Author's Chapter Notes:
It's been a week! I think that says it all! This chapter was very hard for me to write and I'm afraid to say there are definite signs of writer's block kicking in :(
I know most of y'all will hate me again by the end of this and I apologize but I finally know where this story is going and if y'all don't like it then...meh :)
All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer but all characterisations and plot lines of ForgetMeNot are copyrighted of LiveInDakota 2010
I really do hope y'all enjoy :)
Chapter Twenty One: Breakfast Best Served Cold...
Every night I go
Every night I go sneakin' out the door
I lie a little more
Baby I'm a helpless
There's something 'bout the night
And the way it hides all the things I like
Little black butterflies
Deep inside me...
What would my mama do?
[Uh oh, uh oh]
If she knew 'bout me and you
[Uh oh, uh oh]
What would my daddy say?
[Uh oh, uh oh]
If he saw me hurt this way
Uh oh, uh oh
Why should I feel ashamed?
Feeling guilty at the mention of your name...
Here we are again
It's nearly perfect
What would my mama do?
[Uh oh, uh oh]
If she knew 'bout me and you
[Uh oh, uh oh]
What would my daddy say?
[Uh oh, uh oh]
If he saw me hurt this way
Uh oh, uh oh
All the things a girl should know
Are the things she can't control
All the things a girl should know
She can't control
What would my mama do?
What would my daddy say?
What would my mama do?
[Uh oh, uh oh]
If she knew 'bout me and you
[Uh oh, uh oh]
What would my daddy say?
[Uh oh, uh oh]
If he saw me hurt this way
Uh oh, uh oh
Uh oh, uh oh
Uh oh, uh oh
Uh oh, uh oh
Mama Do - Pixie Lott
Bella's POV: Now
I watched with a small smile on my lips as Edward disappeared out of my window, all apprehension gone, knowing he could handle a simple tree.
I dashed as quickly as I could to the bathroom and freshened myself up a bit. When I opened the door, Charlie was coming out of his room, already washed, shaved, and dressed for the day. I felt myself go pale at the thought that Charlie had been out of bed this morning...while Edward was still in the house.
However, he only tossed a "morning, Bells" over his shoulder before he descended the stairs with me behind him. He waited patiently at the bottom, probably trying to gauge if I was going to tumble down them or not, before disappearing into the kitchen.
"Dad, are you off today?" Charlie turned his attention away from the coffee pot and shook his head.
"Why, kiddo?"
"Have you got time for breakfast?" He nodded his head before turning back to the coffee, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard.
I was getting confused as I got out the pans and set them on the top of the stove. Why hadn't Edward rung the bell yet? Had he fallen from the tree? Walked off? My mind was whirring with thoughts of what could have happened to him when the bell finally did ring. I jumped; startled out of my thoughts by the sound before I told Charlie I would get it.
I opened the door with a permanent smile on my face and blushed at the way Edward looked me over. I was well aware that I had changed, but I was barely making an effort. At this point, I knew Edward didn't care what I wore or how I looked, and yes, it had taken me nine months to figure that out.
"Breakfast?" My voice was a breathy whisper when I eventually found it. Edward looked entirely too good for wearing yesterday's clothes and having just crawled out of bed.
"Absolutely, I'm famished!" I giggled lightly as I stepped aside, breathing deeply as he brushed past me, deliberately touching me more than was necessary.
He put one arm around me and pressed a kiss to my temple before stepping away again. It was such a quick action, and I was wondering behind his reason until I noticed we weren't alone.
"Jake?" I suddenly felt unbelievably self-conscious as I took in Jacob, striding up the path towards the door. His dark wash jeans fit perfectly over his brown leather casual shoes, his white t-shirt clinging to the mass of muscles that made up his stomach and chest, and his dark brown leather jacket looking altogether too good. I was surrounded by unnaturally handsome guys.
His beaming smile that always made him look years younger had me smiling in return and once again jumping into his arms as he stopped in front of me. Things with Jake were always easier. Something about his boyish grin and silly sense of humor nearly always had me forgetting everything else and feeling the age I actually was.
