If anyone is still reading – gomennasai for the delay, it went way longer than intended, lost my mojo. Hopefully, I have it back and updates will be more frequent. As I've promised before, this fic will not be abandoned. I already am working out the ending.

No particular warnings, weirdly enough. Mostly character-analysis sort of stuff in this one. But I think it came out decent.

These people are not mine because they belong to themselves, with the exception of Dai and Mao who, in my opinion, belong to each other.

HATSUKOI
Chapter 21

Kyousuke was not typically a lucid dreamer; that is to say, he usually faced his dreams as most people do, believing they are reality until the jolt of waking makes clear how ridiculous the dream-world really was. This time, whether it was the pill his uncle had given him or some other reason, the young actor was aware that the forest he was walking through was not real, as fragrant and pleasant and pulsing with life as it seemed to be. Though faintly annoyed at Takanori, the teenager made the best of it he could, as his easy-going nature demanded, and walked the long, well-kept trail, doing his best to enjoy the lovely place.

I wonder if anyone else is here. Maybe Dai-chan. But it seemed like he had been following the path a long time, with no sign of another human being. Finally spotting the opening into a clearing ahead, Kyousuke switched into a jog, but his steps faltered when he reached the sort-of circle of clear ground. On the far side, a young male figure, facing away from Kyousuke, was sitting at and sort of hunched over a school-type desk. Uneasiness began to swirl in the boy's stomach when he noticed firstly that the stranger was wearing a Shidou uniform, and secondly that it was no stranger.

Before Kyousuke could say anything, if he'd been planning to, the doppleganger rose and turned around, still curling into himself as though trying to hide from the world. The pain in the twin's expression at once told Kyousuke who he was really looking at.

"Takumi?"

A nervous nod answered him.

"Where are we?"

Takumi didn't answer right away, seemingly forcing himself to breathe and calm for about a minute before his voice, softer and more hesitant than his actor's, broke the leaf-rustling silence. "It's…sort of an in-between place."

"Between…what and what?"

"Everything. Before, and after. How things seem, how they really are. What we hope for, and what we actually end up with."

"Why are you here?" Kyousuke asked, still confused. "Why am I?"

"Because I am being made. You are fashioning me out of yourself, modeling my pain after your own."

"I'm…" Kyousuke wavered briefly. "I'm so sorry for what your brother did to you."

The sad face lifted out of its downward cast, the hunched back seemed to straighten slightly, and the faraway gaze out of dull eyes blinked at him as though in awakening from trance or sleep. Some of the character's visible burden was eased by Kyousuke's words, and what followed was the smile that the actor had been told was beautiful so many times.

"I'm sorry for you, too," Takumi said softly. "I'm sorry that you understand. And I'm sorry for what I have to do."

Kyousuke was confused. That last remark sounded somewhat threatening, but Takumi seemed no more capable of menace now than he had when he'd worn Tomo's innocent-looking face.

"What do you mean?"

"You have to remember. You have to feel the pain. Like in the faerie tales your brother used to read to you, the princess trapped in the tower, the children imprisoned by the witch. Your memory is locked up, and you can't heal until you face it. And until then, Dai-chan's touch will keep making you scared sometimes. If you don't remember his face, you'll keep seeing the threat of him everywhere."

Kyousuke took a step back, and another when Takumi slowly began to move toward him. He didn't dare turn to run, so much did he fear turning his back to this strange twin of his. He knew now what his character was referring to, who, and he wanted no more of that person and event in his thoughts than he already had.

"Please, no, I can do the part without – "

"I know it hurts," Takumi said, his voice seeming to echo. "And I know it will hurt. But you cannot be your complete self without this restored memory. And until you know the face of the man who raped you, he will be every man who walks behind you in the dark under streetlamps, every well-meaning stranger in a bar. Even Dai-chan."

"No," Kyousuke said, halfway between a murmur and a shout. "I'm doing better. I feel safe with Dai-chan."

"And can he be with you every second forever?"

Kyousuke opened his mouth, but not even air came out of it. Takumi was approaching faster now, and the dreamer felt like his sneakers were glued to the grass. Knowing the gist of what was about to happen but not the method, Kyousuke tried to free his feet, tried to shrug off Takumi's hands on his arms, thinking How can he be stronger than me? With no malice in his expression, only resolution and pity, the character clapped a hand behind Kyousuke's neck, leaned in, and forced their mouths to crash together.

