Aiyaa, I am so sorry for the (again) late chapter! ^^; See, this is what SG-chan gets when she tries to change her updating schedule dx This is the longest chappie to date though, if that makes up for it. Oh, and I had a great time at Anime Detour! I got an awesome USUK tote bag (the only pink thing I am proud of owning), some awesomely cute buttons, and a TOTALLY AWESOME USUK handmade/drawn fan. I got all these from Monobuu on Tumblr, and she might sell them online eventually, so go and buy her Hetalia stuff, cause she's got mochi mugs too. Just a plug for her totally awesome merchandise that seriously needs more attention ^^ To those of you who I met there, I had an awesome time hanging out with you and I hope to see you there next year!
Anyway, I just have a warning for you all before you read this chapter.
You're probably thinking, "Warning? I thought the sex wasn't supposed to be posted on this site?" Well, you're right ya pervs (ha, like SG-chan isn't one herself x3), but this is different. This chapter contains what really started this whole story, and I hope y'all don't lynch me for putting it in here. Like, seriously, don't kill me for this, and if you do stop reading the story because of this, well then, I'll be sad. So anyway, warning has been given, go ahead and enjoy the chappie!
Also, stich'n'bitch.
Just saying ;)
The language key's disappeared again; I highly suspect it's hooking up with the anonymous reviews…
A week or so passed over which the Daily Prophet had a field day with the attack on Hogsmeade, and once again the current administration was brought under fire, for not only allowing such a force of Death Eaters to go nearly uncombated, but that they were able to come that close to the most populous school in magical Britain. The paper said that it was a miracle that those injured besides Death Eaters were few, and that the criminals themselves had been subdued by the professors who had been chaperoning the trip. The Quibbler ran an accompanying article about how a legendary warrior had come to the rescue of the students, and it wouldn't be long before others of such caliber appeared by way of a blue box.
Funnily enough, there had been sightings in Diagon Alley lately of a mysterious blue box which disappeared and reappeared quite randomly.
In any case, only a few people knew of the slight vacation Professor Kirkland's sanity had gone on (if it had even been there to begin with), so naturally the entire school knew about it by the next day. The students in his classes had been given a study hall period as Arthur was examined by Madame Pomfrey and a mind healer she trusted to keep the session confidential. Arthur had protested, saying that there was nothing wrong with him (at which Heracles had started snickering and then almost gotten strangled, the poor chap), but soon quieted down as he realized that protesting and making even more violent threats against Greece did not help his case in the least bit.
He supposed it was just as well that he'd given into his baser seafaring instincts, otherwise he'd have been sent to Azkaban for using 'Dark' magicks, and he really didn't want to have to kill any dementors; the things were hard enough to tame as it was. Besides, it wasn't as if being thought crazy was new to him. All the other nations who didn't believe in magic and/or couldn't see magical creatures believed him insane, though they'd never tried to lock him up for it beyond the time he'd gotten pissed beyond all belief and thought that the ATM machine had been a Dalek – ah, good times. All in all however, by the time Friday rolled around he was just slightly annoyed to receive a message reminding him of the meeting the upcoming day that apparently everyone had decided he would be hosting this time.
The following afternoon – Saturday – Arthur was fuming as he hurriedly cleaned up his quarters (not that they were messy or anything, he was just too much of a gentleman not to make sure everything was spic and span!).
"Who's coming?" Peter asked.
Ah yes, and England had intended to use today to start teaching the micronat – fort – how to sense the basic energy of other nations before this damn meeting had come to his attention. He might as well kill two birds with one stone then. "The Italies, Liechtenstein, and probably Finland," he replied. "Poland usually comes too, but he and Lithuania are off doing… something." He waved his hand to indicate 'something'.
…Okay, and so maybe he had just the tiniest soft spot and thought it'd be good for Peter to see his Papa. Maybe.
"Don't you have to have permission for people to come here or something?" Peter wondered as he caught a tray that had suddenly appeared in mid-air. While he hadn't quite gotten used to the fact that his youngest older brother had faeries following him about (and seriously, they were invisible too!), he was managing.
"Officially it's being marked as a diplomatic visit," Arthur said. "That's what Denmark and Norway's showing up out-of-the-blue was passed off as. It's handy sometimes, I guess, that Albus is known as the leader of a not-so-secret vigilante group."
