Varania was warm, wrapped in a soft blanket that smelled like smoke, Skyhold and Solas. It wasn't quite morning yet, just the faintest hint of light creeping over the edges of the high stone walls that surrounded the grove. The gold sunlight kissed the tips of the trees where they swayed in a soft breeze, still crisp with the cool of the night.

She rolled over and spotted Solas crouched on a stone near the water's edge, staring blankly towards the soft falling water as it rippled the surface of the pool. He looked like he was a thousand miles or a thousand years away.

Varania untangled herself from the blanket and found her clothes, neatly folded nearby. She slipped into them before making her way over to Solas, her feet soft in the damp grasses. His posture changed as she drew near though he didn't turn around.

"Good Morning," he said, his voice cool and neutral. Solas stood from crouching so gracefully it temporarily distracted her, but the sad expression on his face when he turned to her sobered her immediately. Solas seemed to pull a mask over his expression when he saw the frown appear at the corner of her mouth.

"Did you sleep well?" His voice was conversational, but he wasn't fooling her.

"I did," she replied. "Though I didn't expect you'd wake before me." It was odd. On the rare occasions that she talked Solas into staying with her, she almost always woke before he did. She was used to waking early and he was too interested in the Fade to leave it before the demands of his body woke him.

"I was thinking," he said, reaching out and taking her hands. "I said I wanted to tell you..."

She interrupted, sounding almost annoyed. "Yes, the truth, whatever that is." She shook her head. "Solas, if this is causing you this much distress, maybe you shouldn't-"

He put a finger gently across her lips. "No, it's important."

"All right then," she conceded. He needed to tell her, for whatever reason. She tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest.

"Vhenan," he said, squeezing her hands. His eyes were downcast for a moment. He looked back up at her, resolute. "I...I'm-" Uncharacteristically his words were not carefully chosen and he stopped. Cleared his throat. In the wan light it seemed like he became a little paler. "The truth then. Your face. The vallaslin."

Varania furrowed her brow. Something seemed wrong in how he continued, as if he'd meant to turn left and turned right instead.

"In my journeys in the Fade I have seen things. I have learned what those markings mean."

"They honor the elven gods," Varania replied quickly. The Dalish had made sure she understood their meaning well before she was ready to wear them. Her tattoos, for June the god of Crafting, reminded her both of her brother's lyrium tattoos and how she was building herself from scratch. They were one part of being Dalish that she embraced wholeheartedly.

"No," Solas said. "They are slave markings. Or at least they were, in the time of ancient Arlathan."

It felt the the ground under her feet shift.

Slave markings?

danarius used to brush her hair and hit her and they'd watch her and force her and deprived her sleep and food and he mutilated her brother and threw her out on to the streets and then tricked her, lied to her and his death abandoned her starving running dying

"So this is what, just one more thing the Dalish got wrong?" she choked on the words, her body tensing at the flood of memories.

Solas looked like she slapped him. "I'm sorry."

Varania looked at the ground. "They try to preserve their culture, so proud of being the last elvhen yet-" She looked up at him, his eyebrows drawn low over his eyes. "This is what they keep? Relics of a time they were no better than Tevinter?" She couldn't look at him.

She let the Dalish disfigure her, mark her forever. She would never not be a slave now.

they, not we.

And worse, what had she done to herself at the Temple of Mythal?

"I didn't tell you this to hurt you, but knowing your past?" He sighed softly, trying to meet her eyes. "If you like, I know a spell. I can remove the vallaslin."

Varania's heart flipped in her chest as she looked up at him. She wanted to say something, but found she didn't have words. Solas put his hand on her face.

"I look at you and I see what you truly are. You have never been a slave, no matter what was done to you," he said. "In your heart, you have always been you, always been free." Varania wanted to believe him, but she wasn't so sure. "You deserve so much better than what those cruel marks represent."

"Then cast your spell," she said, finding her voice sooner than she expected. "Take the vallaslin away. Please."

He smiled at her beatifically, but there was something more behind his eyes. It felt like there was more he wasn't telling her, even as he directed her to sit beside him. They knelt facing each other at the waters edge, the grass soft and deep. The ground was damp here and she could feel the cool moisture seeping through the fabric of her pants on into her skin. She shivered as Solas lifted his hands towards her, but she wasn't sure if it was cold or fear.

