Chapter 21 - SOMETHING STUPID

Sorrow and solitude are strong emotions and Sharon was feeling both. Eyal's words were battering her and the tears streaming down her cheeks were in rhythm with her rehashing those words over and over.

Sharon heard a knock, she knew it wasn't Eyal, to soon and he would not knock. Really not feeling up to speak with anyone she hoped they would just go away if she didn't open. With the next ring she heard a voice. "Sharon, it Gabi. I know you're in there, open the door please."

Now anger was added to her cocktail of emotions. This was a time where she wanted to wallow in her pain, sniffle, get puffy eyes, be intimate with her pain and suffer a headache for crying hard. She deserved it and didn't want nobody telling her that it was going to be all right.

Gabi was now pounding on the door quite loudly, not wanting to alert security, she opened the door.

Funny he just looked at her and sat down. Not a word, not even 'Are you all right, what can I do to help?' He just looked at her. Sharon didn't know how to react, she just backed herself against the wall and slid down crying.

He let her cry a bit, came and sat by her, put his arms around her and let her cry it out even more. Sharon was starting to wipe her tears as Gabi asked

"Do you know why you're crying?"

"Really don't want to play mind games. I don't need to tell you why I'm crying, think you can take an educated guess!"

Gabi just sat back in front of her and smile "There could be a lot of reasons; you're scare of losing him, you feel guilty for shutting him out, you're scare of not loving him as much as he does or you and your father are just leading him on to turn him as an asset, just another mission and you not successful"

To that Sharon raised her hand to slap him, he caught it quickly and use that same hand/arm to immobilize her against him. To that she just bolted, hating being restrained in any way. As much as she tried, she could not get out of his grip. Exhausted she cried out "Leave me go" but to no avail, Gabi had a firm hold on her

"What are you scare of Sharon, losing your freedom, independence, settling down, commitment or surrendering yourself?"

"None of the above"

"None of the above or you just don't know"

"Fu… stop the questions and leave me go, I'm going to throw up"

Gabi was quick to cut her lose but stayed close and helped her, holding her hair back while cooling her head/neck with a wet towel. Totally exhausted Sharon just fell asleep in Gabi arm. He carried her to the bed, sat beside her and just waited.

She wasn't asleep long, Gabi was standing next to her with some ibuprofen and water.

Sharon couldn't help but smile, for the first time she really noticed him. He was Eyal's brother all right, same smile, caring nature and roughed handsomeness.

Taking the meds and water she asked "Thanks, you're a pain, you know! What now?"

"Now you answer my questions"

"Please don't start again, don't want to answer dumb questions that won't solve anything. Just want to put a blanket over my head, hide or die whichever comes first!"

"And that's going to solve this mess YOU put yourself in. Don't kid yourself if you think he's going to come back because he sees you're suffering. He won't, he'll just pull back from us even more. Do you really know what he wants from you?"

"A full commitment"

"MEANING?" Gabi barked at her in quite a harsh tone. She was startled and quite destabilised by his line of questioning.

Sharon answered with a trembling voice "I don't really know. I love him so much, I can't even explain it with words. I'm so scare of losing him. This time it was this thing with Robin but what am I going to do next that he doesn't like one of my actions. Maybe we have too many irreconcilable differences. I can't become something I'm not, I tried it already and it didn't end well."

"Well that wasn't so hard wasn't it? Got news for you, my guess he's feeling somewhat the same and asking himself the same questions. You two have what is call a soul mate relationship, the strongest kind. No, it does not mean that your relationship will last forever. Nor does it mean it's going to be a walk in the park. In fact, you can assume that both of you are going to come up against quite some challenges. Where there is potential for the greatest love there is also the potential for the greatest pain. And to make matters worsts, Sharon, you are young at heart plus a free spirit and Eyal is an old soul and quite a conventionalist. You two really hit the jackpot relationship wise, boys do you have your work cut out for you. Hope you're up to it because, this is not your first hurdle, believe me."

Sharon thought of a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love:

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."

Well if this quote spoke the true, Eyal was her perfect soul mate!

Gabi continued "Now to get to the matter at hand what is your definition of Commitment?"

Welllll… trying to develop strong and healthy relationship by loving, trusting and being faithful." Sharon venture knowing she was not quite on the mark.