"Morning, Bells. You look terrible!" His warm laugh rumbled through his body, vibrating through me as I hugged myself into his never wavering heat.
"Sh'up, Jake..." I snuggled myself closer to him as he set my feet on the ground, smiling as his arms stayed around me.
"Well, I brought food to fatten up your skinny ass...only the best of course, but it seems I've picked the wrong morning..." Jake pulled away from me, his eyes flitting up and down my body, but not in a predatory way like I was used to with Edward - he was simply emphasizing his point.
It didn't occur to me until he mentioned the wrong morning that Edward was witnessing our reunion. I turned to find him openly scowling, an expression that didn't even fall from his face when he looked at me. He was pissed.
I shrank away from his gaze, and while he seemed to realize how he had made me feel, he didn't soften it as he used to. Jake noticed the sudden tension in my body and squeezed my hand in his overly large one, trying to make me feel better. It only served to make things worse when Edward's eyes flew to the gesture.
"Bells? Who's at the door?" Charlie broke us all out of our "moment" without even realizing it. This wasn't how this morning was supposed to go. I was fairly certain Charlie wouldn't be happy at the reappearance of Edward. I may have told Edward he didn't need to worry about my dad, but Charlie was still wary of the fight we'd had.
"What's he doing here?" he asked gruffly, his eyes settling on Edward first.
Bingo. Jake's head moved between the three of us, and Edward looked at me before flicking his gaze nervously to my dad.
See, this should have been the way things started.
"I invited him, Dad. We sorted everything out, remember?" Charlie's eyes locked with mine and must have found the sincerity and hope I was trying to convey. He nodded his head, his eyes landing on the guy holding my hand. This would have confused even me if I'd walked in on it.
"Jake! It's good to see you again, son!" If it was possible, Edward's scowl grew more pronounced. Had he been hoping Charlie wouldn't like Jake as much? There was a fat chance of that happening.
"Chief! I brought our Bells here some breakfast, but there's not enough here for all of us..." He was trying to be nice, but I could see from where I was standing that Edward was getting angrier instead of calmer.
"Jake, can you put that out in the kitchen? Edward and I need to talk." Three sets of surprised eyes flicked to me, but I stood my ground, smug that I could keep my blush at bay.
"Sure thing, Bells." He squeezed my hand once more before following Charlie into the kitchen, asking him politely about what he had been up to at work recently.
With the two voices steady in the kitchen, I could hear Edward's breathing as he tried to battle his anger. With the door still open, I motioned him outside and followed him out onto the porch.
"Edward, why are you so angry?" I didn't get why he was so worked up about breakfast with Jake, he could have the rest of the day with me if he wanted - it was a Saturday after all.
"I guess I forgot about your boyfriend..." His words wouldn't have had made much of an impact if it hadn't been the way he spat them at me. I cringed away from his disgust, confused as to how he could even think Jake was my boyfriend after the past ten days we had had.
"Edward, he's not..."
"Save it, Bella...You could have waited until I had left instead of rubbing it in my face!" The incredulous look on my face only fueled his rant. "He was fucking all over you! And you didn't even stop him! Finding it hard to choose between us or something? I'll just keep them both?" His fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides, the veins on his neck and forehead becoming more and more prominent. Edward was actually scaring me.
"Is that what you think?" My voice was tiny compared to his, but I don't think my fear even registered with him.
"Fuck what I think, Bella. I know what I fucking saw!" He pointed his finger roughly in the direction of the kitchen through the house, but I was barely registering it. I had thought that morning had meant something, but if he was standing there, honestly believing that I was still with Jake then it clearly meant less to him.
"Do you know what? Jake was there! He was there when you...when no one else was! If you have a problem with that you can leave, Edward, because I'm sick of you acting like such an asshole!" His eyes widened momentarily at the cold seeping from my voice, and the way I was actually shouting at him. Yeah, I was fucking surprised too, but I was also pissed off.
"Wait...you're choosing him?" His voice changed to one of disbelief, all anger gone - in its place the insecurities he was hiding behind it.