Peter nodded in slight understanding. Sure he may have been over 50 years old, but he usually left the politics to his prince. "So when are they going to get here?" The question was barely out of his mouth when the flames in the fireplace flared.
"I'm not too late, am I?" Liechtenstein asked as she gracefully stepped through.
"No, not considering the time differences," England grumbled. "I do wish you'd all given me some more time to prepare; my colleagues all think that I'm insane, I'll have you know."
"Oh dear, that's not good at all," the girl frowned worriedly.
"It's nothing new," Arthur waved his hand slightly. "I do my job well and that's all that matters right now."
"And how are you doing Peter?" Lilli asked the boy as she pulled up a chair to sit in.
"Well, classes are okay, though I did get in trouble for going out last weekend." Peter directed a glare towards Arthur, whose back was turned towards them as he put away some books.
"You could have gotten yourself killed!" the former empire rebuked, still facing away from them.
"I'm a nation too; I'm not that easy to kill!"
"Three and a goat Peter," Arthur retorted angrily as he whirled to face him. "You're a fort, a micronation at best; you're not as invincible as you like yourself to believe."
"U-um, maybe we shouldn't fight," Lilli stuttered. "I-I brought the quilt we were working on last time!"
"Oh, thank you." Arthur sat down on a chair he conjured up next to Lilli's and took one end of the quilt. "If I recall, I left off in the corner," he said as Lilli handed him one of the sewing kits she had brought with her.
Peter merely stared at the two in disbelief. "This is what you guys do at your meetings?"
"Mr. Poland calls it a 'stitch'n'bitch'," Lilli offered helpfully.
"Man, I thought you guys would be discussing super important stuff!" Sealand pouted as he sat on the floor.
"Sometimes we do, but more often than not we just relax," Arthur informed him rather pompously. "It's nice not to have to deal with too many idiots."
"Oh dear, I'm not the first one here this time!" Finland laughed as he came through the flames.
"Papa!" Peter exclaimed, throwing himself at the easternmost Nordic and hugging him tightly.
"O-oh, hello Peter!" Tino chuckled as he hugged the boy back. "Hello Arthur, Lilli."
"Good afternoon," the Englishman nodded.
"Guten tag," Lilli smiled. "Did you bring your own project with you, or will you be working with Mr. England and me?"
"I think I'll help you work on the quilt," Tino decided.
"Who's it for anyway?" Peter wondered as he walked with his Papa over to the others.
"Oh, this one is going to be for Prussia and Canada for their anniversary," Tino told him.
"The idiot at least knows to treat Matthew well," England muttered as he painstakingly began to cross-stitch a maple leaf in the corner. "Though if he steps so much as one centimeter out of line I'll have his guts for garters." The slightly unhinged look in his eyes was back, and Finland and Liechtenstein exchanged worried glances.
"Why would you want garters though?" Peter wondered innocently. "Aren't they women's clothing?"
Arthur scowled as Lilli giggled. "It's an expression; contrary to any rumors I am most certainly not a woman, nor do I dress like one."
"He's just expressing his distaste for Prussia through a wish for violence," Tino explained. 'Though I'm sure he won't, right?"
Under the Nordic's knowing glare Arthur sighed. "Not anytime soon."
"Should we put a beaver on here?" Lilli asked as she tilted her head to look at the currently three foot by four foot quilt.
"Well, haven't we already got Canada's bear on there?" Tino asked as he leaned over the quilt.
Arthur shook his head. "I don't think so.
Off to the side, Sealand pouted slightly. When That Jer – Arthur had said he was going to have this meeting, he'd imagined something a bit more momentous, as well as fun. Sure there was a lot of stitching, but the three nations present besides himself were very mild-mannered (most of the time – he shuddered when he remembered the one time that lady had been hitting on Daddy Sve), so there was really no sign of any bitching, even if Poland had been there – His musings were cut short as the fireplace flared again.
"I told you fratello, it wasn't 'Eyebrow Bastard's place'!" Veneziano fretted.
"Shut up!" Romano growled as he picked himself off the floor. "All this is your fault anyway."
"V-ve? W-what did I ever do to make you hate me so much? I love you fratello, I do; you're so nice and helpful, and big brother Spain really loves you too –"
"Will you shut up?" Romano snapped.
"Ve~," Veneziano whined, his eyes tearing up.
"Hello Feliciano," Lilli greeted, hugging the northern half of Italy tightly.
