Chapter 22
The Doctor flipped a few switches. Roes had gone straight to bed to finish sleeping and healing. He was about to decide where to go when some alarms went off. The Doctor looked confused and fell down as the TARDIS began to shake and rock, throwing him all over the place. "Stop that. Stop it!" the Doctor said to the TARDIS, pushing some buttons that caused it to stop shaking. "What was all that about, eh, eh?" he asked her.
"Right. Just settle down now." a another man in a cricket suit said, running around the TARDIS pushing buttons as the Doctor did.
"Oh, excuse me." the Doctor said, bumping into him.
"So sorry." the man said, continuing to run around the TARDIS as the Doctor continued.
They both stopped at the same time and stared at each other. "What!" the Doctor said, confused.
"What?" the other man asked.
"What?" the Doctor repeated.
"Who are you?" the other man asked.
"Oh, brilliant." the Doctor said. "I mean, totally wrong, big emergency, universe goes bang in five minutes, but. Brilliant!"
"I'm the Doctor. Who are you?" the other Doctor asked.
"Yes you are. You are the Doctor." the Doctor said with a huge grin on his face.
"Yes I am. I'm the Doctor." the other Doctor repeated, staring at the man in front of him like he had two heads.
"Oh, good for you, Doctor. Good for brilliant old you." the Doctor said, still grinning.
"Is there something wrong with you?" the other Doctor asked.
"There we go, the frowny face." the Doctor said, pointing to the other man. "Although, it's a bit saggier than it out to be. Hair's a bit grayer. That's cause of me though. Two of us together's shorted out the time differential. It should all snap back into place when we get you home. Be able to close that coat again. But never mind that. Look at you! The hat, the coat, the crickety cricket stuff, the stick of celery. Brave choice, celery. But fair play to you, not a lot of men can carry off a decorative vegetable." the Doctor rambled on.
"Shut up!" the other Doctor said. The Doctor shut up. "there is something wrong with my TARDIS and I've got to do something about it very, very quickly. And it would help, it really would help if there wasn't some skinny idiot ranting in my face about every single thing that happens to be in front of him." the other Doctor said, yelling the last few words.
"Ooh, okay. Sorry, Doctor." the Doctor said, looking down and acting innocent.
"Thank you." the other Doctor took his hat off and turned to the TARDIS console.
"oh, the back of our head!" the Doctor said, unable to help himself.
"What?" the other Doctor said, turning around to glare at him.
"Sorry, not everyday you see the back of your head. Although, I can see why you wear a hat. I don't want to seem vain, but can you put it back on?" the Doctor said, still smiling.
"What have you done to my TARDIS? You've changed the desktop theme. What is it? Coral? It's worse than the leopard skin." the other Doctor said, putting glasses on and studying the TARDIS console again.
"Oh! And out they come, the brainy specs. You don't even need them. You just think they make you look a bit clever." the Doctor said, putting his hands in his pockets.
An alarm went off and the other Doctor took his glasses off and said, "That's an alert. Level 5 indicating a temporal collision. It's like two TARDIS's have merged, but there's definitely only one TARDIS present. It's like two time zones at war in the heart of the TARDIS. That's a paradox. It could blow a hole in the space-time continuum the size of..." the other Doctor said. The Doctor moved the screen around so the other Doctor could read it. "well, the exact size of Belgium. That's a bit undramatic, isn't it? Belgium?"
The Doctor reached into his pocket and pulled the sonic screwdriver out, holding it out to the other Doctor, he said, "Need this?"
"No. I'm fine."
"Oh, no, of course. You mostly went hands-free, didn't you? Like, 'hey, I'm the Doctor. I can save the universe using a kettle and some string. And look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable.'" the Doctor said.
"Who are you?" the other Doctor asked, feeling like he knew this man from somewhere.
"Take a look." the Doctor said.
"Oh. Oh no."
"Oh, yes."
"You're... oh, no, you're"
"Here it comes, yeah. Yeah I am."
"A fan."
"Yeah...what?"
"Level 10 now. This is bad. A few minutes to Belgium."
"What do you mean, a fan? I'm not just a fan, I'm you." the Doctor said, outraged to have this man think he was a fan of the Doctor.
