I know, so quick of me ;D I'm just super happy now that Sirius knows about his feelings ;)
CRIMINALS
Fake Dates
"GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY WAKE UP!"
Sirius groaned and rolled over in his bed, trying to block out the sounds.
"WAKEY WAKEY! IT'S MORNING!"
Sirius pulled the duvet up over his head and tightened it around his ears. His bed was so warm and it was too early. He didn't want to get up. He heard the curtains open and then the covers were wrenched out of his hands on onto the floor.
"WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!"
Sirius opened his eyes and glared up at James, who was unusually chipper for the morning.
"I'm awake," Sirius said.
"THEN GET UP!"
Sirius folded his arms and didn't move. Without warning, he felt hands on his arm and next minute he was on the floor with his duvet.
"That was rude," Sirius said, standing up and throwing his duvet back on his bed. He glanced around the room and noticed Remus and Peter were also awake and also looking annoyed.
"Why are you all so down? It's Valentine's Day!"
"What are you, Prongs? A five-year-old girl?" Sirius said, dodging out of the way of an incoming punch from James.
"I'm a man who's about to get lucky," James grinned.
"It's funny how he thinks he's a man," Peter murmured. "He's the only one of us that hasn't grown any facial hair yet."
"HEY!" James pouted. "At least when I get my facial hair, it won't be blond, Wormy."
Peter self-consciously covered up the little blond tuft of hair that was growing from his chin. Remus sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed.
"What're you doing, Remus? It's Valentine's Day – get up and help me get my Lily-kins!"
"James, can I have a word?" Remus said. "Alone?"
"Er, sure," James said, glancing at Sirius in confusion. Sirius tried to make eye contact with Remus to tell him 'NO' but Remus wasn't looking at him. James and Remus headed into the bathroom and closed the door.
"Wonder what that's about?" Peter asked.
"I hope it's not what I think," Sirius said. "Otherwise… well that could end badly."
"You got any plans for today?" Peter asked, fishing in his bedside table for a bar of chocolate.
"Not really, how about you?"
"I'm going to ask Shannon Bowler out, from Hufflepuff," Peter said proudly, grinning with chocolatey teeth.
"Ew," Sirius said.
"I know, sorry. I'll brush my teeth after," Peter said quickly.
"I meant…ew," Sirius said. "About Bowler. You are talking about spotty snotty Shannon aren't you?"
"Yes," Peter said. "I mean, that's unfair. She's spotty, but so am I. She isn't snotty, she just has a bad immune system so she sneezes a lot."
"Hm, if you say so," Sirius said, conscious not to be judgemental over who Peter fancied – after all he himself fancied his own brother. He wasn't in a place to judge others.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, REMUS!"
Sirius and Peter both jumped at the muffled-but-still-loud outburst from the bathroom.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
"YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!"
"WELL MAYBE I LOVE HER TOO!"
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!"
"WHAT'S NOT FAIR IS YOU THINKING YOU OWN HER. SHE LIKES ME AND I ONLY SAID NO TO HER BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MATE!"
There was silence, as Sirius and Peter stood frozen – Peter with his chocolate bar inches from his half-open mouth.
The door opened, and James stormed out with a face like thunder. He turned around to face Remus.
"Not anymore. Go fuck yourself," he spat, and walked out of the dormitory, slamming the door shut behind him.
Remus walked out of the bathroom a minute after, looking shaken. He had his fists balled up at his side and Sirius had never seen him look so angry in his life. This was Remus – he didn't get angry.
"What a twat," Sirius said, trying to break the tension. "He was in the wrong, Remus."
"Yeah," Peter said, holding out his half-eaten chocolate bar for Remus. "I don't really get what happened but I'm with Sirius. You did nothing wrong."
"Thanks," Remus muttered, grabbing the chocolate bar and biting into it without a second thought. "I mean, how selfish can he be?"
"I think he's just mad and doesn't know what to do about it," Sirius said. "I'm sure he'll calm down and apologise."
"He better, because I'm not apologising," Remus said quickly.
"That's understandable," Sirius replied. "Shall we go down?"
"You guys go," Remus said. "I have work to catch up on anyway."
