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Ronnie stood still; anxious and on edge she began to rub her toes into the carpet. She held a full glass of water in her hand, nervously waiting for his arrival. She had poured the water for Danielle but after letting the tap drip away she couldn't find the courage to even face her daughter. Looking into her daughter's lost and saddened brown eyes would only make Ronnie feel worse, make the guilt even more overwhelming. So she waited, she waited for help.
She heard him walking up the steps to the flat and gently knocking against the door, the deadly silence in the flat made every noise from outside clear and audible. Taking a deep breath Ronnie began her descent down the stairs. Whilst part of her wanted to rush to the door, beg the doctor to fix Danielle immediately so things could go back to the way they were another part wished she would never reach the bottom step; the prospect of a medical examination revealing a heartbreaking illness or problem with her little girl was too hard to even think about.
"Thanks for coming" Ronnie politely greeted the doctor as he entered the flat. Instead of calming her, his presence only made Ronnie feel more tense. "No problem Miss Mitchell, you sounded quite upset on the phone. How can I help?" Al asked kindly, setting his medical bag down on the floor as they reached the lounge.
Since his arrival two years ago Al had now got used to Walford life again and life as a doctor in Albert Square. Not a day went past when he didn't get pulled to one side by a local looking for medical advice or a plea for a home visit. Al had learnt that not getting personally involved was the best policy, dramas and problems seemed always to suck people in in Walford and Al had done his best to resist.
"It's Danielle, my daughter" Ronnie stated firmly, the two combined phrases slipping of her tongue instinctively. "She just fainted and has been unwell for a few weeks" Ronnie replied, the tone of concern and slight confusion clear in her voice as it became obvious the distress and worry over Danielle's condition was effecting Ronnie.
Al took in every word Ronnie was saying; the stutter of her voice as she became upset and the dropping of her shoulders as she spoke of Danielle's deterioration over the last few weeks. Despite the sadness and pain that she spoke about Al could see the love in Ronnie's eyes, a protective and endless love of a mother for her child. Ronnie noticed his penetrating and focused stare and despite the broad smile on his face she felt uneasy. It felt like he was studying her, examining her as she spoke about Danielle.
"Has she been eating and sleeping properly?" Al asked. Ronnie immediately snapped out of her gaze and muddle of thoughts, she needed to answer the doctor as best as possible for Danielle's sake. "Not really. She eats occasionally but never eats a lot, she seems to really struggle with her meals. And she does sleep but I can hear her stirring and moving around a few times in the night" Ronnie admitted, however much it pained her to speak about Danielle's problems she hoped that in the end it would help her daughter.
"Do you mind if I go and speak to Danielle now?" Al asked gently, unsure about Danielle's current condition. "Yeah she is in the bedroom" Ronnie replied, making her way to Danielle's bedroom door with Al following close behind. "Sweetie" Ronnie said cautiously as she tapped the door. "Al is here to speak to you" Ronnie continued as she slowly opened the door. Danielle didn't respond to Ronnie, she lay in the same position on her bed that Ronnie had left her. "He just wants to see if you're ok that's all, a quick chat" Ronnie said, hoping to get any sort of response or acknowledgement from Danielle. But she stayed silent and still; curled up tightly on her mattress.
"Do you mind" Al whispered as Ronnie pulled back from the doorframe defeated. Ronnie grudgingly stepped aside. "Danielle, I'm just here to have a chat. We can speak about whatever you want and if it gets too much then I will go" Al reassured Danielle. As Al spoke Danielle's began to open up, the vice of an impartial listener almost reassuring. Her head lifted up and legs stretched out as she gradually began to listen to what the doctor was saying. Wary of Ronnie's presence Danielle offered a small nod so Al proceeded further into her bedroom. As Al entered Ronnie went to follow, taking one step before he turned to face her.
"I think it's best if me and Danielle have a quick chat alone at the moment" Al said, trying to sound gentle and caring, whilst at the same time authoritative and professional. Hurt, Ronnie took a step back before the door closed firmly in her face. She stood alone, her right hand resting against the closed door with a single tears dropping of her eyes lashes and rolling down her cheek.
"So how are you feeling today Danielle?" Al asked gently, knowing that a sensitive approach was necessary. "Your mum said you fainted earlier" Al continued as Danielle lay on the bed; her body slightly more extended and open than before but she was still tense, ready to snap back and curl away at any second. "She seems really worried about you" Al said, hoping to coax Danielle into a conversation.
"Don't count on it" Danielle muttered. Al noticed how hoarse Danielle's voice sounded; how cold and angry she seemed. "Well she asked me to come and have a chat, so she obviously cares about you" Danielle registered his words. How could this stranger have taken Ronnie's side, believed her when she pretended she cared? The anger built up inside of Danielle as she pictured that look in Ronnie's eyes, the look of shame she was sure she had seen.
Danielle struggled to lift her torso up, dragging herself to the headboard as Al watched on. He noticed the tension in Danielle's limbs; the effort she had put in just to drag herself upright. Face to face Al now saw the pronounced cheek bones and thin face, her pale white cheeks and blotchy skin. As Danielle rearranged her bed linen around her body he took in the sight of her weak limbs, each painfully thin arm lifeless and dropped to her side as she shuffled in between the sheets.
