A/N: Hello there, all of you! Hope you've been enjoying the story! I just wanted to thank you all for the reviews you've given me. I also wanted to comment on a few things that reviews have asked, and I'm sure most people are wondering about.

"Why didn't Eli recognize Shephard?" Easy- in keeping with canon, Shephard never saw Eli, nor had any kind of interaction with him. Woot! One down.

"When's the PCV making a return?" It starts in this chapter and is pretty much the catalyst for all the action that follows!

"Damn, man, this story is moving way too slow!" Oh yes, I can definitely understand that! But I also want to say that I'm a firm believer in the idea that you need to know all the characters intimately. I see too many fics with throwaway characters who are just placeholders for the different stereotypical heroes, anti-heroes, villains, sidekicks, etc. I want the characters I portray to have a connection with the reader before I let anything happen to them!

I really hope this assuages a lot of fears! But feel free to yell at me some more! I always want to know how to make the story better!

Now on with the show!

Oh, life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up

Losing My Religion – R.E.M.

Shephard's Story

-Unlocking Potential-

The silence of the muggy hut was shattered as Adrian's trigger finger, nervously twitching, jerked and let loose a steam of hot, supersonic lead. The bullets impacted in the hardened mud behind the petrified group of children and their mother. Shephard quickly regained control, and safetied his rifle. But his comrade, Weinman, wasn't as cool headed. Shephard's misfire had been misinterpreted, and Weinman opened fire.

The blood sprayed across the back wall, and the mother screamed out, before teetering over and sliding down against the clay bricks. The children were hysterical and Adrian knocked Weinman's rifle out of its line of sight and shoved him against the wall.

"What the fuck was that?" Weinman's eyes were as big as twin moons, and he struggled to reply, but the butt of Shephard's M4 against his neck obstructed him. "She was a goddamn civilian!" Weinman pushed Shephard back and raised his rifle, not at the children, but at Adrian.

"Step off Shephard! I had to bag me a raghead! Everyone else got one!" Shephard, undeterred by the rifle in his face, stepped forward till the barrel was wedged against his chest.

"You will lower your weapon right now, or so help me fucking god I will make sure you leave this village in a body bag!" Shephard's vision was blurring with rage, he was ready to take a bullet for the children still screaming in the corner.

Weinman, though, couldn't stand the high-pitched wails. "Shutup!" He yelled, but they continued regardless. Rifle still pushed against Adrian's chest he looked over and repeated his order, louder. When they didn't listen, he swiftly spun around and aimed at the front child. "I said shut the fuck-!"

But Adrian had anticipated Weinman's move and brought his elbow down on the barrel of the rifle, lowering its angle. Weinman pulled the trigger and bullets poured into the floor, kicking up dust and shattering Shephard's ear drums with excruciating explosions.

Stunned, Weinman tried to recover, but Shephard brought his leg down in a sweeping motion, kicking in his knees, and dropping him to the floor. Tumbling over, Adrian brought the full weight of his boot to the young soldier's neck, blocking off his air supply, and training his berretta on the man's forehead.

"No, don't! Please!" Weinman croaked. Shephard shoved the pistol hard into his forehead.

"You've already given me a reason." And he pulled back the hammer, causing Weinman's eyes to widen even more, and his struggling to become more frantic.

There was a large explosion outside, showering the open door way with clumps of dirt, and causing the ringing in Adrian's ears to climb to new heights of pain.

X X X

The ringing didn't stop when Adrian woke up. He found himself in his quarters at the base, but it took him a moment to remember where he was. Nothing seemed permanent anymore. He always had the dreams when he slept. Sometimes they were new, sometimes it was just more of the same, but it was always nerve racking. He would have to talk to Yuri and see if he had anything for the dreams.

Rummaging through his dresser, he searched for a pair of pants and another sweater, his old ones torn to shreds after the experience in Ravenholm. He through several pairs of shorts aside before coming across the set of urban camouflage fatigues. He pulled them out, and pondered throwing them on. But decided against it. They were part of a life he wasn't living anymore; he should let them die along with his past. He unceremoniously stuffed them back in the dresser.

