Kishi no Kakera

A/N: The next chapter of Hosshinkishi-hen is here, just in time for June. Say hello to Chapter 21: Evasion.

"With this, your hope, your dreams, they amount to nothing. Perish!" Ryami shouted. His eyes shone a sinister gold, and it was quite clear what had happened. He had manifested the dark strength of the Syndrome…and was wielding it against me. Running forwards, he swung his sword in a devastating arc, slamming into my own sword. I held the assault off, but the impact brought me to my knees.

No way…I…what do I do? I can't hold this off forever.

Despair started to find its way into my heart, the futility of the current situation starting to sink in. I started to wonder if Ryami was right, that I couldn't defeat him.

No…I won't give up. If this monster overcomes me…there won't be anything standing between him and my friends. Who knows the kind of things he could do to Rika, let alone the others.

I stood back up, holding the blade in front of me defensively.

"Why persist? You know this is a futile struggle. I'm far stronger than you. After all, you rely on my strength when things get too tough for you." Ryami taunted me. He struck lightly, forcing me to defend. I knew he was holding back…toying with me.

Ryami is the darkness of my heart. What have I done in order to supress him in the past? I tried using friendship, creating this sword with it…but it isn't enough. No…there's something else. Anger and hatred give Ryami power, they're emotions rooted in darkness. But then…their opposites should be what I need. The opposite of anger…joy. The opposite of hatred…love.

I realized what I could use…the ultimate weapon.

It's so simple. Simple friendship can help us weather the harshest of storms...but to banish it, you need more. You need...

I dropped the sword I'd forged from friendship, jumping back from Ryami. Separated from me, the sword burst into a multicolored stream of sparks and disappeared.

"It's true. Alone, you overpower me easily. I truly am weak…if I'm alone, fighting solely for myself. That's why it's lucky that I'm not alone. When there's someone I'm fighting for…someone I want to protect, someone I want to be with…that's when I can draw on true strength. That's why I'll keep fighting…for Rika…for my friends…and for Rena. I don't know how she feels…but I know how I feel, and that's what matters right now. I want to survive this…, so I can save my friends, and so I can hear Rena's answer. It's time to finish this.

Rena…my feelings for her…they're love. Love and joy, the perfect counter.

"You're delusional. You can't defeat what you can't accept. Reap death from the power you cannot hope to master!" Ryami charged at me, intending to end the battle in a single strike.

Blue flames burst around me, an intense inferno that repelled Ryami. The flames felt incredibly powerful, but they also felt gentle, refusing to burn me. The flames began to swirl all round, eventually condensing into a familiar shape. A young girl, holding a nata composed of blue fire.

"How…how the hell are you here!" Ryami shouted. Rena smiled, holding her nata towards Ryami, the threat obvious. Flames burst forth from the ground, burning in front of her, forming a barrier, which Ryami immediately started trying to break through with devastating sword blows.

"You really are stupid, aren't you? Didn't you hear what Ryan was just talking about? Fine, I guess I'll spell it out. I'm not really Rena; I'm Ryan's feelings for her, namely, love. He loves Rena more than any other person, including himself…that's the reason I took on this shape, nothing more." Rena said. Her voice seemed slightly off, almost a merger between hers and mine. She turned to me.

"I hate to agree with what he said, but he's right. You can't win right now. Even with the power you're using through me, you're only delaying the inevitable. You need to escape this place, break your isolation, and reunite with your real friends. If you are with others, you can hold the Syndrome back, but alone, the darkness in your heart will erode your will and Ryami will take over your soul."

"Leave!? But…how? I don't know…" I started to say.

"Before you came here, you saw a golden kakera, and you disappeared in a flash of light when you touched it, did you not? Then you found out that you are in your own soul…you and I both know what that implies. So let me ask you…how do you normally leave a kakera?" Rena said.

That golden kakera…that wasn't a dream, it must have happened. But…something isn't right, the events don't match up. If that golden kakera is supposed to be my soul…then why was Hanyuu acting the way she was. As for how I normally leave a kakera…that's depends on Hanyuu.

