Chapter 21: I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues

It had been almost two weeks since Rose last saw Sage and the days seemed to be getting longer and harder to bear. Sage was taken to the therapist after it had been decided that he was too mentally unstable to be in the care of a trainer and Rose hadn't been the same person since. Getting up out of bed every morning was hard for her and if it weren't for the fact that she was a guest staying at the house, she would stay in bed all day without talking to anyone. Delilah was the only one who seemed to get her through the day. She took Rose out shopping almost every other day just to get her out of the house. She could have cared less for going out places. Though Celadon City had a lot to offer, it was also too big for her liking. A younger Rose would have been amazing with everything in it, but without Sage by her side, it was hard to enjoy anything at all. She would have much rather sat out on Delilah's back porch by herself and played guitar all night long, but Delilah didn't seem to get that and continued hounding her about getting out and going places.

Jack was a little more bearable with a new addition to the house. He behaved a little better when Rose was around and stopped breathing down Delilah's neck so much. When Rose was out of earshot, however, he made the same ridiculing comments as usual – everything from her weight to the clothes she wore and at one point the way she sat at the dinner table. She always ignored the remarks, not wanting Rose to know what was going on between them and what she had to go through day to day with him. He even said things about Rose when she wasn't around, questioning as to why she was so damn scrawny and why she always wore long sleeves when it was summer. Delilah ignored this as well and said nothing to him. Alicia made up for it, however, by spoiling Rose everyday – cooking her meals whenever she got the chance and offering her money for shopping without Jack's knowing. Rose had always tried to tell Alicia that she was all set money-wise, but she continued to be her overly generous self anyway.

Delilah, with every chance she got, tried to make Rose feel better by helping her catch a new pokemon to keep her company for a while, seeing as Delilah had three pokemon with her and it just wasn't fair. Rose never accepted the offer, however. She saw it as one of those things when you were young and your puppy ran away, your mom would turn and say "Well, we'll just have to get you a new puppy." It just didn't work that way. She didn't want a new Sage; she wanted her Sage.

The nights were spent staying up and staring out the window at the many stars dotting the dark sky, worrying over what Sage was doing and hoping he was okay. Since there were no guest rooms in the house, Rose had to sleep in Delilah's bed, which was more than big enough to fit two people. This was a very good thing, seeing as Rose didn't want to deal with the awkward closeness. But it seemed as though they were distant again, as if they had just met. Delilah never treated Rose as more than an acquaintance like she had in the past. It was as though she was reconsidering everything and trying to keep her distance. Why would she do that?

This one particular night, however, Rose decided to test the waters a bit to see what was up. "Have you ever been in love?" asked Rose casually after the usual stretch of silence between them. She knew that question was way "out there", but she had to think of something so she could slowly ease into the topic she'd been wanting to talk about. She stared at the blank white ceiling above her head. The entire house was painted white. She was sick of white.

"What kind of question is that?" asked Delilah as she propped her head up with one hand. It was easy for Rose to look her straight in the face for once, seeing as it was quite dark in the room.

"I just wanted to know" responded Rose. "We don't have a lot of deep conversations anymore. I kinda missed it."

"Well I can tell you right now, I never loved anyone but my mom."

"Not even any guys?" Rose asked, turning to Delilah.

"Guys??" Delilah said with a laugh. "Guys are a joke. I've been with one guy and I didn't like it. I've been gay ever since."

"Woah, really??" She immediately sat up, shocked at Delilah's openness about the subject.

"Well, yeah. Why are you so surprised? Are you some kind of homophobe?"

"No of course not! I… Well, um… I'm gay too." She trailed off, not at all used to talking about her sexuality with anyone but Sage. Most people would think it was strange that she talked to her pokemon about that sort of thing, but Sage was understanding and didn't judge. He took everything she said in stride and did the best to support her no matter what.

"So what about you?" asked Delilah with a raised eyebrow.

"What about me what?" Rose asked, forgetting what they had originally been talking about.

"Have you ever been in love?"