"Ve, hello!" His attitude did a complete 180.
"Hello Lovino."
The elder Italy didn't return her greeting, instead asking, "Does your brother know you're here this time?"
"Oh yes; I'm sorry about last time. He thinks I'm over at Miss Hungary's, and she can corroborate it, so you don't have to worry about bruder coming after you again with a high-powered assault rifle," Liechtenstein informed him happily.
"Small favors," Lovino muttered to himself.
Ah, there's the bitching, Sealand thought to himself.
"Oh wow, we're working on Canada and Prussia's quilt?" Feliciano exclaimed. "It's going to look so cute when we're done!"
"Would anyone like some food?" England asked. "I can get the House Elves to make some, since you're all coming from a couple hours ahead of us."
"Can I have something too?" Peter piped up.
"You'll ruin your dinner," Arthur denied him.
"Oh, surely it'll be all right just this once," Tino chuckled. "It is the weekend after all."
"Thanks Papa!" Sealand hugged him tightly. He couldn't resist sticking his tongue out at Arthur over Tino's shoulder.
The Englishman scowled before saying, "So will any of you be having anything? Veneziano, you'll be having pasta, right?"
"Ah, no thanks," the Italian declined.
* Meanwhile, thousands of miles away…*
A dashing young man wearing an equally dashing bowtie stopped in the middle of lifting a couch.
"Um, Doctor?" a slightly plain-looking but extremely loyal man asked from the other end. "Could you move?" There was no movement, and Rory shuffled awkwardly to keep the couch from slipping and landing on his foot. "Doctor?"
The man with the bowtie blinked suddenly. "Oh, I'm sorry, I was elsewhere. You know, it's funny, but I could've sworn the Earth stopped for a second…"
*Back to Hogwarts*
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Oh, I'm not hungry for pasta," Feliciano replied cheerfully to England's query. "Do you have some pickles? And maybe some chocolate blueberry pancakes with salsa!"
"All right, what the fuck has that potato bastard been doing to you?" Lovino shouted as he took hold of his brother's shoulders and shook him.
"Ve- ve~, nothing more than the usual," Feli's teeth chattered. "Like – "
"If it has anything to do with sex I don't want to hear it," Lovino said quickly. His face turned beet red as his brother said nothing more. "That potato bastard's corrupted you," he muttered angrily.
"Don't you say such things!" Feliciano screeched. "Germany's been nothing but kind and caring and helpful – well, there was the one time in 1943, but he forgave me for that!" The rapid turn from pissed off to thoughtful was artfully executed in such a way that only an Italian could have managed. "But don't say such things about Germany! He's really quite sweet."
Everyone just stared at Veneziano for a moment before England said slowly, "So you don't want anything to eat then."
"Hmm, now that I think about it, not really," the Italian replied thoughtfully. He then sat down next to Liechtenstein's chair and began to cheerfully hum under his breath as he examined the quilt.
"S-so, do any of you…?" England's question trailed off nervously as he tried not to stare in confusion at the back of Veneziano's head.
"I'm fine for now," Lilli replied, a thoughtful expression on her face as she observed Feliciano.
"S-some cookies or something might be nice," Tino suggested with a twitchy smile.
"Yeah, cookies or something," Romano agreed, slightly skittish as if his brother might go off at any second.
"Dray. Dray!"
"Blaise, if you don't stop shaking me I'm going to slowly eviscerate you," the blond enunciated far too precisely for someone who'd just been awoken.
"Geez, pent up anger much? Anyway, that's not the point. There's something really important I need to tell you."
This got Draco's attention and he sat up, his anger at his afternoon nap (research for dark mysterious purposes was tiring work!) being disturbed taking the back burner for now. "When you say it like that it must be at least somewhat deserving of my attention. What's gotten your outer drama queen in dramatics now?"
"Merlin you're a prick," Blaise pouted. "You could at least pretend you care!"
"If you didn't act like this most of the time I wouldn't have to," Draco drawled. "Now what did you think was so important you had to wake me?"
"I'm leaving you my will."
The two stared at each other in silence for a moment before Draco rolled back over.
"I'm going back to sleep."
"Hey, hey, don't!" Blaise dragged him back up. "I'm serious!"
"And I'm going to be seriously pissed off if you don't get to the point," the blond glowered.
