A/N: Some of the dialogue I used will be familiar, but they are not direct quotes. Scene is from the Season 2 Angel episode "Lullaby"

A soul's purpose

Los Angeles, California USA 2001

It's raining as I step onto the roof above Caritas, Darla is sitting on the ledge, looking down at the quiet street below us. I can hear the steady heartbeat of my unborn son as I slowly walk towards her.

I stop a few feet behind her, She looks up and turns her head to look at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Look at them" she whispers, indicating the few people walking below "Lost in their own little world, unaware of what walks this earth" she sighs " I wish it was still that simple" She glances back at me " Would it have been better if I had really died in that bed all those years ago?"

I take a step forward and place my hands on her shoulders "If you had died we never would have met Darla" I whisper rubbing my hands along her shoulders

"And you wouldn't have become a demon" she sighs "All those horrible things we did, all that destruction and death! It would never have happened…."

I can hear the tears in her voice as she whispers to me, a lump catches in the back of my throat and I swallow painfully "We can't change the past Darla, no matter how much we might want to, no matter how much it hurts. No matter how hard we try, we can never take it back" I finish in a whisper

"So why do you try?"

I smile wryly, "To try and make it right… though I know that will never happen " I sigh softly and look away "It's the only thing I can do."

"Does the pain ever stop? Does it get better?"

I pause, considering my options. I settle for the truth "No" I tell her softly

She's silent again, staring out into the rain filled night sky. "I don't know how I'm going to do this…" she mutters so quietly I strain to hear her

"Darla, …"

"Don't Angel please…" she whispers, shaking her head "As soon as this baby is born I'm not going to have a soul anymore!" she turns around and grabs my arms tightly " You know that right! All these feelings I'm having! Their not mine! Their coming from him!" she sniffs again " I won't be able to love him, I won't even be able to remember that I loved him, and I want to remember! I want to remember!" she whispers, tears running down her cheeks

"Oh, Darla " I murmur with tears in my eyes

"Please Angel, don't let me hurt him…" She buries her face in my shirt and sods loudly. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight

"I won't let you hurt him, I'll keep him safe, I promise" I whisper as I stroke her hair

She sniffs "You better!" she mutters. Suddenly she gives a humorless laugh" Some mother I'll be, can't even offer it life, I can only offer it death!" she whispers disgusted with herself

She's crying again, her body shaking with silent sobs "All this death, all this horror!" she whispers softly, her hand against her stomach "How can anyone bring a baby into this world?"

I hunker down and kneel on the wet cement, I wrap my arms around her waist, holding her close I lean my cheek against her chest "That's just it Darla, this child… It's the reason we are here..." I pause

"It's our purpose!" I finish in a whisper

A/N: This was one of my favourite scenes in Angel. It was just so sad, and beautiful and *happy sigh* the writing was amazing!!… it made my cry! but i'm such a sap! Anyway... I wanted to try writing it from Angel's pov, I'm afraid a lot of the dialogue is close to what was in the original script. Sorry about that.. I didn't want to change it that much, i thought all the dialoge in this scene was supurb... i just added the bit at the beginning and the end!! My fav part of this chapter is "This child… it's the reason we are here. It's our purpose" I truly believe that is what life's purpose is, to continue the existence of humanity... , and wow i just realised how preachy and totally hippy that sounds!! haha..

peace out dudes!!!

Lia