Kyousuke screamed refusal into the open-mouthed kiss, but not for long, because somehow through the contact his mind was filling up. Filling with faces, sounds, feelings, touches, the timbre and cadence of every man who had spoken in that hotel room. The boy couldn't do anything as it all poured in except scream for what he had lost, and for how he didn't fight back even though he was physically unable to.

In vivid color, in full detail, the rape returned to Kyousuke.

daimaodaimaodaimao

"'Then suddenly I feared the cars, the streets you cross, the days you pass,'" Daisuke read slowly, "'You hold me as a glass holds water. You can be shattered like a glass.'" The actor slumped thoughtfully in his seat, letting it soak in, the words in a language he spoke but not on a daily basis. He offered the paper back to Takanori, who gestured he could keep it. "Wow. That really is Mao. To just about every person who meets him, I think."

"I thank the gods sometimes that that child is so strong. Otherwise the amount of hearts he carries would drag him down to the ground."

"Does it hurt him, do you think?" Daisuke murmured, looking Takanori's way without seeming to see him. "Being so incredibly important to so many people?"

The veterinarian responded with a sort of sad smile. "Not the kind of hurting that involves pain, I don't think. I think his own obliviousness protects him sometimes. He stays humble because he's genuinely confused when people love him, despite having grown up in a family that revolves around him. He's retained a kind of innocence because no one on Earth, I've come to accept, will ever be able to convince him of how beautiful he is."

"Or he refuses to accept it because he associates it with people trying to force him," Daisuke wondered aloud, past the bile in his throat.

Takanori closed his eyes for a moment, suddenly looking older than he was. "It shreds my heart to know more has happened than I've been permitted to know. I know he's been grabbed on the subway. I know one of the rebuffed modeling agents waited for Kyousuke in a parking lot when he was twelve and tried to get him in his car by threatening to hurt Masako if he didn't. And I know there was a dentist who was supposed to be doing a routine cleaning when he was thirteen, who put him half-out with nitrous oxide and started to take off his clothes before an assistant came in. I had a police officer friend call in favors, raid the asshole's house, and find enough underage porn to put him away a good long time."

Sighing, the man sat back against the couch. "As I said, Kyousuke will tell me what he wants me to know. I just wish – "

"He was raped."

Takanori stared for a moment without moving, processing. Then his usually-smiling face seemed to crumble, his arms slumped down as if he couldn't hold them, and looking at the floor he whispered, "No."

Daisuke hadn't meant in a million years to reveal what only Kyousuke had a right to, something that might as well have been an arrow to this man's heart for the pain it was causing him, something that could potentially make the Hamao family close ranks around their treasure, cut Daisuke off from him. He hadn't meant to say it, ever, but now that he had, he couldn't stop from elaborating.

"It was a rich businessman who had attended the show. He paid two of the cast – who we got rid of, don't worry – to bring Mao-kun to a hotel, and while everyone there watched, he…he did what all of us together should have been able to prevent. Mao and I were not dating at the time this happened, we sort of came together in the aftermath as I was helping him start to heal, but Takanori-san, I am so, so – "

The elder interrupted the breaking voice, face pale, eyes dripping, but expression resolute. "There's nothing to forgive, Dai-chan. I know you'd have given your life to stop it if there was any way you could have. More than that, I am certain Kyou-chan is as healthy as he is now because of your care, and your love, and since no one in the family will hear a word of this from me, I will say this on behalf of us all – thank you."

Daisuke found he could breathe again; he had stopped without realizing it and his chest had begun to hurt. "I'm in your debt, sir. Beyond my selfish fear of losing him, of his parents keeping him home, I truly think it's best for Mao-kun to be working, to be distracted, meeting people, doing something he loves."

"And being with the one he loves."

"Yes."

"Was it…" Takanori rubbed his eyes, briskly, as though he were angry with them. "Do you know, was it…brutal? I mean, it always is, of course, but – "

"No, I know what you mean," Daisuke said gently. "Psychologically, it was very damaging, the bastard claimed to love him and tried to make him…" He couldn't make himself finish the sentence. "Physically, there was little or no damage. He was given some kind of drug that made him too weak to fight back, and also dosed with a painkiller."

If Takanori was very relieved by this, he only showed a small amount. "I don't suppose you'll give me a name, so I know whose brakes to cut."