The question took some thought. Rose didn't want to word it wrong and she certainly didn't want to just jump into it. Finally, she responded: "I think I have. I'm not sure. There's this girl I like, but I don't know if it's love or not…" Was that too suspicious? Delilah nodded and looked like she was also thinking deeply, which made Rose wish she could read minds. Delilah was such a mysterious, unreadable person who didn't seem to like sharing any of her life with others.

"Does she know?" Delilah asked after a couple minutes.

"I doubt it…" said Rose. "But it's so confusing sometimes. Some days, she's so nice to me and it seems like she feels the same way. But other days she has this… attitude that annoys me. I just can't understand her." Delilah was silent for a moment, then turned away from Rose and laid down.

"Did I say something wrong…?"

"No, you didn't. I'm really tired all of a sudden. We can talk about it in the morning or something."

Confused, Rose laid back down and stared at the ceiling again. She looked over at Delilah, whose breathing was getting shallow as she fell asleep. Rose sighed and turned away from her, not knowing what else to say or do. Maybe Delilah knows how she feels and was offended by what she had said. Or maybe she just feels awkward about the topic, seeing as she'd never been in love before. Or was she really just too tired to talk about it anymore? Rose couldn't stand thinking about it anymore, so she tried to get comfortable and fall asleep. After staring at the wall for nearly an hour, reality was finally slipping away and a dream was working its way into her mind. The last thing she remembered before falling asleep was a warm, protective arm wrapped tightly around her body.

Morning came with its usual obnoxiously bright sunlight and the sounds of pokemon both wild and tame. Rose yawned loudly and stretched, still a bit tired. She stayed where she was, waiting for Delilah to wake up before getting out of bed. She hated being up and getting breakfast before her, seeing as it wasn't even her house. At the foot of the bed, Jade was curled up in a little ball. Her ears twitched as they picked up the sounds of a new day. Rose looked to her left at Delilah and noticed her arm draped over her body. What was this all about? Again, she felt confused, but decided to just shrug it off. She gave up thinking so much about it.

Finally, after laying there for about twenty minutes, Delilah woke up. She stretched and sat up, looking around her room as though she didn't know where she was. Then she looked behind her at Rose still laying there. "Morning" she said shortly as she stood up slowly and slipped on her favorite pair of slippers. Rose got up as well and accepted an extra pair of slippers from Delilah, then followed her downstairs to the kitchen.

"You know, I think we should go out to eat today" Delilah said as they made their way down the stairs.

"Sure. Fine by me" Rose said with a sigh, as usual. She didn't mind (and actually preferred) staying there at the house to hang out for the day. They almost never stayed inside and Rose was sick of all the moving around.

"Would you rather not?" Delilah asked, picking up the hint of exasperation.

Rose shrugged. "Doesn't matter either way."

Delilah shrugged too as she continued walking down the stairs to where Alicia was sitting at the table. Her husband had already left for work, to Delilah's relief. "We're going out to eat breakfast today" said Delilah as she gave her mother a hug.

"Just be careful out there, please" she nearly begged. Ever since the incident at Team Rocket H.Q., she had been taking extra care to make sure her daughter didn't get into anymore trouble. "Take Jade with you too" she also said. Delilah nodded and went upstairs to wake her pokemon up.

Rose was left with Alicia and felt awkward, not knowing what to say to her. She wasn't a very good conversation starter. To break the silence, Alicia said "It's a really nice day today." Rose only responded with a nod. "Are you going back to the department store? I hear there's a sale today."

"Maybe" Rose said with a shrug.

"Or you could always go to the Game Corner and play some games for a day" she continued. "I can give you the money for it."

"I have money ma'am" Rose said politely. She said it politely, but in reality she was getting sick of being offered so many things by Alicia. She had her own money; she didn't need it from other people. She still had the money she had gotten for helping capture the first batch of Team Rocket members, and an extra 2,000 or so was added for finding the Boss (whose name they found out to be Giovanni). That was more than enough to get her through probably the entire rest of the year, seeing as she had only spent about 100 this week alone. She didn't need many possessions to make her happy; she had her guitar and hopefully Sage soon. That was all she needed.