Dressed, Adrian slipped out of his small quarters just in time to run into Stanley, on his way down the hall.

"Oh hey Adrian, I was just looking for you. Yuri wants to see you down in the infirmary, everyone's getting their vitals checked." Shephard nodded and headed the opposite way, downstairs. It made sense that as soon as they returned, everyone should be checked for infections, Ravenholm wasn't know for its efficient sanitation department.

"You wanted to see me?" He said pushing open the large metal door to the makeshift sick bay. Yuri was busy looking under a microscope, but waved him in. He took the sample tray off, which glowed an unearthly green, and slipped it into a small machine, which hummed obnoxiously. "More of that stuff Mossman gave you?"

"Da." Yuri said, checking several of the switches on the side of the container. "I'm checking its chemical composition. But it'll take a few moments. So in the meantime I can give you a quick once-over." He said, pulling on a pair of white gloves. "Now, turn your head and cough, no?" Adrian allowed himself a slight smile.

"No way, doc." Yuri chuckled and gestured for Adrian to take off his shirt.

"Take a seat on the table." He said motioning to the same cold examination table Adrian had originally woken up so long ago. "Just like old times? Though you were pretty heavily sedated when I had you here last." Adrian didn't respond, but hopped on top of the cold cushion. Yuri came up behind him and perused his skin, checking to make sure none of the scratches were new, or promising infection. "Anything take a jab at you back in Ravenholm, comrade?"

"No, not that I remember. Though I spent a lot of time in the sewers." He nearly shuddered at the memory of the Zombie that had attacked him from underneath the waters surface, and those fast zombies that seemed to hug the curved walls of the system. Suddenly there was a small prick on the underside of his arm and Shephard jumped. "Hey!"

Yuri chuckled and told him to hold still. "I'm just getting a small sample of your blood. I need to check for infections. Septicemia isn't such a nice way to go." Yuri got the sample he needed and pulled out a small piece of cotton and anti-coagulant to close up the small prick. He stopped, though, in the middle of it, and raised Adrian's arm, scrutinizing it carefully.

"What?" Adrian asked. Yuri didn't answer immediately, but checked the other arm as well.

Finally, he spoke up. "Where did you get these bruises?" He held up Shephard's arm and let him see the faint bruises, which almost entirely covered his arm. Adrian was astonished that he had never noticed. They had at least hurt.

"I…I don't know. In Ravenholm I guess?" Yuri didn't say anything, but grabbed a small digital camera. He took several shots from several different angles before setting it down. "What's the matter Yuri?"

Yuri set the camera down on the counter opposite Shephard and didn't turn to face him. "Nothing. You're fine." The small machine in the corner, which had been examining the green anti-septic, chimed approvingly. "Now, I really need to get back to my work. You're fine to go." Yuri still wouldn't face Adrian.

"But I needed to ask you something… My dreams, they're…"

"Adrian." Yuri said turning now to face him. "I really need to work on this, can we talk about it later?"

Shephard nodded, and without saying goodbye, left Yuri to his work.

"So? What's the prognosis? You gonna live?" Katya said cheerfully as Adrian exited the infirmary. Shephard made a face at her and followed he up the stairs and towards the mess hall.

"Yeah I'm fine, but Yuri's acting a little weird. And did you notice these bruises before?" He said pulling back the sleeves on his sweater, revealing them. Katya glanced over them but didn't take the kind of notice Yuri had.

"So what? You exerted yourself pretty good back there, I'm surprised we're even alive at all." She smirked. "But come on, let's get some food and help the others unload the van."

X X X

"I can't believe it!" Aaron said throwing his freeze-dried meal across the room. Stanley stood in petrified silence, his hand hanging in the air where he had held the meal.

"Uh… your welcome?" He stifled out. Aaron just glared at him.

