Rather than do the disclaimer myself, from now on I've decided to get OTHER people to do the disclaimer! First up is Hinata, for…well, no reason in particular, actually.

Hinata: Um…l-lackofname d-doesn't own Z-Zelda or N-Naru…(blushes so hard she passes out)

Oh dear. Lucky thing for me she doesn't appear again for quite a few chapters…

Announcement! EvilFuzzy9 asked me if he could use Kyuubi, the adorable little ball of evil that he is, as a muse – and my answer is, of course! So, just so everyone knows, I not only wouldn't mind letting you use Kyuubi, I'd love it! …You know, as long as I get credit and everything :P That's what disclaimers are for, right?

Now, let's see…this time my thanks goes out to Vixen Kitsune, Fierkraag (who I meant to thank ages ago…), Eagle-Owl (an anonymous reviewer), Komo Pineconeseed and quaddo!

(Is now fanning Hinata) Uh…she'll be okay…cut to the chapter, will you?

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"Say, Kyuubi…" Naruto began thoughtfully, sprawled out on the marble white floor. The kitsune looked at him strangely, but complied.

"Kyuubi," he blinked. "So…any particular reason you told me to say my name?"

Naruto swatted him out of the air. "You didn't let me finish, dattebayo," he chided half-heartedly. "I was just going to ask…why are we back at the Temple of Time?"

Kyuubi brought himself back to a lazy hover, scowling at his charge for knocking him down. "Every time you save and turn off the power, your location is lost to programming," he replied languidly. "To make their job easier, the programmers just made you warp back here every time you turn the game back on."

Naruto blinked, confused. "Oh," he said uncertainly. "Okay…that makes sense." Even as the words left his mouth, he only looked more and more perplexed.

"Besides, it's a useful little plot device to get you back here so you can talk to him," Kyuubi jerked a thumb back behind him. Naruto could see Haku, who was quite clearly waiting for him patiently. Well, sort of patiently. He was throwing needles at the wall in boredom, slowly forming an accurate picture of the Triforce.

"Oh," Naruto got to his feet and began walking over. He looked back at Kyuubi. "Uh, aren't you coming?"

"Nope," he responded simply. Naruto hesitated for a moment, as if expecting the fairy to catch up to him, but when he did no such thing the blonde simply shrugged and kept going.

"Hello, Naruto," Haku said, throwing his final needle. It stuck in the wall, creating the top point of the legendary symbol. "I've been waiting for you. Waiting for a long, long time." He emphasised the 'long', narrowing his eyes – not that they were visible behind his mask, anyway. "What the hell were you doing?"

"Apparently, I saved and turned off the game," Naruto answered, trying to keep the bewilderment out of his voice. Haku nodded in understanding.

"That makes sense. Sorry to have snapped at you, then." He brought out his harp and began to speak in the manner of one delivering a speech – in other words, dully and practically monotone. "You destroyed the wicked creatures that haunted the temple and awakened the Sage, but there are still other Sages who need your help. In order to awaken all the other Sages, you must become even more powerful."

"So having a powerful, legendary sword that's supposedly blessed by the Goddesses isn't enough," Naruto said, the faintest hint of joking sarcasm in his voice. Haku nodded.

"Exactly."

Naruto's jaw dropped and he whined, "Oh, come on! I was kidding!"

"You must travel over mountains, under water, and even through time to truly become stronger," Haku informed him. "In order to go back in time, return the Master Sword to it's pedestal. This will take you back in time…seven years back in time."

"I still don't believe it was actually seven years," Naruto declared decisively. Haku coughed lightly.

"There will be a time when you need to return here quickly, so I must teach you the song to return you to this Temple. It's called the Prelude of Light, which doesn't actually make sense. Usually, the song is named after whatever Temple it is, but since any song like it would be ripping off the Song of Time, they decided on light instead."

"Good to know," Naruto nodded, taking out his Ocarina.

Haku plucked out a simple tune on his harp, and the blonde mimicked it. The two played along with each other, until the light melody faded away. Haku tucked his harp away.

"The Minuet of the Forest was cooler," Naruto snorted, putting the Ocarina into his kunai pouch. Haku nodded in agreement.

"It doesn't matter how cool the song is, though," he reminded. "I taught it to you to serve a purpose."