"I won't, I'm sorry. I can't risk any of it getting out, it – "

" – would kill Kyou-chan. Yes." Tears continued to stream down Takanori's face, but he was now ignoring them. "Am I to pretend you didn't tell me? With Kyou-chan?"

"No, I'll tell him I did. You've proven so far you can keep our secrets, and even if he's upset at first, having at least one family member he can talk to about it might help him."

Takanori was silent a moment, face still twisted by pain, but he let out a short, mirthless laugh. "You made a good choice in me. Since Endoke, my brother is on a hair trigger ready to disembowel anyone who looks at Kyou-chan too long, and the gods only know what Shinnosuke would have done. Would be doing, actually. Killing sprees take time."

"Shinnosuke-san can never know," Daisuke agreed. "I don't think he lets himself see how strong Mao-kun really is."

"It isn't that, I don't think. It's more that he hates how strong Kyou-chan has had to be, just to survive."

daimaodaimaodaimao

"It's funny, Kyou-chan. I remember this hand when it was small enough for me to hide inside my own. Now yours and mine are almost the same size. It's like you're catching up, decreasing the distance there's always been between us. And I'm proud of everything you've become, are becoming, I really am. But such a big part of me wishes I could still hide you, and do it forever."

Kyousuke didn't respond to his brother's pensive voice, because he was fast asleep, laying on his back on his bed, breathing softly and steadily, and it was anyone's guess whether any part of him realized Shinnosuke was sitting beside him, holding and stroking his pale, soft hand with one that was a bit bigger, darker, more rough from use.

"I know, I know it's fairer to you that you've gotten out from under my thumb and are making your life what you want it to be. And it was never a case of me wanting to prevent you realizing your dreams, experiencing the world, someday falling in love. It's just…maybe I've been too ready to delay, even sacrifice, those things as a trade-off for keeping you safe. You understand, don't you? Aside from some complaining and pouting, you've always been so gracious about my 'brother-complex.' You've let me protect you. I always believed no one but me could properly do it. But now…"

With his free hand, Shinnosuke gently tucked a few strands of hair behind his little brother's ear to get it out of his face. The hand lingered a moment or two, affectionately stroked a warm cheek.

"This Daisuke you've brought into our lives. All my instincts and all that I've heard and observed of him with you tell me I can trust him, that I should be thankful for him, and I am. He seems to have, in a short time, gained enough understanding of you to be able to protect you, to know how to look after you, and for you to have let him into your life as much as you have, he must be an even better man than he seems. And last night…"

Shinnosuke set down his brother's hand for fear of hurting him, and clenched his own into a fist. It shook, until he pressed it against the mattress, trying to expel some of his anger into this inert, unfeeling thing. Kyousuke shifted just slightly, not yet near waking, and Shinnosuke picked his hand back up.

"In a way, I'm grateful that our parents delayed telling me till the asshole was gone, and that they wouldn't let me out. I know killing him would just end up hurting you further, I just…I thought about all the thousands of minutes that had gone by since he began hurting you, that you were so scared and confused you couldn't tell me, every day you passed in pain and fear, how it must have fed that damn belief of yours that you're somehow causing that shit to happen to you, yes, I know about that, and I just – "

The young man halted, needing to breathe after speaking so rapidly. "You wouldn't understand, but I needed him to feel as much pain as possible. I needed something to hurt, and who deserves it more? I only ever find out about these things when it's too late for me to inflict…well, you'd frown and call it revenge, to me it's balance. If someone hurts you, they should be hurt."

Shinnosuke glanced at the half-open door to make sure they were alone, but lowered his voice anyway. A bitter look creased his face, and not wanting to direct that expression to his sibling, the young man looked down.

"I'm sure I don't need to ask if you remember that damn dentist. Dad was as furious as me, but he was doing the right thing, of course, focusing on you, having to summon that rare disciplinarian side of himself in order to get me to follow as he carried you out. You may not remember clearly, you were recovering from the laughing gas, but Dad with his usual good instincts put you in the back seat next to me and told me that you were what mattered right now. But though he was in a rush to get us out of there, I remember he sat and gripped the steering wheel hard for a minute before he started the car. I knew even then he wanted to go back in the office and use every sharp tool in there on Dr. Nakata.