"Don't try and figure out the mystery of the golden kakera now. Try talking with Hanyuu when you see her…but for now, you need to call on her to escape…or at least her counterpart in this world. I'll protect you from Ryami while you figure it out." Rena said. I nodded in response.

…Hanyuu? I need to escape this place. Are you there?

"I am. Are you ready now?" Hanyuu's appeared in front of me and answered, though I noticed her voice was slightly distorted, just as Rena's was. She was a part of me as well.

"Rena…thanks for helping me get my bearings. I know you're a part of me…so really, it's like I'm just talking to myself…but I'm grateful anyways." I said. Rena smiled at me.

"You're welcome. Now go…he's almost broken through." Rena said. Her flame barrier was almost broken.

"Wait! Just what is Ryami exactly? Do you know?" I asked.

"Just as I am the personification of your love and joy…Ryami is the personification of your anger, hatred, and regret. Essentially, he is the Syndrome personified. He is what you will become if you lose yourself completely to the Syndrome. You have to hold him back…or terrible things will happen…now go! Go before it's too late!"

"Okay. Thank you." I said.

Hanyuu…let's go.

The world started to glow white, before fading away to black.

I woke up with a gasp. Around me was the sterile white of a hospital room…actually, I recognized this room.

This is…Okinomiya General Hospital…it's actually the same room Rena was taken to in that first world…

I pressed the call button, before simply lying down and thinking.

Why would I arrive in Okinomiya? Unless…

"You're awake!?" The nurse said, surprised, as she entered the room.

"Y-yeah. Um…may I ask…what's the date?" I said.

"Uh…well, we should probably do some tests before you try doing anything…" The nurse avoided my question.

"I asked what the date is." I repeated.

"Well…you see…it's against policy to tell you that."

"Against policy? What do you mean!?" I shouted. I tried to get up…only to realize my body was extremely weak. I struggled up anyways.

"I see you've noticed. Coma victims generally react poorly to discovering their condition."

A coma…so how long has it been? I don't look or feel that much older…so it can't be decades or something crazy like that…but it's definitely no longer June of 1983.

"I don't care about policy! I understand I've lost time, probably a lot. But…there were people depending on me, so tell me how long it's been…even just in general!"

"I can't…"

"Then get me someone who can!" I shouted. The nurse nodded, and left the room.

I may as well face facts. It is no longer June, and Rika told me herself that Hanyuu's power would cease to function once it became July. Either she is alive, in which case the things I've done were enough to protect her, or she isn't, in which case I've failed miserably.

A doctor entered the room, and sat down in the chair next to my bed.

"So can you answer my question?" I asked. The doctor shook his head.

"The nurse who was just here was correct in stating that it's against policy…but I have questions for you. The most important one is this…how were you injured in the manner you were?"

"How was I injured? Why does that…"

"Gunshot wounds are not a typical injury. Either you were attacked…or you had a run in with law enforcement. In either case, the authorities are to be notified. You can answer me, and I can supply the officers with the information they want, or you can be questioned. It's up to you Aminiko."

The police…no, the Yamainu probably have men in the force. Wait a minute…

"How did you know my name?" I asked.

"Pardon?"

"I had no identification on me, and I only just recently moved to Japan, meaning there aren't records you could use to identify me. How did you…" I saw the doctor frown, before he withdrew a syringe and lunged at me, trying to stab me with it. I rolled off the bed, getting out of range, with a sudden burst of strength…the Syndrome awakening as a response to danger.

Damn…I gotta be careful. If I go out of control now…who knows what I'll do. Ryami was the proof that the darkness of my heart is stronger than what I can withstand alone. Not to mention that I can't use it for long without trashing my body.

"You're with them, aren't you!? You're a member of the Yamainu!" I accused.

"…It would have been so much simpler had you just answered the questions. You would have been taken to a secure facility to treat the Syndrome, and you may have even made it out alive. Now we need to do this the hard way." He said. He began getting closer, and I backed away slowly, until I hit the wall. Beside me was a window, and I could see this was the second story.

