Hi all! I leave on vacation on Saturday and even though I'll have internet access, I'll also have a pesky family actually expecting me to participate and stuff. So I decided to update before I go.
Arfalcon is my amazing beta.
*0*0*
Her skin, her hands, her mouth…Edward was lost in a sea of her, wanting to touch her everywhere all at once. She was all around him, kissing, pressing, fingers dragging across him, until he thought he'd go crazy from it.
They made it as far as the border of the Yukon Territory. Two hundred miles was all Edward could manage before he'd turned off the road and pulled Bella into his arms, needing to kiss her to reassure himself that she was here, she was his, this was real. In moments, a kiss across the gear shift hadn't been enough and then Bella was in his lap, straddling him. And now they were locked in a tangle of limbs, struggling to get closer, kissing like they'd never stop. Her fingers were in his hair and her thighs were gripping his hips. She rocked against him and he groaned. She pressed harder and the metal struts of the seat under him began to whine.
"Mmmm, Bella, we have to stop," he muttered against her mouth.
"No one is here. Just you and me."
She shifted to get herself closer to him and her knee banged into the door panel, cracking it and leaving a fiberglass-shredded hole.
"If we do this here we'll rip the Jeep apart and end up running all the way back to the lodge."
Bella kissed the side of his neck and sighed. "I don't think I'd mind so much right now." She couldn't get enough of him. He made her crazy and wanton. She was never like this before. She knew it might have been her crazy newborn emotions at work, but she was more inclined to think this was just the effect Edward had on her. She kind of liked the idea that this man had reached inside her and unlocked a part of her that no one knew existed, including herself. She liked that he turned her into an animal. She hoped he always would.
"Just the same, it's Emmett's Jeep." Edward was trying to talk them back down, but his hands had other ideas, sliding over her hips and around to her ass.
"Oops," she whispered in his ear. Her fingers trailed down his chest, aiming for the waistband of his jeans.
"Considering how it happened, he won't mind. But we should—"
"Wait."
"Yeah."
"Ugh."
"I know."
Bella swung herself off him and back into her seat. They both stared sullenly through the windshield for a moment.
"Let's talk about something else," Edward grumbled.
"Good idea."
"Gas."
"What?"
"We need to stop for gas, at least a few times."
"Are you going to drop me off first like we did on the way out?" She didn't like that idea. She could see the logic in it, but still, she didn't want to be away from Edward.
"I don't want to. Not that you can't take care of yourself," he said with a smirk. "I just don't want to."
Bella smiled back at him. "I think I can do it. A gas station."
"You're sure?"
She thought about the human encounters on the trip out. None of them had been at all close, but by the end, she was able to tolerate a truck going by without doing damage to their vehicle. "Maybe? You won't let me do anything bad, will you?"
"Of course not."
"See? I trust you."
"Just promise me you'll tell me if you think you can't handle it."
"You have to trust me, too," Bella said with a smile.
"I do trust you, Bella Swan," he said, leaning across the console to kiss her again. "It's that wild newborn in you I don't trust."
She reached up to run a hand over his cheek. "Trust me to tell you if I can't control myself, too. I promise I won't try to tough it out. Someone's life is at stake. I wouldn't play around with that."
"You amaze me, Bella," he said in wonder.
She laughed. "Why?"
Edward shook his head. "I was about to say 'when I was your age', but that's wrong on so many levels. In one way, you're older than me, but if we count all the actual years of existence—"
Bella gave a false gasp of horror. "You're a cradle-robber! So creepy."
"Very funny. No, I was just going to say that you're doing so much better than I did. Better than most do. You didn't lose yourself. You're still that caring girl you were before."
"Only now with 300 percent more indestructibility."
"Thank God. I'd be afraid to touch you if you were still human."
Bella closed her eyes and groaned. "Don't talk about touching me."
Edward laughed and re-started the engine. "Right."
Something occurred to her as he pulled back on the empty ribbon of highway. "Edward, would you have?"
"Would I have what?"
"Touched me? If—well, if none of this had happened. If I was still—"
"Human?"
"Yes."
Edward stared out the windshield for a moment, considering. "I'd like to think I wouldn't have."
"Oh." She felt slightly deflated. What was between them felt so massive, so all-consuming, that she expected him to tell her that there was no way he could have denied it no matter what the obstacles.
"You were human," he pointed out unnecessarily.
Bella nodded moodily.