"And I realized he had made it easier on me. He had to drive with nothing else to distract him from his anger, while I had you. I hoped you'd fall asleep, you looked drowsy, or you'd been drugged enough that you wouldn't remember and we could pretend that…but you started moving closer to me, so I put my arm around you and held you, gods, when I do that, the anger, almost all of it, fades away for a little while, and you said, in this voice I can only describe as small, 'It wasn't a dream.' Not asking, accepting, not surprised, just world-weary, like it was a part of life and it always would be.

"I'll never tell you this awake, Kyou-chan, or anyone else, but I found out Nakata's address and one night, early morning, rather, I found myself standing in front of his house. In one hand I had a bottle stuffed with oily rags, in the other a lighter. I was seriously considering lighting that thing and hurling it through a window, then watching it burn to see if that would quiet the storm that raged in the part of my heart that's yours, thinking if the bastard ran out the front door I would shove him back in, and feel nothing while I did it. I spotted a tricycle in the front yard, and I don't know if otherwise I would've…I'm sorry."

Kyousuke shifted again, with it moving the hand Shinnosuke held, and alarmed that he might be waking and have heard, the elder looked up. Good, the boy's eyes were still closed, and he didn't react to his name being softly called, but he didn't settle back down either, shifting because he lacked the energy to toss, making quiet noises of fear or refusal.

"Kyou-chan." Shinnosuke released the hand to gently grip his brother's shoulders, move them with too slow a force to be called shaking. "Kyou-chan, wake up!"

Nightmares Shinnosuke had dealt with before, but Kyousuke had always woken out of them quickly, as though they came only to the top-most levels of his mind, the shallows he could extricate himself from with little outside interference and/or awareness of the dream for what it was. He should be awake by now and able to accept comfort, but even though Shinnosuke was worried enough to actually shake him, the boy continued to move as though fighting with a body that would barely obey his commands, and to make the pained sounds, though now mixed in with whimpering "No" over and over.

All the gods DAMN you, Endoke. "Kyou-chan!" he said desperately, louder now. What do I do? If I try to hold him, he might think I'm someone else. Why isn't he waking up? "Kyou-chan!"

daimaodaimaodaimao

Daisuke paused mid-sentence. "Did you hear that?"

The veterinarian and the actor, as though they'd made an agreement to, froze and kept silent, until they heard Shinnosuke's voice coming from upstairs. What he was saying, they weren't sure, but it was a voice raised in panic, and both knew immediately what this must be about, what the reserved student cared about enough to break his calm exterior. Takanori swore under his breath as they raced up the stairs, Daisuke heard nothing save for the pounding of blood in his ears, and it seemed to be only milliseconds before they were through the door of Kyousuke's bedroom.

Shinnosuke looked at them with genuine fear. Takanori had seen this expression on him only once, as a child when Kyousuke was taken to the hospital for a fever that wouldn't break, and Daisuke never before, but they both instantly felt an alarm to match his. No explanation was needed, as the restless movement and whimpers of refusal had not ceased. In the middle of the room, Daisuke froze, partly in fear he'd do something that would reveal their relationship, but also because the sounds Kyousuke was making reminded him of the panic attack the boy had had early in their acquaintance, and he in a rapid-fire thought wondered if space would help his boyfriend as it had done then.

The other Hamaos clearly thought differently. As though he were at the clinic assisting in an animal treatment, Shinnosuke released his brother when Takanori approached them, yielding to age and experience. And putting on a business-like calm as though he too were at work, Takanori sat down on the bed, himself tried shaking and calling to Kyousuke, and when those didn't work, he took his nephew's pulse, muttered "Elevated" to no one in particular, and carefully, mindful of Kyousuke's shaking, lifted each of his eyelids to look at his eyes, then observed the closed eyes intently for several seconds, then sat back and shook his head.

"He's in REM, that's deep sleep. A nightmare."

"He doesn't ever sleep this deep, what's wrong with him?" Shinnosuke shouted, nearly wringing his hands.

The doctor's shoulders slumped. "It's my fault."

"What?" It would have been humorous at any other time to hear Daisuke and Shinnosuke, Kyousuke's twin pillars of protection, speak in unison.

"The painkiller I gave him. Damn it."

"What was it?" Another thing that would've been amusing at a less-serious time, Shinnosuke the perfect son and respectful student yelling in frustration at his mentor.

