AN: Dear readers, I apologize for the wait. I had this... awful resurgence of 'real life' that dragged me away from my computer for most of yesterday... and then my muse told me to go eff myself, which was needlessly hurtful. I hope this chapter kinda sorta makes up for the delay. :(
When Katara opened the concealed door, she was thinking about something that her father had said.
They had sat side-by-side through most of Sokka's dinner, greeting guests and thanking well-wishers from both Water Tribes. Then, an unfamiliar old man had approached Hakoda and they had stepped aside to talk quietly.
The waterbender hadn't overheard much, distracted as she was by the music and general festive atmosphere, but her own name stuck in her ears. She heard her father's low, firm tone. She heard the Elder's reproach.
"…most undiplomatic…"
At last, Hakoda seemed to have reached the limit of his patience. His arms crossed and his voice was just loud enough that Katara could make out his words. "Your visit is appreciated, Elder Adiak, but the advice of the Northern Council is not needed."
The old man had frowned, the tendons in his wrinkled neck showing as he tucked his jaw in offense, and then he had shuffled away.
When Hakoda again sat beside her, Katara couldn't help but ask what that had all been about.
He peered into her eyes for a long moment, as if trying to find something there. At last, he forced a smile. "Politics." He would say no more.
For a long while, Hakoda was quiet. Guests came and went, as did a tureen of five-spice soup. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, his large hand fell on her shoulder and, when she turned to look at him, he said, "Katara, if you do decide to go along with the Fire Lord's plan… I hope you'll do it because you feel something for him. That's all."
She had blinked up at him, unsure of what to say, as he rose and strode across the room to talk to Bato. The waterbender had sat alone for a while after that, thinking – or trying to, surrounded as she was by the noise of the celebration. Finally, she offered excuses and parting congratulations to Sokka and Suki and made her way back to her own dormitory.
Today, she had felt a lot of ways about Zuko. She had felt angry and betrayed, though that now seemed unfounded. After hearing his explanation, she had felt a bit exasperated and also oddly charmed by his uncertainty. The proposal, itself, frustrated her and even sort of frightened her a little; she felt trapped, forced to make a choice that she didn't feel at all prepared for. Admittedly, though, she had enjoyed teasing him at the tea party…
…and this morning, she had felt… very good about waking beside him, about kissing him.
But none of that was a good enough reason for marriage.
As she climbed into her dark clothing, Katara thought of yesterday. She thought of how he had looked at her when she told him what she thought of his scar, how he had gone on about turtle-ducks in his delirium. She thought of his warm presence beside her as she watched her brother's wedding. All pleasant things, but not reasons to get married.
She thought back further, to their shared experiences – fighting beside him, fighting against him. The North Pole, Yon Rha, Azula… these nights of vigilante justice.
It was only when she stared into the mirror to apply the red face paint that it really started to sink in.
Her heart was pounding. Her eyes reflected back at her, flashing their anticipation.
I could do this forever.
Rousing herself, she finished applying the paint and crept out into the corridor. It was still early, so there were plenty of people out in many parts of the palace, but Katara knew by now where to find guests milling around and how to avoid them; her experiences of being chased after by Earth nobles had proven advantageous, after all.
She knew she enjoyed this secret work, possibly more than she should… it wasn't really a good reason for marriage, either, though. Eventually, it would have to end. Hopefully, they would run out of corrupt officials before either of them ended up killed…
Katara thought of Zuko, staggering back in the dark with an arrow planted in his shoulder, and stopped halfway down a corridor. She let her back press against the wall behind her and, for an instant, closed her eyes. He could have died. She could have lost him, right then and there.
Swallowing back the sick feeling, the waterbender hurried on. That archer, Chu Tan – he had to be dealt with… tonight.
As she worked the mechanism of the secret door, Katara tried to pin down just what she did feel for Zuko. After all, not wanting someone to die was different from wanting to marry that person…
The door opened on its silent hinges and the waterbender took one step inside…
…and stopped.
She saw him in profile; the firebender was sitting on the edge of his enormous bed, propped up on one arm, and his lean frame sloped down from that hitched shoulder. The muscles of his belly were relaxed, only suggested at beneath the pale expanse of his skin, and his legs were spread wide at the knee, feet flat on the floor. His head hung forward, hair shagging wetly in his face.
Somehow, he hadn't noticed her come in. Katara opened her mouth to speak, but he made the first sound. He… growled. The sound was low and hungry.