"It was crazy for me to be anywhere near you. I could have killed you at any moment. I nearly did the first time I saw you. You have no idea how close it was."
She sighed. "I get it. So—"
"Yes."
"What?"
"Yes, I would have touched you. I mean, I like to think I would have done the right thing and left you alone. Maybe disappeared entirely and let you lead your normal human life. I like to think I would have been that noble. But that's a lie. I wouldn't have been able to stay away from you."
Bella grinned at him. "Really?"
"You seem inordinately pleased that I was willing to risk your life because I had a crush on you."
"It was more than a crush," she said softly, not teasing anymore.
He reached for her hand. "Yes, it was. Too much for me to resist."
"Me either."
Edward exhaled long and slow. "I need to get you back to the lodge, so let's gas up and get on with it."
Bella sighed and nodded.
*0*0*
He parked the Jeep on the shoulder of the road a hundred yards from the gas station. Everything was quiet. The deserted highway stretched for miles in either direction. It was freezing cold outside, so no one lingered there. Edward could detect one human, the manager, inside. He was behind the counter, feet up, watching Wheel of Fortune, enjoying the comfort of the space heater beside him.
Edward looked at Bella. "What do you think?"
She had her eyes closed and her jaw locked. It was awful. She could hear his heartbeat even from that distance and the smell….
"I can't," she muttered, barely opening her mouth. "It's so hard, even here. I'm afraid of what will happen when you open the door. I don't want to risk it."
"Okay, let's get you out of here then."
Edward had them turned around and flying back down the highway in seconds. When he found a break in the woods, he took the Jeep off-road as far as they could go. Once he was sure they were well away from any potential encounters with humans on the highway, he stopped to let Bella out. Even then he wasn't satisfied, running with her another mile into the deep woods, far away from any hiking trails.
"I can get there and back in fifteen minutes. You'll be okay?"
Bella smiled and leaned up on tiptoe to kiss him. "I'll be fine. I'll sit right there on that rock and I won't move a muscle. I bet I'll have snow on me when you get back."
"It won't even have time to land on you," Edward said, kissing her cheek. "I love you."
Bella's smile lit him up inside as he backed away. She was still smiling when he turned and sprinted into the trees.
Bella missed him the second he disappeared. It made no sense, but she felt colder. It was crazy how much she craved his presence after only a few minutes without it.
She sat down on the rock, just as she promised. She half-hoped it would start snowing again, just so he'd come back to find her dusted with white. It would be funny.
It didn't snow, but five minutes later, something did fall from the sky. Or rather, from a tree behind her.
Every fine hair on the back of her neck stood up. Bella knew without even turning around that she was no longer alone and the one nearby was another of her kind. Every muscle tensed to attack, but she fought down her raging fury so she could think.
"I thought I'd never get you alone."
She knew that voice. Even through the haze of her transformation and the weak human memories, she knew.
When she stood and turned around, Victoria was twenty feet away, watching her. Without thinking, Bella raised her hand to her neck, her fingertips tracing over the map of raised silver lines there. They tingled. The one who'd left them on her was here.
Knowing that she was now the physical equal of Victoria didn't entirely quell her human reaction. The last time she'd seen her—the only time—Victoria had literally brought her to her knees, torn her throat open and nearly killed her. A part of Bella reacted with pure terror.
The rest of her, the raging newborn with a short fuse, reacted with rage. Bella knew she had to find the middle ground between the two. If she gave into the urge to fly at her, ripping and tearing, she'd be taken apart in no time. At the same time, she remembered what Edward told her. She was the fastest and strongest she'd ever be at this moment. She needed to channel that and use it. She had to be strong and smart.
Victoria took one step towards her, but instead of retreating, Bella stepped to the side. Her anxiety flared and she fought against the panic. She remembered her last clear vision of this woman, sinking her teeth into Riley's neck.
Riley.
He was trapped in this life because of this woman and her reckless vengeance.
"What do you want?" Bella finally asked, satisfied that she sounded in control even if she didn't feel it.
Victoria cocked her head to the side as if puzzled. "You, of course. I should have just killed you in the first place."
Bella stepped to the side again. Victoria did, too, so that they were slowly circling each other.
"Why didn't you?" She knew the answer, but she was playing for time, giving herself room to think and plan.
"When I saw that you weren't in love with Edward, that there was someone else, it seemed like a better idea. It would hurt him more if you lived forever and he never had you." Victoria paused and examined Bella curiously. "But you do love him, don't you?"