"Alive? What about the people of Hinamizawa!? You people murdered 2000 people…and for what!? What the hell are you trying to accomplish?"

Takano has her own goals…but who's supporting her and why? Who is behind the Yamainu?

"Hinamizawa was unfortunate, but a necessary sacrifice. Japan can ill afford to have a powder keg like that sitting inside its borders. Hinamizawa Syndrome is a dangerous illness…but it can also be a powerful weapon in the right hands. That's why we need you…the only known survivor of the Syndrome."

I showed Irie my control over the Syndrome…and that's why they're after me. That's why I'm alive, even though they knew where I was. But…I won't be a pawn for them. Ryami was right when he said I wanted to be a fairy-tale knight…able to protect everyone. But now, I'll put my money where my mouth is. I'll show that black hearted shadow of mine exactly what I can do…and I won't need him to do it. I'll save everyone, no matter what.

"A necessary sacrifice!? If it hadn't been for you people, they'd all be alive. This torment that I endure…it's your fault. I won't be a pawn for you to use. I am Ryan Aminiko, and you can tell those people you work for that I am much more than just a survivor. I'll become the demon in the night to you people. That's the only way I can avenge my fallen home."

"And what makes you think you'll have the chance." The doctor sneered at me.

I don't have a choice. Hospital slippers and robes aren't ideal clothing, but they'll have to do.

"That's easy. I'll just leave here, and you can't stop me. Tell your superiors that the Demon Knight of Hinamizawa is coming for them…no matter how long it takes. Even if I die, I will rise again. No matter what you do, I will never allow you to win this war!"

Balling up my fist, I smashed the window, and quickly leapt out of it, only sustaining minor cuts doing so. The doctor ran to the window staring at me as I landed, before running back inside.

I've got to get away for now. Both the Yamainu and the police are going to be pursuing me. I may talk big, but for now, I'm too weak to even think about fighting them head on.

Running out of the parking lot, I turned down the main street.

Where do I go? Where can I find allies…the only places I know of that have any connection to my friends are the game shop that Mion's uncle runs…and Angel Mort. I think trying to reach the restaurant is a better choice. I really wish I knew exactly where Shion lives. I'll play it by ear and see how it goes.

Continuing down the road, I noticed it was much colder than I remembered.

Is it fall? Or perhaps spring. One thing is certain, it definitely isn't June. Damn…I have no idea what I'm going to do…but until I manage to contact Rika and Hanyuu…I can't die. I must survive.

White vans drove ahead of me and cut off the road. Looking back, I saw more had parked behind me. I was surrounded.

Damn…what do I do?

I scanned the surrounding area, and noticed an alleyway. Running into it, I tried to put some distance between me and the Yamainu chasing me. I made it to a courtyard of sorts, when each of the three exits was blocked off by a van. Men poured out of the vehicles, each armed with stun guns. There were 9 in total.

…This is bad. I'm trapped.

I looked around again, and noticed a discarded broom handle, which had broken where the broom itself was. I grabbed it and held it defensively, much like a bō.

I don't know how to fight well with this, but it's my only shot.

"Come peacefully. We don't want to risk killing you." One of the men walked forwards.

"I'd rather die than help you people. After what you did to Hinamizawa…how dare you!" I shouted.

"We gave you a chance." He said, before he and his men readied their stun guns."

Rage filled my body, and I strained to rein it in.

This is a residential area…if I lose it…who knows how many people will die before I can control myself. No…I can't take that risk. Even if death is my only other option, I will not kill the innocent…not again. I grit my teeth and brandished my weapon, feeble though it was.

"Bring it on!" I yelled, charging forwards, ready to fight for survival.

After escaping from Hinamizawa, the remaining members of the Games Club had managed to reach Shion's apartment. She took them in, and learned their story. As they had lost everything after the destruction of Hinamizawa, Mion, as newly appointed head of the Sonozaki family, pulled out all the stops in supporting her friends, mostly by buying the apartment building that Shion lived in and giving all her friends an apartment, as well as paying for their day to day living expenses. However, the older members of the club, not wanting to simply freeload, took part time jobs in order to defray the costs somewhat.

