerked his thumb at Sam. "Yeah, Sam. Liz and I are having a baby."

"What's this you and I business?" Liz stared up at him. "You're not carrying the bladder-kicker. Excuse me."

Dean watched her go for a moment before turning back to his brother. "Well, sit down. I'll save dinner before it burns."

John and Sam sat for a minute so that the younger man could take in all the changes in the world. "It's like walking into the Twilight Zone." Sam wiped a hand over moist eyes. "When did you guys settle down?"

"I settled." Dean clarified. "And it hasn't been so long, I guess."

"And you're on board with this?" Sam looked to his father.

"I made a lot of mistakes in my life, Sam." John took a breath. "Not the first of them… that fight we had… I never wanted this life for you boys. It took… a few long walks and a drunken stumble into the hospital to open my eyes. Maybe a talk or two with a certain stubborn young lady." Liz snorted from her spot in the doorway, sporting a clean shirt. "I owed you boys a choice that I never had."

"Well, it's not a choice for me anymore." Sam's eyes welled with moisture. He cleared his throat. "I… had been about… to ask Jess to marry me. I… had planned it out and all I needed… was to get accepted to law school…"

"Did you get accepted?" Liz prompted.

"I um… missed the interview because I had to sit with Jess's parents to identify the body."

"How about that?" John nodded to himself. "My son, in law school."

"Well, I figured that you'd need a lawyer sooner or later."

"Okay, Matlock. Eat your dinner." Dean slid a plate under his nose and one under his father's, then looked at the table. "Hey… uh, Liz… do you realize that we only have three chairs?"

"Sit, I'll eat in a minute." She waved him on. Then sat reluctantly when he held the chair out and placed a piled plate in front of her. "I can wait the ten minutes it's gonna take you to inhale this plate."

"That's yours and anyway… you're eating for two now."

"Or six… you know… the way Dean eats. The kid could have four stomachs too." Sam grinned at his brother's bitchface.

"I can still whoop your ass." Dean motioned for his brother to come at him.

"You're on."

"Boys. Enough. Eat your dinner before it gets cold and don't make me remind you the rules about sparring in the house." John jabbed his fork at each in turn.

"You raised two boys, huh." Liz bit her lip as she twirled pasta on a fork. Sam settled in to eat his dinner. Dean took his on the counter top. "So, um, Sam. I have to ask. What's your stance on aliens?"

John nearly choked on his mouthful of spaghetti. Sam blinked at his father, then glanced at his totally sober brother. "Um… I hadn't really thought about it."

"Well, Dean thinks that aliens are cool as long as the chicks are hot and they don't want to blow the world up. John thinks they're evil and should go away."

"I never said that." John stabbed his fork into his plate. "My concerns about aliens had nothing to do with evil." His eyes flicked to Dean and back to his plate. "Besides, I thought we came to a truce about that."

Dean waved his fork at Sam. "Don't mind them. They have cryptic conversations like this a lot. Dad likes to spill his guts to pretty girls when he's drunk."

"I thought we all learned our lesson about pretty girls with Miss Lyle." Sam shook his head.

"Oh, Dude! I forgot about Miss Lyle!" Dean exclaimed.

"Who was Miss Lyle?" Liz prompted.

"She was this demonic teacher that Sam had."

"Dean." John shook his head but the younger man kept talking.

"Dad totally fell for her." Dean forked more pasta into his mouth.

"Turns out she was—" Sam started but Liz cut him off.

"A demon?" Liz guessed.

"She tried to kill Sam and I was telling Dad the whole time that something was wrong with her but no one believed me. She had him so snowed."

Liz saw John's frown and the way he rubbed his forehead but the boys kept talking until long after their spaghetti was gone and John's was a congealed mess on his plate. "Dean? Could you make a run to the ice cream place before it closes?"

"Now? I've got like two minutes to get there." Dean checked his watch.

"Please?"

"Yeah, okay. Dad? You want?"

"No, I'm good." John shook his head.

"Sam?"

"I'll come with." Sam got to his feet.

After a minute in the quiet, John picked up his plate and dumped it in the trash. He found Dean's whiskey and poured himself a drink. Liz followed him outside, across the lot and up to the bench overlooking the woods. "It's been a long time since we were up here." John only nodded. "So, since I can't drink with you, how about we pretend that we just emptied the bottle and played all the cat and mouse games you like and just talk about who Miss Lyle was to you."

John didn't speak, just took a long slug on his bottle.

"Okay… so maybe we find out why you stopped eating your dinner when you were pushing so hard for spaghetti since breakfast…"

"Sue Lyle was… I stopped moving around for a bit. I got myself a scare on a hunt and decided to stop hunting. I figured that hunting was going to get me and the boys killed. So, I found a town. I got a job. The boys were in school and Sue Lyle was Sam's teacher." John knocked back another slug. "I'd almost forgotten about her… until Sam brought her up."

"Sounds like she was more than just Sam's teacher."

"She… grew on me. She was nice and sweet and she looked out for Sam. He got to do all the things he wanted in her class because she took an interest. I'm a dad. Quickest way to get my attention is through my boys." He took a breath. "She got my attention, then she held it."