"Are you sure?" Sirius asked.
"I'll leave you some chocolate," Peter said, taking a couple of bars out of his chest of drawers and handing them to Remus.
Remus smiled a little and nodded. "I'll be fine, thank you."
Sirius smiled back and headed to the bathroom to get dressed.
The Great Hall was filled with chatter and excitement. Sirius took his usual place next to James. James grunted and continued waffling his food down his throat.
Peter glanced at Sirius, who lightly nudged James.
"Huh?" James answered, milk spilling out of his cereal-filled mouth.
"Oh Prongs," Sirius said, shaking his head. "Acting like this won't impress Evans at all."
James snorted and wiped his mouth. He swallowed and then glared at Sirius. "Don't talk to me about Lily bloody Evans."
Peter flinched at James's tone and shrunk back a little in his seat. Sirius sighed. "It's Valentine's Day."
"Who gives a damn about Valentine's Day?" James asked. "Not me."
"Tell that to the guy that literally dragged me out of bed for the occasion," Sirius pointed out.
"Well I can't- I can't bloody… just, argh!" James slammed his fist down on the table, knocking over Peter's drink. "I can't have her now, can I?"
"Of course you can," Sirius said.
"No, I can't."
"Better that she gets with Remus than Snape, anyway," James muttered. "I would be the better choice though, obviously."
"She's not with anyone," Peter piped up.
"Yeah, mate," Sirius said. "She isn't with anyone. Just be passive and wait for her to come to you."
"And what if she doesn't?" James whined, looking heart-broken.
"Then, there are plenty more fish in the sea," Sirius said with a confident nod.
Just then, the owls flew in with an unusual amount of mail. Valentine's cards. Sirius grinned. He scanned the Slytherin table for Regulus but he wasn't there. Sirius frowned. He must still be in the hospital wing.
"Sirius, you've got more Valentine's cards than the rest of the Gryffindor table put together," Peter said, looking annoyed. "I didn't even get one."
"I got one," James said, opening the card. "Oh, listen to this. Hi James, happy Valentine's Day. Maybe you'll consider going out with me. Love, Marlene."
James ripped up the card and tossed it on the floor.
Sirius was well aware of Marlene glaring at James from down the table. Sirius picked up his pile of cards.
He opened each one and read.
'Dearest Sirius,
I don't think we've ever talked and I know you're interested in guys but I am in love with you.
Please be my valentine!
Love from, Sophie'
Sirius snorted.
'Sirius Black,
I love you. Be mine.
Dorcas Meadowes'
Sirius raised his eyebrows and glanced at Dorcas who was giggling away with her friends.
'Sirius,
I love you man. Thanks for being my best mate.
James'
Sirius nudged James and grinned. "Thanks for the card, babe."
"No problem, honey," James replied with the smallest trace of a smile.
'To Sirius,
Happy Valentine's Day. Maybe you'll consider going out with me?
Love, Marlene'
Sirius showed James the card and he rolled his eyes. "I wonder how many other people she sent that to?"
"Not me, anyway," Peter groaned, looking upset.
"Sorry man," Sirius said, hastily putting his cards away to look at later. "I'm just going to go and see how my brother is doing."
"Okay," James and Peter said in unison. Sirius got up and strolled towards the door of the Great Hall, ignoring all the winks and dreamy stares that were following him.
When Sirius reached the hospital wing, he noticed that Regulus was sleeping. He looked so peaceful. Sirius smiled at him and sat down next to him. The Valentine's Day card that Sirius had sent was with the owl that was sitting on the bedside table waiting for him to wake up.
Sirius poked Regulus's arm, and the younger boy's eyes fluttered open almost instantly. He blinked and took in his surroundings and then noticed Sirius and sat up quickly.
"I'm still in here?" he muttered unenthusiastically.
"Well, you did kinda shatter your ribs," Sirius said.
Regulus rolled his eyes.
"You have mail," Sirius said, nodding at the owl. Regulus turned and frowned at the owl. Realisation hit him and he grabbed the card and shooed the bird away.
"It's Valentine's Day, isn't it?" Regulus said.
"Yup."
"Crap. I have a card?" Regulus asked, sounding shocked.