That was when she realized just what he was doing with his free hand – she hadn't noticed because, from her perspective, it was almost out of sight. But she could pick out the movement, now, could see the contrast of his pale skin against the red silk of his sleep pants.
Zuko's hand was… rubbing between his thighs in a slow, heavy motion.
With a little gasp, Katara took half a step back into the still-open door and stood in the threshold, uncertain.
Once upon a time, Uncle Iroh had told Zuko that good and evil were at constant war within him.
Currently, he was experiencing a significant skirmish.
On the side of good, Zuko knew it was not… nice… to masturbate in front of unsuspecting women. He felt that he should stop, maybe apologize, and let Katara know how embarrassed he was to be caught. Then, he could blush hotly, skitter into the bathroom, and privately finish what he had started.
…but Zuko had always been pretty bad at being good.
He was pretty sure that the side of evil was what made his hand slow further, press harder. It made his head drop back to reveal the thick column of his throat. It made his lips peel back in the hissed gasp of an exhibitionist's pleasure. The side of evil reasoned that she had strolled into his room and now she would just have to deal with the consequences.
That part of him wanted to open his eyes and pin her in place, command her to watch – all without saying a word.
The side of good dictated that he should stop and talk, that he should let her decide whether she wanted to see this, not go on as if he did not know that she was there. His face was already heating…
He decided on a compromise. The door hadn't closed, yet; she would choose for herself and, if she decided to stay, he would pretend not to know.
Zuko imagined her round blue eyes – how shocked she must be! The image deepened his breathing, made him smirk a little. Through the fabric, he squeezed the head of his cock and his hips gave a tiny upward twitch against his hand.
The door still had not closed.
Behind her fukumen, Katara's mouth hung slightly open. She had never seen a boy do this before.
Of course, there was that one time that she nearly caught Sokka at it in his new room at the new ice house, but he had screamed and covered himself (thank Yue…) and Katara had done her very best to block the entire incident from her memory. That, of course, didn't really count.
Not like this.
Zuko was… really into whatever he was thinking about – so involved that he hadn't heard her enter, hadn't heard the noise of shock she had made… He was in his own world, with his head thrown back and his muscles flexing, body pressing upward against his hand, which shifted, changed positions. He seemed to be working his fingers around his erection through the silk of his sleep pants.
The waterbender swallowed and remembered to blink. A sexual surge flooded her; she could feel the flush spreading beneath her skin like a rosy tide. Her inner muscles rippled.
The door was still open and it couldn't stay that way forever; eventually, someone would pass through the corridor and notice. Katara would have to choose – and very soon – whether she was going to slip out as silently as she had come or step fully into the room.
It wasn't exactly… conscionable to spy on someone in such an intimate moment. Zuko may have asked her to marry him, but that didn't mean that he wanted her watching him while he touched himself, thinking he was alone.
On the other hand… Katara was having trouble tearing her eyes away. She felt hypnotized by the sound of his breathing, by the slow rhythm of it all…
But, when he lifted his hand to the ties of his sleep pants, Katara knew her conscience wouldn't let her go on this way. She pulled the door shut, cleared her throat, and spoke.
"Zuko."
He didn't leap out of his skin as she had expected him to; actually, he didn't even seem a little surprised. His hand stilled on the silk ties and, a second later, he bit his lip and his eyes cracked open to cast her an almost-guilty look. His good cheek, she noticed, had already been a bit pinker than usual.
Her mouth fell open once more beneath the fukumen as it really hit home.
"You already knew I was here." Her voice was faint, but he obviously heard the accusation.
"I, uh…" The firebender's eyes widened slightly, then dropped away. The almost-guilty expression blossomed into full-blown guilt. He sat up and leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees in an overdue gesture of self-consciousness. "Yeah."
"You knew I was here and you just… kept…"
He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the floor. "Sorry, Katara… It just kind of… happened."
She stifled a smirk. "You're… bad."
The look he shot her was somewhere between guilt, hurt, and frustration. "I didn't expect you to show up this early and you could try knocking for once!" He looked away and pinched the bridge of his nose, calming himself. "I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to… scare you or-"
"Scare me?" Katara's arms crossed and the smirk emerged fully. "You think I'm scared?"
Zuko looked back at her, now assessing her with narrowed yellow eyes. It occurred to the waterbender then that it had been a bad idea to draw attention to her own part in this.
