"PUCK!" BJ could hear Daddy's voice perfectly from her spot in the den where she was sleeping. She yawned and stretched and realized that the letter wasn't anywhere to be found. Good. Her parents had gotten the message.
"I had two cosmos last night," he was ranting to Aunt Leah. "Two! I did my fair share of partying at Bowling Green. Two cosmos have NEVER given me this bad of a headache."
"Maybe you're just getting older and can't handle your liquor like you used to," Papa suggested.
She could practically hear Daddy shaking his head. "I'm a light-weight, but I'm not THAT bad! I think someone must've spiked the punch. And by someone, I mean Puck."
"MY husband? Spike the punch? Never!" Aunt Leah returned. BJ put a hand over her mouth to stop herself from the giggle-fit she was about to have.
"You were sober enough to manage to get Puck into bed last night," Papa argued. "and Leah, you read anything into that, just remember. I know where you live."
From her spot, BJ couldn't see Aunt Leah swatting Papa with something, but she could here "Ow!" loud and clear, which made Daddy wince.
"Why does sound have to be so…loud?" Daddy whined.
"Maybe the punch wasn't spiked. Maybe you're coming down with something," Papa said. "Because I had a few glasses of punch, and I didn't have anything at the bar because I was the DD, and I'm fine."
"Speaking of last night, you both. Were. AWESOMESAUCE!" She retrieved a bottle of Ibuprofen from the cabinet. "Take a couple of those. "
"Thanks," Daddy muttered.
"And not that I want to give you guys MORE of a headache, but as an educator, I know BJ is as Tom-Boy as they come, but that doesn't mean that boys aren't noticing her."
'Ohhhh no. Seriously? She's bringing this subject up? During breakfast? Does she WANT me to lose my appetite?' BJ wondered.
Papa laughed. "I know. She's had a couple of boys come around, Lee."
"And it's not like the kid who was hitting on her last night was the first kid who's ever hit on her," Daddy said. "Who was that she was talking with, anyway?"
"Oh, nobody," Aunt Leah said in a high-pitched voice. "Nobody in particular."
"Lee, you'd make a terrible spy," Papa chided. "You aren't fooling anybody with that tone of voice."
"His name is Dave," she said quickly. "He's a big dumb jock and he's in my remedial class."
"Aaaaand…" Daddy prodded.
"And what more do you really need to know? You're never seeing him again ANYWAY," Aunt Leah argued.
"HIS NAME IS KAROFSKY," BJ blurted out from her spot from behind the den.
"BJ, honey, come in here and get your breakfast before it gets cold," Aunt Leah instructed.
"What did you say, Princess?" Daddy asked her, arms folded.
"Karofsky. His name was Dave Karofsky."
"Get me a phone book," Kurt ordered Leah. "Get me a phone book NOW!"
"Kurt…what do you need…?"
"Leah, he doesn't need the phonebook," Matt said.
"Yes. Yes I do. Do you or do you NOT remember how much hell that douche-bag gave us in high school?"
"One," Papa began slowly, "That was high school. It's been a few years since high school. Two, you need to take a step back and take a deep breath. The likelihood that we will EVER see any of the Karofsy's again anytime soon is slim to none. And Leah just said Mr. Schue had to pull HER off of HIM…and three, we raised her to take care of herself."
BJ made a mental note to find out just who this Karofsky person was. Daddy never really DID like it when other boys came around who were more than friends, but this was different…Dave was a jerk, and she'd wished Uncle Will would've let him punch him out like she wanted to when she had the chance, but now she was curious.
Clearly, it was time to do some more research.
But that could wait.
"Kurt," Matt said warningly as they pulled into the Chang's driveway, "behave."
"And why wouldn't I?" Kurt said, beaming angelically.
"Because I can practically hear the wheels in your head spinning as we speak. You are plotting to get Mike and Mercedes back together."
"I am NOT!" Kurt said indignantly. "Look, I haven't been this mad at Mike since he took me to you and Leah's apartment that one time. I remember why I was so furious, too," he said, avoiding the details for BJ's sake, who was sitting in the back. "And that's why I'm letting them sort this out on their own."
"Daddy, I thought you and Papa were friends before you got together…so…why were you mad at Uncle Mike for bringing you to see him?"
"Long story," Matt and Kurt said in unison.
"Matt, I swear on my stack of Martha Stewart Living magazines that I am going to be the LAST one to interfere with Mike and Mercedes getting back together. I even set her up on a date at the concert last night."
Matt's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"And if I REEEEALLY wanted to set her up, I would've asked her out to lunch with us and left out the fact that we're coming here. Do you see her car anywhere near the driveway?"
Matt had to admit, he didn't. "Hey, whose Jeep IS that parked in the driveway?" he wondered, pointing to the shiny red Wrangler he'd just pulled up behind.
"We'll find out in a second," BJ reasoned, the seatbelt clicking as she climbed out of the car. "And Papa, if you think I'm not going to find out about WHY Daddy didn't want to see you, think again," she smirked, and bounded up the walkway to the house, ringing the doorbell.
"Uncle Twinkle!" she squealed as Mike spun her around. "Who's in the gas-guzzler?"
"That's your Old Man's friends from college. The Parker's."
"Not you again," Chase Parker said from the living room.
"Don't I feel special," BJ said, rolling her eyes. "How goes, Chia Pet?"
Chase just shook his head. "We're playing Dance Party on the Wii if you want to join."
"I apologize for my son, Matt," Clara said, reaching up on her tip-toes to give Matt a hug. "You guys were fantastic last night!"
"Kurt," she said, reaching up to hug him. "So, Matt told me you used to be on Project Runway years and years ago. What was Tim Gunn like?"
"Matt, dude," Terry said, pulling him inside, "most of the time, I'd say you shouldn't quit your day job, but in this case…" Terry said, shaking Matt's hand. "What about working for me?"
"Excuse me?" Matt asked, startled by the question.
"I'm serious, man. Move back home. With the political climate being the way it is now, alternative families are a growing part of the demographic here. We really need someone with your expertise. What's your current job now?"
"I work at Chicago Memorial on their psych unit."
"Jesus Christ, Matt. You work ridiculous hours. Weekends, too, I bet. What would you think about an honest-to-God nine-to-five gig?"
Matt glanced over at Kurt, who was still chattering with Clara. It DID sound tempting, but Matt shook his head. Half-wondering if Susan Chang hadn't put his old friend up to this. "My kid's a sophomore in high school. My partner's established in Chicago. I can't just ask them to pick up and leave."
"Yeah well, at least think about it?" Terry said.
Matt nodded, and was glad when Susan emerged from the kitchen.
"Lunch is ready! I did not slave over a hot stove all morning to have you all wasting time standing around. And most of you are far too skinny," she glared at Chase Parker. "Especially you."