Chapter 20 – Future Tense

It was well past mid-day as Sian and Aldric finished their discussion. Certain Cassandra needed more time to read the Lord Seeker's book, Sian thought about making a foray into town to look for a keepsake for her. However, as she thought on it more, she realized she hadn't a clue as to what she'd look for, so instead she went in search of a more convenient place to meditate on her father's revelations. For a time she wandered the house, revisiting the memories within it, but eventually her feet led her to a favorite haunt from her past.

Adjoining the kitchen, overlooking the back garden, the stone porch presided over the back yard of the manor. Drizzle chimed on the copper roof as she stoked the fire in a central brazier then seated herself at a table constructed of twigs and branches. In the past, whenever she needed to think, she'd occupied this very spot and stared at the patches of herbs and flowers watching the bees work. It was comforting and quiet, filled with remembrances of good times in her family home.

"I thought I might find you out here." Lady Trevelyan appeared with a tea tray. "May I join you, darling?"

"I'd like that," Sian smiled gratefully as she stood and took the loaded tray, then carefully settled it on the table while Marissa gathered her skirts and seated herself.

"Aldric told me of your talk." Marissa busied herself pouring tea, deftly preparing each cup with honey as she spoke. It had always been her way to provide little touches of comfort whether the crisis was a skinned knee or a call to fight the blight. "Instead of asking the obvious question, I'll just say you seem to be taking it better than I thought you might."

Pushing her forelock back, her lips firm, Sian answered, "I'm not angry but it's, well, shocking. It's going to take some time to get used to it – and, it's left me with as many questions as I came to answer. But, I am glad to have the truth of it. I just wish he'd told me sooner."

"He struggled with it for years, Sian. How…when… to finally say something." The lady's tone was gentle as she spoke.

"Well, I'm glad he was honest with me. I guess I just wonder how Devin and Belwyn will feel about it. And – honestly. I don't know how you've managed." The Herald searched her step-mother's face, marveling at the fact that Lady Trevelyan had taken on a grieving Bann and his children, touched by the depth of her character and empathy.

Marissa bore a winsome smile as she answered, "Managed. I've never felt as if I had to manage anything. We all love each other – nothing will ever change that. None of you knew your birth mothers. You only knew each other. Under it all, you are all still Trevelyans. When they find out, I seriously doubt it will change a thing. As for me, I raised you and got as good as I ever gave. Actually, I've felt rather sorry that your mother didn't share that privilege. You were always a sweet, bright child, and you've become a leader, a warrior, a decent, kind person." She sighed and set her tea on the table. "It speaks volumes that you would turn what many would deem a curse into a blessing and accept the responsibility for leading the Inquisition. We are all very proud of you, my darling."

"I could never have done so without your influence, without the lessons I've learned. If I'm a leader – it's because you and Father raised me the right way.""

"Ha. Don't let your Aunt Lucille hear you say that. She always thought I should have spent more time teaching you to be a Lady than allowing you to ride, play war with the boys and learn to fight." Marissa's eyes sparkled as she laughed, "She nearly had apoplexy when she heard you'd been to the Winter Palace."

Sian snorted, "I nearly had apoplexy when she started trying to call in favors from the Inquisition. Good thing she's no match for Lady Montilyet, our ambassador. And – you may have let me go my own way – but you taught me the things that matter." She couldn't help but chuckle with a smug grin, "Besides - I did very well at Halamshiral, Mother. Ask Cassandra."

"I have no doubt of that." Lady Trevelyan's attractive face and dainty nose creased with delight as she teased, "You may have kept the Empress seated on her throne, but I think your crowning achievement has been winning Cassandra's affections. Your Seeker is lovely and charming, but quite reserved and clearly focused on her duties."

"She was that way with me in the beginning. As we got to know each other better, she opened up. Eventually, to my eternal delight, she fell in love with me." Sian felt her ears burn as she spoke. "She's seems aloof and she can stand toe to toe with a demon without breaking a sweat, but inside she's warm – very tenderhearted. I've never known anyone like her. I've been thinking about trying to find something to give her as a memento of Ostwick but I haven't been able to think of what that might be. Little things mean more to her than big things. It needs to be something special… you know, romantic."

"Hmm. " Peering over the brim of her cup, Marissa appeared thoughtful, then suddenly smiled with delight. "I have an idea. Cassandra came down for a bit earlier and we had a moment or two to visit. Give me a moment, I have just the thing… and another item I think you might cherish."

Sian sipped her beverage as Lady Trevelyan retreated to the house then quickly reappeared with a gleaming silk bag and an armful of colorful folded cloth. Settling in, Marissa unpacked two large, stoppered bottles and a tiny cotton bag with drawstrings.

