Thanks everyone for your patience. Real life has just been crazy lately.
Thanks to Soar for betaing. Thanks also JuliaAurelia, and Sinead-Conlan for their feedback and encourgament.
I also would like to thank Mummyluvr for allowing me to reference her story.
--
Chapter 21
Disclaimer: Still don't own.
"No!" Dean said with as much force as he could muster in response to his father's suggestion, which wasn't as much as he would like.
"Come on, Dean," John encouraged. "It's a very simple procedure. 20 minutes. They can do it while Sam's in the OR."
John cursed himself when Dean stiffened. He hadn't meant to remind his eldest about his brother's upcoming surgery. "No," Dean repeated.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want it," was the only reason Dean would give. He hated every bit of this whole process. The chemo had taken such a toll on him that these days, he didn't have the energy to lift his head off the pillow. He hated everyone seeing him as weak, and now he couldn't even feed himself like a normal person. No, no way in hell.
"Dean," John said trying to keep his voice gentle. He was fighting every urge he had to make this an order. "Dr. Scott wouldn't recommend this if he didn't think it was necessary."
"No," Dean said, digging his heels in, sounding like a stubborn child.
A noise distracted both father and son, and they looked up. They could see Cindy in the anteroom, donning the protective coverings, getting ready to come in. John was glad because he really liked her, and he needed an ally right now to get Dean to see reason.
"Good morning, handsomes," Cindy greeted them as she came in.
"Good morning," John replied.
"Why does everybody say good morning," was Dean's answer. "I have yet to find one good thing about them."
"Someone's in a good mood this morning I see," Cindy said with a wink toward John. "Are you nervous about today?" Cindy asked.
"No," Dean lied. "Is Sammy okay?"
"He's fine. He slept through the night. They're just starting to prep him now."
"When will we know he's done?"
"The procedure usually takes about an hour to two hours. Then they'll bring the bone marrow to you, and it will drip into your body over a four to five hour period."
"When will I be able to see Sammy?" That was the only news Dean was interested in.
"He'll sleep most of today and be up and around tomorrow, or maybe late this evening," Cindy explained.
"Dean," John said trying to change the subject. He was worried about both his boys. "About the PEG tube…"
Dean glared at his father. "We settled this," he replied, his tone indicating that he didn't want to discuss it further.
"Are you going to eat your breakfast?" John answered back, guilt creeping up when Dean turned green around the gills.
"No," he said softly. Why wouldn't everyone just leave him alone? He wasn't hungry.
"Dean," Cindy said gently. "It's not that bad. 20 minutes and it's done."
"He said that," Dean said indicating his father. "I don't care. I don't want it."
"It will help build your strength back up. The quicker that happens, the faster you can get out of here."
That intrigued Dean. "Really?" he asked doubtfully.
"Yup. The stronger you are, the more you'll be able to fight."
"How long?" Dean wanted to know.
"I'm not sure," she said honestly. "I won't lie to you, it won't just be for a couple days. I'd say at least a month, and then we'll go from there."
"I..." Dean started and stopped. "I don't want... I don't know."
"No hospital food," John said, feeling a glimmer of hope that his stubborn son might agree to this.
"That would be a plus," Dean agreed. His family wasn't allowed to bring him in anything. He had no idea how they sterilized his food and he really didn't want to know. The only thing he was sure of is that they also cleansed it of all taste.
"I can get Dr. Scott," Cindy said. "It'll be done before you know it."
Dean was all set to protest, to tell them what they could do with their tubes, but for reasons he didn't understand, he couldn't. He looked toward his father. "You'll stay?"
John couldn't help but think his son sounded 4, not like the 27 year old man he was. "Yeah, son. I'm not going anywhere."
"My dad can stay?" he said looking to Cindy for confirmation.
"Yup. We can just give you a local anaesthetic, and it'll be done before you know it."
"Okay," Dean sighed heavily. "Let's get this over with."
------
SAM'S ROOM.
"Good morning, Sam."
The youngest Winchester looked over and saw Bobby sitting next to his bed. "Morning Bobby," Sam said, stretching his long limbs the best he could in the small hospital bed. "How's Dean?"
"He's sleeping like a baby. That daddy of yours worked a miracle this morning."
"He got Dean to agree to the feeding tube," Sam guessed. "How'd he do that?" Sam inquired when Bobby confirmed his guess. "He didn't make it an order, did he?"
