Miranda had taken the results of the scan and locked herself away in her quarters several hours ago leaving behind a perfectly miserable Commander Shepard.
Helen looked down at the younger woman and shook her head, "I can't keep repairing your hands like this. Another episode like that and you might permanently damage them. No more shooting, no more piano." she asserted, bringing out the tough love on the woman who was like a daughter to her.
Shepard just nodded.
"You need to find another way to channel your anger than through your fists. Or actually wear proper protective gear." She looked from the bandaged hands to Shepard's face, she was still pale and far too quiet.
"Yes mum." Shepard murmured and managed a small smile.
Helen sighed, "I can't fix everything, neither can medi-gel. I'm confining you to that bed for two days, any funny business and it'll be longer."
Shepard looked up at her and nodded. For the first time that actually sounded good. Two days not having to worry about saving the universe, mercs attacking some poor sods, Collectors abducting another colony...
An hour later she was bored out of her mind.
Kasumi snuck into the medbay and sat on the bed beside Shepard watching her curiously. Shepard was humming softly under her breath and her toes were tapping the air in time to whatever beat was in her head. It was quite adorable really.
"So what's the song?" she asked with a cheeky grin.
Shepard started and looked to her sharply as she hadn't heard anyone come in.
Kasumi chuckled.
"Nielson's Fifth." Shepard sighed, relaxing and so grateful to finally have some company.
"Ah classical. Didn't peg you as a classical fan." Kasumi grinned and got herself comfortable.
"Miranda didn't either and she spent two years studying me." she sighed, thought's of Miranda were depressing right now.
"So what actually happened with the lovely Miss Lawson? The crew all thinks you punched her out again." Kasumi asked with a sidelong glance at the Commander knowing that Shepard had a thing for the gorgeous Operative Lawson.
"Figures." Shepard frowned, she wasn't sure how Miranda wanted to handle this whether she did want the crew to simply believe that or they'd start questioning her capabilities.
"So did you hit her?" Kasumi pressed, eager to find out the juicy gossip.
"We... had a disagreement." Shepard murmured, "I don't really know what happened." she admitted truthfully as she looked over at Kasumi, "Thanks for taking care of those bugs." she grinned and her eyes twinkled just a little, "You might want to keep a constant vigil in the showers, Massani really is a perverted old man."
Kasumi laughed, "Already found a couple that didn't match Cerberus tech. I may just have to replace them in other places for him. I also cleaned up in here. I'm the best because no one knows my face and I'd like to keep it that way. I figured you'd want a little bit of privacy in your quarters to."
"Appreciate it. So what was your favourite heist?" she asked, hoping to completely change the subject away from Miranda and was pleased as Kasumi began to delve into some of her misadventures in a world that was not as foreign to the ex-Alliance Commander and Spectre as the Master thief imagined.
Being subjected to imprisonment in the medbay had not turned out to be as relaxing as Shepard had first suspected. Sure Kasumi and Garrus came to visit her and Chakwas kept a very close eye on her but in between visitors Shepard's mind had a great deal of time to wander. A significant amount of that wandering time was put into Miranda and now that she wasn't overtaken with rage she was able to think a little more clearly on the matter. She wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse.
Her first thoughts had been that Miranda's father had been the one behind it. After all, he had done everything in his power to get rid of her for interfering with Miranda's progress along his predestined path for her, not that that had gone as he'd planned. But Miranda had left his control long before Persephone had become widely known as Stephanie Shepard. This was significant because Miranda's response when asked who she was, was always instant and came along with her usual repertoire of achievements as though she was reciting a programmed response. That would make it more likely that whatever had been done to her mind had happened after she'd left her father.
But then what reason would the Illusive Man have for such a ploy, I mean it made her an incredible risk taking her on missions as if she triggered a memory response in the midst of a fight the results could be disastrous.
It was making her head hurt.