"Right now? Yeah, I guess I am, 'cause there's clearly some shit you need to work through!" I turned and opened the door before Edward spoke.
"Me? What the fuck, Bella? Bella?"
"No, Edward, go home. You're scaring me right now. Maybe by the end of the day you'll have figured out that I never chose him...ever..."
He looked terrified himself when I told him he had scared me, but it soon morphed to confusion. Yeah, it wouldn't make sense to me either if I couldn't remember our past, but I was beyond caring that I was saying too much. His memory couldn't come back quick enough, even if he never spoke to me again, at least he would freaking remember what it was like.
I closed the door behind me as the tears spilled over. How many times had I cried in the past two weeks? I had learned to show no emotion at all in the past four months and whenever Edward reappeared, it was as if the damn just broke.
Charlie found me sitting on the floor at the base of the door, trying to stop the tears before I made my way back into the kitchen. His feet appeared in my vision before his hand was on my arm, pulling me into a standing position and then into his arms.
"What is he doing to you?" His voice was soft and soothing, and exactly what I needed.
I snuggled myself into his chest, reveling in the fact that I had very rarely done this before. In that moment I realized just how much I had missed my dad, not knowing I even had until these past ten days. Edward returning had brought me my dad, and I was probably going to be forever grateful for that fact, whether Edward knew it or not.
"I love you, Daddy."
I felt like a little girl again, safe and cared for from the big bad world, taking refuge in my home and protected by my parents.
"Shh, Bells, I love you, too. More than anything, okay?" I nodded into his chest before pulling back and wiping furiously at my tears. "Right, enough of this mushiness. I need to get to work...You gonna be okay with, Jake?" I nodded and watched with a small smile as Charlie collected his "kit" from the cupboard and headed out to his car.
Jake's arms wrapped around me from behind and he rested his head on my shoulder. As I watched Charlie back out of the driveway, I thought about what Edward had said. It didn't feel like anything more than a friend comforting a friend, but how was I supposed to know if Jake felt the same way? Could Edward see something that I couldn't because he was a removed party? Or was he just jealous?
"Where's Edward?" I cringed as his warm breath fanned over my neck. This time last week I may have selfishly craved it, a month ago, I would have welcomed it, but now I knew how wrong it was.
"I have no idea..." I shivered at the thought. It scared me, and I couldn't figure out why. I only knew that I wanted him back standing beside me and smiling - in whatever form I could have him.
"How about we get some food into that skinny body of yours, eh?" I nodded silently and followed him into the kitchen, sitting myself down at the table and letting him set out the things he had brought. "Eat up!" He placed two waffles down on a plate in front of me before placing a bowl of strawberries and a pitcher of cream in the middle of the table.
He wouldn't know that the muffins from the same bakery in town were my favorite, or that I wanted a caramel macchiato as my sugar fix. He hadn't spent enough time with me to figure that out. He didn't know that and still bring me them when he had lost his memory. He wasn't the guy I needed or even the one that knew me best, but I hoped I could keep Jake as a friend. There was always a warm feeling radiating from him, putting those around him at ease. Like he was the friendliest person alive and would astound anyone with his loyalty.
I smiled into my breakfast with a sad sigh; the walking contradiction that I was. We ate in silence, suiting me as it gave me ample time to think over my actions. Why had we started arguing in the first place? Why had Edward snapped so easily when only the day before he had astounded me with the way he had calmed himself down?
I was very briefly happy that Edward felt so much as to get so jealous, but it didn't quell the loneliness I felt, sitting at my kitchen table with the wrong guy.
"You wanna talk about it?" Jake was standing by the sink, drying his hands on the towel with his back leaning against the counter. As I looked past him, I noticed he had already washed the dishes we had used and stacked them on the draining board. How long had I been out of it this time?
I shook my head, avoiding his eyes as I stood from the table and tucked my chair back under it. Where was Edward? Where would he have gone? What was he thinking about? How was he feeling? I hoped he had calmed enough to think straight because I knew as well as anyone that he wouldn't make it home in one piece if he were still angry.