"Why don't you just teach me all the warp songs I need right now?" Naruto inquired. Haku hesitated, eyes shifting.

"Uh…there is a time and a place for everything. I cannot teach you the songs until the time is right," he read off a cue card, being held up by the new stagehand, Iruka. Iruka smiled and gave Haku a thumbs-up. Naruto looked at Haku, then at the cue card, then back at Haku.

"You people actually prepared what would happen if I asked that?" he raised his eyebrows. Haku paused.

"…No," he answered finally. "No, we did not."

"You know," Naruto said suspiciously, taking a step towards Haku, "I think you're just trying to make things harder for me. You are a non-playable character, after all…"

"No, I'm here to help you," Haku insisted. "I should be going…"

"Wait a second!" Naruto protested, but recoiled in time to shield his eyes when Haku pelted a cool flashy Sheikah thing at the ground. Naruto swore and stomped his way back to Kyuubi, who, by all appearances, hadn't even moved since Naruto had left.

"You won't believe -"

"Yeah, yeah, heard every word," Kyuubi waved a hand dismissively. "I think the real issue is, will Martha ever realize that Diego is cheating on her? The whole baby issue is just meant to get us riled up, but they won't be getting back to it for another ten episodes."

"…What are you talking about?" Naruto frowned.

Kyuubi looked caught, and intelligently retorted, "No, what are you talking about?"

Naruto blinked. "I…uh…what was I talking about?" he pondered.

Kyuubi smirked and flitted out of the Temple, singing softly, "I feel witty…oh so witty…"

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Naruto looked around the ghost city that was once…well, fairly lively. A bit. I mean, there were at least people around before. Well, not people, but Gorons. Wait…that was rude, sorry. Gorons are people too.

Anyway, Naruto took a few hesitant steps into Goron city, the upbeat background music seeming out of place among the relatively still city. The giant spinning statue in the middle of the floor was gone, as were the Gorons that had once been scattered pointlessly around. The only movement was that of a gold Skulltula clinging to the platform in the middle of the room, and a tiny Goron curled up into a ball and rolling around inanely.

Kyuubi blew into Naruto's ear loudly. Naruto yelped and jumped back, glaring at the fairy accusingly. Kyuubi merely shrugged. "You know how in western movies when the hero enters a ghost town, hay or dust will roll across the screen with a big gust of wind?"

"That was blowing into my ear, Kyuubi," Naruto narrowed his eyes. "There's a big difference."

"Just trying to capture that feeling," Kyuubi threw up his hands in defence. "Can't blame a guy for liking western movies…"

Naruto shook his head and began searching for a staircase leading down a floor. "The only Goron around seems to be that little one rolling around, so we should probably find a way to stop him from rolling."

"If I remember correctly from your younger days," Kyuubi mused, stroking his chin, "you were able to stop the giant Goron from rolling by setting a bomb in his way. The bomb went off, the Goron would be miraculously unharmed, and he'd stop rolling long enough to talk to you."

Naruto gave Kyuubi a strange look. "I never did anything like that when I was younger," he frowned. Kyuubi shrugged.

"You might've," he said evasively. "Maybe in the near future you'll go back to the past and do it just so I have that knowledge right now, because right now will be in the future and we'll know what to do in the future 'cause you did it in the past."

The blonde visibly reeled, halting to go over that in his mind. Kyuubi waited patiently. After a minute, Naruto opened his mouth and said simply, "I don't get it."

"Didn't expect you to, twerp," Kyuubi clapped a hand on his head. It wasn't a comforting gesture; Kyuubi used the hand to drag himself effortlessly over and nestled in the green hat on his charge's head.

Naruto watched the small Goron roll by. "Can I try a different method?"

"Does it look like I really care?" Kyuubi snorted. Naruto rolled his eyes up and shrugged helplessly.

"I don't know, I can't see you," he replied. Kyuubi rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Do whatever the hell you want, twerp," he said slowly. "All I care right now is that I don't have to do anything."

Naruto simply kicked the Goron as he began to roll by again. He did, indeed, stop rolling.

"Good work, kid," Kyuubi drawled. "You managed to find another way around the laws of gaming."

"You weren't supposed to do that!" a tinny, familiar voice said angrily. "You were supposed to stop my rolling with a bomb! That way is harder!"

"Yeah, I know," Naruto shrugged. "But my way is faster."