Despite the fact that they'd managed to elude the Yamainu, they were still wary, and each looked out for the others, only going out in groups, though after several months had passed, they relaxed their guard.

As of late, Keiichi had left to go to Tokyo and speak with some of his extended family members with matters concerning his inheritance, seeing as his parents had died in the disaster. They also intended to attempt to force him to move back to Tokyo, though Keiichi was adamant of the point of not leaving his friends. Satoko accompanied him, having latched on to him as an older brother figure. After losing Ryan, she had entered a state of depression, and only Keiichi seemed to be able to pierce her shroud of gloom. This relationship was another reason Keiichi refused to leave.

All in all, life had returned to a semblance of normalcy, though below the surface, each felt the gnawing pain of loss…but none more than Rena, though she hid it well.

"See you later Yoshirou." Rena said. She'd just finished her shift at the toy store, where both she and Mion worked. It had been a slow day.

"See you on Thursday!" Yoshirou; Mion's uncle and the owner of the toy shop, called back.

"Yeah!" Rena said as she darted out the door. She walked quietly, simply watching people go about their business. She glanced in the direction of Angel Mort.

Shion should be off work soon. I think I'll stop by.

Rena quickly walked towards the doors, only to nearly run into Mion and Shion, who were exiting.

"Rena? Oh, you got off work now too. That's great, we can all walk together."

"Yeah, I was just seeing if Shion was off work…but why are you here Mion? I thought you were supposed to go grocery shopping today."

"I took care of those ages ago. I thought I'd come pick up Onee-chan, so she doesn't get lost and wander off."

"Hey!" Shion shouted.

The two of them started arguing, though their bickering was good-natured.

"We should probably go; otherwise it'll be too late to cook dinner." Rena pointed out. The two twin girls stopped fighting and nodded in agreement, and the three of them began walking towards home. They were walking down their usual route past the hospital and down a side street when they heard a shout from pretty far away.

"I'd rath…elp you, af…you did…mizawa."

"Did…did that person just say Hinamizawa?" Mion said. She turned to Rena…only to see that she had taken off in a dead sprint.

That voice…

Rena ran forwards towards where she had heard the voice. She was almost certain…and yet it was impossible.

He died…otherwise; he would have found us by now. I'd just…just started feeling like things could be normal again? Why…why now!

She saw that white vans had blocked off an alleyway. Rena simply sped up and jumped over the hood of one of the vans.

"It can't be…" Rena said in disbelief.

"No way!" I blocked another strike with the broom handle, preventing the electricity from stunning me. I slowly backed away, using the weapon as a deterrent…but it was a losing battle.

What do I do? There isn't any way to break through.

"It can't be…" A small voice said from behind the group of men…a voice I recognized. I glanced over…and saw Rena.

The men turned and saw Rena, and three of them broke off from the group.

"Grab the girl too…she's seen too much. We can dispose of her later." One of the men said.

Dispose...no…No…NO!

"Shini!" I shouted, a surge of strength rushing through me as the Syndrome fully awoke to Level 5. I swung the handle in a devastating arc, fueled by the Syndrome's power, which knocked several of the men back from me, and KO'd one of them.

"Never…ever…threaten Rena, or I'll send you straight to hell!" I shouted. The Yamainu seemed to grow afraid at this development.

"He's…he's using the Syndrome? What do we do?" One of them said fearfully. The one I'd picked out as the leader turned to face his subordinate.

"He's only one person, and he's weakened from being in a coma. Just do it like we practiced and we'll be fine." He said. I merely smiled.

"You obviously don't know who you're dealing with…let me show you…the true power of the Syndrome!" I shouted, trying to intimidate them.

"Ryan-kun! Be careful!" Rena shouted to me. I noticed she'd grabbed a metal rod to use as a weapon, and stood against three men, who were trying to surround her.