She just didn't have enough information to make any kind of reasonable, logical conclusion. That worried her more than words could express. Because if someone other than Miranda's father or the Illusive Man had done this did that mean they were being watched by someone else? What possible reason could be had to keep her true identity hidden from Miranda? If it was about love it was incredibly ineffective as if she'd won Miranda's heart once what was to say she couldn't do it again? She could not see any plausible reason for someone to do this.
Then there were the thoughts concerning how she could keep herself from possibly reminding Miranda of her past. The first thing was clearly her eyes. She loved the colour of her eyes, they were so unique and the colour was such a rich, golden amber she'd never seen in anyone else. Changing their colour seemed... necessary but goddess it was going to be just another thing changed about her. At least this one would be voluntary, though it would have to wait until they docked somewhere with a decent med centre. So until then what could she do, wear a visor? Or would drawing attention to the fact she was keeping her eyes hidden from Miranda just make it worse for her?
BAH it was making her head hurt!
Chakwas looked over at the frustrated Commander who'd been rather good at obeying her order to stay in the med bay for a day and a half. She was fidgeting and glowering at her hands like they were despicable to her. It was childishly endearing.
Sensing the doctor's attention Shepard looked up, "Can I go see her? I promise no hitting things, no playing piano and I'll come straight back here."
Chakwas shook her head, "You've got seven hours left, I won't be clearing you for active duty yet and I'm banning you from the punching bag."
"But..." Shepard began to whine.
"No buts! Doctors orders. If you cannot refrain from hating on that poor defenceless bag I'll have it removed." Chakwas was adamant and her blue eyes bore into Shepard's with the superiority of age and the authority of being the ships senior medic.
Shepard sighed, "Alright no more hating on the bag. But seriously it's my hands that are broken not my feet. Look I can even sit up all by myself like a big girl. Can I please go speak with Miranda now?" she asked again.
Chakwas had to fight valiantly to withhold the smile but it still touched the corner of her lips, "You will return here as soon as you are done." she finally relented, she knew to pick her battles with Shepard and it was rare that she actually asked rather than just snuck out.
Shepard was on her feet in a second, "Thanks." she smiled and nodded, very aware of Chakwas eyes following her across the mess. She did make a slight detour to get Miranda a coffee seeing as she hadn't seen her leave her quarters from the view the bed in medbay provided of the mess. Gingerly she touched Miranda's door chime.
"Come in." Miranda's voice acknowledged the request.
Shepard entered to find Miranda at her console with what she imaged was a cold coffee or empty mug.
Miranda was surprised that it had taken Shepard this long to come see her, "How are your hands?" she asked politely.
Shepard shrugged, "Eh, they've had better days. I believe they're still quite upset at me with being beaten into submission as they were." she brought over the coffee and carefully deposited it by Miranda's right hand.
Miranda scowled and shook her head, "I told you to look after your hands. Your recklessness and disregard of your own wellbeing puts everything we're working towards at risk and has put us behind."
Shepard was about to argue she was being a bit melodramatic but she wasn't finished yet.
"It's your responsibility to recruit the specialists and form this squad. We'll be at Korlus in nineteen hours and you are not fit for active duty."
Shepard cocked her head slightly, "So you lead the retrieval team."
Miranda looked startled by that for a brief moment.
Shepard sat down calmly, "Jacob already follows your orders, Massani will follow cos your hot, though you may want him on point or somewhere he's not going to be distracted by your arse." She advised Miranda.
Miranda rolled her eyes and scoffed in annoyance but she could handle men like Massani.
"Kasumi won't be a problem and Garrus will do it because I tell him to. Besides it's generally a bad idea to have both the Commanding Officer and XO groundside on dangerous missions. Picking up a krogan Warlord in a nest of Blue Sun mercs will hardly be a walk in the park." Shepard shrugged, sitting back and looking anywhere but at Miranda.