Bella nodded slowly. "I do."
Victoria smiled smugly. "Then back to the first plan. I should have kept it simple, right?"
"It's not as easy to do now," Bella pointed out. "You made sure of that."
"Not as easy, but possible. You think you know how to fight me off, little one?"
"Don't call me that," Bella snapped, unable to tamp down her flare of temper.
"Why not? I made you."
"You think that matters to me?"
"I don't care," she shrugged dismissively. "What did you do with the other one, anyway?"
"I didn't do anything with him. We're not together anymore. Not like that."
Victoria smiled. "I saw how he was with you. And now you've left him for this one?" She shook her head, smirking. "He must hate you."
Bella swallowed hard, hating that Victoria had struck anywhere close to the truth. She knew she had to stay calm, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Everything in her was aware of the threat and the danger and was urging her to fight. She wanted to fight. She wanted to sink her teeth into skin and tear limbs as hard as she could. She wasn't even sure where their kind were vulnerable, if they even were. Alice told her they could be killed but it was difficult. If it came down to it, she'd just have to trust her instincts. She seemed to have plenty of them these days.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Bella asked, still edging to the left, trying to prolong the confrontation until she could come up with a plan and see an opening.
Victoria blinked at her in confusion. "This has nothing to do with you. This is about him. Edward. He'll come back here for you and find nothing but a pile of ashes. Then he really will know how I feel."
"Edward was just protecting Alice."
At the mention of Alice's name, Victoria's face transformed and she snarled. Bella finally sensed a weakness and she pressed on.
"Why are you avenging him? He was just using you to get to Alice. She was the one he was after."
"Shut up! You don't know anything! He loved me!"
"Maybe you were just handy."
Victoria snapped her teeth together and growled, looking more animal than human. Finally, Bella thought she might have a chance. If she could keep going and get her upset enough, then maybe she'd have an opening.
"Shut up!" she shouted.
"He never even told you about her, did he?"
Victoria's face lost all of its loveliness. Her mouth twisted with rage, her hands curled into claws, she was hunched and savage. Almost there, Bella thought. She just needed an opening, an undefended spot to aim for.
And then she was out of time. Victoria snapped, covering the twenty feet still separating them with a single jump. The sound of her body slamming into Bella's echoed through the woods and off the surrounding mountains.
*0*0*
Edward returned to the gas station and was filling the tank in six minutes. While he pumped the gas, he let his mind wander, back to the car on the side of the road and Bella straddling his lap. He rubbed his hand over his face and wondered if he'd have the endurance to hold out until they were back to the lodge.
His phone vibrated in his pocket. Alice. She did have a knack for calling at the most inappropriate times.
"Wow, Alice. A whole five hours. How did you restrain yourself?"
"She's not with you!"
Alice's frantic voice chased away every trace of humor. "We needed gas. I left her in the woods."
"Go!"
"Is it a hiker?" he asked as he stowed the gas pump and recapped the tank at lightning speed, not caring if the manager saw him moving too fast.
"Victoria. She's been following you."
Edward swore under his breath as he swung back into the Jeep and floored it. "How? Where?"
"She knows how to stay undetected, Edward. It's how she did it the first time. She must have been near here, watching for an opening."
"And I just gave her one." Edward gripped the steering wheel so hard that it began to crack under the pressure. "I never should have brought her back alone."
"She's not human anymore, Edward."
"That doesn't mean she can defend herself! What do you see, Alice?"
"Circling. Arguing. Oh—"
"What?"
"Hurry. Victoria attacked her."
*0*0*
Bella landed with a violent, earth-shaking thud fifty feet away from where she'd just been standing. It didn't hurt, exactly, but she was stunned by the suddenness and the power just the same.
There was no time to get her bearings though, because Victoria was on her, pinning her down, her hands scrambling over Bella's shoulders and into her hair, trying to get a grip. Bella knew instinctively that she could not let Victoria get her hands on her that way, so she planted her feet and arched up sharply underneath her.
Victoria might have caught her by surprise, but Bella was right about being stronger. When she jack-knifed her body, it sent Victoria flying backwards off her. Bella bounded into a crouch, balanced on the balls of her feet. Victoria had barely hit the ground before she sprang at her.
She was growling when Bella fell on her. Victoria's hands clawed at her face. Bella swatted them away with her own, her anger and instincts guiding her. She knew what she needed to do. Her head. She needed to take off her head. As ghastly as the thought was, she was sure she could do it if she had to. If she got the chance to.