"Gabi is not my definition I want, it's his. I not sure I really know what he wants/expect of me."

"Not him we're talking about, it's you. Do you think the way you acted early this morning was strengthening your relationship" Gabi looked at her sideway and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Didn't think about my relationship, just wanted to see my sister"

"Bingo… do you want me to repeat what you just said or better, let me translate "I wanted to go see my sister and for that I sneaked out without my boyfriend knowing about it, disobeyed a direct order from my father, put my sister's recovery in jeopardy and hurt the two men I love because selfish 'ME' wanted to win this little challenge I put myself up to. Did I get it about right?"

Sharon breathing just stopped. Gabi words put an image in her mind that she did not like. "Maybe I should add 'while considering the feeling of people close to me and the consequences of my actions' to my definition of Commitment"

"A+ Commitment is just a word and a large scope one at that. I know my brother and what he can't stomach is being left out and having to mop up a mess in the aftermarket. He works alone because he doesn't want to be responsible for the actions of others which he can't predict or control fully. Humans do have a tendency not to always 'do as there told'! Gabi eyeing Sharon with a 'You know what I'm talking about' look.

"Gabi, if Eyal wants to control me, expect my actions to be predictable and thinks he can be responsible for my behaviors, it's not going to happen!"

"Now I not saying this present situation with Eyal is like that. You'll feel more connected when you and Eyal clarify what you expect of each other. You can't fix this if you don't have the full picture and that takes two. You need to talk but it has to be a two sided discussion. Both of you need to evaluate what you're willing to give and take for this relationship to work"

"How are you going to explain all of this to him? "

"Me explain this to him…., nope my work here is finished"

"Coward, I get the professional help and you leave me, the nut case, to explain it to Eyal. That should go well!" Sharon hug Gabi thanking him for the help.

"Oh, girl you and Annie Walker manage more that I was able to accomplish in the last 15 years so I trust you can get to him quite easily. I have to admit, it a selfish action on my part. I helped you so you can help him. Can you imagine living with a heartbroken Eyal Lavin? Seriously, if you need any help you have my coordinates. What goes down between you and Eyal has to come from you but if you need help, I'm there." Gabi returning her hug.

"Gabi, can you give me some news on Robin, I'd really like to know if she's OK. Nothing confidential, just a word. We have a love and hate relationship but we've always been there for one another and I can't stand not being able to talk to her. Even if it's only to argue"

"Now why didn't you think of asking me that this morning instead of organising this escapade of yours? I can tell you your sister is OK. For the first time she's talking about her problems so that means we can help her. I really want to isolate Robin from her normal environment. You spies are quite hard to care for. You don't react to normal therapy. Your way of life teaches you to lie your way through therapy so it's useless. I have to find an in something that shakes you, gets you out of your comfort zone, only then can I begin to help"

"Robin always needs family by her side when she's hurting. So that's you in, isolating her. You're quite good, you found mine fast enough. What made you realise I can't stand being restrained in any way."

"Watching you play with Eyal. He like to be in control so when you two have a friendly quarrel it often happens that he would restrain you. Your face and evasion tactics, I'm sorry to say sold you out."

"Gabi can I ask a last question, "Am I the one that's responsible for my sister's problems. I stole her father away from her. She had him all to herself and when I came along, well….."

"Sharon, you know I can't tell you much on that subject but no person can be responsible for another's problems. This doesn't mean you and Robin don't have matters to settle but in time. Do me a favor and block those questions, hell do I little of spy work on yourself. You and Robin will sort this all out soon, I promise"

Sharon eyes lighted up "Think I just got an idea to make up for my selfish actions. Can I run it by you for advice?"

"OK didn't think you're blocking techniques were that good! Run this brainstorm by me, I'll be glad to give you my opinion!"

"I love to sing, that's how I always express my deepest emotions. How about I sing a couple of choice songs for Eyal and Robert. I know my father will listen but do you think Eyal would go for an impromptus mini-concert?"

Gabi shaking his head "You are a truly a free spirit. Eyal is the artistic type so he should like it. But you two STILL need to talk."

"Don't rub it in, I got it, I have to talk to Eyal and my father.

Gabi eyeing Sharon at her last statement "Thinking of it, Sharon, I may have a place for you to perform. Why don't I call Cousin Evans? It's still morning and his bar doesn't open till supper time, you can have your private show there. When did Eyal say he was coming back?"