"No," Bobby confirmed. "Cindy pointed out that regaining his strength faster would help him get out sooner."
"The magic words," Sam replied.
"Yup, then Johnny reminded him that he wouldn't have to eat hospital food."
"I never thought Dean would agree," Sam admitted.
"Neither did I," Bobby agreed. "They gave him some medication to relax him for the procedure, and it knocked him right out. It went fine."
"How is he really, Bobby?" Sam asked.
"Nervous as hell, not that he'd ever admit it, but I think he's looking forward to getting it over with."
"Me too," Sam admitted. "I just hope it takes. I mean..."
"Lose that train of thought right now, Sam," Bobby admonished firmly.
"I can't lose him, Bobby. I can't. It would be my..."
"Samuel," Bobby cut him off sharply. "I don't care if you're about to head into surgery. If the words 'it would be my fault' even enter your thoughts again, I'm beating them out of you. No matter the outcome, Sammy, you can't blame yourself. The anaemia would have killed him for sure. You're giving him a chance. Do you think Dean would blame you if it didn't work?"
"No," Sam said confidently.
"Hey, Sam. Are you ready?" An orderly said stepping into the room with a gurney.
"Yup. Look after my brother, Bobby, until I can see him. Okay?"
"You got it, kiddo," Bobby said and he reached over and grabbed Sam's hand. "I just want you to know..." he hesitated for a moment. "Sammy, even though I don't share biology with you like I do with Dean, I always thought of you as my son, the same way I do your brother."
"I know you do," Sam confirmed.
"Look after my boy," Bobby instructed the orderly.
-----
Bobby stayed with Sam until they reached the surgical ward. Sam had had surgery before, but he'd never been conscious when he'd been brought into the OR.
"Sam, we need you to slide over onto the table," the doctor instructed.
Sam lay down on the table and tried to relax, but he was really nervous.
"Hey, doc, when will I be able to go see my brother?" he asked trying to distract himself.
"First thing tomorrow or later tonight, depending on how you're feeling," Dr. Young said.
"Sam," Dr. Anderson said. "I'm going to put a mask over your face. I want you to take deep breaths, and count backwards from 10 for me. Bet you won't even make it to 8."
Sam did as he was told. He could feel himself getting sleepy. He was glad he could do this for Dean, the big brother who was always there for him, no matter what he did. Just before he drifted off to sleep, a memory popped into Sam's mind.
Past
It was tough always being the new kid. Every school had its own set of rules that kids followed on who or what was acceptable, and who or what was not.
Sam tried hard to figure them out, but it wasn't easy. Just when he felt like he was getting a handle on it, they moved. The problem was that he liked making friends, unlike his older brother who couldn't care less what people thought of him. Sam wished he could be like that. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much when the kids rejected him.
The problem was that when the kids picked on him, it often made its way around the school, and once big brother got wind of the fact that little brother was being picked on, it ended as fast as it had started. Sure, kids stopped trying to beat him up after Dean intervened, but it created a whole new set of problems. Instead of being picked on, he was ignored like he had the plague.
It made going to school tough. The thing was, Sam loved school. He loved his classes and learning, and he got good grades. He wanted to fit in and be like the other kids in his class.
When they had arrived in Atwater, Minnesota, Sam really wasn't expecting things to be all that different.
Things hadn't stated out well when school officials had informed them that Dean was going to have to repeat his junior year, due to an incident that had taken place at their last school.
The last place the Winchesters had moved from was a very small town. There was one school that went from kindergarten to grade 12. It was the kind of place where everyone knew each other, and the Winchester brothers stuck out like a sore thumb. The school quarterback, Kyle Mullins, had been in danger of failing several classes which would have made him ineligible to play. His solution had been to intimidate a poor freshman into doing his homework for him. His mistake had been picking on the new kid.
When Sam had refused to do Kyle's homework, the guy had given him a black eye as incentive. His big brother had taken offence. He stopped Kyle in the hall for a chat, and the jock took a swing at the young hunter. Dean blocked by grabbing his arm, and the guy had tried to pull it back and ended up dislocating his shoulder. Of course, no one believed Dean's version of the events and he ended up getting expelled.
When Dean had been kicked out, there was no other school to go to. There was one in the next town 20 miles away, but John wasn't willing to drive Dean there and pick him up every day, so John decided to home school his eldest.