Delilah finally came back downstairs with Jade hopping down the stairs after her. She looked excited to be going out as if she hadn't been out in a week, which confused Rose since they had all gone out almost every day this week. She mentally shrugged it off, grabbed her guitar from the couch where she had left it, and slipped a pair of shoes on. Delilah did the same and then led the way outside.

"You think you're gonna die or something if you don't bring that thing everywhere?" asked Delilah, pointing at the instrument.

Something clicked in Rose's mind that made her suddenly angry. "This THING is pretty much the only damn friend I have left!" she snapped back. Surprised, Delilah didn't say a single word to her even as they went to the small café and then browsed the department store later on. Rose felt more than sorry that she had burst out like that, but wasn't sure how to apologize or even if she'd accept the apology. She didn't even know why she snapped like that. Maybe she was just sick of Delilah's constant sarcasm. The rest of the afternoon was spent in angry and awkward silence until Rose finally decided to go off on her own. She sat down on the edge of the fountain outside the store and strummed lazily on her guitar as she watched the people walk past her. No one seemed to take any notice of her, which was perfectly fine by her. She needed the space.

Looking down the road to the east, Rose saw a little girl and her puppy pokemon happily making their way along the path to the store. When the girl got closer, a sense of familiarity struck her. The girl was holding a Rattata in her arms like it was some kind of doll, but then there was that black puppy trotting behind her. Where had she seen that before? Rose stood up to get a better look, setting her guitar down carefully against the stone monument. The girl saw Rose and skipped happily up to her and gave her a grin that had a tooth missing.

"I remember you!" she exclaimed. "You were the girl at Pewter City playing that guitar and I was in the crowd near the gym and I told you I was gonna try to beat the gym leader there!" Like before, she said the entire sentence in one breath and looked a little flushed from it.

Rose laughed when she finally remembered who the little girl was. "Oh wow, Danielle? I haven't seen you in forever."

"What happened to Sage, the little blue pokemon? Is he at home? Where do you live anyway?"

"Sage isn't here right now. Maybe you'll see him in a couple of weeks. A friend of mine is taking care of him." It was shocking, the kinds of things little kids will so easily believe. "My home is here for now. It's not actually my home. My… friend's home, I guess."

"Look at my new Houndour!" said Danielle, greatly changing the subject. She pointed to the puppy behind her, which only had… three legs? "I adopted her! Well, my mommy adopted her, but she's mine and I got to name her. Her name is Melyssa. Not Melissa, like, with an 'i' because everyone spells it like that. It's Melyssa with a 'y'. Isn't that cool??" She seemed a little too excited as she bounced up and down on her heels. Little kids must come with built-in springs or something.

Where had Rose seen that pokemon before though? She knew she had seen a Houndour somewhere on her journey… How else could she tell that it was a Houndour? She had to suppress a gasp when she suddenly remembered the first day of her journey, when she came across the injured Houndour on the road to Pewter City. She had to stay at the Pokemon Center and the nurse said she might have to have her leg amputated. This must have been that same Houndour. Besides, how many other female Houndour out there had three legs? Rose jumped when Delilah had suddenly popped up behind her to add to the conversation.

"Hey there kiddo, long time no see" she said to Danielle. "I see our Houndour's found a home."

"Your Houndour?" asked Danielle in amazement. "Were you the one who brought her to the adoption place?"

"Yep" responded Delilah. She was in an unusually bouncy mood all of a sudden, which sort of scared Rose. Did she have bi-polar or something? "We found her hurt in the road so we rescued her" she continued. Jade was sitting on the edge of the fountain, peering curiously at her reflection and trying to smell the "other" Nidoran.

"Wow, that's so cool!" Danielle said as she bounced up and down again. "I wanna stay here and talk a lot, but my mommy sent me here to get her something at the store and I don't wanna keep her waiting. I'll be back though." And with that, she skipped away in the direction of the store and disappeared inside with Melyssa.