Slowly, he stood up, the muscles in his belly flexing with the movement, and turned to face her squarely. His lips were curling upward slightly at their corners, as if he'd realized something funny. "You didn't leave."
The waterbender blinked, slightly taken aback. "What?"
"You saw what I was doing. You had every chance to go back out the way you came and play like it never happened…" He took a few slow steps toward her and Katara couldn't help her eyes flicking down to the very obvious tenting of his sleep pants. After halving the distance between them, he stopped and smirked. "…but instead you decided to stay. Why?"
"I…" Her eyes were wide and it took a lot of effort to keep them focused on his face… though, from his smug expression, she imagined he had already caught her looking.
He took another step toward her. She found herself backing up.
There wasn't far to go. When her back touched the wooden panel that concealed the door, she straightened, holding her head high. "It seemed… sleazy to see you and then just pretend that I hadn't. I wanted to be honest."
Zuko stopped just outside of arm's reach. "Are you sure, Katara?"
She blinked. "About what?"
There was some arrogance in the quirk of his lips, the set of his shoulders. "Are you sure you didn't stay because you wanted to catch me, lord it over me…?" His chin dipped a little. "…tell me how bad I am?"
Katara swallowed, but couldn't manage speech with his eyes sizzling into hers the way they were. He had a point.
"You aren't scared… so what are you?" His gaze trailed down to where her arms crossed over her chest, then flicked back to her eyes. "You're breathing pretty hard…" His voice was low, suggestive.
A pleasurable shudder traveled down her spine. "So are you," she managed. Her own voice was on the husky side.
Indeed, his bare chest rose and fell as quickly as hers did against her arms. He was so close that she could smell the soap scent lingering on his skin. Her eyes flicked to his smirking lips.
Zuko watched her for a long moment before his smirk faded and, finally, he spoke. "Sokka said it was dishonorable to us both… if I kissed you when I might marry someone else." He came a bit closer, set his palms against the wall beside her shoulders, and whispered. "I don't guess you'd like to say 'yes' right now?"
Katara blinked. She was certainly feeling something for him… and she would certainly like to sink into another of those hot, melting kisses…
…but this was about marriage… and those weren't good reasons to get married.
"I'm… still thinking."
"Right." Zuko sighed and shut his eyes before pushing away from the wall, away from her.
Katara watched him scuff across the room to his potted plants, dig out a black bundle, and then disappear into the bathroom. As soon as the door closed, she heaved a sigh and, her own feet dragging as she crossed the room, flopped to her back on his bed.
Really, what was a good reason?
Uncle Iroh in the hot springs. Flabby, saggy skin… Blindingly white, untouched by the sun…
Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose as the heat in his body diminished. How stupid could he get? If he wasn't so preoccupied with honor, he would probably be kissing Katara right now.
Then again, if he wasn't so preoccupied with Katara, he wouldn't have been in that mess to start with…
Frustrated in more ways than one, he yanked on his black clothes – which included a new shirt to replace the one that had been torn last night – and slipped the Dao swords onto his back. With a final check to be sure that everything was… as it should be, he stalked out of the bathroom, mask hanging from one hand.
The waterbender was lying on his bed. He fought a silent, vicious war against his imagination.
"Are you ready?" she asked, rising up on her elbows to look at him.
Zuko stared at her for a long moment, then scowled down at the floor, scrubbing one hand roughly through his hair. "Don't… say stuff like that when you're lying there… please?"
Her eyes screwed up in confusion, then widened. She hurriedly stood up. "Oh… sorry. Didn't you, uh…?" She waved a hand at the bathroom.
He looked back up at her, trying to decide whether or not she was making fun of him. He'd been in the other room for less than five minutes; did she really think that was all it took for him? She seemed serious, though, so Zuko just crossed his arms and maintained a dry tone. "No. I did not."
She shuffled from one foot to the other, looking awkward. "I could… go outside for a while or something…"
"No…" The firebender heaved a sigh and rubbed his face with one hand. "It… actually wasn't such a good idea. I was trying to clear my head, but it really would've just made me slow. And I really don't need to be slow, tonight." He pulled the zukin up over his hair and settled the mask in place before looking back up at Katara.
"We're going after Chu Tan."
He could tell by the crinkling of her eyes when the smirk spread across her face.
AN: So, awkward, but not as lemony as some may have hoped for... I originally wanted to do a big sexy voyeuristic thing, but that seemed kind of out of character for Katara. Dunno. What does the world think?