Shitshitshitshitshitrunrunru nrun!

I floundered through the maze of tunnels, heading in the general direction of the elevator but partially sure that I was, in fact, going the WRONG WAY. I could hear Envy behind me, gaining fast. It didn't really matter that he was going to catch me, but I had to get him as far away from the others as possible. I was providing them with enough time to get loose and get to the elevator. As well as banking on my watch to let me live once Mr. Miniskirt killed me.

There was another corner up ahead; if I could just round it, I'd bet that I'd- I skidded in my tracks, trying to backpedal as quickly as I did when I realized that the one babysitting job I had signed up for was with the biggest family of brats the world had ever seen. It was, with my luck, of course, a dead-freaking-end. I turned to run back down, but only got halfway through the motion before I was flung into the wall sideways, my right side smacking against it. For a minute, I wondered if he'd broken my vision when it turned black and then cleared.

"Have I mentioned how much I hate you?" He hissed, standing over me.

"Have I mentioned how much I can see from down here?" I shot back, trying to get up only to have my face intercepted with his foot kicking it painfully into the concrete. I slid back down, tasting blood.

"You're such a smartass," he mused, picking me up by the collar of my shirt as though I weighed nothing. With a fluid motion, he had me flying into the opposite wall, this time leaving a smear of blood as I went down.

"You're just…gonna bang me into…walls…this entire time?..." I coughed, feeling a spurt of blood gush up from between my chapped lips. "How…creative."

That remark was rewarded with his hand grabbing a fistful of my hair and slamming my head down onto the ground with enough force that I blacked out for a few seconds. I think a few teeth came loose, too. I managed to drag my own hand up to gingerly touch my face, feeling the sticky warmth of blood and the sting of new wounds. I didn't even feel any part that didn't hurt. My nose wasn't broken, though, so that was nice.

"I can use the floor, too," he replied carelessly. "It doesn't matter much to me. But I don't want you to die just yet." He picked me up again, propping me against the wall to cock his head and smile toothily. "I'm having too much fun."

Instantly, his tone set off alarm bells. He should be angry. He should be shouting and uttering death threats. Why is he so calm? I peeled open one of my eyes to watch him warily. There wasn't any sign of anger in his face. In fact, he looked smug, like he knew something I didn't.

He used his red lighting to turn one of the fingers on his free hand into a knife, dipping it into my cheek and dragging it down to my chin, horrendously slow. My face had been just about numb, so I had no idea that it would hurt so much; the nerve endings screaming in protest. If I'd had a bit more control over my body, I would've bit my lip or looked at him defiantly, but the only thing I could do was hitch my breath a little and watch as my vision darkened again.

"So what do you think we'll do to pass some time here?" he asked conversationally. "Maybe a little bit of fun with knives?" I felt his fist connect hard with my head, snapping it to the side. "Maybe a bit of bone breaking?" He shoved his knee into my gut, making me double over in pain with a loud groan. He let me slide off his leg, watching as I curled up on the pavement in the only defense I had left. I was choking on blood and the tears that threatened to break through the quiet, harshening gasps serving as breath.

Envy crouched down next to me, still talking. "I have to admit, I really love the sound of bones snapping. But I'll be a gentleman and let you decide. What do you suggest, girl?"

I swallowed hard, trying to lend my vocal cords to actual words rather than sobs of pain, which is what I really wanted to do. "What's going…on…?" I slurred, my mostly-broken face turning the words into something that sounded like I was drunk. "Why…"

"I'm having a pretty good day," he continued, "As for 'why', I'll fill you in." He stood, kicking me soundly in the ribs, which gave forth an audible crack. A high-pitched, keening whine burst from my lips and I doubled up further. "You see, we figured that you'd find some sort of way to escape." A vicious stomp was delivered to my knee, breaking it instantly. My mind was blank by then and I could only scream in pain. I'd never broken a bone before, and I was sure that there was no way I ever would, either. It hurts…

"While you could pretend to be hero, we'd separate you from the group." He grabbed my arm, twisting it in a way it was not supposed to go. Weakly, I tried to pry his hand off, but he threw it down and stood on it, grinding the fingers into the ground. "And I'd distract you while Lust and Gluttony finish them off."

Somewhere in the process, I'd begun crying, the tears making tracks through the blood. My breaths were now punctuated with pained-animal-sounds and sobs. It hurt so badly, I hoped he would just kill me. Please, just kill me, I silently begged with the small shred of my mind that existed.

He got up off my fingers and put his hands on his thin hips appraisingly. I would have curled up, if my body actually wanted to obey my commands, and if I could actually issue said commands. Instead, I just lay there, watching the corner of the wall and watching it swim around with the shadows hovering on the edge of my vision.

"What a nice view," Envy commented dryly. He bent down, picking me up again and leaning close, eye to eye. The movement nudged my broken leg and a shout tore from my throat again. "I love that sound." He tapped the side of my face with a slender hand, as though playfully slapping me. "Well come on, perk up."