"So what was that all about?" asked Rose suspiciously.

"What was what?" Delilah responded with her arms crossed and a smirk on her lips.

"Why are you so happy all of a sudden? You should be mad at me."

"Why?" It was almost as though Delilah was toying with her. She still had that damned smirk on her face.

"I yelled at you and I shouldn't have" said Rose, not finding any of this as amusing as Delilah apparently did. "I'm sorry."

"Well, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Yeah, I was a little angry at first, but then I started thinking about it a bit. Sit down." She gestured toward the fountain and they both sat on the stony edge on either side of the guitar. "I do consider myself your friend you know, as much as I don't show it." She said it quietly, as if she was too shy to say what she needed to say. "It's just… I do get an attitude, yes, but that's like… Ugh, I don't even know what I'm saying." For once, Delilah was the one blushing, but she looked around her to hide it as much as she could. Rose saw it, however, and got up to sit right next to her.

"I'm listening" Rose said, looking right into Delilah's emerald eyes.

"Well… I guess the reason I act so uptight is because it's sort of a defense mechanism for me. I was bullied a lot in school and a lot of my so-called friends fucked with me, so it's hard to trust people. It's just a habit that I'm trying to break. But I do see you as my first and only true friend and it kinda hurt to hear you say that this guitar is your only friend left." She looked at the instrument in question, then back at Rose.

"Well, you had me confused at first" Rose said awkwardly, not used to speaking her mind much. "When we first met, no offense, you acted like… like such a bitch." (Delilah had to laugh at how blunt she was being when she said this.) "But then all of a sudden you were really nice to me that… um… that day we watched the sunset together. Then you were back to being bitchy and I didn't know if you were just tugging me around or what. If you want to be friends, then say something and at least act like it. But if not, you might as well leave me alone instead of confusing me so much." After a while, it seemed so much easier to talk to Delilah. Maybe all Rose needed was to get everything off her chest first.

"I'll be your friend if you still want me to be."

Rose was silent for only a moment, then said "Sure" with a smile. Delilah smiled as well and gave her a hug, happy to have been able to fix things. They sat there in silence for a moment until Delilah finally spoke up.

"Aren't you going to play your guitar?" she asked.

"Well… I'm not all that good. And I can't just… play for people. If the inspiration comes, then I act on it… That didn't sound corny, did it?"

Delilah laughed. "Nope, not at all." There was a small smirk on her face as she said this though. Rose scoffed and looked away from her.

"I think we should get going kid" Delilah said suddenly. "We've been out all day and you're burnt to a crisp. Freakin' vampire."

Rose ignored the comment as usual and stood up, stretching a bit to crack her back and then grabbing her guitar. Delilah got up as well and led the way, as usual, back to her house. "So…" she began as they were walking. "Why do you wear long sleeves in the summer?"

Rose looked at her confusedly and then said "Well… I get cold easily, that's all…"

"Or do you have something to hide…?" asked Delilah with a suspicious look.

"What the hell would I be hiding, drugs?"

"Well, let's see…" She made a grab for her arm, which was promptly dodged.

"What the hell Delilah??" Rose yelled as she backed away, but she was smiling. Jade looked confusedly from Rose to Delilah, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Jeez, I'm just kidding" said Delilah. Just then, a playful smirk appeared on her face as she ran after Rose.

"Shit!" she said as she was chased all the way back to Delilah's house. Jade bounded along as fast as she could to keep up with them. People stared as they ran up the street, weaving in and out of buildings as Rose tried to get away. They finally appeared at the back door of the house, flushed and laughing like a couple of little kids. This had to have been the hardest Rose had laughed in years as well as the happiest she had ever been.

"Mom, we're home!" Delilah said as she kicked off her shoes and left them near the door. Rose did the same and followed Delilah into the living room. Alicia was sitting comfortably on the couch reading a newspaper.

"How was it?" she asked. "You look awfully happy." She smiled at the fact that she got to see her daughter so happy for once.

