Chapter 21- Urge To Squash Rising

I walked away from the set. The Core loomed in the distance, menacing as ever.

My phone rang.

"Um, I noticed you've been kind of quiet. Are you w-worried about meeting Asgore?"

A little.

"W-well, don't worry, okay? Th-the king is a really nice guy... I'm sure you can talk to him and w-with your human soul you can pass through the barrier. S-so no worrying, OK? J-just forget about it and smile."

I kept walking further. Another elevator appeared, this one marked L2. I hit the L3 button and was off.

I found some spider girl sitting at a bake sale table. I guess she's the one running every spider bake sale in the area.

I checked out her wares. Thankfully I didn't buy anything this time. 9999 gold is an unreasonable price.

I walked some more and came across some arrow puzzle.

My phone rang.

"Hi, Alphys here. This room is like the room we saw before. There are two puzzles to the north and south. You'll have to solve them both to proceed."

Okay. I know what to do.

"A-also, I'd like to say, I don't really like giving away puzzle solutions. But if you need help, just call me, okay? Actually, wait, I have an idea. Let's be friends on UnderNet."

I assume UnderNet is like the internet for those down in the Underground.

"Then you can just ping me when you need help! Wait, we're already friends, aren't we? I signed you up, didn't I? You've been reading my posts the whole time. Well, I hope you agree with me about Mew Mew 2."

I haven't seen it, so I can't form an opinion about it. She hung up.

Well, time to get the puzzles out of the way.

I made my way to the north. Another video-game puzzle. Got it.

The next puzzle should be easy. I went south.

Only to find a bunch of lasers. Guess I have to avoid these before I can reach my destination.

I got the crazy idea to walk in reverse. That helped a lot.

I almost got to the door to the puzzle when Alphys called again.

"Hey! This, um, doesn't have anything to do with guiding you, but uh, hey, would you want to watch a human TV show together?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Sometime? It's called, um, M... Mew Mew Kissy Cutie..."

Is she going to tell me what the show's about?

"Sure," I replied.

"R-really? It's so good! It's, um, my favorite show."

I could tell.

"It's all about this human girl named Mew Mew who has cat ears. Which humans don't have. So she's all sensitive about them. But like eventually she realizes that her ears don't matter. That her friends like her despite the ears! It's really moving! Whoops, spoilers!"

Am I just going to stand here and listen to her gush about her favorite show? I guess so. I have all the time in the world.

"Also, this sounds weird, but she has the power to control the minds of anyone she kisses. She kisses people and controls them to fix her problems. They don't remember anything after the kiss, I mean. But if she misses the kiss, then, then, uh, and, uh, also I mean, of course. Eventually, she realizes that controlling people... Okay, well, I almost spoiled the whole show, but uh, I think you'd really like it. We should watch it after you get through all this."

I guess I'll humor her request. She hung up. I entered the puzzle building. Yep, another video game puzzle. I know how to solve it. Done.

Now, what's to the right?

I stepped on the arrows again and made my way to a large door. It opened.

After a while of walking, I found myself on a purple path. Cobwebs littered the area. Spiders scurried here and there.

I shivered, not a big fan of bugs and other related critters.

I heard a girlish giggle. "Did you hear what they just said?" A high-pitched female voice with a significant French accent said.

I walked further. "They said a human wearing a striped shirt will come through."

She means me. Definitely me.

"I heard that they hate spiders."

Mildly dislike spiders? Yes. Hate? No.

"I heard that they love to stomp on them."

I never stomped on a spider in my life. Instead I ran screaming in the other direction. The cobwebs were starting to slow my progress.

"I heard that they like to tear their legs off."

I wouldn't do that! That's cruel.

"I heard..."

A spotlight illuminated a figure to my left. The spider girl from the bake sale stood in the middle of a massive cobweb.

"That they're awfully stingy with their money." She laughed again. "You think your taste is too refined for our pastries, don't you, deary?" Another laugh.

