Interlude

"But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,

And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.

There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.

Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough."

"Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough" by Patti Smith

Coruscant, Jedi Temple, 25 BBY

Garett climbed the steps of the Temple, feeling utterly exhausted and drained. The mission to Corellia had been…. complicated, and he desperately wished to get back to his quarters, climb into bed and not come out for the rest of the day.

Entering the Temple, he scanned the entrance hall and felt his spirits sink even further. There was no Ro waiting for him, eagerly bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, smiling in joy at seeing him. She must be out on a mission with her own Master. It was too bad, because right now, he could truly use her comfort and support.

Strong fingers combed through his short, pale blond hair. Lips carefully brushed the shell of his ear, while beckoning him with words of temptation, promises of the future.

"Stay."

A shiver ran down his spine at the memory and one hand came up to cover his face, hiding his grimace from any Jedi who might come wandering into the entrance hall at that moment. When he had regained some measure of outward composure at least, Garett let his hand drop back to his side, half-expecting Ro to have suddenly materialized before him in those brief seconds.

Thanks to their special bond, Ro always knew when he was upset or hurting, just like he was often keenly aware of her emotional state. And though her natural state was that of a bubbly and enthusiastically happy person, Ro's empathic abilities also allowed her to know when sympathy, rather than mirth was needed. She always knew just what to say or do to make him feel better, whether he needed reassurance or just a sympathetic ear. And right now, he truly needed both and maybe even a shoulder to cry on.

He rubbed at his face, banishing that last impulse and, hefting the duffle containing the few things he had needed for Corellia, he made his way back to his quarters. Maybe, once she was back, he and Ro could go to the Room of a Thousand Fountains and he could tell her exactly what had happened to him on Corellia and she could tell him that he had made the right choice. He really needed to hear that right now.

When he saw the distinctive form of Ro's Master, Knight Sarika Adriav, standing before his door, obviously waiting for him, he stopped dead in his tracks in surprise. If her Master was here, then Ro had to be in the Temple as well. But if that were the case, then she would have been waiting for him in the entrance hall, like she always did, to greet him after a mission. Knight Adriav turned at the sound of his footsteps, her lovely face cast in a serious mien, her amber eyes solemn.

There was a sudden, leaden feeling in his stomach. Had something happened to Ro? No, surely if his little sister had come to grief, he would have felt it. He always knew when Ro was in trouble, or hurt, or simply upset. Always.

Realizing he'd been staring at the Knight, Garett gave the Zeltron a quick, though rather abrupt, bow. "My apologies Knight Adriav, were you," he hesitated over the words. "Waiting to see me?" For the life of him he couldn't image what Ro's Master wanted to talk to him about. Maybe Ro really was in trouble. Or caused some kind of trouble, he thought warily. He didn't want to deal with this right now. He felt a small stab of irritation. Why did the older Jedi always come to him, when Ro was acting up or out of line? Wasn't it their job to handle an errant Padawan? And weren't they constantly lecturing both siblings that they were spending too much time with each other? So why did they always have to involve him in Ro's antics?

"Padawan Arhen," and the Jedi Knight inclined her head respectfully towards him. "I was indeed waiting for you. I have a message for you from your sister." If the Zeltron had felt his sudden aggravation, she gave no sign of it.

"From Ro?" He asked, now seriously puzzled. "Why can't she give it to me herself? Isn't she here with you?" Certainly Ro wouldn't be alone in the field. She was far too young for a solo mission.

"Ro," Adriav said and Garett detected a certain tenseness in the otherwise elegant voice. "Is no longer my apprentice, nor is she a member of the Order."

Garett's mind reeled at her words. "No longer…I don't…you kicked her out?" He finally asked. It was the only conceivable scenario he could come up with.

Adriav's lips momentarily tightened into a thin, disapproving line, before she answered in a rather clipped tone of voice. "No, I did not, as you inferred, kicked her out. She left of her own freewill to pursue another path." She looked at him sternly, then relented the slightest bit. "She wanted to explain to you in person, but Master Altis was in rather a hurry to leave Spira, so she asked me to deliver to you this." She held out her hand and revealed a holorecorder, its metallic surface gleaming against her pink skin.

Garett had to swallow a sudden lump rising in his throat. "I don't understand." Any of this, he added silently.

"You will," Adriav told him.

Numbly he took the holorecorder from her hand.

In the privacy of his room, Garett watched as an image of his sister, no larger than a hand span, emerged from the holorecorder. Ro, he thought, looked slightly different then the last time he had seen her. Her mass of pale blond hair was no longer confined to its braid, though Garett thought he saw the slim outlines of a Padawan braid hidden in between the long strands. She also looked…taller.