While Sam was taking history, French, science, and English, Dean was getting an education in urban myths, legends, ancient Latin exorcisms, rock salt, and devil's traps.
When they arrived in their new town, the school didn't want to enroll Dean, but John insisted. They agreed to take him on a probationary basis only. He was expected to behave, not start trouble, not miss time and keep his grades up.
When the school officials found out that Dean had been home schooled, they made him take placement tests. A secret John would take to the grave with him was that the tests had revealed that Dean was working at a 10th grade level. John fought, and got them to agree to Dean repeating his junior year, if he would work with a tutor.
John knew that Dean's confidence had been shaken, so he had been determined to make it up to him. It had actually been his eldest son that had discovered the lead for their current hunt. Perfectly healthy people were going on rampages and then dropping dead. Dean had suspected a demon. Wanting to build Dean's self-esteem back up, John had told him that he could take the lead on the hunt. It would be up to him to do all the research. John even told his eldest that if it wasn't a high level demon, he'd even let him perform the exorcism.
John knew it had been worth it when Dean's face lit up like a kid at Christmas. He didn't want to lose his chance, so he behaved himself at school, and worked hard with his tutor, and with his dad at home to make sure he had the exorcism down pat.
Sam was glad that no one picked on him the first day. His second day went better. He'd been assigned to work on a history project with a boy named Chad MacIntyre. Sam had heard about him. He was new to the school, but unlike Sam, he was a star athlete. He was on the basketball team and Sam had thought he'd been like any other jock, but he was the complete opposite. Chad had several good ideas about their project, he was friendly, and down to earth, and Sam, found himself sitting at a table with the basketball team by the end of the week.
-----
Over the next month, things went smoothly. Dean had stayed out of trouble and Sam found himself really fitting in, for once.
"Hey Sam," Chad said coming up to his locker, with Mark Baker and Ian Felter, two other basketball team members.
"Hey," Sam said half heartedly.
"Something wrong?" Chad inquired.
"Just tired," Sam lied. The problem was that Dean had discovered that it was lower level demon that was responsible for the deaths. John had declared that Dean could perform the exorcism, since it would be fairly simple as far as exorcisms go. The hunt was that weekend, and Sam was afraid that once it was over, they'd be moving on and he didn't want to leave. He liked having friends.
"Make sure you rest up. Tommy's having a big party," Chad said naming one of the guys Sam was friendly with. Tommy Wilson was captain of the basketball team. To get invited to his party meant you were one of the cool kids. "We both got invites."
Sam really hoped he could convince his father to let him go. "When is it?" he asked.
"This Saturday."
Sam felt his good mood at being invited fade. The hunt was this weekend. His father had told him that they were close enough to Blue Earth that he could be dropped off at Pastor Jim's. Sam adored the Pastor, but when you were 13, a party with your friends was the place you wanted to be. He knew his dad would never let him stay home alone. He might have a shot if Dean was staying to watch him, but Dean was going on the hunt. He suddenly felt mad at his father for treating him like a baby. Dean had been allowed to stay home alone when he was Sam's age. Why couldn't he?
"It sounds great," Sam said trying to sound excited. He was already trying to come up with an argument that would let him attend the party. "Thanks for the invitation."
"Actually," Mark said slyly. "You don't have an invitation yet. You have to pass the initiation."
"What?" Sam asked in disbelief.
"Initiation. All new kids have to go through one. Chad did and now it's your turn," Robbie explained. "It's really simple. You up for it?"
"Um, yeah, I guess so," Sam stammered. Hell no, his brain was telling him.
"It's really simple, you have to humiliate someone," Ian explained.
"How?" Sam asked, even though he didn't want to know.
"By revealing their biggest secret to the whole school," Mark said as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
"Who?" Sam asked. Again, he really didn't want to know because instinct was telling him he wouldn't like it. Don't say it, please don't say it.
"Like I said, real easy. Everyone knows that older brothers are a pain in the ass. So we'll make this super easy and allow you get revenge by revealing your brother's biggest secret."
No he couldn't. He wouldn't. Dean meant the world to him.
"See ya, Winchester," Ian said as he and Mark walked down the hall. "We'll do it after lunch."
"You better do it, Sam," Chad cautioned his friend after the other two boys left. "Mark and Ian can make your life miserable here if you chicken out."
