The next few hours were pure horror for Gibbs. The cancer had starred in Jane's pancreas but had spread to her liver, kidney, stomach, and intestines. She was told that with chemo and radiation maybe longer maybe shorter but the baby would die. Without chemo she had three weeks maybe more maybe less but there was no way she would survive long enough to give birth. She had undergone a complete physical four months earlier and had been perfectly fine. Now she was dying. It was like with Tony all over again. Gibbs had asked why none of this showed up in the blood test that confirmed her pregnancy but nobody could give him a straight answer. Not that he cared he was going to lose yet another woman he loved and yet another child. This one wouldn't even get a chance to be born. Gibbs sat by his wife's bedside holding her hand but unable to look at her. He remembered his mom's illness and diagnosis like it was yesterday.
FLASHBACK
Ten year old LJ Gibbs was hiding in his dad's garage workshop. Being in there without one of his parents or Uncle LJ was forbidden but sometimes he would sneak inside and play while his dad and LJ were busy with the store and his mom wasn't paying attention. It was a fun place to hide. Sometimes he would read other times he would play miner or war back there. Today was the perfect day to play there. Because his parents had left him with Uncle LJ and gone to the city. Part of him hoped that he would actually get hurt in there. To punish his parents for not taking him into the city with them. He had asked Uncle LJ why they went a million times before he finally sent him outside to play. He didn't understand what he had done wrong. Sure he had pestered grown-ups which he knew was bad but his parents were keeping secrets from him. Which in his mind was a gillion times worse than being annoying. His friends Bobby Lewis had suggested that his parents were going to get his birthday present. He liked the idea but his birthday wasn't until November. No way his parents would go that far for a gift that soon. Bobby had told him that he was being a Negative Nancy and stormed out. Taking his baseball with him. When little LJ went back inside for his basketball. He heard the sheriff's deputy ask Uncle LJ about Ann's trip to the doctor. That only added to the confusion. His parents went to Dr. Monroe just like everybody else in town. Why would they go all the way to the city just so his mom could see the doctor? Unless it was like when Katie Dean's mom started going to see the doctor out-of-town. Right before her baby brother was born. If his mom was pregnant he hoped that she had a girl especially if she had reddish-brown hair like their mother. He actually liked the idea of a baby sister. He would protect her from bullies and teach her how to ride a bike. The sun had already gone down and him and Uncle LJ had made his special steak recipe for him by the time his parents got home. It was technically past his bedtime and workshop was pitch black except for the faint moonlight in the window. He heard his dad's truck pull into the garage. His dad's door opened and he climbed out first. Then he walked around and helped his mom out of the passenger side. Jack had turned the light on and he could see his parents faces. They had both been crying.
"Should we wake Leroy up?" His mom asked.
"No we should wait until the results come in." His dad replied.
"I don't want to leave him Jack!" His mom cried,
"Relax Chickadee this could all be nothing. We won't know anything for at least a week." His dad replied.
"Or it could be cancer and you and I both know that is a death sentence." His mom cried.
"Hey come here it will be OK. It will be OK." Jack whispered.
END FLASHBACK
"Jethro!" Jane called.
"What is it? Do you need something?" Gibbs asked.
"No the doctor is here and wants to talk to us." Jane replied.
"Go ahead." Gibbs said.
"Good afternoon Mr. Gibbs. I am Dr. Rosenberg I am handling your wife's case." Dr. Rosenberg introduced.
"It's not a good afternoon." Gibbs scoffed.
"I guess that was a poor choice of words." Dr. Rosenberg replied.
"What other depressing news do you have for me? My wife already has terminal cancer and no matter what we do our baby will die too." Gibbs demanded.
"Actually it isn't more news. I just have a couple of questions for you and your wife." Dr. Rosenberg replied.
"What?" Gibbs demanded.
"Jethro please relax. What are your questions Dr. Rosenberg?" Jane replied.
"First off would you like chemotherapy and radiation? As we discussed earlier it could give you a few extra months but you will miscarry and while you could survive longer. There is just as much possibility that you will succumb within a few weeks anyway. If you refuse treatment you will only have three weeks." Dr. Rosenberg explained.
"I do not want treatment." Jane replied.
"I understand. My second question is where would you like to spend your last days?" Dr. Rosenberg asked.
"What do you mean?" Gibbs questioned.
"She has two options. She can either stay in the hospital under hospice care or she can return to her home and a hospice nurse will come to your home and care for her." Dr. Rosenberg explained.
"What do you want?" Gibbs asked Jane.
"I would like to spend my last days at home." Jane replied.
"Alright I will arrange for a nurse come and meet with you and then you will be released." Dr. Rosenberg replied.
