Just thought I'd put a new skit up, since I'll be celebrating my eighteenth birthday this week and I probably won't be working on stuff.
...
Episode 4: Narrate
"Okay, let's move on to a game called Narrate, this is for Tails and Sonic. They're going to act out a scene in the style of a film noir, where they come up and narrate their actions and thoughts, and we picked out some music for them to act it out to. Now, what I need from the audience is an unlikely place for a film noir scene."
Tails and Sonic came up to the stage. Among the many shouts from the audience, someone yelled out "Fast food!"
"Hey, that's not a bad idea. Okay, we'll use that. So Tails and Sonic are going to do a film noir in a fast food restaraunt. Okay, Mina Mongoose, take it away when you're ready."
A very calm, soothing piano tune began to play from a pre-recorded track. Tails slowly stepped forward.
"For fifteen years, I have been looking for the Sonic burger... the one that Sonic's got and others don't."
The audience let out quite a laugh at the advertisement reference. "I have searched high and low across the entire galaxy and beyond. And now, my journey has taken me to this tiny joint in the middle of nowhere.
Tails continued, "And there, I found an old acquaintance of mine, Spines MacGee. As long as I played it cool, it wouldn't be too difficult."
He stepped backwards and turned towards Sonic, who was pretending to cook stuff.
"Hey there, I'll have the Sonic burger." The audience howled in approval, as did Eggman. Then, the blue hedgehog slowly turned towards the audience and walked forward.
"Oh, I knew who he was," Sonic began, "My ex-boyfriend, Furry Two-Balls."
The whole audience promptly cracked up as he continued, "We had just been in a messy separation, after I caught him cheating on me with Chris. I knew what he wanted, and I wasn't gonna give it to him."
Sonic stepped backwards and turned towards Tails, while Chris facepalmed in the background. "So, Furry..." Sonic began, with laughter as his only reply.
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I recognize that name." Tails replied.
He promptly turned and stepped forward. "At first, I had no idea who he was... until he used that idiotic pet-name that he would always use during our more raunchy nights. Right before he would get out the peanut oil, Sonic X DVDs, and lotion."
The entire audience went wild, with both Tails and Sonic keeping absolutely straight faces thoughout the whole thing. Tails stepped backwards once again.
"Enough with the games, Furry!" Sonic suddenly became livid, nearly sobbing, "You know goddamn right who I am! Why didn't you ever return my calls, you bastard?"
Suddenly calming down, he turned forward towards the audience.
"... I overreacted, but that was just to keep him off-guard," Sonic spoke, and kept a completely stoic face through the laughing that followed, "I had to distract him long enough to get the Sonic burger up my asshole. Surely, he would never look for it there. Furry was always the hetero one."
Sonic stepped back again, to enormous amounts of lolz and applause.
"Cut the croc tears. You're the one who wanted me to gag myself with leather straps!" Tails began.
"Look, I was on meth and coke when that happened."
Sonic stepped forward towards the audince again, and shrugged. "Well, I was." And then, he immediately stepped back again to a great audience reaction.
"I'm not here to argue with you, Spines. Where is the Sonic burger?" Tails demanded.
Sonic shook his head. "I don't have it anymore."
"Well, then hat is that in your..." Tails slowly put his hand on Sonic's crotch, and pretended to pull something out, "AHA! The Sonic burger!"
Sonic shrugged, "Well... I guess it's all yours. You got me."
Tails gave him an odd expression, before once again turning to the audience.
"... It all seemed far too easy, like he was hiding something. But little did I know the horror and terror that he was about to unleash upon me." Tails stepped back, prepared to see what the hedgehog would do.
Almost instantly, Sonic pretended to pull down an invisible pair of pants, glomp Tails, and give him a big sloppy kiss on the lips. Just as quickly, he let go and got back to his cooking.
Tails was frozen in place like a statue, his hair all messed up. Needless to say, everyone in the studio went ballistic.
Eggman rang the buzzer, and the two slowly went back to their seats, with a massive round of applause to boot. Chris jokingly scooted his chair away from Sonic as the hedgehog sat down. Knuckles was convulsing with laughter in his seat.
"Breathmint?" Tails suddenly asked, taking out a pack of gum held in his tail fur. Sonic nodded and took some.
"And they all said I was the gay one..." Chris commented, once again causing the audience to split their sides.
"We REALLY need to get all those girls back on the show, pronto." Sonic commented.
Eggman grinned, "Ohhh, that was awesome. Ten-thousand points to both Sonic and Tails for the American legalization of gay marriage. More divorces for the lawyers!" Tails and Chris promptly burst out laughing.