"Okay, fine, I'll give you the rundown," the Italian pouted. "I'm leaving you my books, my wand, and my stuffed penguin, Mr. Pasta."
"Wh-what, why do you have a stuffed penguin, and furthermore, why is he called 'Mr. Pasta'?" Draco asked bewilderingly.
"Cause Mama likes penguins for some obscure reason and my uncle's always force-feeding me different kinds of pasta," Blaise replied. "Now, there is the small chance I might be able to get away, but if I don't, well… I've always loved you Draco."
"Please tell me you mean that platonically."
"Of course I do. Probably. But if it turns out he's not just after me and he gets you too, remember that I will fight for you until my heart stops beating." Blaise laid one hand on Draco's shoulder and the other over his heart.
"One," Draco said slowly, pushing Blaise's hands away, "stop being so touchy feely, you know I don't like it; two, stop hiding in the wardrobe Pansy, you're never going to get your photos, and three, what the hell brought this all on?"
"Well," Blaise sat back with a thoughtful expression, completely ignoring Pansy as she stalked out of the room muttering something about setting up more cameras, "you know how I had that minor panic attack when Professor Kirkland first started teaching?"
"I wouldn't call it minor as your eyes were completely blanked out, but yes," Draco nodded.
"Well, see, Mamma's got some family ties to organized crime, and Signore Vargas is always acting what she calls 'tsundere', so since he came over all the time when I was a kid I developed what I like to call my 'tsundere-meter'," Blaise explained. "Professor Kirkland seriously tripped it, but I've gotten used to it."
"I'm going to regret asking this, but what's a 'soon-dare-ay', and why are you all freaked out now?"
"One, it's 'tsundere'. And, well," Blaise licked his lips nervously then leaned in and continued in a whisper. "See, about fifteen minutes ago the levels of tsundere in the castle at least tripled. The only person I know who has that much tsundere-ness about him is Signore Vargas, and I can only assume he's here for my head."
"What is he, some sort of immortal headhunter?" Draco scoffed. "Pansy, get out from under the bed! Honestly," he tutted as the girl retreated again, "I could handle her stalking me, but I don't understand what her recent obsession with you and me is. At least she doesn't think I've got the hots for Potter like Nott seems to think."
"Do you?" Blaise asked curiously. At the returning glare he flinched slightly. "Okay, got it, definitely no crush on Potter." He stood, brushing imaginary dust off his shirt front. "Well, I go to meet my doom. Take good care of Mr. Pasta please."
"Yeah, I'll take good care of him until you come back after missing curfew and you realize what a bunch of rubbish it was," Draco called out after him.
"So, how's everyone been since July?" Arthur asked in an effort to raise the awkward silence that had ensued. Well, awkward for everyone except Feliciano, who was happily humming away as if nothing had happened.
"Pretty good; Sve and I started planning a project," Tino said.
"Ooh! What is it? Is it for me?" Peter exclaimed.
"Maybe, but you didn't hear that from me," the Nordic put a finger to his lips in a 'shush' motion.
"We had a skirmish a month or so ago with some of Mr. England's magical terrorists," Liechtenstein informed them. "Bruder was busy so I took care of them. Did your law enforcement have any trouble with them?" she asked Arthur.
"No, no trouble at all," he replied. "Have they made any more advances on your or Switzerland's borders?"
"No, it seems they've learned their lesson," Lilli smiled angelically.
"Nothing much here; just working, making sure that idiot Spain doesn't kill himself from idiocy and making sure my sister doesn't do anything stupid concerning her brat," Lovino drawled as he frowned at the quilt the other three were working on while Feliciano and Peter were playing with cards.
"Oh!" Feliciano's head shot up. "Speaking of which, everybody, I have a big announcement!"
"No more watching Legally Blonde for you," Lovino scolded.
"Aww, but it's a good movie!" Veneziano pouted. "Anyway, I've got big news to tell you all!"
"If it's anything concerning that potato bastar –"
"I'm pregnant!"
It's all right Blaise; hopefully it won't be too painful, and if it is, well, women give birth all the time and they survive! Except you won't be surviving. Geez, did he have a Negative Nancy for a subconscious or what? As he stopped to mentally smack himself upside the head, he suddenly got arctic-level chills down his back. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to go back to the dungeons, Blaise thought as he backtracked the way he'd come. After all, it is the unwritten Slytherin code that discretion is the better part of valor or some shit like that, right?