"Cassandra admired the heather bouquet on the table. I think some scented soap and oil would be perfect as a gift for her. Oh – and some seeds. She spoke of the Chantry garden at Skyhold. I thought it might be nice for you to have a bit of home to take with you."

"Thank you, Mother. These are perfect. Just the thing." Sian beamed as she repacked the treasures. Her eyes were puzzled as she considered the shimmering folded cloth. "But - what is this?"

"This," Marissa unfolded the fabric and carefully placed it open over the back of a chair, "is the blanket you were swaddled in when your Uncle Valen brought you to your father."

The piece took Sian's breath. "It's… more a work of art than a baby blanket!" Her hand shook a she caressed the samite squares pieced together to form the ornate, distinctively elvhen quilt. One row of the soft patches were midnight blue painstakingly embroidered with asymmetrical, tangled, golden trails of tiny stars. Alternating between them were rows of golden swatches stitched with sapphire thread that formed little squares in odd lines. In the very center was a single emerald swatch with a bronze hand worked into it. The entire blanket was surrounded by a silky amethyst border. "It's astonishing. I can't believe you kept it all these years."

Gently, Marissa put her arm around her beloved child. "Of course we kept it. I've often wondered if your mother might have done the work. We always planned to give it to you one day. The time just seems right and it might be nice for you to have something to take back to your new home."

"Thank you. This means a great deal to me, Mother." Affectionately, Sian pecked Marissa on the cheek. "You think of everything, don't you?"

Lady Trevelyan smiled, her countenance bright from the praise, her eyes filled with love. "I do try."

XXXXX

As dusk fell over Ostwick and dinner time approached, Cassandra finished the Seeker's book. If she'd been anywhere but the Trevelyan home, she would have considered lobbing it through the nearest window. Instead, she collapsed into a padded chair at the work table and contented herself with slamming the thing onto the surface in front of her.

Sian padded through the door quietly and leaned on the frame apparently considering her in silence.

"This tome has passed from Lord Seeker to Lord Seeker since the time of the old Inquisition." Cassandra took a deep breath, her emotions leaning more toward heartbreak than anger, then sighed, "And now it falls to me."

Concern etched on her face, the Herald took a seat across from her. "Weighty reading indeed. You look exhausted."

With a weak smile, Cassandra retorted, "On the contrary, it's a delight. I'm riveted."

Snorting lightly, Sian took her hand and caressed her knuckles, her tone light, her face solemn, "So, what did this riveting book reveal?"

"More than I ever thought or truly wished to know." Cassandra bit her lip, trying to find the words to describe the outrageous truth. Finally, her voice pitched low, she began, "Do you know what the rite of tranquility is? The last resort used on mages in the circle, leaving them unable to cast and depriving them of dreams and all emotion. It should only be used on those who cannot control their abilities… but that has not always been the case."

"Belwyn was very worried about it happening if she failed her harrowing. She told me in confidence that she rather die than be made Tranquil. Personally, I've never understood why more effort wasn't put in to helping those who couldn't control their abilities." Sian shivered. "What about it?"

Chagrined at the thought and fearful of Sian's response, Cassandra quietly admitted, "I always thought it a necessary evil. What finally began the mage rebellion was a discovery that the rite of tranquility could be reversed. Lord Seeker Lambert covered it up – harshly. There were deaths. It was dangerous knowledge. The shock of its discovery in addition to what happened at Kirkwall, then the riot at the White Spire… But – it appears we have always known how to reverse the rite. From the beginning."

She started to rise, suddenly chilled, but Sian gently tugged at her hand, her voice insistent. "Cassandra, you aren't responsible for that. You didn't know. And I may be guessing here, but I suspect your fellow Seekers didn't know either."

"No. They did not. But that does not excuse the Order entirely." The Seeker resumed her seat and hung her head, her voice laced with anxiety as she finished her confession. "I left the Lord Seeker to fight his war but many of my comrades followed his orders despite the other abuses. One more crime to add to the pile." She looked up, her eyes imploring even as the bitter truth dropped from her tongue. "Yes. We created the rite of tranquility. I told you of my Vigil – the months I spent emptying myself of all emotion? I was made tranquil and didn't even know. Then the Vigil summoned a spirit of faith to touch my mind. That broke tranquility - and gave me my abilities." Hearing the betrayal out loud renewed her shock. The experience she'd once considered the most inspirational, sacred moment in her life was sullied with the knowledge she'd found.

Cassandra's voice was husky, broken with emotion as she continued, "The Seekers did not share that secret. Not with me. Not with the Chantry. Not even with…" She worked her lip still struggling with deep disappointment. "There's more. Lucius was not wrong about the order. I thought to rebuild the Seekers once victory was ours. Now I'm not certain it deserves to be rebuilt."