"Do you want me to leave?" I shook my head again, realizing I had to make up my mind about what I wanted.
Jake stepped in front of me and held out his hand. I looked at it for a second before grabbing it and letting him help me up. He swept me into another warm hug in the middle of my kitchen, and I didn't think twice about letting myself melt into his heat and allow myself to feel comforted.
I was enveloped in his warmth, breathing in his scent, so different from Edwards yet so similar to both his and Jasper's. They all made me feel safe, loved and wanted.
I pressed my cheek to Jake's chest, chastising myself for even thinking what it would be like to be with him properly. I was in love with Edward. Again, I felt the overwhelming sadness at the weeks to come. Edward was going to remember, hate me and leave for Chicago, or he was never going to remember me, and whether he stayed here or went to Chicago, I wasn't sure I could live with it.
I pulled back slightly and angled my head up so that I could look at Jake's face. His smile was small but friendly, and his honey-brown eyes roamed over my face. I blushed slightly as his gaze fell on my lips more often than any other part of my face, but I squashed it as soon as it bloomed.
What would it have been like if I had never met Edward? He wouldn't have ruined every other guy for me. What would it have been like if I'd met Jake in our own time? This moment would have come so much sooner.
I had kissed Jake before, hell, we had made out more times than Edward and I had in the past two weeks. It had never given me the same thrill or goosebumps, but Jake liked me and I liked him. This kiss was going to be different. I worked it all out in my head as his eyes darkened above me. It would be a goodbye if I felt nothing, but a promise for more if I found that this was the choice I did want to make. I didn't hold my breath though; Edward was always top of the list.
I stepped up onto my tiptoes slowly, locking my eyes onto Jakes. The guilt that I was even contemplating this was crushing me, but I rationalized it by telling myself this was for Edward and I. How could I honestly make the choice if I never knew what I was choosing between? Everything that was screaming at me that I was cheating on Edward blew up in my head when Jake pressed his lips to mine.
It was tentative; he was asking me if I was sure, puzzled as to why this was happening when he knew Edward had been here. I pulled myself closer in answer, and he groaned lowly as I pressed my body closer, winding my fingers into his floppy hair.
Any sound from Edward usually had me aching with need and satisfaction, but as Jake deepened our kiss, holding me into his warm body, I felt nothing. I was confused at the disappointment I felt, hadn't I wanted to feel nothing?
As Jake kept us together, kissing slowly, I realized why I was disappointed. I wanted Edward, and that meant I wanted him with all the fucked-up shit we had to go through. I loved him and wanted to stay with him, and with that, I knew I was setting myself up for more heartache than I was sure I could handle. Jake was the safe choice here, but I didn't want to make it.
I pulled back abruptly, stepping away from Jake's embrace, putting a healthy distance between us as I tried to pull myself out of my own thoughts. I didn't look at him, deliberately keeping my eyes fixed on other things around the kitchen as I started to shake my head.
I shouldn't have done that. Surely, there had been another way to figure it out. However, I had to be sure. I had known before, but now I knew for certain.
I cheated on Edward. I kissed another guy hardly an hour after I kicked him out of my house for being jealous of said guy. There was no coming back from this. What the fuck had I done?
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry..." I sank back down into the chair I had not long vacated, shaking my head in disbelief at what I had talked myself into.
"Well, that's not exactly the response a guy wants, but okay..." I looked up at him, and although he was smirking, I could tell he was annoyed.
"No, I mean, for making you into the bad guy...Edward will kill you if he finds out...which he has to because I have to tell him...I wanted to kiss you, but now I wish I hadn't, you know?" I was rambling and I knew it.
"Can you answer me something, Bells?" Jake pulled a chair across the floor and sat in it, close enough that his knees were touching mine. I nodded my head, wondering what he was going to ask.
"Why did you kiss me?" It was a simple enough question, but the look in his eyes told me he wasn't going to settle for something less than the complicated truth.
"I wanted to make sure I was making the right choice..." He nodded and smiled sadly at me before standing up and placing the chair back where he had taken it from.
"Guess it's not me, eh?" I hoped the sincerity in my apologies was written across my face because I had no idea what to say to him.