"Oxycodone, five milligrams."

"You gave him Percocet?!" Shinnosuke almost growled. "Are you insane? He's never had anything stronger than codeine!"

Daisuke stopped listening to the aniki's angry scolding of his repentant uncle, instead making his way to the bed while feeling like he was fighting quicksand to get there. Weighed down by the need to keep their secret, Daisuke got to his boyfriend at last, having been carried by love to where he belonged. And as though there had been no choice to consider, never mind make, Daisuke snaked his arms under and around Kyousuke, lifted him up and held the boy to his chest. So quick that Daisuke missed the exact moment, Kyousuke exhaled a long breath and slumped, probably exhausted, into the familiar hold.

Shinnosuke paused mid-word, and held up a hand for silence when Takanori started to speak. The veterinarian was puzzled, then understood what Shinnosuke was drawing attention to. It was quiet, the heartbreaking whimpers having instantly faded into slow, steady breaths. The absence of them was like a song.

Daisuke, once certain Kyousuke had really calmed, tried to look as casual, even business-like as possible, giving Takanori's concerned expression a shrug and a smile. "Guess he learned last night how comfortable I am," he quipped, and tried to think of something else disarming for Shinnosuke. When his gaze moved to the elder Hamao brother, however, his mind went blank. Shinnosuke was holding out his arms expectantly, and there was no question of what he was asking for.

"A-Ano…"

Takanori injected a forced laugh into the sudden tension. "Come on now, let's not give Kyou-chan more evidence for his accusations of us treating him like a toddler. Clearly he's fine where he is and – "

"He's more used to me," Shinnosuke said flatly.

Just do it, Daisuke snapped at himself, what's the big deal? But it felt like Shinnosuke was asking for more than one little surrender, like this was symbolic of the whole situation the near-strangers had found themselves in, both wanting to be the most important person to one they both loved more than any other. I'm a guest, a would-be usurper, and more than that, I was winning him over. The logical thing to do was wave the white flag, retreat to fight another day, laugh this tension off like it was nothing.

But it was, somehow, everything. And while Shinnosuke watched him with increasing annoyance, Daisuke found that he could not hand Kyousuke over, no more literally than he could have figuratively. At last, with a sudden flash of genius, a compromise came to him. "I think Takanori-san might have a point," the actor said, while setting Kyousuke back down as quickly as he could while being gentle enough to not disturb him.

Shinnosuke, to his credit, seemed to accept this, or maybe his natural anger at seeing his brother touched by another man dissipated once Daisuke was no longer in physical contact with him. But he also reached out to take Kyousuke's hand again, and it froze mid-air when the boy sleep-mumbled "Dai-chan?"

They couldn't have been silenced more quickly than if he had suddenly shouted. This was not like it had been with Yuya, not even close, Daisuke had no right and frankly no desire right now to impose rules on Shinnosuke about touching his own little brother. Besides, he felt nothing but pity for his rival who knew they were waging war, but not the truth of what for, or why, or what he was going to have to accept when Daisuke won.

Before Shinnosuke could grab his hand again, Kyousuke, with another soft "Dai-chan," felt around for the one he really wanted, and when Shinnosuke took the searching fingers instead, the boy frowned, and he blearily blinked his eyes open, not noticing the two tears that quickly streamed down his cheeks. He clearly wasn't fully awake yet, judging by what happened next. The elder brother grabbed a tissue and moved in with it, intending to wipe his eyes, but all Kyousuke saw was a bigger body bending over him with what looked like a white cloth.

Panic took over, panic born of terrible memory, especially now that the recollection of that awful night was now full and complete. With a cry that broke three hearts at once, Kyousuke curled up defensively and wailed, "Please don't, please don't touch – "

Daisuke acted instantly, as Shinnosuke drew back with an expression of guilt and horror Daisuke pulled Kyousuke back to his chest, arms enfolding him. "He's gone, you're safe, you're safe, I promise, you're safe."

The teenager either didn't realize they, the couple, weren't alone, or he wasn't thinking enough to care, because he snuggled into Daisuke's embrace and exhaled with audible relief and a very faint smile; even his tiniest ones were beautiful to these observers. Daisuke was aware of the room's other inhabitants, but he was not capable of nudging Kyousuke away under any circumstances, much less when he truly needed comfort. He tried to look casual, as much as he could, resting his chin on the sweet-smelling hair when he really wanted to be burying his mouth and nose into it. He looked first to Takanori, who just looked concerned and guilty, then Shinnosuke.