No longer able to sit, Cassandra stood and paced to the window as lightning flashed in the darkness outside. Discouraged, her words felt like acid. "At some point, power becomes its own master. We cast aside ideals in favor of expedience and tell ourselves it was all necessary. For the people. We harbored secrets and let them fester. We acted to survive, but not to serve." She crossed her arms warding against the uncertainty of her own decisions. "Will that happen to us? Will we repeat history?"

"Not if we keep faith with the Maker - not if our duty is from the heart. You didn't start the Inquisition for power. I haven't stayed because I want power. We have work to do. We have a chance to set things right. To be sure the people of Thedas are safe. As long as we remember that we are in business to serve others and we keep ourselves accountable for our actions – we will not repeat history." Sian stepped behind her and wrapped her in her arms, her chin resting on her shoulder. "If you did rebuild the Seekers, how would you do it?"

Cassandra tingled with the proximity and felt herself relax into Sian's embrace. "I can't be the only one remaining. We were always spread to the winds, and some may still be out there. I would find them, one by one. We would all read this book – no more secrets. Then together we would establish a new charter. The Maker's work in truth."

"You know I will support you if you try. If anyone can do this – it would be you." Sian whispered next to her ear, "I believe in you, Cassandra. I'm just sorry it all came to this. I think we should take this up as research if you decide to try. I remember you telling me that you wondered if the Vigil could prevent mages from becoming abominations."

"You are right. It may be a chance for new beginning and it might be possible." As she thought on the Herald's advice, she felt hope renew though she knew it would take time to let go of the pain of betrayal and her own feeling of culpability. Warmed by Sian's presence and understanding, she realized she hadn't asked about her discussion with the Bann. Pivoting, she laced her arms around the Herald's shoulders. "What of you? Did you learn anything from your father?"

Leaning her forehead into the Seeker's, Sian sighed. "I did. Would it bother you if you were sleeping with an elf? Well - a half-elf?"

"Not at all." Cassandra had no real issues with elves, except in the way of religion, and even then she generally treated it as their business. "How is this so?"

Cassandra listened patiently as Sian explained, gently questioning and drawing the facts from the situation. As the Herald finished, the Seeker idly caressed her cheek and ran her finger over the scar through her brow, "It seems many questions remain that require answers, but evidently you are taking this well."

The Herald's brow furrowed. "For the most part, I am. Father did the best he could and, really, I have little to complain of when I consider the misfortunes of others. The thing that most concerns me at this point is what it means – what connection it has to my use of power. It would appear that Dorian and Solas are right about me. So far my abilities have stood us in good stead, but what if I can't control them? Doesn't that worry you?"

"I believe you were sent by the Maker." Cassandra reaffirmed hoping to soothe lines of anxiety in Sian's face. Gently, but firmly, she insisted, "I was trained to read power. I assure you that if I'd ever had reason for concern I would have been forthright. I would point out that you have never misdirected your efforts but you have difficulty summoning your magic at the correct moment."

"You're right." Brows raised, Sian seemed to appreciate the epiphany. "It isn't control – it's will and access. It might help if I knew how I even got the gift." Straightening, she leaned on the window ledge, one hand still delicately perched on the Seeker's hip. "I need to find my Uncle Valen. He seems to be the key to understanding this. If I could just talk with him, he could tell me more of my mother. Perhaps Solas or Leliana will have some idea of how to search."

"It is only a thought – but you might ask Fiona as well. It is possible that she may know something about this." The Seeker remembered hearing that the Grand Enchanter had seen many things in her life as a Grey Warden and a Circle Mage as well as the fact that she shared heritage with Sian.

"And that is why I adore you, Cassandra," Sian kissed her, leaving a trace of honey on her lips. "You have a beautiful mind."

Despite the uncomfortable truths they had both uncovered, the Seeker relished the sweetness and felt her body deliciously quiver in response. Her bronze eyes gleamed as she raised her eyebrows and casually teased, "Is that the only thing that you adore – my mind?"

"Of course not." Sian's eyes were tender but her tone was impish as she retorted quickly, "I'll make you a deal. After dinner, we'll come back up here and put that tub you had your eye on earlier to good use and I'll make it a point to chant a litany of adoration especially for you." Mischievously, she breathed in the Seeker's ear, "With mine your body shall I worship."

Cassandra was still amazed at the sparks a single, simple kiss and a hint of rather blasphemous, flirty suggestion could ignite between them. An eyebrow raised, the Seeker sighed dramatically. "That sounds rather heretical, my love."

"I'm half-elvhen and unorthodox to boot," Sian playfully scoffed, "there are many in the Chantry who would consider me a raving heretic, ma vhenan."

"I am not one of them." The Seeker lovingly retorted as she stole another kiss.