"I'm going to fucking murder that potato bastard!" Romano was practically foaming at the mouth.
"Ve, I told you not to fratello!"
"I don't care, I'm going to fucking murder him!" The southern half of Italy seethed as he kicked and squirmed against Finland, who had a surprisingly strong grip.
"Calm down Lovino!" Lilli soothed as she nudged Peter to the side.
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't think that's quite possible, even for us!" Arthur peered suspiciously at Feliciano.
"Ve, but it's the truth! Germany didn't believe me either, but we went to go visit China, cause he's had that sort of thing happen before, and he said it was true!" Veneziano insisted.
"Wait, when was China knocked up?" Lovino spared a moment of aggression for asking.
"It did not involve me, thank you, Hong Kong actually did pop up out of nowhere," England retorted to the unasked question.
"I'm still going to kill that potato bastard! He soiled my brother's innocence!"
"Fratello, you do know me and Ludwig have been having sex since the '30s?"
"Gack, don't say it! The fucking bastard, I'm going to rip off his nonexistent moustache and feed it to him once I've got him strung up!"
"Don't you dare touch Germany!"
"I'll do whatever the fuck I like!"
"Whether you try to hurt Ludwig or not, stop fighting!" Tino shouted to be heard over the Italians. "And I'd also thank you to stop swearing in front of Peter!" The temperature of the room went down a couple notches as Tino glared at the other occupants of the room minus Peter.
"Um, there's someone at the door," Lilli observed as the sound of knocking grew louder.
"Shit," Arthur muttered, not even bothering with an apology to Tino as he stalked to the portrait doorway. "Yes?" he asked.
"Good afternoon Arthur," Dumbledore greeted jovially. Arthur almost groaned as he saw McGonagall was with him.
"I'm sorry if there was too much noise or something," he said wearily. "I was just about to make Lovino and Feliciano leave anyway!" He called the last bit over his shoulder to where the others were still standing around, though Lilli was poking at Feliciano's stomach.
"It certainly doesn't seem like it," she was saying.
"Well, most pregnancies don't start showing until later on, especially if it's your first one," Veneziano replied cheerfully. "I'm really looking forward to having a little one around the house; maybe Ludwig will loosen up a bit at meetings then."
"If anything he'll probably get more stressed," Lilli chuckled.
"I'm still going to kill the potato bastard," Romano growled as he shrugged Tino off.
"Do that and I'll be forced to go 1923 on your ass fratello," Veneziano said in a sing-song tone that gave everyone the chills.
"…Fine," Romano muttered after a tense moment. "Anything to get away from these wizard…" He paused for a moment before he wrinkled his nose in Albus and Minerva's direction. "…nerds."
Blaise gave an audible sigh of relief as he felt the almost unbearable amount of tsundere leave the castle.
"What did I tell you?" Draco smirked, an amused quirk to his mouth.
"Shut up," Blaise muttered, a pout marring his expression. "And gimme back Mr. Pasta."
Okay, the whole stich'n'bitch spawned one day when I was writing down random headcanons in one of my notebooks, and I wrote this: "Switzerland spent a whole week putting up an elaborate security system on Liech's house when she finally moved out of his place," followed by, "The security system was dismantled in one night when she invited England, Italy (both), Finland and Poland over for their bimonthly sitch'n'bitch," followed by, "The PFIILE stitch'n'bitch is most responsible for the world's efforts against global warming, as well as world peace and hunger – they get more done than G8 meetings normally do."
And there you have it. Just to clarify, the whole mpreg scenario isn't random, it was in my mind from the beginning of the story, and apart from Christmas, Valentine's Day and the final battle, this was the chapter I most anticipated writing. There's also reasons why only Sicily, Veneziano and China are the only nations to have been recorded getting pregnant.
Also, yay for Slytherin being yaoi fangirls! ^^ Anyone who can tell me what Blaise was getting his "fighting for you" quote, you will get cookies!
Ha, random Doctor interlude x3 Don't ask what he and Rory were moving the couch for, cause I don't know B|
I hope no one hates me forever now, or will give up this story. It might seem like a petty fear to you, but I know a lot of people like to put mpreg in stories just cause it's "the cool thing" to do, or just for kicks. I'm not one of those people (hopefully ^^;).
Happy early Easter, and don't forget to review ^_^