"Okay, you're my biggest fan. Look it's perfectly understandable. I go zooming around space and time, saving planets, fighting monsters and being, well, being marvelous. So naturally, now and then, people notice me. Start up their little groups. That L.I.N.D.A lot. Are you one of them? How did you get in here? Can't have you lot knowing where I live."
"Listen to me. I'm you. I'm you with a new face. Check out this bone structure, Doctor, cause one day, you're gonna be shaving it."
A clanging bell went and the other Doctor said, "The cloister bell."
"Yeah, right on time. That's my cue." the Doctor said, running around the console pushing buttons.
"In less than a minute, we're going to create a black hole strong enough to swallow the entire universe."
"Yeah, that's my fault actually. I was rebuilding the TARDIS, forgot to put the shields back up. Your TARDIS and my TARDIS, well the same TARDIS at different points in its own time stream collided, and there you go, end of the universe, butterfingers. But, don't worry, I know exactly how this all works out. Watch. Venting the thermo-buffer." the Doctor said, spinning a knob a coupe of times. Pumping a thing that looked like a bike pump a few times he said, "roaring the Helmic Regulator!" and typing in some things on a keypad, he said, "And just to finish it off, let's fry those Ziton crystals."
"you'll blow up the TARDIS."
"Only way out."
"Who told you that?"
"You told me that." the Doctor pushed a button and a blinding white light filled the room.
As the light faded, the other Doctor said, "Supernova and black hole at the exact same instant."
"Explosion cancels out implosion." the Doctor added.
"Matter remains constant." the other Doctor finished.
"Brilliant."
"Far too brilliant. I have never met anyone who can fly the TARDIS like that."
"Sorry mate, still haven't." the Doctor said, pushing buttons. Rose had woken up when the first alarms went and now stood in the doorway, watching the two Doctors talk. Neither of them realized she was there.
"You didn't have time to work all that out. Even I couldn't do it." the other Doctor said, following the Doctor around.
"I didn't work it out. I didn't have to."
"You remembered!"
"Because you will remember."
"you remembered being me, watching you doing that. You only knew what to do because I saw you do it." the other Doctor said, figuring it out.
"wibbly-wobbly..." the Doctor said as the other Doctor joined in to say together, "timey-wimey." the Doctor lifted his hand up for a high-five which the other Doctor didn't return. Rose hid laughter as she listened to the Doctor say, "Right! TARDIS's are separating. Sorry, Doctor. Time's up. Back to long ago. Where are you now? Nyssa and Tegan? Cybermen and Mara and Time Lords in funny hats and the Master? Oh, he just showed up again. Same as ever."
"Oh, no. really? Does he still have that rubbish beard?"
"No. No beard this time. Well, a wife. Well, two wives."
The other Doctor went all blurry and started to disappear. "oh, I seem to be off. What can I say? Thank you, Doctor."
"Thank you." the Doctor said.
"I'm very welcome." the other Doctor said, disappearing.
The Doctor noticed the other Doctor's hat on the console and pushed a button, bringing the other Doctor back. "You know, I love being you. Back when I first started as the very beginning, I was always trying to be old and grumpy and important, like you do when you're young. And then I was you. And it was all dashing about and playing cricket, and my voice going all squeaky when I shouted. I still do that! The voice thing. T got that from you. Oh, and the trainers. And...snap." the Doctor said, putting his glasses on. "'cause you know what Doctor? You were my Doctor."
"To days to come." the other Doctor said, lifting his hat.
Rose decided to come out then. She walked up and held her Doctor's hand and smiled at the other Doctor. "All my love to long ago." the Doctor said, squeezing Rose's hand in return. He smiled at them then disappeared. He turned to Rose and asked, "All better now?"
"Yep. Doctor, can we go visit Jack? Then Martha? I want to know if they are healing from what happened." Rose asked, pleading the Doctor with huge eyes.
"Of course, although, the moment Jack mentions something inappropriate, we're out of there. Agreed?" the Doctor asked, looking Rose in the eye to make sure she knew he was serious.
"Agreed." Rose said, knowing he wouldn't leave until she wanted to anyway. The Doctor kissed her lightly on the lips then put the coordinates in for Earth, Cardiff, 21st century.
Author's Note: Here we go, someone in a review(thank you) reminded me about the Time Crash thingy and I wanted to add it in afterwards. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's on the box set season 4. Review! Next chapter will be up soon.