"I risk my life out there and all we recover is this freeze-dried crap? There ain't no justice in the world." Stanley turned away, and grabbed his own meal, with which he was happy.

"Fine, more spagetti and meatballs for me." He quipped. Aaron huffed and stalked into the back, throwing open one of the large refrigerators. Stanley noticed and called back to him. "The general said we gotta ration the fruit, mate!"

"Ration this!" Stanley ducked and dodged a flying metal pan, which clattered against the wall behind him.

"Stan!" Slick called out. "Just ignore him, he hasn't 'ad his nap yet." Aaron ignored them, though, as he marched out of the room, apple held between his teeth, and a loaf of bread in his grip.

"Selfish bastard." Adrian muttered under his breath. He sat next to Katya, in a group and consisted of everyone but the general and Yuri. Aaron stopped mid-stride and spat the apple into his hands.

"You want to say somethin' to me, freak?" He bellowed menacingly. He dropped his food on the table next to him and approached Shephard, who stood up from his seat.

"Aaron! That's enough!" Katya yelled, but he didn't listen to her this time. Ivan, Stanley and Slick sat in silence, watching the event unfold.

"You should be lucky we even have food." Adrian growled, and motioned to the bread and apple. "You shouldn't take things that don't belong solely to you." In a flash Aaron had his hand around Adrian's neck, lifting him up and onto his toes.

"You're one to talk. You drop in on us and expect to be fed, clothed, and washed like some goddamn princess! If anyone here is takin' what don't belong to them, it's you!" His eyes narrowed, his face a sick color of crimson.

Katya stood up. "Aaron let go of him now!"

"You stay outta this, darlin'. This aint your…" But mid-sentence Adrian, fueled by his rising adrenaline, combined with that out of body feeling he got whenever he felt like his life was in jeopardy, brought his hands up and brought them down hard on Aaron's arm, breaking his grip. The man howled in anger, but before he could counter, Adrian kicked his knees out, bringing him to the floor. It all felt so familiar to him, as he brought his boot to the man's neck, causing the red in Aaron's face to turn a darker shade, a mixture of embarrassment and lack of oxygen.

Shephard felt hands on him, and he was pulled away from Aaron's writhing form, who stood up coughing.

"Enough!" He heard Ivan yell. The haze finally lifted, and Adrian finally realized he was nearly hyperventilating, he was breathing so fast.

"Aaron! Take your goddamn food and get the hell out of here. You collect your shit before you think of coming back inside." Stanley yelled. Aaron, stilled trying to catch his breath, spat at Shephard's feet and turned to walk out. Grabbing his food on his way out, he slammed the door behind him, leaving the other six standing awkwardly at the table, Adrian still catching his breath.

"Remind me not to piss you off." Slick said, breaking the silence, which was met with a chuckle and a snort from Stanley. Adrian brushed himself off, smiling with embarrassment. "Where the hell did you learn to move like that? It was so goddamn fast! I only seen Ivan here do something like that!" She said motioning to Ivan, who sat down and began eating his meal, his gaze fixed on Shephard.

"Yeah, I mean wow Adrian!" Katya said, her amazement apparent. "Aaron really needed that, I think. Teach him to stop acting out." She sat down and returned to her food, as did everyone else.

"General. I need to see you in the infirmary. General, please come to the infirmary." Yuri's voice said over the bases PA-system. Adrian looked up from his lasagna and over to Katya, raising an questioning eyebrow, she just returned her own.

X X X

"I thought it was infection. I mean you aren't supposed to have waist like that floating around in your blood stream!" Yuri said frantically, ripping readouts from a printer and laying them down on the examination table. "I mean septicemia would set in, then shock. But this stuff had been in his blood stream for sometime, so it couldn't be an infection." The general covered the paper with his hands and motioned Yuri to look him in the eyes.

"Yuri, what the hell are you talking about?" Yuri grabbed several photos from the counter and threw them into the light, on top of the blood analysis. Each had the letters ASHPD scribbled below them, indicating who they were of. "So? They look nasty, what's the point?"