But Victoria wasn't going to make it easy. In a movement so fast Bella could hardly see it, her hand shot out towards Bella's, closing around her left wrist. She twisted. Bella screamed and fell back as the sharp pain shot up her arm.
There was a sound, a low, grinding, cracking. Bella wrenched her arm to the side and managed to break Victoria's grip on her wrist. She staggered back and glanced down to see the damage.
Her hand was only partially connected to her arm.
The still-human part of her was horrified, shocked into immobility by what had just happened. But the new vampire was mad. It hurt. She was also oddly fascinated by it. She could still move her fingers. When she wiggled them, they responded. And when she flexed her wrist, despite the pain radiating up her arm, it moved. In fact, when she flexed, her hand pressed back against the ragged edge of her wrist and stuck there, as if it were trying to knit itself back together.
Before she could marvel at the miraculous powers of her new body, Victoria was charging at her again, snarling with rage. Bella stumbled back, trying to keep her still-fragile hand out of danger. Now she was fighting one-handed.
Victoria lunged and Bella swiped with her good arm, swinging her body out to the left to dodge. Her fingers tangled in Victoria's hair and she fisted. There was a bloodcurdling howl and Bella raised her hand, a hank of bright red curls still clutched tight in it.
There was no time to gloat; Victoria spun and charged at her again. Bella only had time to lift her arms in defense before she was hurtled backward. Her damaged wrist was weak. She didn't know how long she could hold her off. Victoria leaned in on her good arm, her face just inches from Bella's. Her teeth snapped and her hands grappled towards Bella's face. She tried bucking her off again, but Victoria was ready this time, her knees planted firmly on the ground, caging her in.
Bella braced her good arm against Victoria's shoulders, holding her back. Her weak left hand grasped out to her side, hoping to find something she could use as a weapon, but she came up empty, her fingers finding only snow and frozen soil.
She had a sinking realization that this was the end. She couldn't see a way out of this. Her life was about to be snuffed out by this woman for the second time and there was nothing she could do about it.
Edward would find her destroyed and then what? A worse thought occurred to her. Maybe Victoria would wait for him, and end him, too. They'd both end up dead out here, just like Victoria's James.
It wasn't fair. She'd just found him. She'd just adjusted to the idea of a never-ending life and she'd done it by imagining it with Edward. He was her reason. That she should survive everything only to end here in a remote wilderness without him—it broke her heart.
Victoria's fingers curled into her hair. Bella could feel the grip on her head tighten and she knew the moment was on her. She shoved up with her right arm, but only succeeded in holding Victoria another inch away. The outcome was still inevitable.
A deafening crack split the forest in two. Bella tensed at the sound, thinking that it must be coming from her, the sound of her own body being torn apart. But a split second later, she could sense every part of herself still intact, except that the weight of Victoria was gone.
She twisted off the ground and onto her feet. Twenty feet away, locked in a blur of motion, were Edward and Victoria. They were moving so fast, attacking and counter-attacking, that only her own super-human vision allowed her to see them at all. If she was still human, they'd be nothing but a blur.
He was a better fighter than Bella, and he was aggressive. Instead of just reacting and lashing out blindly, he attacked with focused precision. Victoria was the one on the defensive, dodging and twisting to escape him. It was the Edward she remembered from the night she was attacked on campus. Bigger, fiercer and deadly. He was enraged.
He was bent nearly double as he charged Victoria. She hadn't even recovered from his last assault when his shoulder caught her square in the stomach. The force of his impact flung her down on her back. Edward drew up, preparing to descend on her, but at the last second, she recovered enough to twist away. Edward's momentum carried him forward onto his hands and knees and from her crouch three feet away, Victoria pounced. In an instant, the tables had been turned. She was on his back, her hands were on his head.
Bella didn't think. She didn't plan. She just flew at her, all fury and fierce protectiveness. Victoria would not take him from her. She barreled into Victoria and the three of them flew sideways, propelled by Bella's fearsome strength.
For a terrifying moment, Bella lost her place in the battle. There were clawing hands and snapping teeth and kicking feet and she couldn't tell one from another. Then Edward shoved his shoulder sharply into her chest, pushing her back out of the fray. Another blur of motion and everything suddenly stilled. Victoria was on her knees and Edward was crouched behind her. He had his arms banded around her torso. Victoria's arms were pinned at her side. She twisted and growled, but Edward just gritted his teeth and held tight.