"I don't know," Sam said hesitantly. He really didn't want to do this. "Dean's my brother. He..." Sam paused. How did he explain to anyone just what Dean meant to him? That his big brother literally protected him from monsters, that he was the one Sam went to for advice or a scraped knee. The big brother that helped him with homework, even if it meant his own didn't get done. The person who Sam felt was more of a father to him than his own dad. He wouldn't. He couldn't.
"Come on, Sam. You don't want to seem like a wimp, do you? Everyone here will think you are. I'll see you after class. Try and come up with something juicy."
He walked off before Sam could ask him who he had humiliated, and what secret he had revealed. Sam continued down the hall toward his class room, his mind continuing to go a mile a minute. Being a social outcast was tough. He'd gone through it and he really didn't want to do it again, but hurting Dean… The cost was way too high.
The ironic thing was that Dean was the guy he turned to when he needed advice on how to handle situations just like this one. Maybe he could ask his brother. He could ditch Chad, Mark and Ian, and meet Dean, and they could work out a plan.
------
Dean exited his English class, for once in a good mood. They had gotten their tests back and he had passed. He couldn't wait to get home and show his dad.
"How'd you do?" he heard a female voice greet him. "You passed didn't you?"
"Hi Patti," Dean returned the greeting with a grin when he saw his tutor, Patti Larson standing next to him. "Yup, B-. Thanks for helping me."
Patti melted at that smile. Dean was so good looking. Most guys that looked like Dean wouldn't give her a second glance, most were conceited jerks, but Dean was different. Patti had discovered that underneath the cocky smile, Dean was a totally different person. She could tell that he was devoted to family, especially his younger brother, who he talked a blue streak about. "It was no problem. I can help you with the book report if you want. Maybe we could meet at my place."
"I can't," Dean replied.
"Oh, it's okay," Patti said trying to keep disappointment out of her face.
"No, it's just that I have to look after my little brother until my father gets home from work, so if you don't mind working at my place instead, I could use your help."
Patti smiled. "Sure. That would be great."
"Maybe afterwards we could catch a movie or something," Dean asked tentatively. He usually didn't have a problem talking to girls, but he really liked Patti. She helped him, but didn't treat him like he was stupid, like a lot of other tutors and resource teachers did.
Patti stared at Dean in disbelief. Had she just been asked out on a date? "Um, sure," she agreed trying not to sound too eager.
-----
Sam had finished eating and was trying to avoid his friends until he could talk to his brother. The problem was that Sam had trouble finding him, and by the time he did, lunch was almost over. This was the time when the halls were most crowded, so it was the ideal time to carry out the initiation. The problem was that Sam didn't want to do it. He finally spotted Dean 5 minutes before lunch ended.
"Dean," he called out to his brother.
"Hey Sam," Dean returned the greeting. "Patti, this is my brother Sam."
"Hi, Sam," Patti greeted. "I've heard a lot about you."
"Dean, can I talk to you about something?" Sam asked. He looked anxiously down the hall for Chad, Mark or Ian. Much to his chagrin, he saw them and the rest of the basketball team coming down the hallway.
Sam wished he had the powers of the invisible man right then. He still had no idea what to do. He wanted his friends to like him, but at what cost?
"Hey Sam, you ready?" Mark called to the youngest Winchester.
"Um...." he hesitated trying to stall for time.
"Sam, come on," Mark said with a hint of warning after Sam had remained silent for a good five minutes.
He could feel everyone's eyes on him. He felt panic rising up in him. He didn't know what to do. Make something up, or tell them something Dean wouldn't care if everybody knew, he told himself.
Sam looked to his big brother. Instead of finding inspiration like he normally did, he found guilt, and right now, it was threatening to eat him alive.
Grades, he suddenly told himself. Dean hated school and he wouldn't care if everyone knew he didn't get good grades. Everyone at school knew that Dean was supposed to be a senior. Didn't they?
"Um, hey, Patti, you're Dean's tutor right?" he said a little too loudly, causing others to look up. That wasn't a secret.
"Yeah," Patti confirmed.
"Must be tough," Sam said staring at his shoes. He couldn't look at Dean, he couldn't.
"It's not too bad, Dean's a qui..."
"You're really nice to give up your free time. Hey Dean, maybe if you'd had a tutor last year, you wouldn't have flunked, but I doubt it would have made much difference since you couldn't read until you were nine," Sam suddenly realized what he had said. That was something nobody knew about, something Sam swore he would never tell.
"Sam, what the hell?" Dean asked in a tone that was a mixture of hurt and confusion.