Magic didn't frighten her; Solas didn't frighten her. Her heart still hammered wildly.

She felt his magic tug at the thin sheathe of the veil around them, the familiar invisible but undeniable ripple in the air. His hands began to sparkle, glowing blue green and casting a glow on their skin. She closed her eyes but the light filtered through her eyelids until everything glowed, blinding her. The magic tingled against her face, but didn't hurt, not like having the vallaslin put on to her face had.

When they tattooed her, her skin wept blood. Now, it was only the warmth of his skin, the magic in the air and the all encompassing light.

When the glow faded, she opened her eyes, blinking to clear them. Everything was black and white at first, just shadows. Then tones of grey, blue, green, the pale rose of Solas's mouth. She could see his face again, yet his blue eyes looked dark and bottomless.

"Ar lasa mala revas," he said, his voice only slightly more than a whisper. "You are free."

Her eyes burned.

Solas helped her to her feet, his eyes trained on her face, caressing the curve of her jaw, her now naked skin.

"It is good to see you as you were meant to be," he said, smiling faintly. "You are too beautiful to be obscured with...lies."

She let herself melt into his arms, lifting her face up to his. Solas's lips were soft and warm against hers. His kiss was gentle. She felt tears prickle in the corners of her eyes.

He pulled away from her and looked at her so carefully again, as if he was trying to memorize her face, burn her new bare skin into his memory. Then, like a cloud passing in front of the sun, his face changed. He closed off, stepped back, just far enough away that they couldn't touch.

"I'm sorry." It was the second time he said it, but this time, it had a tone of finality. "I distracted you from your duty. Today, and too many other days." He clenched his teeth. "It will never happen again."

Her heart stopped.

"Solas." His name came unbidden, almost like a prayer, questioning and pleading.

"Please vhenan," he said, taking another step back.

Though her eyes burned, a new set of memories flooded in. These were newer and far more important to her than these shadows of Tevinter.

your indomitable focus, your rare spirit; steel blue eyes in candle light, in sunlight, next to her when she woke, warm calloused fingers against her face, stories into the darkest part of the night, a soft voice in her ear

ar lath ma'vhenan

my heart

"Solas," she said, her voice more assured than she expected. The memories bolstered her. "I'm not giving up on you."

His voice was broken. "You truly should."

"Whatever you need, we can do together." She believed that without hesitation. Perhaps she was always free, but he helped her see it.

"No, we cant." He took another step away, trying and failing to hide the pain on his face. It was hurting him as much as it was hurting her.

Why was he doing this? She knew he had secrets, that there was more to him than he shared, but she thought she'd finally reached him. She thought he knew him.

"You'll see," he said, this time, turning away. "I'm sorry." His voice cracked but he didn't hesitate and walked away. She took a step toward his retreating back, but stopped herself.

She watched him go.

She did know him. He would not be swayed, not now.

Varania swallowed hard, blinked and realized her eyes were wet, tears clinging to her eyelashes. She touched her own cheek brushing the tears away and the skin felt the same as it always had, even without the vallaslin.

Despite the burning ache in her chest, her bare face, the silence, she was still the same inside. Her heart felt broken, battered but it was still her own heart.

He was right about one thing, she'd always been free. That didn't mean he was right about everything.

"I love you," she said aloud, knowing he couldn't hear her.

If she knew only one this, it was that love was more powerful than he realized. Perhaps she'd never been in a romance before, but love she knew. Slavery and betrayal hasn't been enough to break the love she shared with her brother. Her brother's fear of magic, well earned, hadn't driven him from her or from his Hawke.

Love was powerful. More powerful than the anchor on her hand and it was saving the world.

He'd not given her freedom, just removed its symbol. He hadn't taken her love or his own away either.

She was free. That meant she was free to love him even if he walked away from her. She wasn't giving up on him, not even if he wanted her to. If he loved her half as much as she loved him, he'd be back. She wondered for a moment which part was the truth that was hurting him so. The vallaslin, or his need to leave? Or was it something else instead, something he still wasn't telling her and perhaps it was what was driving him away.

For now, it didn't matter. He would tell her in time. She felt it in her spirit. She felt it just as surely as she felt Solas's magic on her skin. All she could do now was wait.

Patience.

She wrapped her arms around herself, eyes still trained on where Solas had disappeared into the shadows. Silent and resolute, the tears still came, even so.