"Thank you doctor." Jane replied voice cracking.
"Your welcome Mrs. Gibbs and I am sorry you have to go through all this." Dr. Rosenberg replied exiting the room.
Later that night Gibbs and Jane were sent home from the hospital. Jane would have two nurses coming to care for her Sandy would come during the day and Alexis would come by at night. They had decided that as painful as it would be. They needed to tell the kids and Paddy right away. Gibbs had called Jesse and told him that he needed to get to his mother's house as soon as possible. Gibbs didn't blink the whole drive home he just stared out the windshield at road ahead. The sky was pitch black which seemed appropriate given the news they had just received. When they arrived home Gibbs had to practically carry Jane inside. It was eerily reminiscent of when his parents came home. When his mom was sick. They came inside and found the three oldest kids sitting on the couch. Paddy was sitting on his father's lap. While Sydney, Liz, and JL sat on the floor.
"What is going on? You guys never call me over." Jesse asked.
"Mr. Vance said you guys were back at the hospital. Is everything OK?" Robby asked.
"Did you lose the baby?" Maddie asked.
"You're having a baby?" Sydney asked.
"Why does Gibbs look so sad?" JL asked.
"You both look sad and sick." Liz observed.
Gibbs stood completely frozen. He didn't want to tell the kids. These kids had already been through so much. When Jane died Jesse, Robby, and Maddie would be orphans, Sydney would lose the one biological parent who actually cared for her, and Liz and JL would lose another mom. They would all also lose a sibling. Gibbs would lose a wife and child and he was reliving another painful memory from his childhood. When his parents told him that his mother was sick.
FLASHBACK
Once his parents were inside little LJ climbed out from under the workbench. His parents conversation had left him even more confused. What was cancer and why was his mom so afraid of it? How did it kill you? Did it come up behind you with an ax like in the horror movies? No is his mom went to the doctor and had to be a sickness. Was it contagious like the chicken pox? He didn't want to get cancer too and leave his dad all alone. Two weeks later he was playing with his train-set in his room. When the door opened he looked up and saw his parents standing in the doorway. They had left him to go to the city again and his mom was crying again.
"Leroy come here your mom and I need to talk to you." His dad said.
"Am I in trouble?" LJ asked.
"No it's about your mother." His dad replied,
"Are you guys having a baby? Cause if you are worried about being too old. I can protect it and teach it how to ride a bike and play sports." LJ offered.
"No Leroy it's not that. It's." His dad started.
"Leroy I have a very bad disease called cancer and am going to have to go to heaven with Jesus and your grandma and grandpa Gibbs soon." His mom explained.
"Am I going to get sick too?" LJ asked.
"No Leroy you can't catch cancer. Do you have anymore questions?" His dad asked.
"No sir" LJ replied.
"Are you OK?" His mom asked.
"Yes" LJ lied.
END FLASHBACK
"Gibbs! Are you OK?!" Robby demanded.
"Kids we have some bad news." Jane replied.
"What's going on?" Jesse asked.
"I have terminal cancer. The kind I have is usually deadly even if they catch it early but it has already advanced and spread. Do you have any questions?" Jane explained.
"No" Maddie sighed.
"I need to get Paddy home." Jesse replied.
"This can't be happening." Robby whispered.
"No! You can't die!" Sydney cried.
"She's right you can't." Liz added.
"Like Tony?" JL asked.
"I am so sorry. I don't want to leave you guys." Jane replied pulling her children, grandson, husband, and step-children into a hug.
The hours that Gibbs thought were hell. Were nothing compared to the days that lay ahead for Gibbs, Jane, and their family. The first week Jane was weak but she could still get up and use the bathroom and spend time with Jethro and the children. By the second week she was too weak to get up and she had lost control of her bodily functions. Gibbs vomited and cried the first time he saw Sandy change her catheter and diaper. She was only forty-seven but she looked eighty. It was the Friday of that second week that Alexis went to change her later at night and found blood and what had been their baby. Gibbs fell to the ground and sobbed uncontrollably when he got the news. He had hoped that the baby would stay with his wife until the end but she was barely strong enough to support her own life. Let alone a baby that would never be born. Alexis took the expelled fetus and had in cremated. Jane and Gibbs decided to bury the baby with her so they could be together forever. Gibbs built a wooden urn for the baby. Tears spattered on the wood as he carved Tony M. Gibbs 2014 on the lid. By the third week Jane was to weak to even lift her head. She was sleeping twenty-two hours of the day and in a fog when she was awake. Everybody knew that it was her last day on Earth. She did not want the kids in the house when she died. So they had all already said their final goodbyes. Robby and Maddie were staying with friends and the younger kids were staying with Leon. So they could at least be close to home. Gibbs sat by his wife's side for what he knew would be the last time. When she was alive anyway.