XXXXX

Morning light found The Sandpiper awaiting Sian and Cassandra in her berth, the tall main mast rhythmically bobbing in a more moderate sea than when they'd arrived. Aldric walked with Sian, his eyes blood-shot and his gait slow as they made their way to the vessel.

"You look like you haven't slept, Father," The Herald noted. Normally, he matched her stride for stride, his mind restless and his body vigorous. Even in leave-taking he'd always kept his sense of humor.

"Sleep came. But… I dreamed. It felt real, like I'd gone somewhere." The Bann yawned as he spoke, the smile lines customarily in the corner of his lids absent.

"Some dream. You look like you've spent the night herding cats. Where did you go? Do you know?"

"I do. As your Uncle Valen foretold, he visited me in my dreams." Aldric halted and lay his great hands on Sian's shoulders. "It was the strangest thing. He was wrapped in a mist, but I could see him. He gave me a message – for you."

"For me? What did he say?" Sian hoped it would make sense. It seemed everything to do with the elvhen was couched in mystery. It would be too easy if any revelation to do with her gifts or her heritage were anything less than an enigma.

"I know what you're thinking, dragonling. Unfortunately, your mother's people like their riddles," The Bann managed a wry grin. "But, it's all I have to offer if you wish to find your Uncle." Rubbing the bridge of his nose, his head cocked in thought, he fished in his coat pocket and drew out a small scrip of paper and read it. "Let me see… I want to repeat this just the way he told me to write it. Ah – yes. He said to tell you: To master yourself, make the starlit journey to the Place of Pride. From the abundance of your heart – surrender to the Light. Make pilgrimage to the Greens and walk the holy paths to knowledge."

"Ach," Sian slapped her forehead and spat, "nothing is ever easy with mother's side of the house, is it? I don't suppose any of this makes sense to you, does it?" Dolefully, she ventured, "May I have that paper?"

"Of course." Aldric placed it in her outstretched palm. "No, Sian, it makes no sense to me. I've thought of nothing else since the dream and I have no ideas – nothing to offer you that might help set you on your path. But – all of this seems to be unfolding on its own. There may be forces in motion of which we have no ken. Thus, I would counsel patience. More may be revealed in time."

"That explains why you didn't sleep – you were too busy thinking." With a sigh, Sian resigned herself to the wisdom of his logic. "I suppose you're right. It's just maddening – and hard to be patient while I know Corypheus is out there." She took a last lingering look around the city as they picked up their pace toward the dock. "I know it's been a short visit. But, I'm glad to have been able to see you and Mother. Glad you were able to meet Cassandra."

As they neared the ship, she felt her heart clench. She didn't know what the future held, but Solas had warned her that her life might be the price for closing the Breach and ending Corypheus. She gazed at her sire, memorizing every line, every craggy feature, silently praying that it wouldn't be for the last time.

Ahead of them, Marissa stood with Cassandra next to the gangplank, her arm casually linked with the Seeker's. Sian felt a lump in her throat and warmth in her chest as she watched them converse, surprised to see that the Seeker was wearing a gentle smile as they embraced and bid each other farewell.

Her eyes returned to the Bann and she sought his arms. "Take care of each other, Father. I love you."

Wrapping her tight, Aldric murmured into her neck, "I love you too, Sian. Be well, trust the Maker – but above all take joy when and where you can. Oh – and stay in touch. We like to stay abreast of your adventures."

As he released her, she felt a shift. The threads that bound her to her family home had released. She would always love her family. She would no doubt visit, but as the Bann stepped back she felt destiny assert itself and realized her life was meant to be lived in the greater world. Her eyes fogged as she and the Seeker boarded the ship. They stood at the rail hand in hand, watching until the figures of her parents faded from view in the distance.

Cassandra's eyes were tender as she asked, "Are you sorry to leave Ostwick?"

"Not exactly. I mean – there will be times when I miss it." Melancholy reverberated in her voice. "But, my time there is over. I'm no longer a Guard Captain in Ostwick, my purpose is the Inquisition. My duty is to end the Elder One and do what I can to bring order to Thedas. And, my life, Cassandra Pentaghast… my life – I want to spend with you."

The Seeker grasped her arming coat and pulled her close, stroking her hair as tears of freedom rolled down her cheeks and the sloop doggedly lurched into the countercurrents that would carry them into the future.

XXXXX

[A/N – I've had to work paragraph by paragraph to get this short chapter written. Preparations for finals has unfortunately required my attention. So – the story goes on, albeit at a slower pace. Thank you to all who are still reading along. As my workload decreases, I will post a bit more. To all who have favorited and followed – thank you. To those who review, I offer special gratitude for your time and feedback. I love hearing from you.]