"Yup. Open it!"
Regulus stared at the card like it would bite his head off. Hesitantly, he opened up the envelope and pulled out the card. He looked at the pictures on the front and Sirius saw him smile a little bit. He opened up the card and started reading.
Sirius's heart was pounding loud in his chest. Regulus was reading something Sirius had written about how much he loved him. Remus's words echoed in Sirius's head. "BAD IDEA."
Regulus's cheeks turned pink and he closed the card with a smile.
"Has someone got an admirer?" Sirius teased.
"Nooo," Regulus said quickly. "Well… maybe…"
Sirius grinned at him. "You're all embarrassed now."
"Shut up," Regulus said, trying to stop himself from smiling but failing. "Fine, I've never had a secret admirer before, okay? I know you have millions so it's not a big deal for you, but this is my first."
Sirius couldn't comprehend why on Earth Regulus had never had a secret admirer before. He had to be the most wonderful, amazing – not to mention sexy – person on the planet.
I did not think he was sexy. Oh man.
"I'm glad," Sirius said. "It's nice to see you smiling again."
Regulus's smile grew bigger and he shook his head. "Huh, who'd've thought? Wait till my friends hear. They'll be so proud. So how many did you get?"
"Loads," Sirius shrugged.
"Any from the guy?"
"Guy?"
"The guy," Regulus said. "Come on, don't act dumb."
"Nope, not that I've read yet. I only read a few," Sirius said. He knew he shouldn't ask, but he did. "So, er… any leads on that yet?"
"On who 'The Guy' is?" Regulus asked.
"Yeah…"
"A few," Regulus said. "I have a little list going on."
Oh crap.
"You've given me quite a lot to go on. He's a guy, for sure. He goes to Hogwarts, obviously. There's only, what – five guys to a house, and four houses to a year. So there are twenty guys in a year. One hundred and forty guys to work it out from."
"Idiot," Sirius muttered.
"Plus, I can cross a lot of those guys off the list – like first, second and third years. Unless you're really creepy," Regulus said.
"Why weren't you in Ravenclaw?" Sirius asked.
"The Sorting Hat wanted to put me there," Regulus said. "I've never told anyone before. I was so scared of what mum and dad would say, I begged it to put me in Slytherin. Apparently Ravenclaw would have been perfect for me."
Sirius smiled. He could imagine Regulus as a Ravenclaw. He would fit in perfectly. And the blue, oh the blue….
He'd look so SO hot in blue…
"Mister Black, you have been discharged," Madame Pomfrey said. "Just take it easy, alright?"
"Woohoo!" Regulus grinned, throwing the covers off himself and getting up. "I'm free!" He held his hand out and Sirius high-fived him. "Shall we go do something?"
This was better than Sirius had expected. "Sure," he smiled.
They found themselves in Hogsmeade an hour later. Sirius couldn't help himself from imagining them on a date. The only difference would be that Sirius would be holding his hand.
He hated himself for being so perverse. If only Regulus could hear what he was thinking…
"I want to get some sweets," Regulus said, nodding towards Honeydukes. "Can we go in?"
"Of course," Sirius replied, following him. "What would you like? I'll buy."
Regulus turned and shook his head. "That's alright, Sirius. I have money."
"I want to," Sirius said. "Please?"
"Well, if you insist," Regulus said, shrugging. He picked up various chocolate bars and lollypops and every variety of sweet that he could find.
"Looks like you've got a sweet tooth," Sirius commented. "Trying to turn into Wormtail, are we?"
Regulus looked confused. "Wormtail?"
"I mean my friend, Peter," Sirius said.
"It wouldn't hurt to put on a bit of weight," Regulus said. "I mean, I am like a stick."
Sexiest stick I've ever seen.
"You don't need to gain weight," Sirius said. "Just exercise and get more muscular. Maybe you can impress your secret admirer."
Aka, me. I wouldn't mind seeing your muscles.
"I wonder who it is?" Regulus said. "I never really talk to anyone. I know – don't give me that look – I'm a loner. I never see anyone staring or anything."
Because you're so adorably oblivious to how perfect you are.