The young man seemed to be battling within himself, because his expression was not immediately readable. The student was looking at his little brother, so of course there was softness in the gaze, worry, conflict, and Daisuke could almost hear his instincts screaming at him to wrench his baby brother out of the grip of this usurper, his better judgment to do no such thing…and then he looked at Daisuke.

Daisuke read anger very clearly, anger that was tempered with gratitude that their shared treasure was now relaxed and smiling, anger that from early youth had always been when someone else seemed to have a part of Kyousuke's heart, anger that till now had only reared its head a few times, with the couple of times Kyousuke had a best friend, with, to Shinnosuke's shame, their own shared parents. The popular-in-manga phrase "brother-complex" didn't cover it with the Hamao brothers, whether it was used tenderly or for a running joke; it was too small. Shinnosuke loved Kyousuke more than he thought he could love anything, and had seen too many attempts at theft and had protected him for so long that he might as well be watching his own child preferring the arms of someone else.

"Ojisan." Surprising them both, Shinnosuke addressed his uncle, though he didn't turn to look at him. "Please tell me when he's deeply asleep again."

"Of…of course." Takanori had the Hamao trait of disliking and being terrible at lying, so the trio spent a few awkward, silent moments, until he feebly volunteered, "He's back in REM."

"I understand, Watanabe-san."

Takanori stiffened, but Daisuke straightened his back, and spoke calmly, as if he were not willing to kidnap the boy in his arms if he had to. "Shinnosuke-san?"

"He has a…a crush. On you."

Kami, arigatou. Daisuke, who was an actor after all, put on a surprised, sheepish smile. "Oh, do you think so? I wondered. That's so cute. I'm sure I need not say I'm honored."

Shinnosuke's mouth twisted, his expression less dark, thoughtful now, but he still gave off a tense, ready-to-pounce air. "You are not to encourage it in any way. I'm sure I need not say."

Daisuke's insides twisted with a real pain. He had to tell an unconscionable lie to a man he not only now saw as a brother, but as nakama, a comrade protecting Kyousuke. A fellow knight he respected the hell out of.

"Of course not. I've been through this with other younger actors. We always end up good friends afterward."

Shinnosuke finally relaxed, though jumped slightly, they all did, when Kyousuke suddenly moved. But he was not having another nightmare, but rather waking up, rubbing his eyes in a way that all three viewers mentally "aww"ed at. As the boy took in his surroundings, he tiredly eased himself off Daisuke to sit on a pillow. He gave Shinnosuke and Daisuke each a reassuring smile, then pouted at his uncle.

"I'm never taking any medication you give me again, so don't bother."

"Sorry, kid." Takanori too seemed at ease, now that Shinnosuke had been placated. "Just couldn't stand seeing you in any pain after the past few days."

"Kyou-chan, are you all right?"

"Yes. Really, Aniki, I'm fine."

"Was your dream about…?"

"…Endoke, right?" Daisuke finished softly.

Kyousuke caught the hint in the name being spoken slightly louder than the following word. Curling into himself a little, with an entirely accidental sniffle, he nodded. "Yeah, but I'm okay. Really."

Shinnosuke's hands balled into fists, and he stood up. Takanori grabbed his arm in what looked like a grip that hurt.

"No. You're not."

"He deserves death. He deserves a painful death."

"Look at your brother. No, look at him."

Shinnosuke obeyed, focusing on the pleading sadness in his treasure's large eyes rather than Daisuke holding and stroking the boy's hand.

Takanori, usually as jovial as his brother, spoke with a hard voice. "I feel the same rage you do, we all do. But acting on that anger will only further hurt Kyou-chan. Don't punish him for being kinder than the rest of us."

The droplet that escaped one of Kyousuke's eyes snapped Shinnosuke out of his rage, or at least as much as anything short of homicide could. He knelt back down on the bed, scooped Kyousuke up and hugged him tightly, hiding his own rare tears in the sleep-mussed black hair. Kyousuke hugged him back with what little strength he had.

"Thank you, Aniki. I'm okay, really." Kyousuke smiled at the whisper only he heard. "I love you too."

Shinnosuke tried to look like his serious self when he finally set the boy back down. "Yeah, don't take anything else from this quack. I can tell you have almost no energy."