I'll protect her…that's what this strength is really for. With her here…I can control this. I can do this.

I darted forwards and slammed my own weapon into the nearest man, who stumbled backwards. Jumping back, I threw the handle like a spear, which slammed into yet another man, bringing him to his knees, the wind knocked out of him. I settled into a neutral stance.

Rena is right. Even with the Syndrome, I'm not invincible…and using the Syndrome exacts a heavy cost. But right now, I have to use it to live…and to protect her.

The four men who were still capable to fighting me slowly advanced, their stun guns held forward, trying to ward me off. I waited for just the right moment, before I lunged with a kick, knocking one of the stun guns from the lead man, before decking him with a powerful punch, dropping him. I tried to leap back…only to realize my mistake. While I'd been preoccupied with the first man, the other three had quickly surrounded me.

"So this was your plan." I glanced from one to the other, trying to pick a weak point…but there was none. Where before they had seemed afraid…now they were the picture of confidence. I realized that their earlier fear was merely a ruse. I forced myself to calm down, easing out of the Syndrome, in order to prevent myself from making a rash decision.

But…that doesn't help me…how do I escape. What do I do now?

Rena was fighting the last of the three men who had attacked her, the other two lying unconscious. I noticed her eyes were glowing.

That's not good either…Rena's using the Syndrome too. But…can she control it? I have to pray she can.

"You've lost. Surrender now, or die. You aren't worth the lives of my men, and damn what my superiors say."

"How about you surrender. You may have beaten me, but you'll be no match for Rena. She'll wipe the floor with you, and you know it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be trying to get me to surrender. Time is on my side right now."

"Damn you…damn you!" The man shouted angrily. He moved forwards, before suddenly stopping, the sound of a stun gun being used suddenly met my ears. At first, I thought I'd been hit, but when I glanced around, I realized my mistake. The man I'd been speaking with fell forwards, revealing Mion and Shion standing behind him. Almost in unison, they darted in opposite directions. With a powerful haymaker, Mion took out the man on her side, while Shion stunned the other, while dodging his own strike. Shion ran forward and attacked the other men, who were beginning to recover. In seconds, every enemy near me was down.

Talk about good timing…if they hadn't shown up…

"Ryan! You…you're alive!?" Mion said, obviously surprised.

"I am…thank you both; that was good timing on your part." I said. Shion nodded.

"Now's not the time, but when we get somewhere safe, boy, do I have a lot of questions, and you are going to answer them, like it or not." Shion said. Something in her voice said she wasn't thrilled to see me.

"Hmm…outright hostility on meeting me…I'd say Mion's told you about what I told her." Shion scowled.

"Not the time, but yes. Now let's go." Shion was gruff, taking charge. She ran towards Rena, as well as the one remaining Yamainu agent.

"She's acting like you usually do. Did you switch places again?" I asked. Mion smiled.

"No, she's just become really protective since…you know." Mion said, a little sadly. She put her arm around my shoulders, and the added weight actually mattered.

"I understand. Um…where are you guys staying…I could really use a rest right now. I'm exhausted." Mion nodded.

"You look it too. We're not too far from here; let's get out of here before they wake up." Rena and Shion rejoined us, Rena having returned to normal, and we quickly made our way to the apartment building where everyone was apparently staying.

Shion was forced to wait on questioning me, since as soon as we reached the apartment; I simply collapsed onto the couch and fell asleep, exhausted.

When I awoke, it was nighttime. As I glanced around the room, I noticed a cold cloth was on my forehead, so I took it off and placed it in a nearby bowl of water. Rena was lightly dozing on a chair beside the couch, and I realized she had been caring for me while I slept.

Am I sick...or maybe I just pushed myself too hard? Either way…Rena, you stayed by my side. Thank you.

Gently moving Rena, I placed her onto the couch and covered her up. She smiled, settling into a comfortable pose, before falling more deeply asleep.

I walked around the quiet apartment I found myself in, taking note of where everything was, and cleaning myself up in the bathroom. When I emerged, one of the Sonozaki twins was sitting in the chair beside Rena.