When he finally looked at his brother, Sam really wished he hadn't. Dean's face had turned red. He looked like he'd just had his heart ripped out of his chest, and Sam knew that he was embarrassed.
The guilt he had been feeling now threatened to crush him alive, and Sam wished it would. It didn't take long for the comments and teasing to start.
"Hey Winchester," one of the guys in the hallway said. "The elementary school is down the street."
Don't let it bug you, Dean, he tried to tell himself. Those so-called friends of his probably put him up to it. Just make a joke, don't let it bother you. Dean turned to the guy who had just insulted him. "Really," he said in a false tone. "You'd better hurry then, I don't think you want to be late." With that, Dean turned and stalked off down the hall.
------
PRESENT- IN THE OR
"Hey Pete," Doug addressed Dr. Peter Young, the surgeon who was harvesting Sam's bone marrow. "Hold up a minute, would you."
"What's up?" Pete asked with concern.
"Blood pressures dropping." Doug fiddled with some dials.
"How's it looking?"
"Looks like its stabilizing. He may be having a reaction to the anaesthetic. You can go ahead, but let's make this quick okay?"
------
PAST
"IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO? IT'S GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN A FEW WORDS TO SEND ME BACK TO HELL! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I'M COMING AFTER YOUR FAMILY, AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!"
Sam had been lying on his bed, trying to study for his science test, but he was unable to concentrate. He cringed every time he heard his father yelling at his brother. He knew that his dad didn't mean the words he was saying, it was part of his training. Demons could read minds and would use the information against you. John was trying to teach Dean how to block it out.
After lunch, Sam had moved through the rest of the day on auto pilot. He didn't remember anything about his afternoon classes or even the drive home. The silence in the Impala had been oppressive. Dean wouldn't make eye contact or speak to him. Not that Sam blamed him. He just wished he knew how to apologize, but the words 'I'm sorry' sounded so hollow.
"Damn it, Dean, what the hell's up with you today?" Sam heard John growl at Dean. "The hunt's this weekend. You've got to have the Latin down pat. There's no room for errors or screw ups."
Not being able to stand it anymore, Sam put his book down, got off his bed and headed down the hall. His brother didn't deserve to get yelled at for something that was Sam's fault.
"I'm sorry, sir." Sam heard Dean mumble.
"Sorry's not going to cut it in the field, son. What's wrong Dean? You've been doing so well up until now."
"It's nothing. I'm sorry. I'll try harder," Dean said and picked up his book. He saw Sam standing in the doorway and when he looked back down at his book, the words just turned into a big blur.
"Um, dad," Sam said as he stepped into the kitchen.
"In a minute, Sammy," John said dismissively. "Dean, try verse three again. You're way off."
"No," Dean said stubbornly.
"Dean," John said warningly. "I want to know what's going on right now."
"I don't want to hunt," Dean said softly.
That wasn't what John had been expecting. "It's all you've been talking about. Talk to me son, please," John begged.
"It's just a lower level demon. You can do it with your eyes closed, dad, or Pastor Jim can help you," Dean said.
"You're just having an off day. You'll have the Latin down, kiddo. You just need a little more practice," John said confidently.
"No, I don't want to screw up," Dean responded. He shifted his gaze so that he was looking directly into Sam's eyes. "Apparently, I'm too stupid to do it." Dean got up so quickly that the chair he was sitting in overturned, and fell on the floor with a loud bang.
"Dean!" John called to his son's retreating back. "I never said that."
"I know," Dean replied. He walked out of kitchen and down the hall towards his bedroom. "You didn't." They heard the bedroom door slam.
"Sam, what the hell was that about?" John said sternly to his youngest son.
"Dad," Sam said and to his horror, he heard his voice waver.
"What's up, kiddo?" John asked, his tone going from angry to concerned.
"I... I…" Sam couldn't go on. The tears welling up in his eyes spilled over.
John opened his arms and Sam ran into them gratefully. John became scared when Sam started crying hard. His youngest hadn't cried in his arms since he was about eight. "Sammy, what's wrong? Did something happen at school?"
Sam couldn't answer right away. John just hugged Sam tighter, until he stopped sobbing. It confirmed John's thoughts that something was up with his boys when Dean failed to leave the bedroom at the sound of Sam's tears.
"Sammy, please talk to me," John begged. He hated when his sons were hurting.
"I didn't mean it. Dean hates me," Sam said, his tears starting afresh.