The Goron made a faint sound of disgust before yelling, "How could you do this to me? You must be Ganondorf's servant! Now, hear my name and tremble!"

The Goron uncurled, springing energetically to his feet and posing. "I am Link, hero of the Gorons!"

Naruto blinked. "Konohamaru, what are you doing here?" he sounded annoyed.

"Hey!" Konohamaru grinned. "Why wouldn't I be here? I'm a character in the series, too, you know. Not to mention that I'm adorable, and I get the most screen time out of all the little kid characters!"

"Can't argue with that, twerp," Kyuubi piped up.

"So, who are you?" Konohamaru inquired. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"You know who I am," Naruto sighed. Kyuubi hit him lightly. "Fine…my name is Naruto Uzumaki, the Hero of Time!" he gave the screen a cheesy grin.

"Wait…your name is Naruto?" Konohamaru gasped melodramatically. "Then you must be the legendary Dodongo buster and hero, Naruto! I was named after you because you're so brave!"

Naruto blinked, and Kyuubi sniggered. The blonde gave Konohamaru a strange look. "Uh…Link of the Gorons doesn't even sound remotely like Naruto. How were you named after me?"

"My dad told me I was named after you, so it must be true!" Konohamaru insisted. "My dad is Darunia! Remember him?"

"Oh, ero-sennin," Naruto muttered. "That explains it."

"You're a real hero to us Gorons!" Konohamaru said excitedly, pulling out a pen and paper. "Can I have your autograph?"

Naruto looked flattered. "Well, sure," he said, puffing out his chest a bit. Grinning, he whispered to Kyuubi, "You should have a kid like this around. It really boosts your ego, you know?"

"I already have you, twerp," Kyuubi muttered back. "That's good enough for my ego. You never fail to make me feel intelligent."

"Oh," Naruto nodded in understanding. Kyuubi held his breath.

"Wait for it…"

"Hey!"

"Okay!" Konohamaru interrupted, pushing the pen and paper into Naruto's hands. "Sign it, 'To my friend and superior, Link of the Gorons'."

"Sure!" Naruto began to write cheerfully, before frowning. "Hold on – since when are you my superior?"

"I have a trailer," Konohamaru stated matter-of-factly. Naruto cursed and went back to writing. While this was going on, something rather disturbing had occurred to Kyuubi.

"Say, mini-twerp," he said slowly. "Uh…who's your mommy?"

Naruto froze and looked up. "Hey, yeah! Last I heard there were no female Gorons." He dropped his voice to a dark mutter. "If I find out ero-sennin has been anywhere near my Sexy no Jutsu…"

"Dad says my mothers are the Goddesses," Konohamaru grinned. Kyuubi gaped.

"What?" he shrieked. "Excuse me for one minute!" he flew outside before either boy could blink.

Outside, Kyuubi began grilling the Goddesses. "Okay, who gave birth to the Goron brat?" he asked impatiently. "Hold on, how would that even work? Din, I bet it was you, wasn't it? You had a thing for the big Goron guy last I checked!"

The sky flashed scarlet. "Oh, that is so over," Din retorted. "Honestly, Kyuubi, I never took you as the naïve type."

"Really, Kyuubi," Farore chimed in, "I can't believe you'd get so jealous over something a little kid said!"

"Jealous?" Kyuubi sputtered. "I'm far from it! I just want to know which of you I can blame for cursing me with a second brat to temporarily baby-sit, and this one has a bad case of hero worship!"

"Relax, Kyuu!" Din cooed. "What Darunia meant when he told his kid that was that we used our omnipotence to magically produce a Goron child."

"We figured, hey, we haven't done anything for the Gorons in a while," Farore added, "and we kind of needed to make up for the Bomb Flower incident thirteen years ago."

"What's the Bomb Flo – actually, never mind, I don't want to know," Kyuubi waved a hand. "And don't call me Kyuu!"

"But it makes you sound cute!" Din gushed. "Anyway, speaking of cute, there are two little protégés inside going through a huge long explanation, and I'm sure you don't want to miss it."

"Actually, I really, really do," Kyuubi grumbled. The sky returned to normal and Kyuubi sighed, drifting back inside.