"It was really fun" responded Delilah as she plopped down on the couch. Rose did the same, not wanting to be rude by making herself at home without Delilah doing so first.

"So what did you buy?" asked Delilah as she picked up a coffee mug from the little table near the couch and sipping from it. "Assuming you went to the department store again."

"Mostly clothes" Rose said.

"That's good" Alicia said with a smile. "You two should wash up. I bet you've been sweating like dogs out there." Rose and Delilah looked at one another and laughed. "But your father is probably going to take a shower when he gets home. You might have to share to save water."

Rose's eyes widened and she didn't think she heard correctly at first. Delilah, however, had taken it in stride as usual. "Alright, we can do that" she said, getting up from the couch. Is she being serious?? Rose got up slowly and followed Delilah upstairs.

"You should have seen your face" she said to Rose as they went into the bedroom to grab some clothes.

"You're seriously going to do it??" asked Rose. It wasn't that she was awkward about showering with her. She was more concerned with the fact that Delilah just didn't care.

"We're both girls, I'm sure its fine" Delilah responded as she threw Rose a spare shirt and pair of pants. "Unless you have something I don't have."

"I'm pretty sure I don't" said Rose.

"Besides, we're a pair of dirty lesbos. We need some cleaning up." Rose, confused with Delilah's behavior once again, followed her to the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

"Um… Does your mom know about you? You know…" Rose said, trailing off a bit.

"Yeah, she's fine with it. She's very open. I think this is her way of saying I need to go out and find someone. I'm almost 23."

Rose laughed nervously then immediately went silent as Delilah started stripping with almost no hesitation. That was the funny thing about lesbians, they were so open with each other and even if they were strictly just friends, they could do pretty much anything in front of each other without feeling weird about it afterwards. What happens in the shower stays in the shower. Rose thought to herself with an amused smirk.

"What are you smiling at?" asked Delilah. "I don't look that bad, do I?"

On the contrary, she looked amazing. Sure, she was a little on the heavy side, but not at all fat. At least, not a disgusting kind of fat. It was hard to explain, but Rose liked it nonetheless. She wasn't entirely sure if the only reason she didn't mind it was because she had never even seen a naked woman before. Either way, she had to force herself not to stare. Her breasts were quite large and she did, in fact, have the hourglass figure somewhat. Suddenly, Rose decided against taking her clothes off.

"I don't think I can do this…" she said, putting her pants back on.

"Why not? You're not going to have another chance for a shower until later tonight." Delilah stood there casually as if she wasn't stark naked in front of one of her friends. That had to have been the most admirable thing about her – her openness about everything.

"I just don't want you to see…"

"See what?"

Rose shook her head. "Come on" said Delilah. "You can't keep things from me if you expect me to be your friend. And it's not like I'm going to hate you for anything. I don't judge. See? I'm just standing here like nobody's business 'cause I don't care."

"Fine" Rose said with a sigh. She took all her clothes off hastily, leaving herself no time to reconsider. Her nipples immediately hardened as the cool air hit them and the sensation drove her crazy. The most bothersome thing, however, was the breezy feeling in places she should be feeling a breeze.

"I don't even see anything wrong with you, jeez" said Delilah as she went to the shower and turned it on. She turned back to Rose, who had her arms wrapped around her body as if concealing something bad. Delilah sighed and walked up to her, then peeled her arms away from her stomach despite Rose's small struggle to pull away. Delilah turned Rose's arms over and looked, seeing numerous scars all over the pale skin. "I kinda figured that's what you were hiding" she said quietly. "I won't tell."

From that moment on it was silent. Rose was disgusted with herself for ever getting into the habit and hated herself even more for letting someone else find out about it. She didn't need the pity or the lectures about how suicide isn't the way to go. Just because she cut herself doesn't mean that automatically categorized her as suicidal or even mentally unstable. Things got stressful, so she needed a way to vent. Sure, Sage had always been around to talk to, but he would never understand something like this. It wasn't exactly something you share with other people anyway.