"It's okay, Sammy. I doubt Dean's capable of hating you. Now tell me what happened."
It took a combination of begging, ordering, pleading and threatening, but John finally managed to get the story out of Sam.
"I was just going to tell them about Dean flunking. I didn't mean to tell anyone about Dean not being able to read. It just slipped out," Sam confessed.
John reached up and ran his hand through Sam's too long curls. "Alright kiddo, we need to talk."
"You don't... don't hate me?" Sam sniffed.
"'Course not, kiddo," John said gently. "I never could."
"I wouldn't blame you. I hate me, and Dean does too," Sam said sadly.
"No, he doesn't. He's hurt and angry at you, but he doesn't hate you. Now, go wash your face and come back here. We need to have a talk."
"Yes sir," Sam said and did as he was told. He knew he deserved whatever punishment he got.
------
PRESENT- IN THE OR
Dr. Young had no sooner filled the last aspiration needle when he heard Dr. Anderson cry out.
"Damn it kid, don't do this!"
"Doug, what's wrong?" Pete asked with concern.
"BP just bottomed out. Damn it, start CPR, he's crashing," Doug said, just as Sam's heart monitor let out a high pitched whine.
-----
PAST
It didn't take too long for Sam to get back to the kitchen. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"I know you are, son, but it's not me you need to apologize to."
"I blew it," Sam said regretfully, his gaze turning down to the closed door of their bedroom.
"I won't deny that one," John agreed. "Sammy, I understand peer pressure, son. I can still feel the sting in my rear end from when my dad caught me smoking. The excuse 'I did it because my friends did it' didn't cut it with my father, and it won't work with me."
"I just wanted Chad, and Mark, and Ian to like me. It's hard going to school when no one likes you. I thought if I just mentioned something Dean didn't care about, it would work."
"The problem was, Sam, you didn't think. This is one of those situations where it was too easy for something to go wrong. I mean, how did you think the other kids were going to react when you told them Dean failed a grade?"
"They already knew," Sam offered.
"Everybody? The kids in your grade? The other grades?"
"I didn't think he'd mind," Sam said trying to explain his actions.
John sighed deeply. "If you truly believed that, Sammy, then you wouldn't be sitting here feeling like you did something wrong, would you?" John pointed out. He watched as Sam's eyes filled with tears again. "Hey, kiddo," he said gently. "I'm not trying to make you feel worse. Son, there are things you don't know about."
"What?" he asked curiously.
"I promised your brother, I wouldn't tell you, but I think you need to hear this. After your moth... After the fire," John corrected. "Dean had a lot of problems. I couldn't leave his side, he had nightmares, he wouldn't speak. Anyway, I was told that I had to put him in therapy and I did, or I risked losing you two. It made him worse. I was told to keep Dean away from you, to try and get him to be independent. Then we moved in with... Bobby."
Sam wished he'd known what had happened between his father and the man who had been Uncle Bobby to him. They'd left his salvage yard abruptly one day, and now every time John said his name, it sounded like a curse word.
"Dean started to get better and make progress, but it was slow. It wasn't because he wasn't smart, was because of issues from the fire and health reasons. Dean started school at six, not five. We moved frequently during those first couple of years. At one school, Dean was in a second grade class with 46 students in it. Dean just kind of slipped through the cracks. He didn't get the support he needed. Then when Dean was eight, you hadn't quite turned 4 yet, I almost got caught. The police caught me standing over the body of werewolf. It looked like I had just shot a man in cold blood. I had to disappear. Bobby's friend Caleb gave me the location of his cabin and we hid out there. It was in the middle of nowhere. There were no schools around. When the heat was finally off, I doctored Dean's records and put him in grade four where he was supposed to be. It was hard for him though. He struggled badly for the first few months. I finally got my act together and started to really work with him, like you were."
"I didn't know that," Sam said in surprise. "You knew I was helping Dean with his reading?"
"I'm your dad, kiddo, not much gets by me. The reason Dean couldn't read was because there was no one to really teach him. It was finding out that you were helping him that made me realize just what I had done to him. I'm not proud of it, but I did the best I could."
No you didn't, immediately flashed through Sam's mind. He didn't want to start a fight with his dad, so he let it go. "I blew it today," Sam repeated with regret.
"There is no denying what you did was wrong," John agreed.
"I'll tell everybody I lied," Sam said, trying to come up with some way to make things up to his brother.