"I'm sorry, Jake."
He crouched down in front of me and gripped my hand in his.
"Don't be...I enjoyed it and I'm glad you at least tried...Edward's a lucky guy." His smile wasn't covering anything this time, and the friendliness behind it made my eyes water.
He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and brought me to him in a hug I was in desperate need of. I could sense straight away, though, that the arms I needed held by didn't belong to Jake. Why couldn't it have been that easy before?
I walked him out as he left, gnawing my lip as I went over every possible outcome to me telling Edward about our kiss - none of which were very pretty.
As I stepped out onto the porch for what felt like the hundredth time that morning, I noticed Rose's BMW pulling into the driveway. With one last warm hug, Jake left, saying he had someone he had to go and see and that I should wish him luck. He wouldn't tell me who, though - even when I pouted.
Rose was climbing the three steps up to where I was standing as Jake's car pulled back out onto the road. He honked his horn and both of us gave him a small wave before he disappeared out of sight. He was going the wrong way to be going home, though, so whomever he had to visit didn't live in La Push.
"Bella?" Rose's voice brought me out of my thought crazed haze, and I turned from where Jake's car had vanished to see her looking at me, concern etched across her face.
I stepped towards her and threw my arms around her shoulders in barely a blink. This was the one moment I needed a female the most and Rose just happened to be here. I had treated her so badly over the previous week, and I felt a resounding guilt at my actions.
"I'm so sorry about how I acted...I was such a cow."
She giggled lightly before pulling away and steering me into the living room.
"Bella, honey, it's fine. I guess I can see where you were coming from, I know you were just angry." She was looking at me sympathetically, and in that moment I knew.
"You knew, didn't you?" I couldn't help the way my eyes narrowed at her causing her to hold her hands up.
"Not about the Lauren thing, no! I would have told you sooner if I'd known, Bells...but I did know about Chicago." My gaze softened considerably, my anger locked back in the "for Jasper" box.
We sat on opposite sides of the sofa, making our way steadily through the tub of ice cream and packet of cookies Rose had brought with her. She told me all about her date, describing how sweet and attentive Emmett had been all night and that she thought she was falling for him.
I asked her how she knew, and listened intently as she described the way she felt when he was around and the things he did for her. I found solace in the fact that I could liken myself to almost everything we talked about. The way I felt about Edward was a hundred times more powerful than anything Rose could put into words.
"You wanna tell me why you looked like someone had run over your puppy when I got here?" We had been sitting quietly for a few minutes, having laughed hysterically over the way Emmett had acted about her cars.
Apparently, he looked like he was close to drooling when she showed him her garage at home. Her parents were relatively well off, but she made a deal with them when she was only fifteen that any money she made from washing and fixing cars would go into her garage. Her dad walled off a section of the eight car garage adjoining their house, and it had been Rose's ever since - to bring her business home.
"I fucked up so badly..." Her perfectly groomed eyebrow arched above her eye, silently asking me to elaborate. "I kissed Jake..." Other than the way her face paled slightly and her eyes widened momentarily before she composed herself, she gave no other insight into how she was feeling about that piece of information.
"Why, Bella? I thought you guys sorted everything out?" I nodded sadly because we had, in a manner of speaking. We had a shit load else to talk about, but things had been going well.
"We got into an argument this morning because he was jealous over Jake...he kept saying that I was rubbing my relationship with Jake in his face. He basically implied I was actually going out with Jake while I had been with him."
"What the fuck? Is that boy deranged?" I laughed once with a little humor at Rose's outburst, feeling lighter that she was, at that moment, siding with me.
"I didn't even invite him. Jake just showed up on the doorstep with breakfast. I only gave him a hug and Edward was so angry...I told him he was scaring me and to leave. I guess he thought I chose Jake after all." I sighed, raking my hands through my hair in frustration.
"But why did you go and kiss Jake?"
"I...I don't know...well I do...but I don't know if it'll make much sense..."
"Try me." She scooted closer on the sofa, knocking her knees against mine and mirroring my position.