"Hey. Which one are you?" I asked bluntly.

"Shion. Now that you're awake…I want to talk to you." She said. The undertone of hostility was still in her voice.

"Fine…but before that, I want to ask you something. Please stop acting like I'm your enemy. I'm not."

"That's not what I heard from my sister." She replied.

"I'll give you the whole story on that, and then you'll understand why my actions in that world were justified. Or are you so arrogant to think you can't make mistakes." I said. Shion glared at me.

"Fine then. Explain. I'd just love to know what exactly justifies murdering me." Shion said sarcastically.

"How about your own murder of Rika, or the kidnapping and torture of Satoko and Rena. Perhaps imprisoning your sister? Or maybe the bloody mess you left in my house, along with a threatening letter? Do any of these things sound like they'd justify self defense?" I started to get aggravated and raise my voice, before I noticed Rena stirring. I motioned for Shion to follow me, before walking out onto the balcony.

"I wouldn't do things like that. How do I know you aren't lying?"

"If you can't trust what I'm saying, you also can't trust what Mion said about me, seeing as her source of information is also from me. Seeing as I'm not glorifying myself, I'd say I'm pretty trustworthy. As for your motives…well, you did have one…although I'm not saying that makes what you did ok. But before I go any further, I want to say this much. The Shion of that world is a different person than you are. You experienced different things. It's best to think of that Shion as a you that could have been…but isn't. Because of that, even though that Shion was my enemy…that doesn't make you my enemy." I said.

"Alright…why would I do something like that?" Shion asked. She seemed to be calmer, and her voice had softened.

"Before I answer that, I have a question for you. What's your opinion on Satoko? It's important, be honest." I said. Shion blinked, surprised.

"Satoko? Hmph…she's needy, and clings to people too much. She needs to grow up." Shion said.

"I thought as much. The other you thought much the same. She blamed Satoko for weakening Satoshi, and allowing him to be captured…all false accusations, but that's what she thought." I said.

"False accusations? That is what happened!" Shion said in protest.

"No. Satoshi had the Syndrome, just like Rena and I do. However, unlike me…and apparently Rena, he couldn't control it. He was driven to murder his aunt in an effort to protect both himself and Satoko, but became delusional and believed she was still alive and trying to kill him. Because of that, Irie was forced to hide him away, inducing a coma so he didn't die from the Syndrome's effects. If he hadn't…Satoshi would have died by clawing out his own throat." I said.

"How do you know this!?" Shion asked.

"Rika told me a lot…and I also saw Satoshi in the hidden part of Irie Clinic. But…that isn't the important part. The you of that world believed the Sonozaki family kidnapped him, and you blamed Satoko, believing that her reliance on him weakened him to the point where he couldn't defend himself. You were doing some investigations, and broke into the Saiguden, when I noticed and followed you. That cemented me in your eyes as an enemy, and also Rika, since I told her. You thought that we were trying to curse you…again, untrue." I said. Shion had stopped interrupting, and allowed me to continue. She seemed to understand the logic her other self had followed.

"Because of that, you kidnapped Rena in order to get to me, even using her blood to write me a pretty gruesome message in my home. When I saw that, I came after you. At that point, you'd already murdered Rika, while Satoko and Rena had only suffered minor injuries. When I fought against you, you manifested the highest level of the Syndrome, and beat me down pretty easily, though I managed to bait you into letting your guard down. We stabbed each other, you died pretty much instantly…while I managed to stay alive long enough to free Satoko, Rena, and Mion. After that…well, long story short, everyone died, murdered by the Yamainu. Mion was killed when she returned to Hinamizawa in an effort to learn the truth, which also let me know that Satoshi, your mother, and your grandmother had died as well. Although…after we died, you and I both arrived in the Sea of Kakera, and we made up. We became friends." I said.

"…I'm sorry." Shion said, her voice softening. I glanced at her.

"The way Mion said it…it sounded like you killed me in cold blood. Maybe…I just didn't want to believe it. That I could be…" Shion was holding herself, self-loathing clear in her voice. I stepped forwards and hugged her, eliciting a gasp from the girl.

