Ch. 21- Strange Sort of Goodbye

It was sometime in the night when Kurama woke up to soft crying. He noticed Arwen was not next to him. He scanned the darkened room. The bathroom door was closed and there was faint light coming from under the doorway. He got up and knocked on the door. The crying quickly turned to sniffling.

"Are you alright, Arwen?" Kurama asked concerned. There was a long moment of silence.

"No." she finally answered.

"Do you need my help?" he asked.

"Yes." she replied. He opened the door to find her sitting on the wooden toilet in the light of a lantern. She looked embarrassed and dreadfully sad. He hated seeing her this way. Her could see her underwear on the floor. "I came in to pee and... um, noticed all the bleeding." He came over to her and knealt down.

"Let's clean you up again in the tub." he suggested. "Aleira said the bleeding could last a few days."

"I feel so disabled right now." she stated. "I can't even clean myself up at this point. What am I going to do when you leave again?" Kurama swallowed hard.

"I don't know." he replied not looking in her eyes. "I will stay a few days so hopefully the bleeding will stop by then. Come on." He helped her up and took off her under dress. He helped her in the tub. Aleira had left the fire going that heated the water. He pumped in a mixture of cold and hot, occasionally checking the water in the tub. He only filled it a couple of inches. Just enough for Arwen to get clean. He took a cloth frombthe side of the tub and was about to wash her, but she took it from him.

"I can do this." she said. As she washed herself her retrieved fresh underwear for her and folded up a cloth to put in. When she was done, he helped her out and dried her off. He helped her redress and led her back to bed. Her movement was slow and obviously filled with pain. She grumbled as she laid down. He covered her and sat on the side of the bed.

"What were you thinking, Arwen?" he asked softly. "Going into that barn alone?"

"I was thinking my kid wanted eggs." she replied. "With all the dangerous things I've done, how was I to know it would be that damn ladder that would get me?" she said almost jokingly. Kurama sat silent not daring to look at her.

"I've been selfish and foolish." he stated. "I think when I leave, I should stay gone until I can bring you home." Arwen pushed herself up despite the pain and sat next to him.

"Please don't, Kurama!" she begged. She put her left hand into his long silver hair. She put her head against his right arm. "I need you. We need you."

"I can't be what I need to be right now so torn." he stated.

"Give it up, Kurama." she begged. "Stop being the king of thieves."

"And do what?" he questioned looking down into her face. She felt his gaze and looked up.

"Just be a father and a husband." she stated.

"How would I support you and take care of you and Mials?" he asked. "What kind of father and husband would I be if I didn't. Being a thief is all I know." She looked away from him as her eyes mist. He wrapped his right arm around her carefully and turned to her more. She buried her face in his chest. His left hand softly cradled her head.

"Then take us with you now." she said her voice cracking.

"I can't." he stated trying to hide his emotions. "You and Mials make me soft. I can't be soft right now. I must remain cold and calculating until I have a group I can trust and the wealth and power to protect you and Mials." There was a long moment of silence. "I can only hope you understand." He kissed her head sweetly.

"I'm trying." she whispered.

After a few days, Arwen began to improve. She knew that meant that Kurama would be leaving soon and not returning for a long while. Neither of them told anyone of their conversation, but she would have to after he's long gone. The day he left they acted as if it was just another normal goodbye. They waved him goodbye at the house. Even Mials seemed okay with letting his father go. Arwen's heart sank and she felt sick about this goodbye. When he was gone, she went to her room and wept. Regina and Ceala came in to comfort her. Regina laid on the bed behind Arwen who was laying on her left side and Ceala got in front of Arwen. They held her gently, but tightly.

"It's alright, Arwen." said Regina. "He'll come back. He always does."

"No, he won't!" she sobbed. "He's gone!