Ever since Tanaab, Garett had noticed a new nervousness within his sister. She was constantly hunching her shoulders as if in protection of some imagined blow and she would cast furtive glances over her shoulders, as if hunted by something or someone. He had never been able to get her to tell him what exactly had happened on Tanaab, nor where she and her Master had disappeared to for a whole month after that. But there was no doubt that something had left its mark on his sister. And after Corellia, Garett thought he might have a better incline as to what it was that had hurt and haunted his sister so deeply.

Another reason why I wish she was here, he thought wistfully. We could figure these feelings out together. Make both of us feel better.

Except, it seemed that Ro was already feeling better. Looking at her holograph now, Garett thought that at least some of that burden must have been lifted, because now Ro's shoulders were straight and the smile she wore was more reminiscent of her happier nature than he had seen in quite some time. And he was glad to see it, but a secret part of him was also jealous. Jealous that his sister was no longer feeling the pain that was now so badly rattling his emotional equilibrium. And jealous that she had apparently found some kind of peace without his help; without coming to her big brother to make it all better.

"Hi Garett," she greeted him, from a space and time leagues away from here. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you face-to-face. I wanted to, but then Master Altis got this call from one of his students – I think her name was Callista something – and he had to rush off and he said there was no way to tell where he would be next, so finding him would be difficult and," she stopped and took a breath. "Sorry. Rambling, I know." Her holographic image grinned at him and, despite his confusion and gloom, he found himself grinning back. Ro happy, even through a holo, was a near irresistible force.

"The long and short of it, I guess, is that I've decided to leave the Order and follow Master Altis," she continued, her voice taking on a more thoughtful tone now. "I talked about it with Master Adriav and, well…" She looked down at her boots, then back up at him. "This is for the best Garett. I don't think I ever would have made it far in the Order and Master Altis - he's different. He can teach me how to be a Jedi my own way, and I need that." She paused again and gave him a rueful smile. "I'm not sure how much we'll see each other in the future, but I want you to know Garett, that I love you. You're the best big brother a girl could ask for and no matter what, that'll never change. Take care of yourself, 'kay?" Then her smile turned more mischievous. "And I already know that the Force is with you."

The holo flickered out and Garett was left staring at the empty space where, moments ago, he had looked at the image of his little sister.

She's gone. The thought made him feel numb inside. I can't believe she'd just leave. Then, a more resentful voice in his mind added, I can't believe she'd just leave me.

He swallowed hard and looked away from the holorecorder and out across the Coruscant cityscape. He knew that wasn't fair, nor worthy of a Jedi. Ro hadn't left him; she'd simply followed whatever path the Force had guided her onto. If Ro was happier with Master Altis, and judging from how she'd looked in the recording she was, then he should be happy for her.

He stood up and walked towards the single window set into his room, hands gripping the windowsill until his knuckles turned white and tried to imagine what his life would be like now, without Ro as a constant presence. There would be no more enthusiastic greetings on his return home, no more late night talks or private sparring sessions. He would no longer listen to his sister sing, or watch her trying to teach herself the use of various musical instruments, or be subjugated to a demonstration of some new dance. He would no longer guide her through lightsaber forms that caused her difficulties or get to see that look of admiration and wonder in her eyes when he demonstrated his own skills to her.

Feeling lonely and miserable, Garett closed his eyes, steadied his breathing and fell into the gentle flow of the Force. To him, it was a world of darkness, gentle and soft as velvet, illuminated with the silver ghost outlines that was the essence of other sentients. He floated between those lights for a brief moment, trying to steady himself, before reaching inside of his own consciousness and finding the Force-bond that linked him to his sister. To his mind's eye, that bond was like a sturdy rope, now stretched to the thinness of a single thread by distance, but as durable as ever. With invisible fingers, her gently plucked at the thread, watching as it began to vibrate from the contact, sending silver ripples down its length and into the Force. He waited.

And then a wave of answering ripples came back to him, making the thread hum like the strings of a guitar. When the ripples reached him, they painted the impression of a small, round face in his mind; a silvery echo of bright eyes and laughter. And the ripples brought words as well. Not words in the conventional way. Ro's limited Force-abilities had never allowed them to actually communicate in an advanced form of telepathy, but emotions and ideas came through clearly and he always knew what his sister meant by them.

"I love you," the words hummed through the Force, through their bond and momentarily soothed the ache in him. "I'm always here. You are always here. We are not alone."

Then the ripples ended and his sister's presence was gone, lost once more in the vast expanse of the galaxy and the titanic ocean of the Force. Garett opened his teal eyes and stared blankly out of his window, trying to hold on to that momentary feeling of solace.

He should be happy for her and in truth, he was. Ro was growing up and finding her own way through life and she had looked so relieved in her holo, so much more like herself. He certainly wanted her to be happy. But looking out over the towering, busy cityscape that was Coruscant, a small part of him couldn't help but feel abandoned as well.