It took a moment for Miranda to process that and its future consequences, "So when your hands are healed and we're both on active duty one of us will always be remaining behind? Shepard that's absurd. I'm the best you have..." she began to argue heatedly at the thought of being benched.
Shepard interrupted quickly and assertively, "You are the best and I want you to stay the best. In the Alliance either the Captain or XO always remains on the ship to monitor and assess the situation and external influences on it." She looked away and her voice was softer, "There's also the fact that until you're able to figure out what's going on in your brain we can't spend much time together. I will not risk you having an aneurism or something by simply looking at you the wrong way or saying something that will trigger it."
Miranda was silent at that.
Shepard closed her eyes and bowed her head, "I can't lose you again and I trust in your abilities to lead."
Miranda purposefully concentrated on that last half as contemplating the first could trigger another attack, "I appreciate that you trust my abilities but that's beside the point. This is your mission, not mine and taking that mindset will have me confined to the ship unless you're injured as you are now."
"Your job is to make sure I succeed, if I recall correctly." she reminded her with a small smile, "We can do this together." she risked a glance back at Miranda, "Yes it will mean more ship time for you, it will also give you more time to figure out what's in your head. When you do figure it out we'll look at this again. But for now it's a risk to your health that I can minimize."
Miranda took a deep breath. Shepard did make an excellent point. "As long as this doesn't interfere with the mission."
"When you and I take the field together it's a risk to the mission. I have no idea what it is about me that will trigger you other than my eyes. If you were to have an attack like the one in my quarters on the field it could put everyone's life at risk. Which means that the best thing for you to be doing is to fix it and as I may have already said, you're the best there is. Whatever you need Miranda just let me know." Shepard offered her with deep sincerity.
Miranda was a little unsure how to take that. She was so used to thinking of herself as a tool that it was easy for her to dismiss this as Shepard wanting to fix a broken tool to make it more effective again. The emotion behind it, however, felt real, felt as though Shepard was using the mission as an excuse to allow her all the time and resources she needed to get better. "Thank you Shepard." she hesitated for a moment.
"Ask me." Shepard nodded, seeing the hesitation.
She leaned forward, elbows on her desk and face lowered a touch submissively though the subtle manipulation wasn't truly required in this instance, "Two of the dossiers are for specialists on Illium. While we're there Cerberus has some resources I can use to get a better handle on what exactly has been done to my neural pathways so I can work on a strategy to undo this."
"Do it. If you need Jacob for back up or Kasumi to do something sneaky take them with you." Shepard's response was instant. Then she grinned, "By the way, totally saw through that little move there. But very cute."
"Cute?" Miranda's brows rose, no one had called her cute since she was a kid!
Shepard shrugged nonchalantly, "Now Korlus. I want cameras on each of the squad so I can watch you in action. I was thinking one forward one behind so I can yell at you to watch your arse..." she frowned, "And that didn't sound right did it."
Miranda smirked.
Shepard just shook her head, "You know what I mean. It'd also be a good idea to record what we do so we can give the Council their blasted proof." her frown deepened.
Miranda considered it and approved as it would enable her to keep an eye on Shepard when she was the one in the field, "We could also use it to analyse squad tactics. You're an excellent tactician and given that the people we're picking up are those you've never worked with before it will help you plan your strategies."
"I hadn't thought of that. I like it." Shepard cocked her head slightly as she considered that point of view. "Huh, I can come up with a couple good ideas, who'd have thunk it?" she grinned and rose to her feet.
Miranda shook her head at the woman, though she did smile, "Indeed."
"I'll give you tactical advice in the field, but you'll be in charge. Is that suitable?" Shepard went back to business.
"Yes, as long as you realize I'll be giving you tactical advice when you're in the field." Miranda put out there without a second's hesitation.
"Wouldn't have it any other way." Shepard grinned. Then a thought occurred to her, "How do you want to handle what happened? The crew's all whispering that I knocked your lights out again. I... just told Kasumi we had a disagreement but didn't confirm or deny anything more than that." she admitted cautiously.