Sharon bit her lips "He said he needed to cool down, meaning that depends on how pissed he is."

"Well, I'll call Evans right away and if he agrees I'll get you down there. You then text Eyal and your father to meet you there let's say at 10:30. That should leave you enough time?

All was in place, Uncle Evans had agreed and Eyal and Robert were OK with meeting up with her. Sharon texted another message to Eyal. She was determine to pull all the strings she could to make him see that she was serious about their relationship. Sharon message read:

What could make you truly love me?

Hope I'll be able to make you sense my love for you.

If I can get you to feel safe around me maybe you'll start to long for my company, for my touch, for my affection.

You may doubt how I feel about you.

All I know is that there's something special about you that I don't feel with any other man in my life.

I'm truly in love

What can I do to make you also truly love me?

What can I do to take you in my arms, keep you forever and connect on the deepest and most intimate level with your feelings..?

Please tell me what you need for our relationship to be a loving, secure and a committed one.

I'm willing to open my world, my mind and my heart to you, just hope it will be enough.

I love you!

Arriving at the Club, Eyal and Robert were greeted by Sharon. She handed them a copy of her chosen songs and asked them to sit at the closest table.

Sitting down Indian style, she started speaking in a soft voice "First thing I'd like to say to both of you is that I'm sorry. I know 'sorry' is just a word but today something click. Don't know if it's Eyal ultimatum, dad's hurt eyes or Gabi tough words but I replayed my actions and didn't like the picture being sent back to me. I love both of you so much and you didn't deserve the worry I put you through with my actions. I acted like a selfish and spoiled child. I can't say with certainty that I'll never pull something like this again but I promise that today I'm making a pack with you that I will share/talk more with people around me"

To that Sharon started singing. Robert and Eyal both shifted in their chair. She had a voice that could ice a person cold and her first song from Adele 'The one and only' was perfect to set the mood right. Her next songs was one of Robert's favorite 'My father's eyes' by Eric Clapton and it hit the spot in his case. She then sang in a lot more rhythm 'Hurry up and Save me by Tiffany Giardian to lighten the mood and finished with 'Hard to say I'm Sorry' from Chicago.

"I know these songs won't make up for my actions but they're my peace offering and my promise that I will try to "think before I act" To that she walked up to Robert as the music of 'Something Stupid', the Robbie William and Nicole Kidman's version was starting and asked him to dance. In the middle of the song, she told he father a soft "I love you" kissed him and then asked Eyal to dance. With her father she had dance a waltz but with Eyal she took him through a slow salsa cha-cha style.

Robert watched them dance, he could never hold a grudge against her. She had a way with him that made him forgive and forget often a bit too easily. But he had a strong feeling that this time something "Maybe a little thing called loved" had gotten to her.

He went up to them patted her shoulder "Sharon, I going to leave you two, think you need to talk. I've got to get back to Ima before she think the MIA (missing in action) thing runs in the family. I love you darling. By the way, you two look real nice dancing together.

Her nervousness at being alone and face to face with Eyal was palpable, he was the first to speak "This is a lovely surprise, your written words, songs and this dance, I know now why your father keeps forgiving you. You really know how to shake a man

"Eyal there is quite a bit I want/need to tell you. Here's the essential: Yes, you have a place in my heart and my life. I don't know if my way of letting you in will work for you but I'm willing to try. I can't promise I can become the picture a perfect housewife, it's just not me, but what I can say is that YES I'm letting you fully in my life'

"Look, I don't want you to become a person you're not. I want and love you as you are but I also need you to let me in that mind of yours. I won't accept half a commitment only went it's suite you."

"I promise, you are going to have 100% of me. I have things to tell you about myself that will, I hope, prove it to you."

He took her hand and pulled her towards him, she straddle on him and it didn't take them long to want to be intimate.

"Why don't we check out the restroom, they say it's quite interesting" Eyal husky voice manage to turn out between them kissing.

"I'm not finished still got a couple of things to tell you' Sharon teasing him by nibbling at his ears.

"Restroom now, talk later" To that he carried her to the 'interesting' restroom!

Sexual tension being resolve, coming out of the restroom they came face to face with Eyal's uncle Evans.