"Stop it. I don't blame you. The Syndrome is a terrible thing; it's not your f…" I started to say.

"But you and Rena can control it! Why…am I so weak that I can't? Why…" Shion said her voice breaking. She started to cry.

"It's not a matter of weakness or strength…but rather of having a reason to fight. I've done some pretty terrible things, and I've killed, both to defend myself and in cold blood. Rena was forced to kill in order to protect herself, and I'm sure she fought when she was escaping Hinamizawa. Those memories, of the horrible things we've done…they give us the strength to overcome the Syndrome. But you…you didn't have that. In fact, from what I can tell…you are more a victim than most. The other you also told me about your past. For instance, I know about your family's archaic laws, as well as one of the punishments they inflicted on you. Does 'three fingernails' sound familiar?"

"…" Shion was speechless, in utter shock.

"I'm not saying it gives you any more right than anyone else…but I do understand where you were coming from. That's why I keep fighting. All of my friends seem to have tragedies marring their past…so I want to give them a shining future, a future where all of us can be happy. That's Rika's dream…and my own." I said. Shion spent a moment composing herself, only speaking once she had regained control of herself.

"Ryan…about Rika…" Shion started to say. I shook my head.

"I already figured it out. I haven't seen Hanyuu, and Rika would have sought me out if she was here. She died before making it here…didn't she." I said sadly.

"She sacrificed herself in order to let everyone else escape." Shion said.

"That's just like her. Shion…I need to know something. How much time have I lost? What's the date?" I asked.

"It's…October 25, 1983 as of 15 minutes ago." Shion said.

4 months I lost…

"Shion…I'm going to rest up, get my strength back…and then I need to go somewhere. I need…" I started to say.

"You're going back, aren't you? Back to Hinamizawa." I nodded.

"I can't talk to Hanyuu…and I really need to. I need to know if I'm trapped in this world, or if there's some way to reunite with them. I'm glad everyone survived…but I can't stay. I made Rika a promise. I promised I'd break the cycle of torment she's trapped in. This world…It's pretty good… but it's not the perfect future I'm fighting for. I don't belong here." I said.

"…the others aren't going to be happy." Shion said.

"That is why I don't plan to tell them. Well…I…I need to tell Rena. I owe her that much at least."

"She really cares about you, you know. She…she was really torn up and depressed when she first got here. She's only just started to recover. If you leave her again…" Shion left it unsaid, but I knew. Leaving Rena would mentally destroy her.

"I know that. I don't want to hurt her…but I don't know if I can protect her this time." I said sadly.

"Are you sure that you can't stay here? Maybe it's not perfect, but…" Shion said. I interrupted her before she could finish.

"I can't abandon Rika. I promised her. My word is one of the few things I have left. I won't break it if I have a choice." I said.

"Never going back on your word. That's a good quality to have." Shion said.

"But it makes my life a living hell sometimes." I said. Shion laughed at that.

"Not funny…" I said, annoyed. Shion shook her head. We stood in silence for a moment.

"Can I ask you something?" Shion said.

"Sure." I answered.

"What do you think of me? I mean...after what you've told me, I need to know. Am I...a monster?" Shion asked shyly.

"Why are you asking?" I said.

"I'm…well, you have more insight, since you've seen a side of me no one else has." Shion said.

I thought about it for a minute.

"I think…you're fierce, and powerful…but also mistrustful. You're also pretty loyal, which you showed me when you warned Keiichi of what you thought was danger. But…when things go badly for you, you become cruel and sadistic. You enjoy others suffering, probably because of your own, and place yourself above others. You care more about your own suffering than that of others, no matter how great." I said.

"…that's harsh." Shion said. I shook my head.

"But…I don't think for a moment I know everything about you. I saw you at your absolute worst…and that doesn't include what's happened in this world. Here…I see you as a kind, protective girl, who cares for her sisters friends despite her own personal conflicts with one of them."