They headed to the till and Sirius paid for everything. When they left the shop Regulus thanked him and they walked around for a bit.
Sirius felt himself blushing furiously when he saw Remus, and saw Remus's expression change when he noticed who Sirius was with.
Crap, he knows, and he probably thinks we're on a date.
Remus walked towards them and Sirius straightened up, trying to act normal.
"Hey," Sirius said.
"Hi," Remus replied, nodding to Regulus and then looking back at Sirius with a knowing expression.
"So you left the room?" Sirius asked.
"Yeah. I thought I'd come down to get some things from Honeydukes and then eat them all while I mope," Remus said with a shrug. "What are you two doing here?"
"Just shopping," Sirius said quickly. "Neither of us have dates, so…"
"I see," Remus replied, glancing between them again. Sirius wished he would stop. He was making it too obvious. "You feeling better?" he asked Regulus.
"Oh," Regulus said. "I… yeah. Much better, thanks."
"Good. You took a nasty hit," Remus said.
"Yeah," Regulus laughed. "I can't even remember it really."
"Well, I should get going. Sirius, can I talk to you alone quickly?" Remus asked.
"I'll just wait by The Three Broomsticks," Regulus said quickly, walking away and leaving them alone.
"What are you doing?" Remus demanded as soon as Regulus was out of ear-shot.
"What are you doing?" Sirius asked. "You're making it so bloody obvious!"
"What are you doing out on a date with him on Valentine's Day?" Remus asked, ignoring Sirius.
"It isn't a date!" Sirius hissed.
"It so it," Remus replied. "How much of that did you buy for him?" he asked, pointing at the bag from Honeydukes.
"All of it," Sirius said. "But that doesn't mean anything. He doesn't even know I like him."
"Mmm, he probably does now," Remus smirked. "You took him out to Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day and bought him stuff, and now you're going to the Three Broomsticks? Very romantic."
"Whatever," Sirius said. "Maybe it's a date. He just doesn't need to know that."
Remus shook his head with a smile. "Did he get your card?"
"Yeah," Sirius grinned. "He was happy."
"Sirius, I don't want you to get hurt," Remus said quietly. "I know you're in love with him, but I'm sure you know as well as I that it's a difficult situation, and it probably won't end well for you."
"I know," Sirius said, suddenly feeling depressed. Remus was right, of course.
"Just be careful, okay? You don't want to lose him. He is your brother," Remus said.
"Okay," Sirius nodded. "Thanks."
"Now I'll let you go kiss your boyfriend," Remus grinned, nudging him and walking away. Sirius shook his head and laughed, and headed over to Regulus who raised his eyebrows.
"What was that about?"
"Nothing."
"It was about 'The Guy', wasn't it?" Regulus asked. "He knows! How come you told him and not me?"
"Because," Sirius said.
"Great answer," Regulus replied dryly.
"Butterbeer?" Sirius asked, changing the subject.
"Okay. I'll get us a table," Regulus said.
"He doesn't seem like a werewolf," Regulus said, when they were settled at their table with their drinks.
"No, he's just a normal person."
"I can see that," Regulus said. "He's nice. I can see why you're his friend."
Sirius decided now would be a good time to find out whether Regulus was gay or not.
"You don't fancy him, do you?" Sirius asked casually, taking a drink from his mug.
Regulus rolled his eyes. "No."
"I just kind of wondered about you… you aren't… you know, like me, are you?"
"Elaborate," Regulus said.
"Are you gay?" Sirius practically blurted out.
He saw Regulus's lips quirk up a little and he shook his head. "Not that I know of," he said.
"Great answer," Sirius said, copying what Regulus had said earlier.
"Why does it matter?" Regulus asked.
"It would be nice to have another gay person to talk to… you know, excluding my ex," Sirius lied.
No, it's really because if you are gay, you might like me.
"I picked up something cool from Zonko's when you were talking to Lupin," Regulus said, reaching into his pocket to pull out a funny device.
"I didn't even see you leave," Sirius said, confused.
"Yeah, it was cold," Regulus said. "Anyway, it's like a handwriting recognition device. I can decipher the card!"
OH SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT. NO.
HE'S GOING TO FIND OUT!
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