"Eyal, you seem to have a problem remembering that the boy's restrooms are at your right. These are for ladies only."

Eyal and Sharon felt like teenagers.

"Oh Eyal visited the ladies restrooms before?" Sharon looking at Eyal and then at Evans.

"Not going to answer that question, you're his lady friend ask him."

"Don't worry, I intend to. Thanks so much for the 'loan' of your Club and equipment. It really made things a lot easier for me"

"Happy to help, you seemed to be so sad this morning, but now I'm guessing you two kissed and made up"

"You could say that Evans." Eyal answered

"Well maybe you, my dear girl, could help me. I have a group of Canadian tourists debarking from a cruise later this week. They might like to hear a little voice from home, think you could sing a couple of songs."

"I'd love to but my work here might get in the way" Sharon hoping Eyal would catch on that she didn't quite know how to answer Evans demand, not wanting to blow her or the teams cover.

Eyal had caught on, "Evans can't promise you nothing for sure but we will try to make it. I love to hear her sing so if we can finish our little business here, I'm sure Sharon will be happy to sing especially for Canadians."

"If it's the business we talked about earlier, please both of you be careful. Not nice people you're dealing with, I know this for a fact. I must deal with them daily and it's not always easy. I know I have you, Eyal, to thank for this place being what it is, meaning respectable and earning me and my family a decent living, but that other place is a whole different matter. Please again be careful."

"Evans, I'll always protect my family you don't have to thank me for that. Sharon, we have to get going, we only have a couple of hours before meeting Hanna and I'd like to fix that hair of yours before our get-together"

"Eyal, it's OK, not pretty and I'm not proud of myself but the color is starting to grow on me"

"Well bleach doesn't do it for me, much prefer your original color, come on you have a date with a hairstylist friend of mine." Eyal and Sharon saying goodbye to Evans.

Eyal friend was not only a hairstylist, she was one of Mossad best make-up artist. Sharon hair was tinted very close to her original color and property cut.

"There Eyal, she's all set up"

"You're a miracle maker Dany, thanks"

"You're welcome but I'm sorry you're now unavailable, love our long chats over a nice café latté… miss you" she patted Eyal shoulder and gave him a light kiss on his cheek!"

Before getting in the car, Sharon pulled Eyal towards her and kissed him in a provoking way.

"Mrs. Welby, you should behave yourself, people might be watching"

"Don't care, it's my way of thanking you. I didn't deserve this beauty treatment"

"I'm just happy you, my dear, are not the jealous type"

"Why should I be, every girls I've met that you have been, let say, intimate with said that they were disappointed you were now taken, seems to me I'm the lucky one"

It was now Eyal returning Sharon kisses!

"Eyal, I wasn't kidding when I said we need to talk. I have a couple of things I'd really like to discuss with you."

"Look we just have time to get to Hanna's without the risk of being late. Now what I need is to bring you up on our ongoing mission. You know the one we were brought together for. Tonight, Andy, Auggie and I are going to put a Club out of its misery. The club is close till the police finish their investigation of the shooting that went on there yesterday. Thanks to Vincent and Annie's snooping we know that AALY has a post command with lots of high-tech equipment there. It's well hidden in a sort of bunker that is not known by police or even the present owners. We just have to go in while nobody will be looking and destroy it. Again, they can't track this hit with someone being on their tail and it, at least, destabilize part of their operations for a while. With Mossad's help we neutralized the 5 members you identified as being both in Tel Aviv and in Washington. You were right on all 5 counts and their disappearance was listed as being related to the shootout. We still have a good cover here and with that we can move on to another part of the world and search and destroy another part of them."

"Eyal, this is going to be quite a full day for you, you sure you don't want to postpone Hanna visit. I could even surprise her by myself and explain that you could not make it because of work related emergency"

"If I want a chance at having normal visiting rights with my son, I have to be there as planned. Thanks for worrying about me. I'll be fine and I promise we can talk in between the sheets tonight." Eyal shot her his flirtiest smile.

To be continued!

Don't worry, in a couple of hours I'll have another chapter posted. I had a bit too many words for it to be a one chapter read, so separated my story in two. I don't like cliffhangers or waiting so since I wrote it I'm publishing it. Just have to reread it. Please review I love to read your opinion.