"We only had a little over a year together and were only married a few months but they were the best months I had since Shannon died. I hope that you two can be friends up there." Gibbs told her.
"You made my life better too Jethro. I wish I didn't have to leave. Just promise me one thing." Jane replied.
"Anything" Gibbs replied.
"Take care of my babies." Jane replied.
"Of course and I know I have told you a million times the past few weeks but I love you more than anything Jane Marie Gibbs." Gibbs replied.
"I love you too Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Tell the kids I love them." Jane replied.
"I will." Gibbs assured.
"Goodbye Jethro." Jane replied she let out a gasp and then went completely limp.
Even though he knew that she was gone. Gibbs still grabbed his wife's limp body and screamed for Sandy. The nurse came running into the room. Gibbs couldn't watch this. He ran from the room and collapsed on to the floor of the hallway. The next few days would be even more hellish. He would have to tell the kids and plan the funeral. Then he would have to attend the funeral. Tears fell from his cheeks and he pounded his fists on the floor. As even more horrible memories came flooding back to him.
FLASHBACK
Ten year old Jethro Gibbs ran home from school. At long last fourth grade was over and summer had begun. No more tests, reports, or bullies just camping in the backyard, swimming in the river, hanging out with his friends, building things with his dad and LJ, playing in the store and best of all a later bedtime. He stopped dead in his track when he saw the car parked in front of his house. It was the town hearse. All the adults in town and a few older kids had gathered around outside. To watch except for Uncle LJ and his parents. He fell to his knees and prayed that this wasn't happening. That it was anybody else but her. Uncle LJ came running outside and grabbed him close.
"Uncle LJ where are my parents?" Jethro asked.
"I am so sorry Leroy." LJ replied.
"Sorry about what?" Jethro asked.
"Leroy your mother..." LJ started,
"MOM! DAD! What's going on?! Why is LJ so sad?!" Jethro demanded,
"She's gone Leroy. Your mother is gone." Jack replied pulling his son into a tight hug.
"No! She's not! I hate you!" Jethro yelled kicking and hitting his father.
Three days later she was buried. Gibbs sat between his father and Uncle LJ in the front row. Everybody in Stillwater came to her funeral. The general store was closed until the day after the burial. Then LJ ran the store by himself for the summer. While Jack and Jethro tried to cope. For the first time in his life Jethro was glad when school started. Even with the bullies who tormented him for crying even though they knew what his summer was like.
END FLASHBACK
Fifth grade was when he built the wall around himself. The one that had crumbled the day he found out Tony was terminal and vaporized the day that Jane died. Sandy came out of the room and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"I am sorry Jethro she is gone." Sandy said.
"NO!" Gibbs cried.
He didn't even have to tell the kids that she was gone. They already knew by the look on his face. He knew that he should be comforting his children but he was paralyzed by his own grief. Leon who had brought the kids over led him into the guest room. Knowing that being in the room where Jane had spent her last days was too much. Even with the doors closed Gibbs could hear his former boss doing the job he should be doing comforting the kids. Gibbs started to sob uncontrollably again.
"Jethro? Are you alright Jethro?" A familiar voice called
"He's coming too." An unfamiliar man's voice replied.
"JANE!" Gibbs cried.
"It's OK Jethro I am right here. Just follow the sound of my voice." Jane replied.
"I love you Jane but I can't leave the kids." Gibbs replied.
"Jethro the kids are upstairs and Robby can look after them." Jane replied.
"He's too young for that responsibility." Gibbs argued.
"What are you talking about his is eighteen and he babysits them all the time?" Jane asked.
"I love you and miss you. I love and miss Shannon, Kelly, and Tony too but I can't die. The kids can't lose both of us in one day." Gibbs argued,
"Jethro what are you talking about?" Jane asked.
"It is probably just delirium from the blow to the head. He should be fine but I want to take him to the hospital for a MRI just to be safe." The man replied.
"Delirium? Blow to the head? Jane you died of cancer." Gibbs argued.
"Jethro I don't have cancer. I'm pregnant and when you found out you fainted and knocked yourself out on the doorknob. This is Jim he is a paramedic and he wants you to go to the hospital just to be safe but you should be fine." Jane explained.
"It was so horrible and real. I love you so much Jane." Gibbs replied.
"Well it is not and we are both going to be just fine." Jane assured.
A/N: Are you pissed at me for giving Gibbs that dream or relieved that's all it was? I knew that Jane's illness would be Gibbs's dream but everything from after she told him she was pregnant on. Was a last-minute idea. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.