"Bella, finish her," he hissed.
She froze. Victoria snapped her head back and Edward arched to avoid her. Her hands clawed at her own thighs, unable to reach anything else.
"Bella!"
Bella's eyes met Edward's over Victoria's shoulder. "You have to, Bella," he said, his voice once again the one she knew and loved.
She closed the ten feet to Victoria. The red-headed demon who'd haunted her, the terrifying creature who'd burned her alive and thrust her into this new eternal life stilled, watching warily. Bella made herself look back. A thousand emotions flitted across Victoria's face. Rage, confusion, frustration, and finally, despair. As Edward held her tight and Bella drew closer, she seemed to realize there was no escape. The girl she'd tried to use as her instrument of revenge was standing before her, stronger than any of them and set on her own revenge.
Bella leaned closer, still not looking away.
"I'm sorry you lost him. Eternity alone is unbearable."
Bella's empathy shocked Victoria. Her mouth fell open and her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at Bella.
"I understand and I'm sorry," Bella continued, as she calmly reached out to settle her hands on either side of Victoria's head. "But I don't intend to face eternity without Edward for the same reason. And that's why I have to do this. I understand your anger, and I'm not even mad that you did this to me. But even though you started me and I'm glad for that, I still have to end you."
Victoria's eyes went wide for just an instant and then Bella twisted and tore. She wrenched sideways and the eerie crack and tear filled the small, snowy clearing. It was horrifying and unreal. The surreal nature of it was all that allowed her to keep going, to keep twisting and tearing until it was done. Victoria's head was clutched in her hands, and the body slumped in Edward's unrelenting grip.
Bella staggered back, her gaze still locked with Victoria's, vacant eyes in a homeless head.
Edward dropped her body and reached out to Bella, loosening her fingers from the tangled red hair.
"It's okay, Bella. Just let her go. I have to finish it."
She finally looked up at him. "Finish it?" She'd just beheaded the woman; she wasn't sure how much more final it could be.
"She needs to be burned," Edward said quietly, turning their terrorizer's face away towards the woods. "It won't be over until she is."
"Oh." Bella put her hand over her mouth, the horror of what she'd just done catching up to her. The crazed newborn rage ebbed away, leaving only her and the woman she'd ripped apart with her bare hands.
Edward could see the moment in her face. He reached out with one arm and pulled her into his chest, pressing his lips to her forehead. "It's okay. You did so well."
"But Edward, oh my God—"
"I know, but we had no choice."
Bella nodded against his chest, understanding, but still in shock.
"Your wrist—" Edward murmured.
Bella flexed it in front of them. There was a raised red line where it had torn away, but that was all. "It's okay. It fixed itself. Isn't that weird?"
Edward smiled and kissed her temple again. "That's what we do. And that's why I have to burn her."
"Oh." Bella finally understood what might happen if they didn't. She inhaled sharply, smelling the air, heavy with the smell of their fight. Her hands were slick with whatever had come from Victoria's head. It was on the ground, too, smelling heavy and sweet. She rubbed her palms down her thighs, knowing she'd feel that on her hands for a long time. Edward turned away, heading to the treeline to collect some small branches. Bella finally forced herself to move as well, going to the opposite side of the clearing to do the same.
In minutes, they'd built a small pile of branches over the headless body. The wood was damp, but it would burn well enough to get the job done.
"You don't have to watch," Edward said as he drew the lighter out of his pocket.
"I know. I want to," Bella said, then swiftly corrected herself. "I need to."
Edward nodded and turned to light the pyre. The wood smoked heavily, but once it shifted to purple and he knew the body had ignited, he tossed the head on top. The sweet smell turned acrid and sharp. Finally free of his grisly burden, he pulled Bella to him and wrapped both arms around her.
"It's all over," he whispered.
She nodded, holding onto his shirt and watching the flames lick the body, the smoke turning back to grey and then finally white. The one who made her, who'd started this whole bitter journey, was gone. It was really just the two of them now. In spite of the grotesque scene she'd just been a part of, in spite of the horrible memories that she was sure would stay with her for a long time, Bella felt light. Hopeful. She was free.
*0*0*
A/N: Indulge me in a tiny bit of self-pimpage. Recently I saw the musical Once on Broadway. It's based on the movie of the same title and follows the same story. To say that I became obsessed would be an understatement. I wrote a little mini-fic about it called Once Again. If you're interested, you can find it on my profile.