"I blew it," Sam repeated with regret.
John took the seat next to Sam, and put his arm around his boy's shoulders. He was pleased when he felt Sam lean into him. "It's not the other kids so much, Sammy. Dean doesn't care what they think of him. There's only one person's opinion that matters."
"You," Sam guessed.
"No kiddo, you." That floored Sam and the surprised showed on his face. "Yeah kiddo, you."
"I don't think Dean's stupid. I know he's not," Sam said firmly.
"I'm not the one you have to convince," John said with a nod toward the boys' bedroom door. "Just give him a bit of time before you go in there, Sammy. If you go there now, Dean's going to think I ordered you. Just remember, actions speak so much louder than words."
Sam jumped up from his chair and hugged his father tight. "Thanks dad," he said. He knew what he was going to do.
"You're welcome," John said ruffling his hair. "Oh, and Sam..."
"Grounded," Sam replied.
"Yup, two weeks and extra chores."
"Yes, sir," Sam replied.
-----
PRESENT- IN THE OR
"Clear," Pete called as he prepared to shock Sam's heart back into rhythm.
"Nothing!" he said a moment later. "Charge to 360!"
------
PAST
Sam's admiration for his brother grew the next day when Dean didn't even ask his father to stay home. Sam avoided his so-called friends all day. He waited by Dean's locker at lunch time, so he could put his plan into effect.
It was a carbon copy of the scene the day before. Everyone was standing around getting their books. Sam could tell that Dean was trying hard to ignore everyone's comments, and trying to keep his temper in check.
"Hey, Sammy," Chad said as he, Ian and Mark approached him.
"It's Sam," he said in an irritated tone.
"Grumpy."
"Shut up!" Sam snapped.
"What's up with you? Have to stay up all night reading your brother's homework to him."
"No," Sam growled in his best imitation of John Winchester. He was pleased when Ian backed up a step. "Hey everyone," Sam announced to the hallway. "I have to tell you all something. About yesterday. If I told you all something about my brother, fair is fair. Dean, I want you to tell everyone something about me."
"Sam," Dean protested. "You don't have to do this."
"If you won't, I will. Here goes. I'm a big wimp. I don't stand up for what I believe in. What I should have said about my big brother is that he's the best one there is. Oh, and I sleep with a teddy bear."
The kids weren't really sure what to think about what Sam had said. Some laughed, most looked at Sam like he had three heads. The bell sounded and they headed toward their respective classes until Sam and Dean were the only ones left in the hall.
"You didn't have to do that," Dean protested.
"I wanted to," Sam said firmly. "This time I meant it, you're the best big brother ever."
"But..." Dean started.
"Dean, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday," Sam said. "I just... I mean Chad said..." Sam trailed off realizing how lame that sounded.
"Chad wouldn't be your friend?"
"Yeah. Do you think you can forgive me?" Sam asked hopefully.
"Eventually runt, but not right now," Dean said honestly.
"I understand. Guess we're both frigged at this school, huh."
"Yup," Dean agreed. "Want to cut this afternoon?" Dean asked.
"But dad will kill us. He'll ground us for sure," Sam stated.
"You're already grounded," Dean pointed out.
"But the hunt, it's this weekend," Sam protested.
"I'm not going," Dean said simply.
"But you can do it, Dean. I believe in you," Sam said sincerely.
"I know you do, Sam, but I think we should spend some time together this weekend. We have things we need to talk about, and you have some serious grovelling to do. Some things, Sammy, are more important than hunting, like family, it's everything."
"Let's go," Sam agreed. He knew he and Dean needed to talk, and that he was in for some serious torture that weekend, and he was looking forward to every second. Dean was right, family came first.
------
PRESENT- IN THE OR
"Clear," Dr. Young said as he brought the paddles to the young man's chest once more.
For a few tense seconds, the OR team stared at the monitor and they breathed a sigh of relief when the squealing flat line turned into a beep, hesitant at first, then growing steadier.
"Thank God," Dr. Anderson said.
Dr. Young turned to his nurse. "Get an EKG to make sure there was no damage to his heart and then send him to ICU for monitoring. I'm going to go talk to the family."
TBC
Chapter End Notes:
A/N: The secert that Sam reveals about Dean not knowing how to read until he was nine comes from Mummyluvr's story All I really Want. Thanks again for letting me use it.
Please read and review and let me know what you think.