"Hmm…I can accept that. Thank you…maybe I can change. I don't…I don't want to be a monster. I want...I want friends. I've always wanted friends." She said quietly.

"You don't need to worry. If anyone is a monster here…it's me. As for friends, I'll always be yours." I said. Shion started to ask me what I meant about being a monster, but I waved her off, entering the apartment again and sitting in the chair, falling asleep almost instantly. I tossed and turned, nightmares from my past tormenting me.

You killed because you wished to save Satoshi. Your intent was pure, even though your methods were not. But I've killed in cold blood. Not all the Yamainu are evil, some are merely deceived, tricked by Takano and those she works for…but I slay them none the less, and I have no intention of stopping. That Shion and I…are we really so different?

I woke up a couple hours later, just as tired as when I went to sleep. I glanced at the couch, and noticed a certain girl watching me from the couch.

"…Rena." I said simply.

"Ryan-kun…" She said. We both seemed to be at a loss as to what to say.

"…Rena. I need to tell you something." I said.

"You're leaving. Right?" Rena said.

"Huh…how did you know?" I said, surprised. Rena smiled at me, placing her hand on my chest.

"You want to go after Rika, right? You said you both can travel between worlds, and since Rika died in this world…you'll want to go after her."

"…That's right. But…I don't know if I can. I'm going back to Hinamizawa to try and speak with Hanyuu. Since I can't speak with her now, I think that the only place where I'll be able to see her is at the place where her strength is strongest…Furude Shrine. Rena…I'm sorry. I can't stay…but I don't want to hurt…" I said, before Rena interrupted me.

"It's ok Ryan. I understand. But before you go, I want to answer you. You asked me…what I thought about you, right?" Rena moved closer to me, holding me. I stiffened for a moment in surprise, before relaxing, holding her closer.

"I think I love you too…but I'm not sure. I don't know what this feeling is. I want to explore this feeling with you…but…I feel like you need to go, even though I don't want you to. I feel…like I can't keep you from what you're meant to do. But…that's ok. I don't want you to worry…so just do your best. Alright, Ryan-kun?" I smiled.

"Alright, Rena-chan." I said.

"Just…don't forget me. Can I ask at least that much?" Rena said. I could feel her sadness. I moved closer and hugged her as hard as I could.

"I could never forget you Rena…I'm so sorry!" I felt tears fall, and didn't care.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow…I read that somewhere once. It almost feels like it would have been better to not have been reunited with you, if we had simply gone on without ever knowing if the other survived. It hurts so much that you need to go and I can't go with you…but…I'm still glad I got to see you, one last time. Even though it hurts."

"Rena-chan…"

"Do your best, and don't give up. Rika-chan is counting on you." Rena gave me a bright smile. I stopped crying and returned it.

"Thank you. I was worried that I'd hurt you…I'm glad that isn't the case." I said.

"Ryan-kun…can I just ask one more thing without seeming selfish? Ryan-kun…can you stay here for the night? Can you stay…with me? Just for tonight?" She said quietly. I simply nodded, held her close, and lay down on the couch. We didn't say anything more. We didn't have to. We drifted off, still holding each other. Throughout the night, I felt safe and at peace. I didn't feel guilt and sadness from my past, nor did I have nightmares. I felt…happy.

Thank you Rena. I need this too. I need to stop feeling like a monster, like 'Ryami'. I need to feel like 'Ryan' again. I need to feel human. I need...you.

A/N: I bet no-one realized Ryan wasn't actually dead. What happened in the last chapter will be explained in time, and it's quite important, so don't forget it. Also, I'm aware that Ryan's depiction of coming out of a coma is unrealistic, but I didn't want to try and write a semi-conscious person slowly awakening over several weeks, seeing as I have no personal experience with it, and is probably quite boring. Anyways…I think this is going rather well, aside from the 1 month post times…which are bothering me. Oh well. Next chapter ought to be exciting. Like always, leave praise or criticism if you want.

On a side note, I'm working on an omake, which will likely be placed between this arc and the next. I hope you enjoy it.