Miranda took it in stride, "It would be best they thought that. They cannot know about this or they'll question if I'm fit for this position."
Shepard sighed, "Well then I guess I should apologize for hitting you. Any penance you require?" she smirked.
Miranda's thoughts turned devious, "I'll get back to you on that one Commander."
Shepard's grin quickly dropped, "Should I be worried?"
"Depends on how apologetic you are doesn't it." Miranda was smirking now and enjoying the look of slight trepidation on Shepard's face.
"I'm really, really sorry?" Shepard offered with no sincerity whatsoever.
Miranda gave a soft laugh under her breath.
"I'll let you get back to work before Chakwas thinks I've ditched." Shepard grinned, thinking a quick exit was in order.
Miranda frowned, "Did you sneak out?"
"No, I had permission to see you and go straight back." she glanced down at herself, "Wouldn't mind a shower though. Chakwas is releasing me in seven hours..." she sighed.
Miranda nodded to her bathroom, "Have a shower then, I'll get you a change of clothes. And yes I checked it for bugs." she scowled, "You were right."
Shepard kind of wished she wasn't, "Being someone's tool isn't the only way to find purpose in life. I can't give you purpose, but maybe I can help you find it on your own terms and not someone else's." was all she said on the matter before she ducked into the much smaller bathroom than the one in the loft. She didn't care about size, only hot water and to feel clean.
Miranda sat there for a few moments musing over the entire conversation, analysing it in both its segments and entirety. What stood out to her was that Shepard cared. Whoever she was, however they knew each other it had been as friends. The pain stabbed at her and she quickly shut off her thoughts, turning her face away from the bathroom Shepard was currently in. "Damnit." she hissed to herself. Waiting for the worst of it to pass she went up to the loft to get Shepard a change of clothes.
Shepard rubbed her right temple with a scowl at the small throb that began to irritate her. It didn't last long though. Perhaps it was just from being cooped up in the medbay too long.
Have I got you all trained to expect daily updates yet? :)
That said I have to apologize that with Christmas I have interstate rellies coming up for a week meaning updates will continue in the New Year, though I might be able to sneak the next chapter in tomorrow. I've made some significant plot changes to what I've had written before I started posting so from hereon it'll be a couple days between chapters with this story and Voice of the Wardens.
Yeah know this chapter was mostly fluff but fluff needed to set the scene for what's coming up.
Next it's Korlus. How do you think it will go with Miri in charge groundside?
Nightbrainzz: So loving you comment on just about EVERY chapter! Yes I was most definitely channeling Ash in the last one. Three reasons: Liked it in the game. Totally fits Seph. Ash and Seph are/were (as yet undecided) BFF's and though they may not have had 'soft stuff' nights where Seph played her classical stuff and Ash read her poems they did rub off on each other as friends sometimes do. Which will make Horizon very interesting to write, may be quite the defining moment for these two.
Kaiya Smith: I'm so with you on the channelling Darth Vadar so no I hadn't planned on Seph telling her anything more. However, someone else will. Thing is will Miri be ready for it and how pissed will Seph be with them.
Boo: I heartily embrace my sappiness! And figure it can't be too bad if you've ready up to ch 20 ;) Though more action will be on the way as we pick up the squad and really sink our teeth into the story. I kind of feel I've been introducing everyone to the concept and big issues as it is somewhat different to the actual game.
Hessan: I had a look at the end of ch 20 and yes I cringed. I've fixed it up now to make it easier to read, thank you for pointing it out, greatly appreciated. Anything else cringeworthy I'm more than happy to look at it.
To everyone else who's been reviewing thank you so much! I really appreciate the feedback and feel all warm and fuzzy when people actually share they like my story and it inspires me to write more! As HB commands I am off to write Korlus! Will post when I am satisfied it's decent enough for such unbridled desire for more!
Enjoy :)