Chapter 21

Rory felt weak, she didn't want to face Finn, or Jess or the townspeople's eyes. She felt guilty for making such a scene on her mothers wedding day. But, most of all, she felt dread. A hard rock had formed in her throat, and her stomach was churning madly. She didn't return to the reception with her mother, instead she sat in the gazebo staring blankly off into the distance. It was dark now and she could feel the cold breeze on her skin, but was to preoccupied to shiver.

She wondered nervously what would happen when she met with all the people, who at this moment she was desperately trying to avoid. She couldn't though. Jess and Celeste would be at Luke's diner. Finn would be waiting for her at her apartment. The townspeople of course, were everywhere, and they would ask her questions and tease and whisper about her.

Rory took her phone out of the small bag she was carrying and scanned through the numbers, searching for someone to talk too. Someone to put it in some sort of perspective. She reached Paris's name, she hadn't spoken to Paris in a long time, she was worried about the lecture she would receive for letting true friendships die, but she was desperate.

"Hello?" Came Paris's voice, abrupt and angry as ever.

"Paris. It's Rory." Rory said in barely a whisper. There was silence for a moment, as if Paris had too many things to say at once and couldn't choose which one to bark out first.

"Rory…What's up?" She said finally, Rory was surprised at the casualness of this reply.

"We hadn't spoken in a while, and I've been having some problems, and I wanted to talk to you about them." Rory told her.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Paris sounded confused.

"You've always been helpful. I know you'll look at the situation without emotion and tell me what the right thing is." Rory explained. There was silence again, Rory could hear a scratching noise in the background, "Are you taking notes on our conversation."

"No." Paris said, and immediately the scratching stopped, Rory smirked. "Alright, lay it on me."

Rory went through the whole situation, starting from writing about Jess's book and her first trip to Philly. Paris listened quietly, not interrupting Rory. When Rory had finally finished explaining, she felt better. It was good to just talk to someone, let it all out.

"Rory…" Paris was quiet, Rory could practically hear her mind going over what had been said, "I don't think I can help you. You told me to look at your situation without emotion, and tell you what the right thing is. This situation is so full of emotion, I don't think I'm the one to help you. You're emotions are."

Rory was surprised by Paris's words. Not expecting such a thing to come out of her mouth, however she knew that Paris was right. She couldn't make this important decision based on Paris's opinion, or her mothers, or Jess's or Finn's. It was all down to her.

"I hope you work it out." Paris said, then she hung up, Rory sat with her phone still to her ear for a moment, then she put it away. She was back to square one. Except now, she spotted Jess making his way over. He was alone.

He sat down next to Rory without a word. They both sat in silence. Rain started to fall gentle, making a drumming sound on the roof of the gazebo.

"Are you cold?" Jess asked softly, Rory nodded and he took his jacket off and put it around her shoulders, she smiled gently, not looking at him, not ready to look at him. "That was quite a run you just did. I'm always surprised by your speed. Guess it's all that coffee."

Rory let out a breath, somewhere between a chuckle and a sob.

"It's ok." Jess said, putting his arm around her and drawing her in. Rory was past the point of crying, she felt like such a stupid girl for crying. People lived in poverty, starving, hungry. People lived in war torn countries, their family killed before their eyes. And Rory cried because two great guys wanted her.

"You are with Celeste." Rory told him, finally turning to look him in the face. "How can you say you want me, when you're with another woman?"

"I care for Celeste. If I can't have you, she's the one I would want." Jess told Rory.

"Lucky number 2." Rory said sarcastically, standing up and pacing back and forth. "We'll hurt them, if we are together. I can't bare to hurt Finn."

"But you're willing to hurt me?" Jess said, sounding annoyed.

"You have someone. You have Celeste, you have this life in Philly that you're already living with her." Rory cried out, looking down at him.

"I've lost you too many times. I don't want to lose you again! I love you Rory. I love you!" Jess shouted, Rory was shocked. "I've never stopped. I loved you when we ate that crumby picnic lunch you made, I loved you when I watched you dancing at the dance marathon, I loved you when I saw you on the bus, when I was leaving."

"You left me!" Rory snapped back, "You left me! I was heartbroken, sick. I cried myself to sleep for months. I didn't get to go to my prom."

"We were kids. I was scared. I'm not scared now." Jess said, they were both standing down, yelling at each other, just like it always had been.

"I have to go." Rory told him, running down the gazebo steps and beginning to make her way across the grass, rain wetting her hair. Jess ran up behind her and grabbed her by her hand and spun her around to face him.

"I won't let you go." He told her, then he kissed her roughly on the mouth, she kissed him back and the embraced tightly, Rory thought in the back of her mind how clique it was to kiss in the rain, but she didn't care. Jess had his hands on either side of her face ad through her now soaking hair. Then, they parted, looking at each other. "Don't make me have to chase you again."

"Jess Mariano. I do believe you just did something corny and romantic." Rory told him, they were grinning at each other through the pouring rain, Jess still had Rory by one of her hands.

"I'm willing to lower myself to that if it means being close to you." Jess smiled, "Come on." Jess said, leading Rory towards the diner.

Rory allowed herself to be pulled into Luke's diner, she took a seat on a stool at the counter. The store was shut and pitch black, Jess ran upstairs and grabbed a couple of candles, lit them and placed them on the counter in front of Rory.

"Don't want to turn the lights on, or the whole town will come expecting coffee." Jess told her, the candles created distorted shadows on the walls and cast an eerie light over the diner.

"Won't Celeste be back?" Rory asked nervously, not eager to bump into her for fear for her life.

"She's with mum. Those two love each other, they will be chatting for hours." Jess informed Rory has he put some coffee on.

"Finn will be wondering where I am. He'll probably be back at the apartment waiting for me." Rory said, feeling ill again.

"And what will you say to him?" Jess asked.

"I don't want to think about that yet." Rory said, standing up and walking around to meet Jess, "I just want to pretend, just for a little while, that you and I are simple." She reached up and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Simple…that would be nice." Jess said, then he kissed her again.