I'm not a big fan of spiders in my pastries, thank you very much.

"I disagree with that notion. I think your taste is exactly what this next batch needs."

The red heart is on my shirt again. I better stop her before I get made into cupcakes.

Okay, so her name is Muffet. Her outfit is cute though. (As cute as a five-foot tall , five-eyed, six armed spider person can get.)

I made the decision to throw gold at her.

"Don't look so blue, my deary?" She dumped the contents of the teapots she held in her hands. The heart on my shirt turned purple. "I think purple is a better look on you."

I chucked more money at her.

"Why so pale? You should be proud!"

Okay, so when my soul turns purple I have to scramble around in the web and avoid her minions.

More money thrown at her.

"Proud that you're going to make a delicious cake!"

I scurried around.

"Let you go? Don't be silly."

More money thrown her way.

"Your soul is going to make every spider very happy."

Apparently, human souls taste good down here. More scrambling. And attack donuts.

"Oh, how rude of me! I almost forgot to introduce you to my pet."

She has a pet?

"It's breakfast time, isn't it? Have fun, you two!"

The web shook. Something was coming. I had to dodge more spiders before meeting Muffet's "pet": a giant spider muffin thing. It crawled up the web slowly, mere inches away from my feet. It devoured other spiders on its way to me.

"The person who warned us about you."

Again. I didn't do anything to hurt spider-kind. I struggled in the web some more before cramming a Hot Cat down my throat.

"Offered us a lot of money for your soul."

These spiders are coming fast and numerous. Keep dodging. Where's a giant rolled-up newspaper when you need one?

"They had such a sweet smile and, ahuhu."

Donuts, croissants, and spiders? Yeah, just keep dodging.

"It's strange but I swore I saw them in the shadows... changing shape..."

I would ask Muffet who she was talking about, but I'm too busy trying to save my hide.

"Oh, it's lunch time, isn't it? And I forgot to feed my pet."

Oh, great. The web trembled as the muffin monster approached. I dodged the other spiders, trying not to fall into the beast's jaws.

"With that money, the spider clans can finally be reunited."

Can these spiders get any faster? I'm having a hard time dodging them all.

"You haven't heard? Spiders have been trapped in the Ruins for generations."

Admirable goal. But is selling my soul to some mystery person really the way to do it? After the wave of donut attacks, I ate a hot dog.

"Even if they go under the door, Snowdin's fatal cold is impassable alone."

Her people don't do well in the cold. You know, maybe she'll do well with all the money I chucked in her direction. She sent a wave of croissants in my direction.

"But with the money from your soul, we'll be able to rent them a heated limo."

That's nice. Maybe we could talk things out. And by talk things out, I mean stop making baked goods attack me.

I threw more money at her.

"And will all the leftovers? We could have a nice vacation or even build a spider baseball field."

Spider baseball. Now that'll be an amusing sight. She's now throwing her entire arsenal at me.

"But enough of that! It's time for dinner, isn't it?" She laughed.

That spider muffin wants to eat me. I better stay away from it. I was barely clinging to life when I escaped it.

"You're still alive? Ahuhuhu. Oh, my pet. Looks like it's time for dessert." A spider holding a telegram dashed in. "Huh? A telegram from the spiders in the Ruins?" Muffet took a hold of the telegram. "What? They're saying that they saw you and you were really passionate about spiders?"

I did buy some things from your bake sale and they're actually good. Odd crunchy texture though.

"Oh my, this has all been a big misunderstanding. I thought you were someone who hated spiders. The person who asked for that soul, they must have meant a different human in a striped shirt. Sorry for all the trouble." Another giggle. "I'll make it up to you. You can come back here any time and for no charge at all. I'll wrap you up and let you play with my pet again." She laughed. "Just kidding. I'll spare you now."

And so I did.

I was free from that web.

Muffet laughed. "That was fun. See you again, deary."

Now, I'm off with a new appreciation for spiders.