Yuri sighed. "These bruises indicate longterm exposure to stressful weight baring conditions!" The general just looked dumbfounded at him. "It means to get these kind of ubiquitous, deep skin abrasions and bruises, Adrian had to be constantly overexerting himself."

"Everyone's had a hard life, Yuri. Most people spend their entire lives overexerting themselves." He dismissed the photos.

"Not like this! This is muscle damage that's been hastily repaired." He then pulled the blood readouts back to the front. "This is where these results come in. I had Stanley get me a copy of the results for nanite distribution in living tissue." He pulled a second set of papers out of his vest and laid them down next to the blood work. "See? They're exactly the same!"

"Meaning…"

"Meaning Adrian had to be constantly overexerting himself using the vest's augmentation ability, and having the nanites repair the damaged tissue. It's the only explanation." He said letting out a defeated sigh and setting the papers down.

"He was definitely using the suit to its fullest capacity before we picked him up then?" Yuri nodded. "Then what accounts for the memory loss?"

"Maybe the suit malfunctioned. Maybe he had mini-stroke caused by the exertion. I don't know!" He looked over the pictures of the bruised limbs, and a story about a man with a troubled past seemed to jump out of them. "Maybe… maybe the nanites just can't repair the damaged mind like they can the muscles."

"When's our next drop for Kleiner?" Yuri made an annoyed face at the question and rubbed his temples.

"Umm… I think the day after tomorrow? I'd have to check the schedule. Why?" Sasha was quiet while he chose his words.

"I'm going to need you to get together some of the old denim uniforms, enough for five people. I'm going to need you on this one." Yuri nodded in compliance.

"So you really want to go back in?" Sasha didn't say anything. "How long has it been since you were in 17?"

Sasha turned to leave. "Not long enough, comrade."

X X X

Stanley swiveled around in his chair. "General, sir!" He said, mock saluting. "How goes it? What brings you down to the ass end of the universe?" Sasha ignored him and threw a manila envelop on the desk in front of the bank of computer monitors. "What are these? My walking papers?"

"You wish. Open it." Stanley opened the flap and dumped several large photographs on the table. "And Stan? We need to keep this between you and me for right now, okay?"

"Sure. You got it general."

Sasha spread the three pictures out on the table. "I need you to do something for me. I need you to tell me if these are, in anyway, faked or artificially produced." Stanley made a face.

"Like what? With Photoshop?" He snapped sarcastically.

"Keep the sarcasm to a minimal soldier." Sasha snapped back equally maliciously. "I just need to know if these are the real deal."

"What are they?"

"That's on a need-to-know basis."

"I can't tell you if it's fake if I don't know what it's supposed to be. It looks like a flying saucer with a bad case of the clap!" Sasha sighed.

"Okay, but this needs to stay a secret." He pulled one picture in front of the others. "It's supposed to be a Combine space station in geosynchronos orbit."

"Yeah, pull the other one, mate." Stanley scoffed.

"I'm not fucking with you. Eli says they still have one or two spy satellites with cameras on 'em. He says the Combine might be planning something." Stanley became more serious and pulled a magnifying glass out one of the drawers.

"Well… I definitely say the picture quality is characteristic of somethin' that's been floating around up there for a good twenty years, maybe more. Lemme give the computer a look at it." Sasha nodded and let Stanley to his work.

X X X

Shephard walked down the lonely hallways that connected the different hubs of the old base. After they had eaten and unloaded with little treasures they'd gleaned from Ravenholm, Ivan told him he wanted to speak with him. When Adrian asked what it concerned, Ivan just shrugged and told him to meet him in the silo hub, room L-5. Adrian followed the corridor as it took him past all of the letters of the alphabet, from Z-9 and finally down to L-5. He paused at the hydraulic door fingering the keycard Katya had given him, he really was part of the team now. But the fact that Ivan had asked him to meet in such an obscure place troubled him.

