Genesis and Sephiroth looked up. Tseng towered in front of them like a Tsunami. In one fluid motion, the Turk ripped his shirt off and brought his arm crashing down on Sephiroth's shoulder, with the force of a raging river (and indeed, his muscles rippled).
"The time has arrived, silver-haired heffalump! We fight to the death!"
(A/N: I realise that 'heffalump' doesn't quite fit the tone, but I wanted something alliterative to convey Tseng's grace and poise)
Sephiroth slid his fingers under Tseng's gripping hand and levered it off, gritting his teeth with effort and pain. Although Tseng hadn't quite managed to break Sephiroth's collar bone, it had been a close one.
"Hey!" said Genesis. "Make love, not war!"
The two men ignored him. Sephiroth surged to his feet, and he and Tseng started circling around each other, pacing like bulls in a field. Sephiroth's jockstrap gleamed menacingly.
"You'll regret this," the silver general warned. "You're not mako-infused. You'll fall in a second."
Tseng smirked, silent for a moment. "A second just passed."
"A metaphorical second."
"How long is that?"
"How long is a piece of string?" snarled Sephiroth.
"Longer than the circumference of your throat!" With that, Tseng leapt forward and looped something around Sephiroth's neck before Seph had time to dodge. Seph felt a stroking motion, looked down, and realised, to his horror, that Tseng had managed to loop a piece of assassinatory fibrewire around his windpipe. It was a thin, super-strong string, and as Tseng started to pull and Sephiroth started to choke, Sephiroth remembered his SOLDIER instructor, Zangan, teaching him that such fibrewire was capable of strangling the average man in seconds.
But Sephiroth was not your average man...
.
Cloud woke up. Eyes fluttering open, he found he was tied to a table with thick, fetish-tastic leather belts.
"Ah... my pretty little darling is awake at last..."
Cloud blinked. The voice was soft and feminine, with a clawed edge. It reminded him of velcro. He tried to turn his head to see who spoke, but he was held back by the studded collar around his neck. He realised that his chocobo underwear had been removed.
"I'm going to arouse you," said the voice. "I love my boys virginal and unconsenting."
Cloud saw a large red feather creep across his thigh, held in a black leather glove. He still couldn't see who it was that wore the glove.
"N-no," he mumbled. "T-Tifa..."
"Shut up!" One gloved hand slapped Cloud across the face. "You're mine now! I saved your life! The least you can do is give me sex! That's how it works!"
Cloud whimpered, feeling himself get aroused despite himself.
"It's okay," continued the voice. "I won't bite, or do any of the other weird stuff. I'm not Sephiroth. It's just that my wrinkly old vagina is thirsty."
Cloud's captor sat on top of him, and he finally saw that it was Scarlet.
.
Angeal planted some marigolds. Anything to take his mind off the lusting.
.
A/N: Please read and review! Thank-kyuuuuuuu! ^_^