"There haven't been a lot of women in your life since Mary, have there?"

"Sue Lyle was the first… the last."

"Oh."

"I… didn't know what I was doing. She seemed normal enough. She was giving us a normal life… encouragement for a better life. Dean hated her from the get go and probably initially because she held our attention. Dean hated that school and the kids and everyone else… He saw something in her that I didn't. He tried to tell me and in retrospect… if I had believed him that first night, I never would have slept with her." John took a long, long pull on the bottle. "I ignored a lot. She… enraptured me. She made good spaghetti. She was beautiful and kind… and when she tried to kill… I made her pay with her life."

"John, I'm sorry."

"I can't believe I let myself forget her."

"John, quit blaming yourself."

"The boys pay for all my mistakes." Liz jerked the bottle out of his hand before he could take another drink. John held her eyes for a moment. "Dean's my best friend. He was at that point and I let him down." He took the bottle back but didn't lift it to his lips. "Dean blamed himself for that Shtriga that almost killed Sam. I… remember that night. Vividly."

Liz took his hand and placed it on her belly but didn't interrupt. "I had been out for awhile. Left Dean to watch Sam. I didn't want to scare him so I didn't tell him too much about the hunt. Left him with all the right ammo, just in case." He took a breath and sniffed the open bottle but didn't take another pull. "I was tired. I'd been dragging ass and the life wasn't getting any easier. I caught wind of the son of a bitch and I didn't lose it. It moved fast and I think that… made the boys a target. It wasn't the first night on the hunt but I couldn't tell you if it was the second or twelfth but I had been on it a while. When I followed it back to our motel… I couldn't move my feet. I was tired and I was scared because my boys were the only two children in the motel and I couldn't move." He swallowed down a lump in his throat. "I had some theories about why all my research was coming up empty on ways to kill it. I figured that it had to begin feeding before the consecrated iron rounds would work because they hadn't so far. That's when I could move because… I couldn't use my boys as bait."

"So, you burst in and saved the day?"

"I snuck in. Dean had his shot gun in his hand and he'd done what I had in the parking lot. He was frozen because that was his baby brother and the Shtriga was starting to feed but… he heard us or something because when I took the shot, it didn't faze him. He jumped out the window and I had to get the boys to safety before I could go after it. Safety was a couple hundred miles away…"

"John."

"After the Shtriga, a friend of mine had gotten mixed up with a town of Succubi… and so… I decided that hunting evil was getting my family nowhere… and that's when I met Sue Lyle." He shrugged as he took a pull on the bottle. "In retrospect, it fits with Dean's guilt over that damned thing. He thinks I don't trust him."

"Maybe he didn't but I think he has more faith in your trust now."

"Promise me that this kid won't hunt." John rubbed her belly. "He'll have a knack for it that'll be uncanny but promise me that he'll have options."

"I can guarantee you that it'll have plenty of options."

--

Sam set his bag down on the bed and turned to Dean, who jerked his head towards the door. Quietly, they walked down to the Impala. "Is Dad okay?"

"He's fine. This is what he does now." Dean shrugged.

"He admits to his wrongs?"

"Dad's been having a time of it, I told you." Dean bit out. "Look… for whatever reason, he trusts her. She's good for him. I never… I mean…"

"You never saw what he was doing to you because you thought you deserved it." Sam clarified their childhood for him. "Man, that wall was like paper. How does he sleep in that room?"

"I think that's the only reason he does sleep in that room. Don't tell Liz, ever, about that wall being paper."

"You knew?"

"Yeah, I knew. We'd been living in that motel since about six months after you took off. Our second fight, I could hear them talking about me when I was taking a shower. You could hear everything."

"So, why can't she know?"

"You know how many times we fucked on that landing while dad was in the room?"

"Jesus, Dean. She's the mother of your child. You can't go around saying things like that."

"I'm just saying. It's bad enough Dad walked in on us that one time. If she knew that Dad had been listening to us screw, she'll never talk to him again."

Sam made a face. "You think he was listening."

"There was no way that he wasn't."

Sam nodded and glanced up at the motel but couldn't see onto the landing from the parking lot. "You think Dad really never slept with any woman but Miss Lyle since Mom died?"

"No. He's gotten some tail in his time. Last year, he kept taking off and sometimes… you could smell her on him. I think they broke up or something cause he's been crabby and he's been here for like two weeks straight." Dean stared off into the night. "I think maybe… he fell a little harder for Miss Demontail than he thought… and now I'm sorry I made any jokes about it."

"Demontail?"

"Dude, her shadow… totally had horns, a tail and fucking wings."

"You're a moron. How did you ever land a girl like Liz?"

"His dad was hot and I felt sorry for him." Liz cleared her throat from behind them.

"Hey." Dean tugged her to him. "What did I say about calling the old man 'hot'?"

"That'd you spank me if I ever mentioned it again."

"Spanking? Really?" Sam gagged. "Okay. I'm gonna go and keep Dad company. You two… make me sick."

TBC