I didn't react, and he laughed harshly. "Can't even heal yourself? How pathetic is that?" He let go, my limp body hitting the pavement and sending a jolt of fresh pain through me. The fall had hit me at just the right angle that my watch jangled a little.

"Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten about that," with a deft swipe, he'd grabbed the watch and held it up for me to see. "Did you ever figure out what this was for? I'm guessing something useful. Opening doors, maybe?"

I managed to breathe a little in reply, I think; good old, witty me. Envy gave me another sadistic grin and indifferently nudged the button on the side of the watch downwards, where it sounded another definitive 'click'. Instantly, that electric feeling was back in the air, and I could feel it coursing through me, more warm than painful. From the look on his face, it seemed he could feel it too.

"What the hell?" he snarled, trying to pull his hand back. But, as it had been with Ling, the watch was absolutely stuck. "What-" Suddenly, he went completely still and fell over limply, like a marionette with its strings cut. I stared at him, sucking up breaths like they were precious candies. Or banana pudding, my eternal obsession. God, how I would've killed for a bowl.

I reached forward, focusing all my mind on willing my arm to move towards him and thanking all the gods that he'd fallen in my direction rather than away. I don't think I would've survived that kind of disappointment. I curled my own hand around the watch, coughing and spitting out more blood. With another quick look at him, I dragged it back to rest it beside me, almost like it was a precious stuffed animal. Albeit, one that I was awfully frustrated with.

Dammit. What did this thing do?

As I watched him, Envy's chest moved, once. Tears again started tracking down my face again and I coughed miserably. I was tired, and hurting like hell, and what I had hoped might have knocked him out for the rest of the time may have just worked in his favor. Damn, I'm like Bad Luck Brian, aren't I? Slowly, groaning and holding his head like he had a massive headache, he sat up. He murmured something uncouth, then turned his head as though he'd just noticed that I was there.

"What-" He jumped, startled, his face clearly reading 'WTF' in all caps. "What are you doing here? How am I here? What the hell is going on?!" He paused for a minute, his surprise turning into an expression that didn't sit right in my gut. "And what's up with your face?" The end of that sentence was punctuated with a snort of some kind or another.

I couldn't reply. But he looked just fine, and if there was a chance I could get rid of the pain, I was taking it; whether I'd figured the stupid thing out or not. Determinedly, I pushed down on the button, the rush of electricity suddenly blinding. When it cleared and I could see again, the agony in my limbs was completely gone.

I got up slowly, reveling in how great 'not-pain' felt. I'm fine.

"Where's the Fullmetal brat?" Envy spat, reminding me that he still existed.

"Down the hall," I replied as casually as possible, rotating my leg gratefully. "Don't you remember? We took him in a few hours ago; it was priceless. He trusted me like an idiot and just walked right in. Did you have too much to drink or what?"

His face twisted into a grimace. "I don't believe that for a minute."

"Stupid," I huffed. "I joined you guys. Those goody-two shoes are so boring. I even helped you lock up his friends."

"Oh, yeah, then what was up with you being all banged up a minute ago? And what's the deal with the watch?" He pressed, stepping forward menacingly.

"You beat me up. To make it look convincing to the shorty that I was in real trouble, duh. And the watch is what I use to heal myself; Father gave me a Philosopher's Stone."

He glared at me, and for a minute, I seriously wondered whether or not he'd bought it. Then the muscle just above the edge of his lips twitched and I knew that my sorry-ass attempt had failed miserably. Fan-tucking-fastic. Without a word, he reached forward, grabbed my hair, nearly pulling it right out of my scalp, and began to walk down the hall in the direction of the main chamber.

I hissed at the sensation, but didn't bother protesting. Instead, I listened close to see if I could hear the others. If they were really in trouble, then I'd at least be able to hear them shouting, right? Right? Besides, I wasn't getting rid of Envy any time soon, and if he was going to take me in that general direction, it might be helpful. Plus, I was pretty sure that if I tried to fight him off, I'd get a replay of earlier and already I could feel my brain blocking it from memory. My leg still tingled slightly where he'd snapped it, but other than that, I felt fine. Later, I knew, I'd be figuring out this watch thing. Because not knowing was driving me up the wall crazy.

A/N: YES, my dear, beloved readers. You DID, in fact, wait that long for this piece of Shickt.

I apologize.

Young Reader: "My, the violence! Why, oh, why would you write such a horrible thing?"

Well, love, it's simple. I have been holding in the brutality. Reigning it in, as it were, trying so very hard not to get too carried away with evilties such as that. This is me finally deciding, 'I write this, I shall put as much violence in it as I so wish, dammit.'

Envy is OOC. I realize this. But it would've been worse if he'd believed me. Or if he'd suddenly noticed that my hair was the color of wheat basking in the sun and silkier than the richest sultan's turban, and my eyes the color of valentine's chocolates and the leaves of a willow tree during a mid-summer's night, suddenly realizing that the heart that he never knew he'd had was melting in my very prescence, leaning close to whisper softly…

"Write my character like that again and I'll tear your toenails out once-by-one and jam them into your eye sockets."

Le Romance~ Iz beautiful, no?

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