"You okay kid?" Delilah asked as she rinsed shampoo out of her hair. Rose was standing behind her waiting for her turn to rinse off.

"Oh, yeah…" responded Rose shortly.

"Doesn't sound it" said Delilah, turning to face Rose.

"You're the only person who ever found out about this" said Rose sadly.

"And?"

"Well, I feel ashamed for one thing." Rose noticed she was still covering herself with her arms.

"A lot of people do it" Delilah said as she leaned comfortably against the tiled wall of the shower.

"Do you?"

"I did it once, only because I heard about other people doing it and was curious. I wasn't into the whole 'self-mutilation' thing though. I used to drink when things got bad, but I was sick of throwing up so much and then feeling like shit in the morning."

"So how do you vent when you get upset?"

"Punch things, basically" Delilah said with a shrug. "I ended up breaking the window in my room and had to get it replaced. I also broke my hand on a dresser here and at school one time I got in trouble for denting a locker 'cause I kicked the shit out of it too."

"Wow…" said Rose. She could never picture Delilah going into a rage like that. She seemed far too laidback for that.

"I think you need to rinse off" Delilah said.

"Yeah, probably" responded Rose as she tried to walk past Delilah to get under the spray of water. It was a tight squeeze and they ended up brushing up against each other, which caused Rose to gasp and bite her lip. A chill went down her spine and into certain places as she tried to turn around and hide her blushing face. She could have sworn she heard a quiet chuckle coming from behind her, but she was too caught up in her own filthy thoughts to take much notice. Finally, the two of them stepped out and got dressed. Nothing was mentioned about the shower for the rest of the night.

"Was there a specific reason you did that to yourself?" Delilah asked once they were settled into bed later on that night.

"Well, yeah, having to live with my mom" responded Rose as she snuggled comfortably under the covers. She loved the smell of Delilah's laundry, which would probably sound strange if she said anything.

"What happened with your mom? If you don't mind me asking."

"She was a drunk and beat me a lot once my dad left us" Rose said with a sort of shrug. She wasn't afraid to talk about it since she had to live with it for almost her whole life.

"That… Wow… I don't even know what to say. I'd say that sucks, but I doubt that's anywhere near summing it all up." Rose went silent and stared at the ceiling; something she did when she was thinking a lot. "Sorry I asked about it…" said Delilah.

"What?" asked Rose. "Oh. It's not a problem. It doesn't bother me at all."

"Then what are you thinking about?" asked Delilah as she sat up a bit.

"I'm thinking about Sage… Do you think he'll ever be the same again? I miss the old Sage."

"If you give him some time he might be fine."

"What if he isn't? What if he never changes and just continues to get vicious? I don't know what I'd do without him…" Rose trailed off and sounded like she was about to cry. Without knowing what else to say, it was Delilah's turn to stare at the ceiling. The shadow of a tree near the window cast strange shapes on it and Delilah liked to try and make out animal shapes from it. She had always done this as her own personal thinking exercise.

"I'm cold…" Rose said after a while. This was actually a lie, but she felt like she needed someone to hold her and was too shy to directly ask Delilah to do so.

Delilah turned and as hoped, wrapped a comforting arm around Rose and pulled her close. Rose snuggled into her chest, trying to hide her tear-streaked face. She could feel Delilah's hand moving up and down her back in an attempt to make her feel better. Delilah knew there was nothing that could help her unless she got to see Sage again, but she tried nevertheless. They soon fell asleep like that, wrapped up safely in each other's arms. Rose ended up having the strangest dream that Delilah had stolen a feather-soft kiss from her while she slept.

The next morning, however, the worst of news came to them over the phone at about 8am. Rose was woken up by Alicia, who told her that she had a call and to come downstairs. Groggily, Rose got up and went to the phone. On the other end was the voice of the therapist who had been given the task of caring for Sage for a month.

"Is this Rose?" asked the man with urgency in his voice.

"Yeah, why?" asked Rose as she tried to keep herself from yawning rudely over the phone.

"Sage has escaped."