"Don't worry, he's always like that. Dark and mysterious." Katya assured him. The thought of her laughter made him smile, as he swiped the keycard over the laser-reader.

The door opened into blackness and Adrian wondered if he had the wrong room, when suddenly the blackness lunged out at him. It grabbed him and pulled him inside. Shephard struggled, even managed a half-yelp, before the blackness had him pinned down again. The haze cascaded over his mind and his muscles reacted in a way that, again, was oddly familiar, like the imprint made in a favorite chair.

Shephard leveraged himself between the floor and his attacker and brought a boot up, shoving it away. It landed several feet away, sounding graceful as a cat. Adrian hugged the floor, careful not to make any noise, listening intently for his would-be attacker to make his move.

Like a gust of wind he felt it pass by, and strike a glancing blow, knocking Adrian off his balance. He found his footing again, but too late, as the his attacker laid into him again with several more accurate blows. He caught one of the fists as it made its way for his face and twisted it around, locking it in place, and threw several more punches into the (presumably) man's midsection. He heard the sharp exhale of air, and felt the grip the man had on him slip away, and he felt the form jump back and prepare for another strike.

"Come on, you bastard!" He yelled, though it sounded shriller than he would have wanted. "Is that you Aaron? Couldn't stand to take me with the lights on? Have to have the darkness cover up another ass kicking?"

But his valiant speech was interrupted by the blinding light of the incandescent fixtures above. Adrian shielded his eyes with one hand and got into the defensive position, anticipating another attack. But as his eyes adjusted he saw exactly who it was that had attacked him.

"Ivan?!" He nearly squealed. The man stood several feet away, next to the wall with a light switch on it. They were standing inside of a storage facility that seemed to have been converted into an exercise room. They stood near a soft blue gymnastics matt.

"It seems you know more about the finer arts of combat than you let on, comrade." Adrian just stared in dumb silence as Ivan moved from the wall socket over to a barrel full of white powder. He dipped his hands in the chalky substance and whipped the sweat from them. "But you're impulsive. You don't think, you only feel." He took several steps towards Adrian and readied himself. "Come at me."

"What?" Adrian looked perplexed.

"Hit. Me." Ivan said slower.

"Why…" But before he asked his second question, Ivan pounced on him, his fists moving like a jackhammer. Shephard brought his hands up in defense, but wasn't fast enough, taking several direct blows before breaking the lock Ivan had on him.

"Never hesitate!" Ivan screamed. Shephard's blood began to boil and he brought his leg up lightening fast for a swift kick to Ivan's side. Ivan sidestepped and caught the leg mid-swing, twisting it so hard; Adrian spun and landed on the ground, his breathing labored. Ivan stood over him, like some Greek god standing high above Mt. Olympus. "I knew the second I saw you that you were a fighter. But do you know it?"

Adrian coughed and tried to push himself up, his energy spent. "How… how?"

Ivan offered his hand, and Shephard took it, rising to his feet. "One can tell. You have the reflexes, the speed, the power, but you have no driving force." He pulled a spool of medical tap out of his pocket and began wrapping his hands. "You lost it somewhere along in your journeys." Finished with wrapping his hands, he tossed Shephard the Tape. "You have so much potential just locked up." He threw off his red shirt, and Adrian looked on in awe. His torso, covered from neck to down below the belt, was covered in Tattoos, ranging from the religious, to the practical, to the fantastical. His body was also covered in an incalculable number of scars. Some of them new, some covered up by the tattoos. Yuri took his defensive stand, his hands gesturing Shephard forward. "Let me show you how to uncage the beast."

XXX

EDIT: I also wanted to add that everyone here to should head over to moddb and vote BlackMesa: Source number one mod of the year! I don't know if I'm allowed to advertise this but may the gods strike me down! Because I think these mods are what help fuel the imagination for writers like myself. Also over at HalfLife 2 files you can grab the newest patch for Fakefactory's cinematic mod for Episode one! Check it out, the new graphics and enhanced and redone soundtrack make it much better than the original!

Regards!

-Blind