"…There was an evil dragon named Volvagia living in this mountain," Konohamaru was saying. "That dragon was very scary! He ate Gorons! But then, using a huge hammer, the hero of the Gorons... BOOOM!" Konohamaru threw his arms up for emphasis. The kitsune yawned and settled himself back on Naruto's head.

"Oh joy," he said dully, "the explanation's only just started. I was simply terrified that I'd missed something."

Konohamaru gave him a dirty look. "As I was saying," he said pointedly, "The hero destroyed it just like that. This is a myth from long ago, but it's true! I know, because my dad is a descendant of the hero!"

"If it's a true myth, kid, it's called history," Kyuubi pointed out. Naruto shushed him.

"So, what happened to the Gorons then?"

"Everyone was taken to the Fire Temple," Konohamaru said solemnly, sniffling slightly. "Ganondorf's followers took them all away when Dad was out doing research."

"Doing research?" Naruto repeated suspiciously. Konohamaru nodded.

"He does research for his 'side job' sometimes," he told him, making quotation marks with his fingers when he said 'side job'. "He goes up to the top of the mountain for a few hours. That's what Dad says."

Naruto's eyes narrowed to slits. "I'm going to kill him," he ground out. "Top of the mountain…I'll bet…"

"Dad said that Ganondorf revived Volvagia, and he'll feed all the Gorons to him to scare everyone else into obeying him!" Konohamaru's lip quivered dangerously. "He went to the Fire Temple all alone to save everyone…but you have to go, Naruto!"

"Why?" Naruto whined, wrinkling his nose.

"Because you're the hero, duh," Konohamaru rolled his watering eyes. "You'll do it, right?"

"Yeah, I'll do it," Naruto said, looking sympathetic. Konohamaru brightened.

"Great! Then I'm allowed to give you this!" he brought out a duplicate of Naruto's sweat suit, only it was bright red. "It's heat-resistant, so you'll be able to survive in the Fire Temple like the Gorons can!"

'You got an item!' music played as Naruto accepted it. He gave the screen an odd look.

"What is it now, twerp?" Kyuubi sighed. Naruto put a hand up to block the screen, trying to wave it away.

"Don't watch me change!" he exclaimed. "Go away!"

Kyuubi also looked at the screen and made a slashing movement across his throat. "You heard the kid," he said, waving the camera aside, "cut the camera!"

There were some muffled curses and disappointed groans, and then the screen went blank.

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The screen was black.

"You idiot, you left the lens cap on," an irritated voice said. There was some muffled background noise.

"Give me a break, I'm security detail, not a camera man!" Genma said defensively.

"Do you want some help with that?" Iruka offered.

"No, I think I got it…" the blackness disappeared and the screen showed Genma polishing the lens thoroughly. "There we go! How's the feed, Raidou? …Good? Okay!" he gave Kyuubi, who was impatiently tapping his foot on screen, a thumbs-up. "We're good to go!"

"Alright," the fairy exhaled. "Twerp, you can come out now."

Naruto peeked his head out hesitantly. Seeing that the camera was finally up and working, he paused only for a second before exiting. "I think it looks stupid," he complained.

"Twerp, it's identical to your last outfit, only red," Kyuubi rolled his eyes. "It also comes with the bonus of being able to not fry in the Fire Temple. Quit bitching about it."

"Watch your language!" Naruto chided. "There are children present."

Konohamaru rolled his eyes. "My dad swears a lot more than that. Can I just say the rest of what I have to say? My masseuse is due in my trailer in ten minutes, and I don't want to miss an appointment."

"You get a masseuse?" Naruto squeaked. "That is so unfair…"

"The secret entrance to the Fire Temple is behind the big statue in my dad's room," Konohamaru ignored Naruto's indignant squeaking. "Oh, and the Goron shop keeper is hiding around here somewhere."

"I thought you said all the Gorons were captured," Kyuubi raised an eyebrow.

"That's why he's hiding," There was an unspoken 'duh' on the end of Konohamaru's sentence. "Good luck!"

"Alright then," Kyuubi grabbed Naruto's now-red hat. "We'll get going, then."

"Can you believe he gets a masseuse?" Naruto whispered furiously. Kyuubi rolled his eyes and began dragging Naruto down by his ear, with the blonde protesting in pain all the way down.