"Things with Edward just always seem to hurt so much...I thought Jake would be better, like a safer choice? And I stupidly talked myself into thinking that I would never know if I had made the right decision unless I kissed Jake..."
"But you've made out with Jake before…"
"I know! It was like...in that moment...when nothing else was happening...I thought we might have like, a moment or something, .but there was nothing. All I could think about was Edward."
"I guess that's good then..." She scrunched up one side of her face, showing that even she wasn't sure. "Maybe things with Edward are so hard because it means that much more? Love isn't supposed to be easy, Bells. You have to fight every damn second for it."
I was surprised by the tone in Rose's voice, but the fact that she was right overshadowed everything else. How could I have been so stupid?
"I love him so much..." Her eyebrows rose in disbelief before she smiled warmly. I had forgotten that Rose knew nothing about New York and that she didn't have the background to "us" at all.
"Emmett told me about Edward, Bells .I'm sorry he doesn't remember you." The shock must have shown on my face because she laughed lightly at my reaction. Maybe they were closer than I had originally thought.
"I lied to you," I answered randomly. I decided that all of it needed to be out in the open. I needed practice at talking it all through, and Rose was the best candidate.
"Bella, it's fine, I understand." She waved me off with a smile before reaching for another cookie.
"No, Rose. At the end of September, remember the days I took off school? I had the flu after going camping with Jasper?" She nodded her head, bewildered as to why I was bringing it up.
That had been my rouse. The camping trip was me being in the hospital and staying one day at Jasper's. The flu had been my way of not going to school for at least a week. I faked it to my parents, and used the time to recover in bed like the doctor had told me to.
"I didn't have the flu. I didn't even go camping, I...Rose, I was pregnant..." She gasped softly, not expecting news of that caliber, and I felt the tears threaten because I hadn't been expecting it at the time either.
"I had a miscarriage, and I lied to everyone! You, Mom, Dad. Jasper knew...he stayed with me, and his parents covered it all for us...I don't even know why they did it! I'm so sorry I didn't tell you." I was unwinding my legs so I could stand up, preparing myself for Rose's anger, thinking she would react the same way I had imagined Renee to.
"Oh my God, Bells!"
Before I could stand, she had gathered me into her arms, and we were rocking back and forth, both crying and hugging the shit out of each other. "I'm so sorry you went through that without someone, me, anyone female..." I cried harder, now knowing that she would have been there for me just as Jasper had been.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
She clasped me tighter, rubbing her hands up and down my back as I tried to calm my tears.
"You don't need to apologize, Bella! Sure, I wish you had told me so I could have been here, but I'm not angry at you." I felt all the tension leave my body at her statement.
"Oh my god! Edward! This is so messed up, how are you even staying sane with all this? Edward doesn't know he was going to be a father, you poor things."
If anyone else had said it, it would have sounded patronizing, but the sincere tones flowing through Rose's voice told me she was genuinely concerned for the situation I found myself in.
"I just want to tell him everything! But the doctor's said it could do more harm than good. But when he remembers he's going to hate me. I'm lying about so much I can't even remember what the truth is anymore."
She soothed me as I worked through my emotions, hugging me close and listening to all I had to say as I rid myself of everything that had been bubbling up to the surface.
"Rosie, what am I going to tell him about Jake? It's just another reason for him to hate me...maybe this time he'll give up, and I won't have to do it anymore..." She pulled back sharply, leaving my center of gravity way off as I tried to keep myself upright.
"That's why you did it!"
I furrowed my brows, genuinely not knowing what she was talking about.
"Why you kissed Jake again! You don't think you're good enough for Edward, so you're giving him all the reasons to listen to Alice and leave! Bella, you can't just give up!"
I shook my head at first, trying to tell her she was wrong, but what she said made sense. Maybe I hadn't rationalized it like that at the time, but now it all fit.
I continued shaking my head because I thought I was right, he could do better than me. He could go home, start afresh with someone who has no secrets from him, and be able to trust them. What was a relationship without trust? I could stay here with Jake and be at least cared for, even if I didn't love him like I did Edward. Maybe I could learn and grow to love him just as much.