Takanori hmmphed, but playfully. "If you'll go get my bag for me, Shin, I actually have something for that."

The young man stood, grateful for the chance to go compose himself, and headed for the door as Kyousuke called, "Hey, didn't you just say – "

"Don't argue with grownups, otouto-chan," the elder brother responded, also seeming more cheerful as he closed the door behind him.

Takanori at once looked serious again. "It wasn't about Endoke, was it?"

"Baby," Daisuke said softly, rubbing a hand up and down his back, "I told your uncle about," then whispered the rapist's name in Kyousuke's ear. "I'm sorry, I had no right, but I wanted someone in your family to know."

Strangely, Kyousuke didn't seem terribly surprised. "It's okay. Ojisan, I was thinking about telling you any-oh, Ojisan, I'm okay, really…"

Takanori was another Hamao who hardly ever cried, but he was wiping his drenched face furiously, mindful that Shinnosuke would be back in a few moments. "Don't worry about me, we don't have long. Were you examined afterward?"

"Yes, and STD-tested. I'm okay."

With a pained sigh, Takanori grabbed the kid in a brief but tight embrace. "I know you must be sick of hugs right now, sorry, but it's necessary." He placed a long kiss to the boy's forehead when he let him go. "You know to call me if you need or want anything, no matter what it is or when. Therapist referral, hitman, hallucinogenic drugs…"

Kyousuke laughed and so did Daisuke, which was what the veterinarian had intended. The atmosphere was lightening by the time Shinnosuke returned, complaining that his mentor never left things where they could easily be found, whether it be his bag or medical instruments at the clinic.

"And you better not be giving him speed or anything, or so help me…"

"Mind your matters, oi-kun, or you're demoted back to cleaning up dog vomit," Takanori said idly, fishing through his black case. "It's just a little adrenaline. In the United States, they give kindergarteners more than this daily if they're slightly distracted."

"It's a needle?" Kyousuke made a pretty whining noise and dove into his brother's lap. Oh, good move, Mao, Daisuke thought with relief as Shinnosuke smiled and stroked the boy's hair. "I hate needles!"

"Sorry, baby," Takanori hummed as he tied an elastic cord around the boy's arm above his elbow. "It's either a very brief needle or your aniki has to carry you around the rest of the day, which I'm sure he'd love, but you not so much."

"Ugh, fine."

But Kyousuke moved fully onto his brother's lap and looked away as the skin was broken, turning back to hold a cotton pad over the wound until Takanori replaced it with a tight bandage. The doctor chuckled.

"Just like when you were little. Daisuke-san, it was always so cute, Shin had to come to all of Kyou-chan's vaccinations. He only let the doctor approach with a syringe if he was on Shin's lap. I guess some things never change."

"Some things never have to," Daisuke said quietly. Shinnosuke caught his eye and nodded slightly, as though the words had been a message to him. Who knows, Daisuke thought vaguely, maybe they were. I'm not planning to take him away from you. I only would if you tried to get rid of me.

"I am turning seventeen tomorrow, you know," the boy said with a 'hmph, take that' tone to his voice.

"Yeah, seventeen, not twenty," Shinnosuke said, reluctantly letting the boy climb off his lap and mussing his hair. "Nothing changes yet."

The young man caught Daisuke's eye, and his thought was nearly audible. It screamed. Nothing changes, Watanabe-san.

Daisuke smiled weakly, thinking, I'm sorry. You may not believe that when you learn the truth. But it's true. I'd just do anything to keep him.

"Ojisan, your eyes are red. Were you crying?"

Takanori, usually pleased his student was so observant, scoffed. "Well, just nostalgic, I suppose," ("natsukashii" was the word he used) "since Kyou-chan is turning seventeen, and Minami twelve a few day later. Hurts a little bit, watching kids in a family grow up. You'll understand when you're older. Kind of a happy pain."

"I do understand," Shinnosuke said, glumly enough that Kyousuke gave him another hug.

The elder brother held onto him longer than the boy had intended, and more tightly. The tight smile he gave Daisuke over Kyousuke's shoulder was friendly on the surface, but the meaning behind it was unmistakable.

Mine, Watanabe-san. You're walking a line from now on.

I always was, Shinnosuke-san. I hope you'll forgive me when I step down and cut the rope.

To be continued.