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Steam rose up from the piping hot sea of magma, curling up through the opening of the mountain into the dark sky above, peppered with stars. Reddish rock formed large hills and platforms; at least, in the glow of the lava, the rocks looked red. By some lucky coincidence, some bridges had been built, along with Hookshot targets.

Naruto's brow creased. "You know, Kyuubi, we haven't had a gimmick this chapter," he pointed out, turning to the fairy. At least where he thought he was. Kyuubi blended in almost perfectly with the glowing red background.

The kitsune beat his fragile wings faster, producing a buzzing noise that made it obvious where he was. Naruto turned in the opposite direction to face him.

"That is odd," Kyuubi frowned. "Should we feel suspicious?"

"One second," Naruto held up a finger. "Iruka-sensei!"

The background froze and Iruka popped his head on screen. "Yes?" he asked politely.

"Can you ask the director if there's going to be a gimmick this chapter?" Naruto requested. "I mean, we're kind of far in, so we want to know if there is one so we can cram it in the last few pages."

Kyuubi was about to correct his charge when he was nudged covertly. With a slight nod, the kitsune held his tongue. This was difficult for him, having no mouth and no hands, and a rather slippery tongue.

"I'd be glad to," Iruka said cheerfully. "In the meantime, carry on. I'll get right back here with the director's answer."

The screen began moving again and Naruto did as instructed. He began to walk along the bridge when out of nowhere, someone dropped down in front of him.

"AH! It's Spiderman!" Naruto shielded himself. Haku dragged a hand down his face and Kyuubi rolled his eyes.

"It's not Spiderman, twerp," he sighed.

"Who else can drop down from the sky from wires that seemingly don't attach to anything?" Naruto responded smartly. Haku coughed.

"Uh, it's me," he said unnecessarily. "And I didn't drop down from wires. I just…dropped down."

"The twerp raises a fair question, though," Kyuubi frowned. "How?"

Haku froze. "Uh…I'm a Sheikah. Bask in the mystery of my actions."

Naruto nodded. "Oh, okay. Do you have another speech?"

"Yes," Haku sighed, bringing out his harp and strumming his fingers down it, playing his theme. "It is something that grows over time; a true friendship, a feeling in the heart that becomes stronger over time. The passion of friendship will soon blossom into a righteous power, and through it, you will know which way to go. This song is dedicated to the power of the heart..."

"That was beautiful," Naruto wiped his eyes. Kyuubi, though, raised his hand slightly.

"Uh, exactly what do you mean by 'the passion of friendship'?"

"I don't know," Haku shook his head. "Truthfully, I don't want to know. That was in the original script, though, so we kept it in. Now, I have to teach you the Bolero of Fire."

Haku, as was routine, plucked out the tune, and Naruto copied it. This time, though, when they broke into their duet, the screen showed some crazy angles as they played, and the music was more noticeable as it went on, rather than just trail off into a few really long, drawn-out notes.

Naruto lowered his Ocarina. "Cool!" he said enthusiastically.

Haku put the harp away. "Yeah, that's probably the coolest warp song I have to teach you. The rest are kind of boring, unless you like flighty, pretty songs."

Naruto grimaced. "Oh well. At least the Bolero is cool…"

"Well, seeing me twice in one chapter seems like enough," Haku waved. "I guess I'll be going now." He threw a cool flashy Sheikah thing and disappeared.

"Oh, Naruto!" Iruka came back on screen. "I have the director's answer. Turns out there was supposed to be a gimmick, but it wasn't delivered on time."

Naruto's eyes went wide. "Oh, no…"

Kyuubi threw back his head, foaming at the mouth and snarling. Naruto inched away from him slowly. Iruka looked extremely concerned.

"Um…is he okay?" he inquired fretfully.

"Don't worry about him, worry about us!" Naruto said hastily. "I think I'll go down to the ramen stand…"

"I'll go with you," Iruka piped up quickly. Kyuubi's eyes grew bloodshot as he snorted angrily, spitting and babbling, screaming a single word repetitively at the sky.

"POSTMAN!"

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…Which is why we no longer have our gimmicks delivered.

Next up is the Fire Temple, where we re-meet Darunia/Jiraiya and several random Gorons. Chapter after that is Volvagia. BUT! There's something more important to say!

WE'VE REACHED THE HALFWAY MARK! WOO HOO! Chapter 21 is complete, and there are 21 chapters to go!

…Told you we were in for a long ride.