"Bella, stop! Stop thinking like that! I can see it all over your face." I flushed in embarrassment at being so easy to read and stared at the ice cream tub on the table.
"Maybe he will be angry at first, but that boy loves you, and deep down inside he knows that you were, and are, the one for him." I started to shake my head in protest, but she held up her hand to stop me interrupting. "I know he doesn't remember you, but he will, Bella. Emmett told me he's been remembering things and trying to piece them together. Edward keeps saying how alike you and the girl in his memories are, but he thinks it's his conscious mind putting that together. It won't be long until all of him catches up and realizes there never was anyone else for him."
I stared at her, the tears leaking slowly from my tear ducts, soaking up every word. She had just voiced the one actuality I had never dared to think about.
Every time I imagined him finally remembering, I had automatically thought he would hate me. I had never entertained the idea that he would piece it together before he actually remembered everything...maybe I could break him in slowly. Carlisle said it was my decision to tell him we knew each other or not. Maybe I could start with a basic "we met in New York," and just let his brain filter everything through to him. But did that come under "more harm than good?" I had no idea.
"I need to tell him about Jake..." I stood too quickly from the sofa and winced as the stitches pulled at my inside muscles. Rose placed her hand on my hip to steady me and we gathered our rubbish, dumping it in the bin in the kitchen.
"Do you know why Alice wants to go back to Chicago?" she asked.
I shrugged, not entirely sure of the situation.
"She ran out of here crying on Monday when I told her how angry Edward was going to be when he remembered everything. I guess she thinks if she takes him away from here, he'll remember things more slowly. But it's too late now. He already knows they moved him to Forks, going back to Chicago isn't going to change his anger towards why they did it when he figures it out..." I answered
Rose was worrying her bottom lip as I recounted my thoughts, looking uncharacteristically unsure.
"You don't want Emmett to leave, do you?" She shook her head and I laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, I know how you feel."
She smiled weakly, and I shook my head at how entwined everything had become in the past fortnight.
Fates and destinies were being written all around us, and one simple wrong move from one of us could break everything that had already been set. There was more than one person's anger, misery, happiness and trust on the line with this one.
I headed up the stairs for a shower, simultaneously wondering how it had gotten to four o'clock after Rose had arrived at twelve, and how it was still so early, the day having felt longer than most weeks in my past.
I felt some of my tension evaporate with the steam in the bathroom as I stood under the relentless spray of the hot shower. I imagined washing away every lie, every secret, and every wrongdoing as I washed every inch of my skin and hair.
I made the split decision as I was dressing not to phone Edward, but rather go and see him. This was yet another conversation that needed to be hashed out face-to-face, and plus, I wasn't entirely sure he would answer his phone when he saw me on caller ID.
I threw on a pair of loose fitting jeans and a navy blue t-shirt, covering it with my favorite dark-grey hooded top before scraping my hair back into a pony and shoving my feet into my Converse.
I was descending the stairs when I heard a car pulling up in front of the house. Rose must have thought it was Charlie, too, because she didn't move from her perch on the sofa where she was watching the news.
We both looked at each other when the doorbell rang; alerting us to the fact that it was a visitor. I grabbed my mom's car keys again and shoved some emergency money into my pocket before heading to the door. I would see who it was and get rid of them because I was set on getting to the Cullens'.
"Rose, I'm going to see Edward. Tell Charlie I don't know when I'll be home." I turned on my heel when she called back, and wrenched the door open, the second ringing of the bell having pissed me off. I hadn't taken that long to answer.
"No need for the trip, I guess..." Edward's voice was small and weak as he looked at me. The vacant expression in his eyes, and the lack of anger in his voice, scared me more than his temper ever had. He sounded and looked like he'd given up on everything.
But he couldn't have given up...otherwise, he wouldn't have come back. He wouldn't be standing on my doorstep, waiting to talk to me if he wasn't there to work things out - again. I refused to give space in my head to the other niggling thought on my brain.
He's here to tell you he's leaving.
Author's Chapter End Notes:
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