Hiya guys!

Disclaimers: All randomness came from my head, as crazy as that place is. However, Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy and anything else is probably owned by either Disney or Square Enix. Or possibly McDonald's. they own pretty much EVERYTHING.

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Castle That Never Was

"I am sooooo bored." Xigbar complains. He starts cleaning his Arrowgun for the fifth time.

"You're not the one on babysitting duty." Xaldin snarls, glaring at a tiny Marluxia.

"…… Flower?" Marluxia says innocently. He holds out a daisy.

"NO I DO NOT WANT A FUCKIN' FLOWER YOU LITTLE NEOPHYTE!" Xaldin screams. Marluxia responds by ducking behind the couch in fear.

"XALDIN!" Mrs. Minami warns.

"YOU WANT SOMETHING?!" Xaldin growls. She glares at him and picks up the sobbing Marluxia.

"It's okay, baby…. Rasta man isn't going to hurt you." She takes him away.

"… ONE MORE PERSON CALLS ME RASTA MAN AND I'M GOING TO-"

"Hi Rasta man! Hi Xiggy!" Axel greets them with a cheerful grin.

"Hi hi!" Roxas waves to them as Axel's been put in charge of the toddler.

"Hey shorties! What's shakin'?" Xigbar asks.

"Xaldy fwom tewwible anger." Roxas says, pointing.

"…… HEY!" Xigbar suddenly realizes something.

"Wha?" Axel says, looking around. He didn't see anything weird.

"Roxas… How old are you?" Roxas holds up 3 fingers.

"This many!"

"Roxas! I didn't know it was your birthday!" Axel complains, crossing his arms and resenting the fact that he probably missed the cake and ice cream.

"Oh! He's getting bigger! … Where's Xi Xi?" Xigbar asks.

"… Playing dolls with Kairi and Larxy." Axel tells him.

"….Larxene playing dolls. … I GOTTA SEE THIS!"

Larxene's Room (Temporarily the Girls' Room)

"Larxene! You can't do that to the dollie!" Kairi protests, staring in shock.

"Sooo? I'm bigger, I can kill it!" Larxene says, shoving the rest of the Barbie into a toy oven. She somehow rigged it to ACTUALLY work and to be able to fry stuff inside.

"Shoulda figured." Xigbar says, peeking into the room.

"UNCLE XIIIGGGGYYYY!!!" Xion squeals, tackling his legs.

"Hey, squirt! Larxy acting good?" He asks, picking her up in a big hug.

"She fried Barbie, and Ken, and Bubbles too!" Xion whispers.

"….. Wooow….. Bubbles huh?" Xigbar says, grinning.

"I don't like Powerpuff girls." Larxene states and points to the charred remains of what used to be a Bubbles doll.

"….I should probably tell Xemnas…. But this is WAY too funny." Xigbar sits down and watches Larxene fry some more toys in the oven.

"Larxy! This one next!" Xion hands over a small plush bunny. Larxene smiles diabolically as she cranks up the oven.

"Girls! It's dinnertime!" Mrs. Minami calls out.

"Oooh, dinner!" Larxene unplugs the toy oven and rushes off to the dining room. Kairi picks up a doll she didn't want Larxene to fry and hides it. Xion picks up a toy panda and makes Xigbar carry her to the dinner table.

Dining Room That Never Was

"….Superior?" Vexen asks, his voice cracking.

"What?"

"… You have a zit." Xaldin says, laughing at the tomato red pimple that had shown up on Xemnas's nose.

"AAAH!!! XEMNAS IS GONNA DIE!" Saix and Axel yell, thinking that the ordinary zit was a flesh eating virus. (Blame Xaldin and Vexen for that one).

"I AM NOT!" Xemnas yells at them.

"…. Xemmy gonna die." Xion whispers to Kairi. Kairi nods.

"Xemmy's gonna die." Kairi whispers to Luxord. The message travels down the line to reach Axel.

"…. Vexy has hair dye?" Axel questions, looking confused.

"I DO NOT!" Vexen retorts, his voice raising several octaves because of the whole puberty thing.

"Hahahaha! Again!" Demyx giggles, clapping.

"Superior, I've done some research-"

"Pass the carrots, Roxy!" Axel commands. Roxas reaches over from his high chair and flings a small carrot at Axel. Axel catches it and starts chewing on it.

"As I was saying-"

"I want one too!" Roxas throws a second carrot to Xion who doesn't catch and Larxene gets whapped in the face with it.

"I'M GONNA!" Larxene snarls, when Roxas pulls out a stuffed toy for protection. She freezes at the sight of the tiny doll.

"Pfft, Roxy plays with dollies!" Marluxia laughs, causing spontaneous flowers to sprout around his chair.

"But… I found it in Larxy's room." Roxas says, glancing at the tattered rag doll.

"GIMME BACK TINA!" Larxene leaps over the table and snatches the doll from Roxas's grip. She twirls around and takes her seat again. She gives a furious glare to anyone who might have wanted to comment on her favorite toy.

"As I WAS TRYING TO SAY…. We're getting older, Superior." Vexen says.

"…. I realize that, Vexen." Xemnas comments, shaking his head. For someone so smart, Vexen was usually an idiot.

"NO! I mean that the children have GROWN. Axel, how old are you?" Vexen questions.

"….8?" Axel shrugs.

"Roxas?"

"3!"

"Xion?"

"… Uhhh….2!"

"Larxene? What is your age?"

"None of your darn business, that's what!" Larxene snaps.

"I rest my case." Vexen says, smiling triumphantly.

"… I see. And everyone's getting-" Roxas starts crying.

"What? Are you okay, Roxas?" Namine asks immediately.

"Chair hurts!" She removes him from the high chair and gives him his old seat back. He sits up proudly in it, feeling like a big boy.

"May I conduct some experiments with the younglings?" Vexen requests.

"Go ahead. While you're at it, find a way to get rid of pimples." Xemnas scowls as Roxas and Xion stare at the small volcano on his face. Xion looks as if she might want to poke it and Roxas looks like he wants to pop it. Either way, Xemnas wasn't letting them near his face.

"Try Proactive." Xaldin advises jokingly.

"I'm not playing 20 bucks for that crap!"

"Then make Vexen make you some." Xigbar says, snatching Larxene's "Tina" doll when she wasn't looking.

"Tomorrow, I shall take the younglings and teach them necessary skills!" Vexen announces to no one in particular.

"We gonna die! Another day! We gonna die! Another day!" Xion sings, banging her spoon against her plate as the little kids stare at each other in horror.