"Danielle, I need you to tell me what happened earlier" Al began now that Danielle seemed in position to talk. He was unsure about what she was thinking but the fact that she had taken the time and effort to drag herself upright meant that he had more of a chance.
"I just felt a bit lightheaded. One moment I was standing talking to Ronnie and the next I was on the floor. But I'm fine now" Danielle said firmly, carefully emphasising her words as she tried to sound convincing. "Have you been feeling ill before you fainted?" Al responded.
"I have been feeling a little unwell for a couple of weeks but it's just a stomach bug, something I probably picked up from the market or The Vic" Danielle spoke quickly, her thoughts and words hurried. Al let Danielle speak but as he watched her he could see the worry and fear in her eyes, each question alarming her and forcing her into a panicked response. Despite this Al continued hoping to ease Danielle into confronting whatever problem lied below the surface of this troubled young girl.
"And how have you been eating and sleeping recently?" Al said, he may have asked Ronnie the same question but he needed to hear Danielle answer it for herself. Danielle let Al's question and the mention of food sink in for only a second before she felt her heart race quicken, an unbearable pain in her stomach shot through her. She wasn't sure if it was another sign of the damage she was doing to herself or a pang of guilt, shame and fear crippling her all at once.
"I have been sleeping ok, bit restless but I always am, always have been since I was a child really" Danielle muttered away, she seemed to be trying to force her thoughts away from the situation at hand, force herself to get lost in happier memories as she reflected and spoke about her childhood. "And what about meals? Are you eating regularly?" Al persisted with the question. He had his suspicions; he had seen the signs and symptoms and despite her tense and hurried responses he wanted to try and let Danielle talk.
"I'm, I'm..."Danielle stuttered, her hands beginning to shake as they lay on the mattress as her head dropped down. "It's ok, we don't have to talk about anything you don't want to" Al said gently, placing his hand carefully next to Danielle's on the mattress. "When you have been feeling ill, have you been sick? Throwing up?" Al asked. Even though Danielle didn't say a word he heard a quiet whimper as Danielle's head dropped further until it reached the soft mattress.
"Danielle, you don't have to answer any questions. Why don't I just have a quick look at you to check you're ok? You don't have to say or do anything I promise" Al said kindly as he gently checked her stomach, pressing his hands against her stomach as he noted the distension and swelling. Silently Al moved to Danielle's mouth, observing the wear on her teeth and the back of her throat. As Al prodded and poked her, checking her blood pressure and pulse Danielle silently shut down, not observing or thinking about what was happening, her body almost like a rag doll as she let the doctor examine her.
As Al pulled away from Danielle she curled up once again, lifting her legs to her chin and wrapping her arms around her knees as she closed off from the world without a word. He was preparing to leave anyway but Al took Danielle's move as a sign that their 'chat' was over. She may not have opened up as he first hoped but Danielle had all but answered Al's questions and worries without needing to say a word.
Al silently left Danielle's room, shutting the door as he left. He walked into the lounge to find Ronnie on the sofa, her head dropped deep into her hands; a position that almost mirrored that of her daughter only moments earlier. "Miss Mitchell" Al said cautiously. His voice made Ronnie shot up, her bloodshot eyes and despondent stare fixed on Al as he stood before her. "How is she?" Ronnie asked, desperate for an answer but unsure whether she wanted to hear what the doctor was about to say.
"Well I had a brief chat with Danielle and..." Al started to speak before Ronnie abruptly cut in. "She spoke to you, opened up to you?" Ronnie asked, hurt that Danielle would open up to a complete stranger and not her even though he was only trying to help. "What did she say?" Ronnie asked instinctively, part of her knew that as a doctor Al couldn't say anything but she needed to try, the elusive truth playing on her mind and unanswerable questions lingering amongst her thoughts.
"I can't tell you what your daughter said" Al responded robotically, a line he had clearly practised over the years but at the same time he wanted to sound compassionate and caring in the face of a despairing and broken women. "Please Al, I need to know. Can you at least tell me what's wrong?" Ronnie stepped closer to him as she spoke. "I can't say anything; all I would suggest is that you keep an eye on her. Try and get some food down her to help keep her strength up. And if Danielle doesn't manage to eat make another appointment. She will need to make an appointment anyway for a blood test, just routine" Al said reassuringly as he watched Ronnie take in the information.
"And maybe look into booking an appointment for Danielle to speak to someone, there are lots of people that can help at the hospital or a specialised clinic" Al added. "What!" Ronnie snapped back after listening to Al intently. "I just think Danielle would benefit from talking to someone" Al said cautiously as Ronnie's eyes narrowed, her brow furrowed and face tense as she became angry.
"She can talk to me, I'm her mother!" Ronnie barked, her voice raised in frustration and anger as weeks of pain began to unload onto an unsuspecting Al. "That's not what I meant Miss Mitchell, I think..." Before Al could finish his apologetic reasoning an upset and angry Ronnie interrupted, "We don't need help, we just need each other!"