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After the total fail with Irina, Alice and I sit at a lunch table. There are no awkward silences around Alice, but she doesn't chatter mindlessly, she always asks what you think and draws you into the conversation. We discover some shared musical tastes and we are deep in discussion regarding whether "Welcome to the Monkey House" is better than "Thirteen Tales from Urban Bohemia" (of course the answer is yes but Alice tries hard to argue the negative) when Jasper arrives closely followed by Rose and Emmett. Jasper gives Alice a gentle kiss on her cheek and looks at her with such affection that I automatically look away in embarrassment but my quick glance catches Rose's eye and I'm forced to look down at the table. Suddenly I'm aware of my breathing, and where I'm sitting, and where I used to sit, and who is sitting next to me and I look up anxiously and try to work out where the other girls are. I spot them across the lunch room but they are not looking over at me at all, not even Angela, although I do feel a twinge of guilt that Angela might think that I had abandoned her. I must catch up with her in the library.

Alice draws me back into the conversation by telling Jasper about the Dandy Warhols debate but Jasper is uninterested. It appears that Jasper is a Jazz enthusiast and when he discovers that I know nothing about jazz he clearly feels the need to enlighten me. He makes it sound really interesting when he talks about it around mouthfuls of food and he emails me half a dozen websites to look at which I actually promise to do until Alice interjects that Jasper's obsession with modern jazz is a constant source of embarrassment for her and that I am under no obligation to follow up any of the things he has been saying. Furthermore, she thinks that he took up jazz just because of his nickname, Jaz, and that she finds it all pretentious, boring bullshit.

I'm sitting there with my mouth open. I wouldn't have dared to say any of this to Jasper who didn't really sound pretentious when he was explaining it. There's a moment when Jasper narrows his eyes at her when I think I might have caused an argument and I can feel myself getting ready to play peacekeeper when Jasper unexpectedly laughs, Alice joins in and I realize that he has heard all of this before and that it isn't an issue. Emmett starts giving Jasper more shit, however Emmett turns out to be a fan of 90s hair bands so he gets it all back and more. In the middle of this Edward slides quietly into the chair next to mine and I barely even notice… for about 10 seconds.

"Edward, there you are!" exclaims Alice.

Edward looks a little paler than usual and gives me a smile using only a corner of his mouth.

Oh no, he found out something. I don't know what led him to me but that must be it. He's becoming a bit distant. This is how it starts.

I can't say anything here, not in front of the others.

Alice is not nearly so reticent. "What's up with you? Are you sick?"

Edward bites into an apple and chews slowly. "A bit. I found Victoria."

Everyone falls silent, waiting to hear. All we get is the sound of another bite of apple and quite loud crunching noises. Must be a nice crisp one. Considering that he is eating elegantly with his mouth closed, it's amazing how much noise he's making.

"And?" demands Alice again, obviously not as taken with thoughts of Edward's chewing as I am.

"Let me just say that it was Fifty Shades of nauseating".

"What was?" Rose is now interested enough to take up the questioning. Edward swivels round slightly to face her but doesn't say elaborate. Alice jumps up and down in her seat a bit in frustration. "Edward! What are you trying to say? That you tied Victoria up and spanked her?"

Now I'm feeling slightly sick.

"Not me. I'm not the fifty shades of fucked up person, Victoria is. She did flick me on the ear with her whip, if that counts."

"She did what?' asks Jasper sharply. Edward just groans and puts his head in his hands. "Do I have to go over this?" he grinds out between clenched teeth.

There's a brief moment where we all look at each other. We're Edward's closest friends (I mean, as well as me) and we can tell that he is suffering. None of us want to cause him unnecessary pain. An unspoken agreement is reached among us.

"Fucking yes!" yells Emmett with a thump on the table for emphasis as Jasper, Alice and Rose all chime in.

Edward rolls his eyes at them and turns to me to explain for some reason. "Victoria was up in some kind of attic, dressed as a dominatrix, waiting for James to join her for I don't want to know what kind of activities."

Eeeewww. I've seen James around the place and I wouldn't want to go anywhere near him. A quick glance around shows the others with equally revolted faces.

"How did you find her?" asks Alice. Edward laughs humourlessly. "That freak Laurent led me there. And then he sat down to watch".

"Oh, eewk!" says Alice making extravagant sick noises. "That's even weirder than I thought" says Jasper, shaking his head slightly "But hang on, you're saying that Victoria had the whip? That she was going to beat up James?"

Without thinking I offer "Well, if I were going anywhere near James, I'd be wanting to hold a whip too". Oooops. Jasper raises his eyebrows at me so far that they get lost in his hat and Alice squints at me in concern "Bella, is there anything you'd like to tell us about this?"

Great, now I'm pinkish red yet again. "I just find James really slimy" I protest while Rose asks Edward "What was she wearing?"

Edward groans again. "Rose! I'm really trying to expunge it from my memory. I'd dig it out with one of the cafeteria plastic forks if I could. It was black and shiny and it wasn't covering much. Is that enough?" "They were in an attic storage area, you said? Did they have handcuffs and things? Other, you know, toys?"

"Rose?" interrupts Alice. "You seem awfully interested in this… why do you want to know? Haven't we heard enough details already?"

Rose pulls an innocent expression but stops asking questions. Emmett picks up his ham salad roll and starts munching stolidly. The rest of us are quiet except for the renewed sound of crunching apple from Edward. I'm desperate to change the subject before Rose confesses everything about her sex life with Emmett and we all try to dig the images out of our memories with the cafeteria plastic forks.

"Any other news?" asks Edward when he has gnawed his apple down to the core. "I didn't have much luck getting information out of Irina" I confess. "She wouldn't say what she did after leaving sick bay. So I guess she's our best suspect at the moment". I can't help a guilty twinge as I say this. I've tried not to tell too many outright lies since the beginning of this but this feels very deceitful.

Edward doesn't look too thrilled by this. "OK" he replies as disinterestedly as if I had just told him that Emmett was just finishing his second meat and salad roll (actually he's on his third). To my surprise, he gets up out of his chair. "Lunch is almost over. I'll go ask her".

"What are you going to say?" I ask, slightly panicked although I'm not sure why. "I'm just going to ask her straight out." He replies grimly. "I'm really getting sick of all this. It's just becoming a real pain. When I think about how I spent my lunchtime today… I just want to get this over with." He smiles at me again, more like himself and I'm nodding and smiling back when he leans over me, putting the back of his arm along my chair so that it's almost like his arm is around me. He leans in close and says "Want a lift home, so that I can tell you what she says?" I'm looking into his gorgeous vividly green eyes forgetting everything else including the fact that he is waiting to hear whether I want a lift home. "Bella?" he prompts me gently still looking at me from so close. I remember where I am and also the ability to perform basic functions … like breathing. "Sure." I say. He gives me a genuine smile, the first one I've seen this lunchtime. "Meet you at my car after school" he says.

I watch his figure disappear among the rabble in the lunchroom and turn away before I can see him talking to Irina, or more particularly before I can see her simpering and flirting with him. I turn back to the table to see that Alice is grinning widely. "Oooh good for him!" she says. "He's parked just next to Jasper today. I'll pick you up at your locker and we'll go down to the cars together." This doesn't seem to be a question so I just nod and fall into a small reverie based on driving home with Edward only to be rudely jolted back into the real world by the bell moments later.

Another sentence out of the outline crossed off. Am determined to finish this.